YOU WON’T CHOOSE ME

(By Tammy Vaughn)

Recently my band, Dana Isles and Facedown, went to Knoxville, TN to record a six song EP.  When you record a song you tend to hear it over and over again.  As I listened to it over and over again, the words to one of the songs got me thinking about a lot of areas of life and the people in those areas.

The song is called “You Won’t Choose Me.” It is written from God’s perspective of how He (Jesus) pursues us and loves us yet we don’t choose Him.  When I first heard it I thought it was very sad.  In fact, I still think it’s sad because the song does a great job of highlighting how some people simply do not choose Jesus.  Some of the words to the song are the following:

“Many are Called, Called to follow Him but a very few choose to believe

I have chosen you but you won’t choose me

I try, try, try to make you love me, but you won’t choose me,

I can’t stop thinking of you, but you won’t choose me,

I knock, knock, knock and you won’t answer, you won’t choose me,

I just want to tell you that I paid your ransom but you won’t choose me

What more can I do to get through to you

You just don’t realize for you I suffered and died

To prove, I love you.”

This song hits me between the eyes every time.  In fact, I get teased some because I cry almost every time I hear it.  The simple Gospel is that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us.  Since that is the case, why is it that many people choose to reject the things of God, His Word, His guidance, His pursuit of them to follow their own sinful desires?  I mean honestly it had me examining myself to see in what areas I reject the things of God.  

At times, I think it is very easy to reject God and not even know you are doing it, but what I have been saddened by recently is that there are some who willingly choose to reject God’s commands.  Often this is because God’s commands keep them from pursuing what they think they want.  Following God is simply not what they want to do.  Some of the rationalizations are as follows:

• It’s okay to violate God’s commands because I am tired of my life the way it is.
• God can’t really expect this of me because it goes against the grain of what society thinks is acceptable.
• I want to party, live it up gratify my evil selfish desires, after all, God wants me to be happy. Right?

Whatever happened to following God’s commands and honoring Him no matter what our desires are?  I realize it is hard to follow God at times; however, it is the way we show him that we love him.  The Bible says in John 14:15, “If you love me you will keep My commandments.”  We show our love to God by keeping His commandments.  So if we don’t keep His commandments, then we love something or someone else more.

My heart breaks because as I reflect I have realized that many - NOT ALL - but many of the situations I encounter on a day-to-day basis stem from choices being made to gratify self, turning away from God’s commandments and the promises He makes to us as believers in His Word.  The other heart breaker is that there are some that God is chasing and pursuing, yet the response given is to ignore Him.  Flat out reject and ignore Him.  Many wonder why, while they have exchanged the truth of God for a lie, they are living a miserable life.  Often God’s best is given up for insanity- repeated cycles of un-health that do not stop and contain one defeat after another, powerless living instead of powerful ability to live out the calling Jesus has on each of our lives.

The sad part of all of this is that there are consequences for these choices both in the here and now and in eternity.  Often times we are in a mess because of our own choices.  While in the mess we choose to reject God’s commands, making the situation worse or more complex.  It’s frustrating to watch and realize that we each have free will and make our own choices.  God can and wants to help us make the right choices. “He wants to give you power from on high but we don’t choose Him.”

It’s time to reflect on where we are in this.  So where are you?  Are there areas in your life or mine that we reject God?  Are there those around us that are choosing the world’s view or their own sinful desires over God’s desires and commands?  Does it break our heart?  Do we pray for them?  Do we prayerfully confront sin?  The Gospel of Jesus Christ is alive and well, giving power to all that believe.  So let’s live like our lives and others depend on it!

“Choose Me” copyright Dana R. Isles 2011

Confessions of a Serial Procrastinator

I’m sitting here at my desk at home on what feels like our hundredth snow day. A teacher’s work is never done, and I have a pile of papers to grade and lessons to finalize.  

I’ll probably do pretty much none of it today. Ok, I’ll finish my lesson plans because they are due tomorrow morning. But the stuff that doesn’t HAVE to be done now? That’s another story.

Procrastination has been the story of my life. My time management skills are awful and have been since childhood. I don’t want to be this inefficient, but it always seems to just happen that way. I have had a million resolutions swearing that I will be better next time. I will have a plan in place. I will be self-disciplined. I WILL DO BETTER. I WILL.

Then comes the inevitable failure and the self-shaming. You said you could do better, Nancy, and you have FAILED. Again. Just like you always do. 

I know that I am not alone in this mindset. Self-defeating inner dialogue is a part of many of our lives. Pastor Greg pointed it out in Sunday’s sermon about King Saul. A lot of us spend our lives feeling “small” and gathering evidence that our perceptions of ourselves are true.

The question of identity is an easy one to speak and a hard one to follow. I’ve been able to say that my identity is rooted in Christ for what seems like forever, but have I really LIVED that way?  When so much of my life is rooted in thinking about where I fall short, I’m not thinking as a daughter of the almighty God. I’m centered on me, me, and more me, not my Father. I am happy or sad based on what I am doing right or doing wrong. It has nothing to do with God. I’m giving the right answers but not living them.

The utter selfishness of the sin nature always wants to rear its ugly head, no matter how much we claim to know differently that it isn’t about us. We have Good News; the Creator of the Universe has redeemed and adopted us as His! But that Truth gets lost in the day to day self-chatter of all the control we think we should have in our lives. Absolute beauty gets lost in the petty ugliness of the human mind.  

Actually saying and knowing you are adopted as a son or daughter of God takes a daily, systematic fight against wrong thinking. Prayer, Scripture, Community, Counseling…all are great tools to battle wrong mindsets. But it is a daily, lifelong process, one that ebbs and flows. Rooting identity where it belongs is ongoing. 

My habits of procrastination are far from cured. But I can stop thinking about them as reflections of my worth.  They aren’t. I am not my habits, flaws, failures; I am a daughter of the King.

Nancy Vasquez

Why I Love the "Magic" of Lent

As strange as it sounds, when it comes to things that come around every year, the Lenten season is my favorite. I get excited about Lent the way kids feel about Christmas and the coming of Santa Claus. My senses tingle with anticipation. It feels magical.

I don't embrace Lent because it's religious or because I have to. Sometimes Lent is only seen as part of a list of rules that need to be followed and I just don’t see the point of that. I see Lent as an opportunity and you certainly don’t have to take it.

How I experience Lent changes year to year and I usually decide based on what I've been noticing God doing in my life. 

Sometimes Lent is about me adding something to my life: more time meditating on God’s word, more time with community, etc.

Sometimes it's about sacrifice that will remind me to turn to God instead. For example, if I give up caffeine, I have an opportunity to remember Jesus and that He is all I really need every time I crave a cup of coffee (that really is just an example, I haven’t been brave enough to try it.) 

Sometimes I sacrifice because even something that can be good has become too big in my life and I need to take a step back. This is usually the most difficult for me because it touches on things like social media or how I spend my money.

The bottom line is giving Jesus some extra elbowroom. I want more space in my life for Jesus to move, to speak and to shake out what shouldn’t be there. 

One year in college I gave up Facebook for Lent because I recognized it was taking up a lot of my time. A couple weeks later I broke my fast just to make sure a guy had my phone number. Now if Lent is about rules and only rules then I broke my fast and I’m a failure and that’s the end of that. But I love the idea of Lent being an opportunity for Jesus to clean house. I’m so thankful I broke my fast because it opened my eyes to a much bigger area of sin and control in my life- needing people to tell me what I’m worth.

I get so excited about Lent has the potential to tangibly display the essence of the Gospel- that Jesus doesn’t get boxed into only fixing what we think needs fixed. Jesus isn’t limited to whatever I think I need. Lent is just me taking a step in the right direction, making my own minuscule attempt and having faith that Jesus will do so much more. 

By the way, what I said earlier about Lent feeling “magical”? That might not be the right word but “Holy” definitely is. Lent is all about the anticipation of Easter- reminding us that Jesus came to earth and changed everything and He’s promised to come back. Why not start the celebration early?!

Jessica Noblett

KAAABOOOM!! The Battle Against Hopelessness

(By Lois Robinson)

This time of year causes folks to experience higher levels of hopelessness, depression and suicide than any other time of year. After the holidays are over, days are shorter, nights are longer, and the snow, rain and sleet keep falling. With those dynamics comes a heaviness that is not easily lifted. Some try new patterns of healthy living to deal with the “blues,” which is always a recommendation. While others, on the other hand, take the unhealthy route of engaging in sinful patterns to relieve the emptiness.  The latter route would be called finding a “simple solution” to a complex problem, thus leading to a more complex problem. The enemy loves when God’s people do that. The byproduct from this behavior is hopelessness, which can lead us down a very destructive road.

I wanted to offer some helpful recommendations that will hopefully help you avoid the pitfalls of hopelessness. 

1.  BIBLE VERSES WRITTEN ON 3X5 INDEX CARDS - 

This practice is so powerful. The bible says, “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” Psalm 119:11

Get in touch with the feeling(s) you have. You may get thoughts and feelings confused. A feeling is one word. An example:  “I feel ...happy, sad, rejected, abandoned, scared, excited, angry, lonely.

A thought, on the other hand, is a string of words. An example: “I feel sad because I wanted to go to my TFL class but another storm came!   (Feeling)    (Thought)

When you SERIOUSLY begin to learn scripture AND BELIEVE IT TO BE TRUE :), it WILL change your life. It doesn’t work like magic and fix everything in that moment just because you read a scripture, memorized it or even spoke it out. I have learned that I have to repeat it over and over again, because I am literally battling my flesh to come under the Authority of the Word of God.  In an anxiety ridden moment for me, I have had to sit and repeat a scripture regarding fear for 30 minutes or so until my mind believed what God’s word says over what my mind is believed at the time, thus producing all the anxiety! It is not a quick fix, friends. I have learned that deep down my flesh has trouble bowing to the Truth of God. My natural tendency is to see reality through MY eyes and believe it, which caused fear and anxiety. Oh God save me!

2.  VERSES HANGING IN STRATEGIC PLACES : HOME, WORK, CAR, COMPUTER, TV, FRIDGE:

This is another weapon of warfare that can change the atmosphere of your environment. I find that I need a daily reminder of who God says He is and who God says I am, as I work, play, read, watch TV, rest and the list goes on. The same principle applies though: you must believe what the scripture is saying. You cannot just read it like it is the right thing to do and God will then somehow change it all. He desires you to trust and believe He is telling you the truth. When you practice believing and resting in His truths, things really do begin to change, whether in your circumstances or in your heart!

3. PRAISE AND WORSHIP MUSIC: THE SHOUT!

As one of my favorite worship leaders, Darlene Zschech says in her book Extravagant Worship, “A shout commands attention. A shout is prophetic and faith building; a shout calls things that are not as though they were. A shout demonstrates enthusiasm, confidence, and determination. A shout releases energy, boldness, and passion. A shout changes the atmosphere. God’s word tells us to shout. “Shout to God with the voice of triumph and songs of joy!” (Psalm 47:1) She goes on to say, “When I am leading worship, I don’t shout to get people excited or “hyped up”. When I shout, I am encouraging people to put action to their faith.”

Amen and Hallelujah! Friends, someone told me that sometimes your healing is locked up in your praise. I believe it and have experienced deep healing in my life, mind and soul because of praise and worship. Scripture is loaded with events of people giving their praise, worship and surrender to Jesus and then experiencing healing. When Paul was thrown into prison, the bible tells us he prayed, praised and witnessed, the earthquake came and the chains fell off. Let’s learn to practice these weapons of warfare! Amen

Heart Checklist

I spent some time this week trying to look over my heart and sort of take stock. It’s easy for me to get caught up in what I hear, or think I hear, God saying in the moment so I think it’s important to step back every once in awhile and look at the big picture. (Actually, it’s probably important to that more than every once in awhile.)

Here’s what came up: I am most consistently convicted about the way I spend my time and the way I use my words. 

Honestly, that’s nothing new. It’s sort of like running through a checklist of things I’m still bad at. It’s roll call and we’re all still present. 

“I want to be a person who loves well. But that doesn’t start the way I often think it does.”

This time, however, I started connecting the dots in a way I don’t think I have before.

I tend to spend my time pretty selfishly and the thing is, my time is not all about me. I guess it’s not really “my” time at all. Because I know from experience that love changes everything and a first step to loving someone is making time for them. It’s like we’re biologically incapable of not responding to that kind of love. When someone doesn’t just tell you, but shows you that you’re important, it changes you. Everyone wants to be loved, appreciated and accepted and we all respond to attention. 

My time is about loving people well but I think my words are linked to something deeper inside: being a person capable of loving people well. After all, from the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.

What I’m realizing is that the role of the Gospel in my life isn’t mostly about me pointing other people to it. It’s easy for me to try to simplify the Gospel into “salvation” or even me living my life in ways that show other people who Jesus is. But I’m still in the middle of my own redemptive process of letting the Gospel change my life too.
I know that sounds a lot like textbook Sunday School recitation but the practical implications are huge. It means submitting my heart to Jesus’ total redemption because without it I’m no good to anyone.

I’ve been thinking lately about 1 Corinthians 10:23 where Paul says, “’All things are lawful’ but not all things are helpful.” (ESV) 

Okay, fine, that makes sense but I like this version better from the Message: "Looking at it one way, you could say, 'Anything goes. Because of God’s immense generosity and grace, we don’t have to dissect and scrutinize every action to see if it will pass muster.' But the point it not just to get by. We want to live well, but our foremost efforts should be to help others live well."

That comes down like a hammer in my life. Hard. So often I just want to get by. I want to take advantage of God’s grace and take a sick day. Honestly, it’s especially true when it comes to the words I use. It’s so easy for me to shrug it off with a “there’s grace for that” attitude. And there is. But that isn’t the point. To once again, quote C.S. Lewis, “(I) thought (I was) going to be made into a decent little cottage, but He is building a palace.”

Every time I try to halt construction because I think it isn’t a big deal, it doesn’t give me more time or ability to love someone else. I’m just as inept as ever. 

I want to be a person who loves well. But that doesn’t start the way I often think it does- by managing my time or biting my tongue or any other number of actions. It starts exactly where I don’t want to look, my own heart. 

Jessica Noblett

I Want Friends, But I am also Needy

Dr. Mike Emlet, from CCEF, offers a helpful insight when it comes to approaching relationships and the guilt that may come when we realize we bring needs to the table. 

The Sweetest Words

Valentine’s Day was this past weekend, and I hope we all had loving messages from folks we care for. But the sweetest words I ever read were not on a Hallmark card or a candy box. Not on a card tucked in among roses, but in my Bible. Just two words: “But God..”

I don’t think anyone can really get to know God without reading and rereading the Old Testament. That’s where we see what God actually SAID, and what He DID, and His very character is unfolded before us. Even the long lists of strange names and the big numbers serve to show us the magnitude and magnificence of His works!  I know that I could never get to know God just through my own experiences. It would be too easy to substitute my wishes for His, and ascribe my opinions to Him. Too easy to pick the traits I love, and downplay the ones that are hard, like sure justice, and then to build myself a God who suits me. 

And those words, “But God” show us, over and over, the times when God stepped in and changed the way things are going.

So often we seem to be like a toy train that goes too fast or hits another toy, and jumps the track. We need a big Hand which can reach down, remove the hindrance, set us back squarely on the track and get us going again in the right direction. And because we know that God never changes, we can be very sure that He is watching over us now just as He did then, and doing His “But God” thing to save us from who knows what! Sometimes in life we can look back and see how God intervened and did what only He could have done, but most of the time we are probably blissfully unaware.

That is our God, loving us. And the best “But God” of all, Ephesians 2:

“Once you were dead because of your many sins….. BUT GOD is so rich in mercy, and He loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, He gave us life when He raised Christ from the dead. It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!”

Surely the greatest manifestation of love in all of time, past, present and beyond!

Norma Stockton

Free to Love

(By Thor Knutstad)

Being free to love provides the power to appeal to strong satisfactions. Focus more on loving others well rather than resisting temptation. The fruits of holiness are visible with more freedom to love, so make every effort to love more, not sin less. You are free to love. Gospel freedom means that I neither indulge my whims nor keep my rules. Whim - indulgers and rule keepers are slaves to the corruption within them that demands a kind of self-satisfaction [unto works and performance]. Christ has, through the cross, set us free to love.

The world's compulsive need to feel whole and complete is a lie. It screams of a preoccupation with satisfaction and makes you want relief from feelings of pain and brokenness. We were designed for purity and for the peace of Shalom. The cross and resurrection are leading us there. But it is not yet realized. In the meantime, walk in the freedom to love. Yes, walk holy - but an over focus on sin and struggles will reduce the power of the Gospel in your life. Yes, confess. Repent. And make loving others
well your only deep satisfaction. For it is there that truth will set you free.

---

Video Resource for Everyday Gospel Series

Much of the content for the Everyday Gospel series has been inspired by the work of Pete & Geri Scazzero. Check out their story. 

Your Love, The Love I Know.

(By Diego Cuartas)

It was last year, around this time, when I was reflecting on the birthday gifts God had given me through so many people. I was prompted then to write some thoughts, which eventually became a song composition. Don't ask me to sing it, just read the words. And perhaps it is your turn to reflect on how much you are loved by the one who formed you. The Bible (Psalm 139:14) gives us a glimpse of what went into your creation and mine. Sit back and allow the words on this timeless passage to run through you and help you recognize how much purpose (intention) God has placed in the creation of you...

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well."

Your Love, The Love I Know.

No contradiction, in your love

No confusion, you are all love.

I may feel like your hand is against me

I may see the clouds gather all around

yet I hear a voice peaking through the darkness saying that  I'm yours.

I see the pattern, that in pain

My heart is tender to receive.

Consuming fire

Consuming fire

Consuming fire

Your love is what I know.

God Has Led, So Here I Go!

(By Lois Robinson)

God laid something on my heart in early November and has not released me of it. I have asked Him whether this is a blog entry or not, and His answer is Yes. So here goes...

 I don’t know about you, but I heard so many conversations, remarks and dialogue about the decisions made by many retail stores to open on Thanksgiving Day for shopping this past year.  They were staying open longer and longer, even around the clock in some cases. I saw pictures on Facebook of pup tents set up outside of Best Buy in order to get the “best buy” AS SOON AS IT OPENS! Frustrated, angry conversations would ensue about it, voicing concern to the department stores who were so ridiculous to be open for business about the people who had to work and deserve to be with their families. I heard ENOUGH IS ENOUGH many times. “What is this world coming to” was another. One population of people up in arms about the retail decisions but rarely do anything about it, one population that loved it so they can shop and spend more, another maybe happy to get the extra money working to pay the light bill, whereas another one may resent that they had to work. And finally, another population did not care either way, quite apathetic to the entire issue. It doesn’t affect them either way so who cares. 

God raised up something inside me while I listened and observed. It went something like this: We are such a superficial people. Listen to us. Complaining, angry, confused. Talking, talking, talking about the injustices of the retail store hours on Thanksgiving. Oh God, if we would only get this fired up about the things that break your heart like we get fired up about the “SHOPPING CENTER HOURS,” we would really make a difference in this sin-sick world. If we, God’s people would rise up against  child, elder, spouse abuse, the homeless, poverty, gang violence, sex trafficking and sleeping churches who are called to be ambassadors of Jesus Christ, injustice, kids who are dying and no one cares, other countries that don’t know Jesus and no one cares, Christian marriages that are deadly but other Christians say stay in it even if it kills you, misuse of the Word of God, teens cutting themselves to pieces, girls and boys starving themselves to death (literally to death), grade school children in deep depression to the point of suicide, children having sexual addictions, drug addictions, alcohol addictions and the list goes on and on. 

Ask yourself- On a scale of 1-10, how angry do you get about those things mentioned above? You may find that you do not think about them much at all. If you find that that is the case, I want to remind you of a truth:

God desires to Raise UP a People for HIS NAME, HIS PRAISE AND HIS GLORY!!!

God has called us to walk out our purposes in the authority of our King Jesus, empowered by the Holy Spirit, bringing glimpses of His Kingdom into areas of darkness. Oh, may we be a people that rise up to be ambassadors of the light! 

I have been reading through the Book of Acts, describing how Stephen, Peter and the disciples pray and then GO OUT! They got their marching orders straight from God through the person of the Holy Spirit and went out! Amen! People were healed, demons were cast out; they became disciples of Jesus Christ. 

In the Powerful name of Jesus, let us grow emotionally and spiritually mature.  We must begin to cry out to our Father, “Break our hearts for what breaks yours” as the Mercy Me songs so well says. Let us not continue to be blinded by our own agendas and hardness of hearts.      

Challenge: What is God’s unique, one-of-a-kind design on your life? You do have one, and you cannot escape it just because you weren’t raised in a healthy home, weren’t raised in a Christian home and the list goes on and on.

I would encourage you to dive into Scripture, check out the early church in Acts. Stay tuned into Pastor Nate’s sermon series. Let’s all become the Church we are called to be! 

Amen and Hallelujah, the Highest Praise.

It’s NOT up to me?

I’ve recently been having some startling revelations the way I tend to think. I first noticed it the other day in a kind of silly situation, when my husband was invited to play in a pick-up game of soccer. It was a busy day for our family, and we had a lot going on with our two kids, so he decided to turn down the invitation and not go. I could not handle him missing the opportunity to have some fun! So I started offering all kinds of solutions for how we could make it work. I listed at least 20 different solutions that would allow him to go, but instead of getting excited about these ideas, my husband ended up getting more and more annoyed. His annoyance, in turn, made me annoyed. I thought my ideas were great solutions and I couldn’t understand why they would bother him!

As we talked out our conflict for a few minutes, we realized that it bothered him that I kept offering ideas after he had made his decision. I realized that I was doing this because I felt responsible for my husband’s happiness. I thought that if I didn’t make it work for him to go to the game, if I didn’t solve our problem, that he wouldn’t be happy. And I felt that his lack of happiness would be entirely my fault. In my mind, it all depended on me. 

So moving on from that little soccer situation, I started noticing lots of other areas where I tend to think that everything depends on me. It has surprised me that I tend to think that a lot, and one of the areas I’ve been noticing it is in my relationship with God. 

For example, the other day I was just doing my usual stay-at-home-mom thing, mopping my floor, blasting some music. A song came on called Take My Life, and as I listened to it, I started feeling a combination of defensiveness and shame. 

Take my life and let it be
consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days,
let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands and let them move
at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet and let them be
swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice and let me sing
always, only for my King.
Take my lips and let them be
filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold
not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect and use
every power as You choose.

Here am I, all of me.
Take my life, it's all for Thee.

As I listened to the lyrics, I wondered how anyone with integrity could have even written it. “‘Ceaseless praise? Always…only…for my King? Not a mite would I withhold? All of me, it’s all for Thee?’ Well, there’s not a chance that I’ve lived up to that standard,” I thought. I wanted to just move on to the next song and forget that I had even heard it. I knew my life didn’t line up with those lyrics. I knew that there are so many places of my heart that don’t belong completely to God, and I felt shame. 

But as I continued mopping, something BEAUTIFUL happened in my heart as I listened to that song. All of the sudden, I realized that I was looking at it all wrong. I was feeling like it was up to me to love God enough, to make my life be completely for God, all the time. I felt that it all depended on me.

God spoke to my heart then. He told me that it’s NOT all up to me. He reminded me that a huge purpose of His command to ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength’ is to give me a standard that is so high, that I actually CANNOT reach it on my own. He wants me to realize my need for Jesus, my need to be saved, that not up to me to perfect my life. The Good News of the Gospel is that God Himself, with all the resources of heaven, is committed to developing His life in me. He’s determined to purify me, to give me an undivided heart, to make me like Jesus. 

Wow. With that chance of perspective, I suddenly felt rest, instead of shame. I even wanted to keep listening to that song, and to worship, instead of skipping on to the next. Instead of hiding, I wanted to show up before God, to use my strength to thank God for using all His strength, to make me His alone.

I’m so thankful that everything does not depend on me. I don’t have what it takes to make my husband happy all the time, let alone make my heart belong to God alone. What I can do, though, is let me husband decide if he wants to work out a chance to play soccer or not, and as I do my part to need God, I can let God do His part of working out His plan for me to love Him wholly. And that sounds like a much better idea to me. 

Sarah Howard

Amateur Lovers

Never have I been more sure of anything than when I was a teenager in love. Try as I might to pretend those many, many years of awkwardness and regrettable haircuts never really happened, there are some memories that you can’t forget: first crushes, first dates, first kisses and all that. She’s the one, I’d secretly tell myself. Then of course I’d come to find she was most definitely not the one, and I’d move on to the next crush. She’s the one, I’d tell myself again. It’s all I can do to keep myself from pulling out my old journals and writing “Diary Of A Moron” across every cover. But hey, at that stage of my life I was still forgetting to zip up my fly from time to time. I think we can agree that nobody expects teenagers to be experts on love.

Today I am mere months away from getting married to someone who thankfully did not know me during said awkward phase of my life, and thankfully I’ve learned a thing or two about love since then. But when I turn my thoughts to the church and the life of the Body, I’m alarmed by how many Christians seem to wield a similar attitude towards their relationship with God. At one point they had a passion and a zeal for the Kingdom, but at some point it just tapered off. Following God didn’t turn out to be what they had originally thought. Nobody said there would be lows as low as they’ve experienced when they were being prayed for at the alter after the service. No one seemed to mention the constant diligence that would be required in order to keep from falling back into old patterns of sin. They had a great first date with God, but it’s almost as if He forgot to call them back.

*  *  *  *  *

In Tim Keller’s The Meaning of Marriage (which I would highly, highly recommend you pick up), Keller tells a short story to explain how his feelings towards his wife have changed over time:

“When [my wife] Kathy first held my hand, it was an almost electrical thrill. Thirty-seven years later, you don’t get the same buzz out of holding your wife’s hand that you did the first time. But as I look back on that initial sensation, I realize that it came not so much from the magnitude of my love for her but from the flattery of her choice of me. In the beginning it goes to your head, and there is some love in that, but…there is no comparison between that and what it means to hold Kathy’s hand now, after all we’ve been through.”

You probably don’t need thirty-seven years of marriage to know Keller’s spot on here. Anyone who’s been in any sort of relationship knows that feelings between two people wane from time to time. Your best friends right now are the ones who’ve stuck around, not the ones who were simply the most fun when you met. Those friendships have changed and evolved over time, and my guess is you’d say they are more precious to you today than they were at their inception. Love grew in a place where love didn’t exist before.

Assuming for a moment we all affirm this to be true…why then do we so often come to God expecting the same electricity we felt at the beginning, when we first came to know Him? It seems that too many of us never move beyond this initial stage of relationship with the Father. We get caught up in the flattery of having been chosen by God, and the beauty of election becomes little more than a gust of ego gratification for our souls; we cheapen God’s grace because we’ve fallen in love with a feeling rather than a promise. In effect, we become amateur lovers, stuck in a moment we can’t get out of, trying to recapture the magic of our youth when the wild, uncharted territory of maturity awaits us.

This is what coming to know God is like. At first we are overwhelmed by the majesty and beauty of grace, and we feel as though we have lightning pulsing through our veins. Eventually, though, we come to find that these emotions were the spiritual equivalent of puppy love: certainly real enough to us, but lacking the substance that characterizes true love. And certainly there is a time and place for infatuation in relationship. But at some point, that feeling is set aside for an even bigger prize. Love longs to go deeper, not to recapture a feeling and feel it forever. This is mature love, and it is the kind of love our Father harbors for us and invites us to partake in.

Don’t settle for one date with God. Better yet, don’t let your feelings dictate how you go about your day! This Gospel is too important to be passed over because we found it too difficult for our liking. Press into God today, and watch what He does next.

Dominick Baruffi

"Single Parenting - Situation not Identity"

(By Thor Knutstad)

Single parents today, in unprecedented numbers, are in a very complex situation.  They are trying to raise their children within a complicated and competing system of authorities and influences.  Most (not all) were once, so they thought, defined as a "married parent."  But that is exactly where there is an "identity gap."  Single parenthood is your situation, not your identity.  When I lean on identity, my situation will always control me.  When I accept the stark reality of situational context, I can live in context and not in the false notion of identity context. Let me repeat myself here for emphasis and effect.  Single parenting is my SITUATION and NOT MY IDENTITY.  Let me explain.

I am the father of my sons.  I am not the father and the mother to my children.  I can't be, nor should I attempt to be both.  To try to be both is NOT God's design.  God does not expect double effort from me to compensate for what is missing or has been missed.  I cannot do the work of two people, though often it feels very much like this.  I have a ministry to my children.  It is my job to physically provide for and emotionally care for them.  I must provide verbal instruction and sometimes even physical discipline.  I must model a dependence on Christ, pray with and for them and do all these in the context of loving well. I must push them to excellence as they pursue God and this calling and as He pursues them.  I must forgive their sin(s), but I cannot allow their hurt, pain and brokenness to be their identity - I must teach them that is their situation - a consequence of brokenness, of sin and of living in a world full of evil that God is restoring and redeeming.

You see, this situation is NOT their excuse.  Single parents, do not lose sight of your child's responsibility to love, trust and obey God, despite their unpleasant circumstances.  A broken home does not excuse unbelief, rebellion, ingratitude, disobedience, disrespect, angry words or idolatry.  Let me repeat myself. Their situation is NEVER an excuse for bad behavior or disobedience.   Do not doom them because of what has happened.  They are not victims or byproducts of a broken relationship.  They are a part of God's design of learning to live in a broken world that is sometimes a product of a lot of sin, or a lot of being sinned against.  If you do not understand the situation of where you live every day, you will live in a confusing context of hating the messy reality.  Do good.  Love well.  Embrace your reality.  Don't walk in the fear that pushes back the power of loving your sinful child well.  Your God is transforming them too.  Admit that they are more like you than unlike you and that they are more like the other parent too than you sometimes want to admit.  Yes, I just said that.  Your child is MORE LIKE YOU than unlike you.  Humbling moment? Hmm...

Don't let single parenting pressures drive you to anger and self-absorption.  Instead, walk in a quiet confidence of humility that deals with their hearts as ever moving targets in a world full of sin and conflict.  Teach them to love God and their neighbor well.  Show confident respect toward their mom or dad and encourage your kids to do the same, even if that is not done for you in a reciprocal way.  As you model Christ-likeness in your situation, entrust them to God's care.  Let your kids see the aspects of reality in that former relationship sometimes - it is not your job to protect them from the other person's sin, the truth or consequences thereof.  Silence and appropriate withdrawal from that person (your ex) is sometimes quite appropriate, and even wise, and your kids will see it unfold.  Their eyes cannot be covered from the reality of the situation.  Sure, you want to pursue a positive relationship with that person as best as is able on your behalf, but sometimes it is this very lack of unity that causes war.  Needless to say, show humility, foster confidence, confront as often but as necessary, show mercy and control your body language and your tongue's words with that person.  Your responsibility to love your enemy doesn't escape even the most broken relationship.  Yet to walk in wisdom will not always mean being as innocent as doves and lambs; sometimes it will mean being as shrewd as a snake and as clever as a fox.  I'm only quoting our Lord, but we have to know the difference.  There is a season for everything.

I also encourage getting the help of family, other believers and your local church to help bear the burden of a single family.  The impact and assistance and the fellowship of others is paramount to you and your kids.  As previously stated, single parenting is not my identity any more than being married is or was.  It is my situation.  It is my context.  And as your journey unfolds in the pathways of time and moments, may the complex burden of single parenthood be a lighter burden to you.  If your family is still intact, praise God.  But this article is still for you.  Hear my counsel here.  Love well those under the yoke of situational single parenting.  Their task is heavy and their burden is not light.  Many did not choose to be here - someone else abandoned them or created this difficult context.  Sin's destruction always plays a part in getting people to places they would rather not be.  I once said to my friend Al about my situation, "You'd tremble if you were me."  His gentle and wise reply looking me straight in the eye was, "You're right."  True, but our sovereign God (read Acts 17) has designed a journey - a better one - one where suffering always leads to joy.  And this applies to you and your children as well.  God is leading them to greater joy.  Praise Him."

Relationships: A Stumbling Block or a Stepping Stone to Abiding in Christ?

(By Diego Cuartas)

Recently out of my own personal struggles in relationships, God has brought me to a point of “crisis of belief”, as Henry Blackaby would call it. My point of crisis came as I realized a couple of days ago how reluctant I have been to admit some relational disappointments. I am so thankful for the loving perseverance of my wife and her godly counsel to me. My conversation with her took place on Sunday night. The next day as I was working out and deciding what to meditate on, God led me--as He has many other times--to read the first letter of John. I am so thankful God spoke to me. What became evident to me through my reading is that how I relate to others plays a big part in how well I “abide” in Christ. Put differently, how I relate to others impacts how I relate to God. My relationships can either become a stumbling block or a stepping stone to abiding in Christ.

In verses 5-10 of chapter 1, John indicates that fellowship with God is directly linked to me walking in the “light” instead of hiding or pursuing the promises that any “darkness” offers. John says that when we walk in the light we are positioned to have fellowship with God and also with one another. Darkness hinders fellowship with God and other people. The beautiful thing is that when I choose to walk in the light I can be a beneficiary of all that Christ offers to sinners like me. In Him I can receive forgiveness and a cleansing of the things that are not aligned with His purpose and design for me. The alternative for relating this way to God and others is to pretend or live life as if I was not a sinner, someone who has fallen short of God’s expectations and unable to help myself. This alternative, according to John, makes me (or anyone) a liar. Thank God there is hope for us--the first verses in chapter 2 show how Jesus can very efficiently advocate for us before God the Father. Jesus makes my abiding in Him a real possibility!

Furthermore, in verses 7-11 of chapter 2, John offers a very relational perspective for us to consider. He teaches that the disposition of my heart toward others will result in a “stumbling block” in my life when instead of loving others I choose to hate them. Hate can be understood as an aversion or hostility toward another person. And hating, according to John will keep a person in bondage to darkness. Darkness, says John, not only blinds me to others but it keeps me walking in the dark. This darkness that hinders relationship hinders in turn my abiding in Christ. In chapter 3 verse 24, John emphasizes this truth in the following way: “Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God and God in him.” 

Relationships can be a stumbling block to our abiding in Christ if we do them in our sinful ways or if they keep us far from obeying God’s commandments. The messiness that is revealed in relationships can point us to our need of a Savior, our need of an advocate and our need of a Healer. Apart from the love and mercy of God we can’t love others well.

So how am I to treat other sinners, especially those who cause me pain and disappointment? The answer is simple and profound: the same way God has treated you! Take a moment to allow the following statements from John Piper (Good News of Great Joy: Daily Readings for Advent, page 36) to give you a renewed perspective:

How shall a holy and just God treat us sinners with so much kindness as to give us the greatest reality in the universe (his Son) to enjoy with the greatest joy possible? The answer is that God put our sins on his Son, and judged them there, so that he could put them out of his mind, and deal with us mercifully and remain just and holy at the same time. Hebrews 9:28 says, “Christ was offered once to bear the sins of many.” Christ bore our sins in his own body when he died. He took our judgment. He canceled our guilt. And that means the sins are gone. They do not remain in God’s mind as a basis for condemnation. In that sense, he “forgets” them. They are consumed in the death of Christ. Which means that God is now free, in his justice, to lavish us with the new covenant. He gives us Christ, the greatest Reality in the universe, for our enjoyment. And he writes his own will—his own heart—on our hearts so that we can love Christ and trust Christ and follow Christ from the inside out, with freedom and joy.

Obviously, we are to treat others mercifully as we have been treated mercifully. The basis for such mercy is what God has done in Christ. He alone can call our sins into judgment. We are not the judge of others’ sins; He alone is. It is amazing that both the authority for judgment and hope for redemption rest in God. As long as I hold others through the lenses of my judgment I will not be free to lavish love on them. And as long as I hope in their ability to change, I will miss trusting in what God alone can do in them.

For thought:

• Which relationships presently help you abide in Christ? Which ones do not?
• How are you relating to others? Is the way you relate keeping you in the dark or in the light?
• Have you experienced the mercy of God? How is his mercy impacting the way you relate to others?

Simple Gifts for the Grieving

As we ended the Week of Prayer and meditated on our missions for 2014, I kept trying to come up with a Big Plan or Big Declaration or Big Mission. What I kept getting as I prayed was one word: Simplicity. The most important gifts we can give are often the simplest.

I've been blessed with many kindnesses over the past year as I've experienced the death of a parent. Some of the most heartwarming help has come from things that require neither large amounts of money or time.

Some background: Overall, our American church culture does a terrible job at caring for the grieving. I’ve been researching this topic a lot lately, as it has touched my life in deep ways. What I have found is pretty discouraging. Many people suffering from profound loss often feel isolated and abandoned after the initial surge of sympathy and support. Because American culture centers on the “can do” spirit, the grieving feel they have to pick themselves up and go on as normal even when the world has caved in around them.

Grieving can be from so many things: loss from death, separation and divorce, relationship breakdowns with family and friends. I would like to suggest from firsthand experience some simple ways you can give to grieving people in your life this year: 

I challenge you this year to reach out to someone who is grieving. Even the simplest things help heal hearts within the Body of Christ. 

• Communicate, communicate, communicate. Talk to the grieving. Let them know you're thinking about them. This doesn't have to mean hours of deep conversation and meaningful advice. There's a time and place for that, but a simple text message, quick e-mail, Facebook message, or even "snail mail" note can make someone feel they're not alone in their pain.

• Think long term. Don't forget your grieving friends after the initial crisis has passed. Grief is a long process that ebbs and flows. Again, you do not need to do anything "huge." Just being remembered is a gift.

• Share your own story of grieving and how you have dealt with it. My research is split on this, since grief is so highly personal that no two experiences are the same, and some don't feel that anyone can understand how they feel. In my personal experience, I have found it very comforting for people to share their stories of loss with me.

• Pray for the grieving. There is no more loving thing you can do for someone in pain than to lift them up to our Savior.

• Give the gift of Scripture. I love it when people share favorite verses or passages of comfort with me. On rough days, these nuggets of Truth give me something to hold on to in the storm.

• This also applies for favorite songs and hymns. Share them with your grieving friends. Music is a great emotional outlet and calming influence.

• If you knew the person who has died, share your memories with the grieving friends and family. Many people don't want to cause more pain and hesitate to talk about the person who is gone. Personally, I love for people who knew my mom to share their memories with me. It helps keep her memory alive.

Nancy Vasquez

Where Have You Seen Jesus?

This week at LFAC, we’re embarking on a ‘week of prayer’ together. If you’ve been tracking with the prayer guide for each day this week, you know that we’ve been learning about what the Church is supposed to be all about, what our defining characteristics are supposed to be as God’s people. The Day 2 reading talked about how we, as the Church, are being sent on a mission by Jesus Himself, to proclaim the Good News of the Gospel.

There was a question included that I think is essential to consider and have an answer for if we’re going to be able to tell people about Jesus and His Gospel. The question said, “What have you seen of Jesus or what has Jesus done for you that would be good news to someone?”

That question is so important, because, if we have a firm grasp on the beauty of what Jesus has done in our lives, we can then look for other people who could use that same Good News and we can offer it to them. For example, my answer was that Jesus has done some deep healing in my heart in the area of my appearance: it’s taken many long years to come to believe that Jesus made me just the way I am in the way I look and that I’m beautiful. He’s also done some healing in the area of my identity, teaching me that I’m significant, that He likes the way I am, that He made me who I am on purpose. So just imagine, that as I combine identifying what Jesus has done for me and watching the people around me, I’ll bet I could see similar needs in other people. And how significant would it be for me to offer the Good News of Jesus’ healing in my life to someone else who feels what I’ve felt, that under all their smiles and attempts to cover up their real self, like they aren’t good enough, that they never measure up, that they hate the way they are? They need that same Good News that I’ve received.

So how about you?

I’d love to hear in the comment section ‘what you’ve seen of Jesus or what He’s done for you that would be good news to someone.’ Then let’s look together for those people that need to hear your good news…and let’s bring it to them!

Sarah Howard

A Time to Grieve and a Time to…

(By Tammy Vaughn)

Prime times for grieving a loss or death are during the holiday season, around the loved one’s birthday or the day of their passing.  So how do we face holiday grief?   Grief is the loss of a loved one or something important to you.  Grief could include the loss of an idea, item, animal, child or dream.  Grief may actually start before a person is deceased, especially in the case of terminal illness.  

I believe taking a self-inventory is a key concept around the area of grief; it is beneficial to examine yourself and identify feelings on how you are processing or not processing the loss.   You may be telling yourself things like,  “Stop making a big deal out of it” or “You should be over it by now” or “I can’t live without this person” or “I want to die too.” I think a key part of this is to evaluate what you think about your observations, self talk or thoughts.  You may miss your loved one terribly, and you may be feeling loss and sadness.  The flip side may also be true- maybe you recognize that the loved one is missing but feel relief or peace.  Maybe you don’t think of your loved one at all and feel guilty for not thinking of them.  It is important to remember that feelings are just feelings; they are not right or wrong, they are just your feelings.  We tend to place a lot of emphasis on how we feel when really it’s what you do with your feelings that is important.  Taking an honest inventory of how you’re doing throughout the grief process is very important.

Another key to dealing with grief is to find a healthy balance between remembering and honoring a person’s absence and perseverating or centering the entire rest of your life or holidays on their absence.  Being consumed by your loved one’s death or loss does not help you to live your life.   This may sound insensitive, but if God has still given you life, He has a purpose and plan for you.  It’s important to keep this in mind.  I encourage people to find a way to celebrate or acknowledge the person who you have lost without being totally consumed.  Some people are reluctant to even use the word “celebrate” because they feel that if you celebrate, you will forget your loved one.  Achieving a healthy balance is important; that way you are not swallowed up in grief and therefore miss making memories, enjoying other loved ones who are living or miss out on life in general.  I think processing feelings with close supportive friends, pastors and professional counselors is very helpful in working toward striking this balance.  Part of moving toward health is carrying on normal activities, realizing that you will be making “new normals”.  

Another key to grief recovery is to find support.  Let me say it again: find support. Grief Share, Celebrate Recovery, pastorate friends and professional counselors, etc.  Some things God never meant for us to go through or overcome by ourselves; grief is one of those things.  It is and will be tempting to isolate, wall off and stay to yourself because the pain is too intense or you don’t want to get hurt again. You may be tempted to not celebrate the holiday or to celebrate the holiday alone. Instead, find some supportive people, friends or coworkers and celebrate the best that you can.  Isolation makes the healing process harder and longer.  Being around people that care about you will in fact help your grief process.  Processing feelings with people you trust will help you to work through those feelings and gain the support you need to survive.  Remember that grief is more than just five stages, or steps, or hoops to jump through.  It can look like a ball of yarn. There is no time line to grief, and it can be experienced by everyone differently.  You can actually be stuck in stages, not really go through some of them and experience them out of order.  The fives stages of grief are denial, bargaining, depression, anger and acceptance. Remembering that everyone processes grief differently is helpful, realizing that   while you are on one stage, your spouse or children may be on a different stage.   The important thing to do is to acknowledge or experience your feelings when you have them.  Don’t try to shut grief feelings down, run from them or deny that you are having them.  Stuffed feelings always come out in ways and at times that you don’t want them to come out.  When you are grieving, often times you feel out of control and devastated.   One thing you can control is how you explore and express your feelings.  You will also feel empowered and begin to have a sense of hope as you identify and acknowledge the feelings you have.   Give yourself permission to grieve and to be happy.  The Bible in Ecclesiastes 3 reminds us that life has many seasons and cycles.  This passage gives us each hope that there is an end in sight.  Life will not always be this traumatic or painful.   

Take a minute to read this great reminder in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.  Take a deep breath and be encouraged!

    There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the  heavens:

    a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,

    a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,

    a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,

    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

    a time to embrace and a time to   refrain from embracing,

    a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away

    a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,

    a time to love and a time to hate,  a time for war and a time for peace.

Piper on Prayer

A brief, but powerful biblical explanation of how it is that God has determined that there are things that will only happen when we prayer. Listen to it to gain perspective on why we are having a LFA Week of Prayer.

This is the New Year

Every year ends pretty much the same way.  We take some time to reflect on the past twelve months.  We read lists of the “Best Albums of the Year,” or “The Year’s Top Celebrity Moments,” or “22 Greatest Food Fails of 2013.”  We are still feeling the effects of the holiday season, which may take the form of extra weight, extra debt, or an extended hangover.  Then, at the stroke of midnight on December 31st, we stop all this reflecting and move on to celebrating the future.  We set unrealistic goals.  We talk about how this year will be better than the last.  We trade our nostalgia for hope. 

New Years, much like graduations are about endings and beginnings.  They cause us to take stock of the events that have led us to where we are, survey the highlights and lowlights along the way, and look forward with anticipation of what the future holds.

 In the spirit of reflecting on the past and looking ahead to the future, Pastor Nate took some time this past Sunday to recap some of this year’s sermon series.  As we look back on messages past, truths are reaffirmed and we are reminded of the highlights.  As I listened to the sermon, I began to think about all the lessons I had learned over the past year.  

Sometimes, learning something new means changing something that you thought you knew.  We don’t like to admit that we believed something false.  In fact, when faced with some truth that confronts a long-held belief that we’ve comfortably settled into, our instinct is to challenge that truth and fight for our false saviors.  Learning can be painful and uncomfortable.  Some of the things I have learned over the past year were these hard-fought truths.  As I look forward to the year to come, I anticipate that more of the “truths” I hold onto now will be challenged.

Jeff Hyson

The Earth orbits the sun once every 365.25 days.  It has for as long as we can remember.  Still, every time it does, we celebrate.  We celebrate the past, and we look forward to the future.  This past year I’ve learned that God’s truths are truer than mine.  Do not be afraid to learn something new this year, even if it challenges a false “truth” in your life, because giving up something little to gain something big should be everyone’s New Year’s resolution.