To Face or Not to Face?

(By Tammy Vaughn)

I have been pondering the reasons that people choose to face their emotions or suppress their emotions.  I’ve listened to friends’ conversations and have noticed lately that many people suppress emotions and/or deny their feelings. People are generally proficient in talking about the facts of a particular situation but are not in touch with their feelings.  Instead, they choose not to delve into the emotional side of the situation.  It’s easier to talk about someone or something than take responsibility for how you feel.

Some may ask, “How do you know when a person is suppressing their feelings?”  I’ll answer the question with an example:  If someone calls an overweight individual “fat,” most likely it will cause some kind of negative reaction or feeling within the person targeted, whether that is embarrassment or hurt.  To say that it does not cause some kind of feeling is probably not likely or realistic.

There are times when a person does not realize that they are suppressing feelings.   This often happens when people do not take deep self-inventory.  They may be unwilling or unable to take the time to mine-out their deepest emotion.  Many people are fairly good at identifying happiness, sadness or anger.  However, that same group of people may not be so keen on identifying the varying intensity of their emotion.  For example, a more intense form of sadness could be depression.  A more intense form of anger is rage.  There are varying shades of basic emotions.

Some may deny that they are experiencing a particular kind of an emotion that is affecting them negatively.  This denial often happens because they feel embarrassed about the emotion.  They may feel like they are not entitled to feel the way they do.  Some people seem to be very concerned that if they give themselves permission to feel the emotion, they will not be able to actually deal with it.  According to James Gross, a scientist who studies emotions, “Suppressing emotions is hard to do and does not work.”  His studies have shown that once the emotion is triggered, it is very difficult to shut it down or ignore it. In fact, we become more tense and agitated while trying to suppress or ignore the feeling.  This shows that it is not emotionally healthy to suppress emotions.  Another negative implication of shutting off emotion is that people closest to us can tell we are suppressing our feelings; our non-verbal communication gives clues that we are hiding emotions, even when we insist on saying we’re fine.   In other words, in many cases we are not fooling anyone but ourselves.  This can actually do damage to the people we love; they end up feeling shut out because they know that we are experiencing feelings but are not willing to share them.

So, if it is not beneficial, what is the purpose of shutting down emotions?  What does a person hope to accomplish?  Often times, the person who shuts down or shuts off their emotions hopes that this action will make them appear to be strong in their vulnerable time of weakness.   This reminds me of the beautiful Bible verse that says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV)

Other times people hope that by suppressing their emotions they can calm themselves down or help defuse a delicate and/or explosive situation.  The person does not wish to cause waves or cause a fight.  It does not usually accomplish what they want.

Usually feelings that are stuffed down come out in ways we do not want and at times we do not want.   Often we handle stuffed feelings in ways that are not helpful to us.  Stuffed feelings can be motivators to very negative behaviors or habits like substance abuse, physical and/or verbal abuse, etc.  However, when we give voice to our emotions we actually give validation to how we are feeling.  We feel grounded and more in control.  Healthy discussions about your emotions is just that, healthy.  It actually helps to bring your feelings to the light, which makes you better able to identify and deal with the source of the emotion.  If you can recognize the emotion, you can deal with the emotion.  You can respond to the situation as opposed to just reacting like a puppet on a string or a slave to a master.  Have you ever met a person who is ruled by their emotions?  If they feel a certain way then they have to act a certain way, never realizing that they may be a slave to their “un-dealt with” emotions.  Galatians 4:6-8 says, “Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.”  So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.  Formerly, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those who by nature are not gods.”  Our emotion, while important and valid, are NOT God.  And we should not be a slave to them.

Many things we suppress are not able to be processed by ourselves because we are stuck in our emotion.  At these times it’s advantageous to seek out professional counsel and begin to learn how to express those feelings and get them out in the open, aided by someone we trust.  Even the expression of those feelings to a close loved one is beneficial because it allows others to express care and empathy.  No one really wants to be burdened and suffer through a rough time alone.  Nor should they have to.  Open communication is one of the ways a person experiences a loving relationship.  Sharing your heart with someone you trust can greatly strengthen that relationship.  In the end, giving our loved ones a chance to show us they care and that they can be with us/there for us is actually a gift to them.

YOU WON’T CHOOSE ME

(By Tammy Vaughn)

Recently my band, Dana Isles and Facedown, went to Knoxville, TN to record a six song EP.  When you record a song you tend to hear it over and over again.  As I listened to it over and over again, the words to one of the songs got me thinking about a lot of areas of life and the people in those areas.

The song is called “You Won’t Choose Me.” It is written from God’s perspective of how He (Jesus) pursues us and loves us yet we don’t choose Him.  When I first heard it I thought it was very sad.  In fact, I still think it’s sad because the song does a great job of highlighting how some people simply do not choose Jesus.  Some of the words to the song are the following:

“Many are Called, Called to follow Him but a very few choose to believe

I have chosen you but you won’t choose me

I try, try, try to make you love me, but you won’t choose me,

I can’t stop thinking of you, but you won’t choose me,

I knock, knock, knock and you won’t answer, you won’t choose me,

I just want to tell you that I paid your ransom but you won’t choose me

What more can I do to get through to you

You just don’t realize for you I suffered and died

To prove, I love you.”

This song hits me between the eyes every time.  In fact, I get teased some because I cry almost every time I hear it.  The simple Gospel is that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us.  Since that is the case, why is it that many people choose to reject the things of God, His Word, His guidance, His pursuit of them to follow their own sinful desires?  I mean honestly it had me examining myself to see in what areas I reject the things of God.  

At times, I think it is very easy to reject God and not even know you are doing it, but what I have been saddened by recently is that there are some who willingly choose to reject God’s commands.  Often this is because God’s commands keep them from pursuing what they think they want.  Following God is simply not what they want to do.  Some of the rationalizations are as follows:

• It’s okay to violate God’s commands because I am tired of my life the way it is.
• God can’t really expect this of me because it goes against the grain of what society thinks is acceptable.
• I want to party, live it up gratify my evil selfish desires, after all, God wants me to be happy. Right?

Whatever happened to following God’s commands and honoring Him no matter what our desires are?  I realize it is hard to follow God at times; however, it is the way we show him that we love him.  The Bible says in John 14:15, “If you love me you will keep My commandments.”  We show our love to God by keeping His commandments.  So if we don’t keep His commandments, then we love something or someone else more.

My heart breaks because as I reflect I have realized that many - NOT ALL - but many of the situations I encounter on a day-to-day basis stem from choices being made to gratify self, turning away from God’s commandments and the promises He makes to us as believers in His Word.  The other heart breaker is that there are some that God is chasing and pursuing, yet the response given is to ignore Him.  Flat out reject and ignore Him.  Many wonder why, while they have exchanged the truth of God for a lie, they are living a miserable life.  Often God’s best is given up for insanity- repeated cycles of un-health that do not stop and contain one defeat after another, powerless living instead of powerful ability to live out the calling Jesus has on each of our lives.

The sad part of all of this is that there are consequences for these choices both in the here and now and in eternity.  Often times we are in a mess because of our own choices.  While in the mess we choose to reject God’s commands, making the situation worse or more complex.  It’s frustrating to watch and realize that we each have free will and make our own choices.  God can and wants to help us make the right choices. “He wants to give you power from on high but we don’t choose Him.”

It’s time to reflect on where we are in this.  So where are you?  Are there areas in your life or mine that we reject God?  Are there those around us that are choosing the world’s view or their own sinful desires over God’s desires and commands?  Does it break our heart?  Do we pray for them?  Do we prayerfully confront sin?  The Gospel of Jesus Christ is alive and well, giving power to all that believe.  So let’s live like our lives and others depend on it!

“Choose Me” copyright Dana R. Isles 2011

A Time to Grieve and a Time to…

(By Tammy Vaughn)

Prime times for grieving a loss or death are during the holiday season, around the loved one’s birthday or the day of their passing.  So how do we face holiday grief?   Grief is the loss of a loved one or something important to you.  Grief could include the loss of an idea, item, animal, child or dream.  Grief may actually start before a person is deceased, especially in the case of terminal illness.  

I believe taking a self-inventory is a key concept around the area of grief; it is beneficial to examine yourself and identify feelings on how you are processing or not processing the loss.   You may be telling yourself things like,  “Stop making a big deal out of it” or “You should be over it by now” or “I can’t live without this person” or “I want to die too.” I think a key part of this is to evaluate what you think about your observations, self talk or thoughts.  You may miss your loved one terribly, and you may be feeling loss and sadness.  The flip side may also be true- maybe you recognize that the loved one is missing but feel relief or peace.  Maybe you don’t think of your loved one at all and feel guilty for not thinking of them.  It is important to remember that feelings are just feelings; they are not right or wrong, they are just your feelings.  We tend to place a lot of emphasis on how we feel when really it’s what you do with your feelings that is important.  Taking an honest inventory of how you’re doing throughout the grief process is very important.

Another key to dealing with grief is to find a healthy balance between remembering and honoring a person’s absence and perseverating or centering the entire rest of your life or holidays on their absence.  Being consumed by your loved one’s death or loss does not help you to live your life.   This may sound insensitive, but if God has still given you life, He has a purpose and plan for you.  It’s important to keep this in mind.  I encourage people to find a way to celebrate or acknowledge the person who you have lost without being totally consumed.  Some people are reluctant to even use the word “celebrate” because they feel that if you celebrate, you will forget your loved one.  Achieving a healthy balance is important; that way you are not swallowed up in grief and therefore miss making memories, enjoying other loved ones who are living or miss out on life in general.  I think processing feelings with close supportive friends, pastors and professional counselors is very helpful in working toward striking this balance.  Part of moving toward health is carrying on normal activities, realizing that you will be making “new normals”.  

Another key to grief recovery is to find support.  Let me say it again: find support. Grief Share, Celebrate Recovery, pastorate friends and professional counselors, etc.  Some things God never meant for us to go through or overcome by ourselves; grief is one of those things.  It is and will be tempting to isolate, wall off and stay to yourself because the pain is too intense or you don’t want to get hurt again. You may be tempted to not celebrate the holiday or to celebrate the holiday alone. Instead, find some supportive people, friends or coworkers and celebrate the best that you can.  Isolation makes the healing process harder and longer.  Being around people that care about you will in fact help your grief process.  Processing feelings with people you trust will help you to work through those feelings and gain the support you need to survive.  Remember that grief is more than just five stages, or steps, or hoops to jump through.  It can look like a ball of yarn. There is no time line to grief, and it can be experienced by everyone differently.  You can actually be stuck in stages, not really go through some of them and experience them out of order.  The fives stages of grief are denial, bargaining, depression, anger and acceptance. Remembering that everyone processes grief differently is helpful, realizing that   while you are on one stage, your spouse or children may be on a different stage.   The important thing to do is to acknowledge or experience your feelings when you have them.  Don’t try to shut grief feelings down, run from them or deny that you are having them.  Stuffed feelings always come out in ways and at times that you don’t want them to come out.  When you are grieving, often times you feel out of control and devastated.   One thing you can control is how you explore and express your feelings.  You will also feel empowered and begin to have a sense of hope as you identify and acknowledge the feelings you have.   Give yourself permission to grieve and to be happy.  The Bible in Ecclesiastes 3 reminds us that life has many seasons and cycles.  This passage gives us each hope that there is an end in sight.  Life will not always be this traumatic or painful.   

Take a minute to read this great reminder in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.  Take a deep breath and be encouraged!

    There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the  heavens:

    a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,

    a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,

    a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,

    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

    a time to embrace and a time to   refrain from embracing,

    a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away

    a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,

    a time to love and a time to hate,  a time for war and a time for peace.

Discipline

(By Tammy Vaughn)

I thought that I would write a blog that touches on the area of discipline – the kind of discipline that is needed to do something that you do not really want to do but need to do.  Some things that immediately come to my mind are reading the Bible, eating in a healthy way, communicating hard things to people you love, exercising and maintaining your cool when you want to blow up.  The list goes on and on.  Here are some thoughts on discipline.

Discipline takes courage – courage to change.  It really does not take much courage to stay the way you are.  It is easy to remain in the same old unhealthy patterns of life.  For me, all the signs have pointed to me being unhealthy and slowly killing myself by what I was eating. However, change felt hard and staying in the same old way that I was felt easier, more comfortable.

Discipline is countercultural – to create a discipline means denying yourself of the thing that you want.  It includes self control.  In a culture that is all about getting what you want now and putting your own needs in front of the needs of others, denying one’s self is not the norm.  The truth is that if you want to create new patterns, new norms, you have to deny yourself.  It can be such a mind game.  I often find myself thinking, “This is not working; why am I wasting my time?”  Unfortunately, I then entertain the fearful thought that if I don’t do something to change my situation, I will be worse off and even dead.

Discipline can be difficult – quite honestly I get easily frustrated when I cannot see the results of change immediately.  I recently hit a plateau in weight loss.  I had to continue to follow my eating plan even though I was not losing weight.  This went on for a couple of months.  FRUSTRATING!!!   I started to give in to temptations, little ones, but they all add up.  Pretty soon I found myself justifying the little compromises.  The little indulgences became acceptable.  “After all”, I would tell myself, “the eating plan is not working.”  I knew, however, that I had to keep at it if I ever had the hope of losing more weight. 

Well, in the center of my desire to create new disciplines in my life is the person of Jesus.  I was dying in my old patterns of thought and behaviors.  Jesus Christ has stepped into my life and helped me create new ways of thinking, new patterns of behavior.  It is like he took the Holy Spirit flashlight and shined it on areas of my life that were a mess.  While Jesus stands ready to help us, he does not overstep our free will.  This is important to realize because it challenges the thought of a quick fix.  We all generally want a quick fix – “Jesus, take this addiction.  Jesus, give me money. Jesus, heal me.  Jesus, change my marriage.”  For me, I used to pray that Jesus would just take the weight off my body.   I believe that Jesus could melt my fat off my body in the middle of the night if He wanted to, but that hasn’t happened… yet. ☺  Instead, my daily pursuit of Him as God in my eating and exercise is how my pounds are melting away.  To be more specific, I look at what I eat and ask myself, “Does this glorify God?  Is this what He wants me to eat?  How should I manage my time so that I can add in exercise and glorify God with my body.”   “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own, you were bought at a price. Therefore glorify God with your bodies.”  I Corinthians 6:19-20 

That is deep!  I was bought with a price.  My freedom was purchased with a price,   Jesus’ very life.   And I still make the wrong choices.  HE did the work so that I could be free.  Unhealthy patterns of behavior and thought do not line up with us being more like Jesus daily.  I believe that while creating new patterns, God always meets our efforts.  I love that! In fact, what does it look like to the world when they see “Christians” stuck in unhealthy patterns of thinking leading to unhealthy patterns of behavior?  We look powerless and weak – not attractive or appealing and not a good representation of our Lord.

We serve a living God who is strong and mighty, who wants to help us as we walk in discipline and health.  As you take a personal inventory of the un-health in your life, what are the areas where God is calling you to make changes?  What is the discipline that you need to allow God to help you make so that you can be transformed to be more like Him?  How do we show the world, fellow believers as well as non-believers, the gospel in action? Discipline!

Weighed Down!

(By Tammy Vaughn) 

Lately I have been learning a lot about the process of losing weight.  I started this journey in February 2013.  My current diet is mostly based on Dr. Fuhrman’s “Eat To Live” plan.  It is a way of eating that has totally changed my life.  It has been eight months now, and I have lost 62 pounds.  What once seemed impossible is now happening little by little.  How did this radical change all start?  It started with me feeling hopeless and helpless.

My father passed away in November 2011 from a very rare and aggressive cancer called Sarcamatoid Carcinoma.  The medical personnel kept saying that they could not get the proper read on certain medical tests because of his large habitus.  “Large habitus?”  It dawned on me that they were referencing his overweight body.  The words “large habitus” would ring in my ears.  Was it not awful enough that he had rare and aggressive cancer and was dying?  Did they have to keep referring to his 350 pound body as a “large habitus?”  This made me angry for a couple reasons, but mostly because it made me wonder what future medical treatments would be difficult for me since I also had a “large habitus”.  Two weeks after my father’s diagnosis, my family had to make the difficult decision to take my father off of life support. Now let me say, I know that my father is with Jesus, so I rest and take comfort in that.

The next life event that made me focus on my weight was a knee surgery that I had in June 2012.  My knee just never quite healed, and in the process of treatment, my doctor told me I would eventually need double knee replacements.  I had just turned 40 years old.  One of the main contributing factors to the decline in my knees was due to my “large habitus.”  The key to putting off knee replacement surgery was to lose weight.

I was frustrated, embarrassed and in pain.  It was sobering to think I would need surgery due to beating my knees down daily with my weight.  Finally it was all catching up to me.  The pain was so bad in my knee that I just thought to myself on several occasions, “I am going to have to live my life in a wheelchair or scooter.”  I was getting comfortable, coming to a resolve that this was how it was going to be.  I want you to understand how hopeless I felt.  I was going to give up!  After all, I had been on every diet you could imagine, including an all liquid diet for weeks.  Nothing worked, and now I was looking at major surgery if I did not lose weight.  Now a scooter or mobilized wheelchair is fine IF this is what is genuinely needed.  For me however, I would end up in the power chair because I was overweight and did nothing about it.  I would be choosing to live in defeat.

In talking to a close friend about this, I told her that, “I want to know the resurrection power of Jesus Christ in this area of my life.”  To me this was a way to say, “Jesus, this area of my life is dead, hopeless, lifeless, stagnant, even sinful, but the resurrection power can bring what is dead back to life.”  Paul said, “I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection” (Phil 3:10).

I have experienced that power in other areas of my life, so I know Jesus gives us access to this power.  In fact, this is the reason He victoriously came and conquered death—so that I do not have to live defeated.  Yet I was choosing just that.  I knew in my head that Jesus has the power to heal and change people; I just did not believe it could happen for me, in this area of my life.  Oh me of little faith!  Here I had access all along to the power to change.  I just felt extremely hopeless and overwhelmed.  One large uphill battle!

While on a family vacation in January 2012, my brother came to me and told me about an eating plan he and my sister-in-law were going to follow.  He said he saw me struggling and wanting to lose weight.  He then offered to journey with me, not just to lose weight but also to get healthy.  He presented Dr. Fuhrman’s “Eat To Live” book and plan to me.  It was radical.  He told me I would have to radically change how you eat.  He said “I know you can know the resurrection power of Jesus Christ in this area of your life.  You pray about it.”  I did not really need to pray about it; I had prayed the same prayer earlier that week- to know the resurrection power of Jesus Christ.  Reluctant to start yet another “diet” only to fail, I told him I was in!

Well, fast forward eight months.  With the help of Jesus, good accountability, support from my family and friends and Dr. Fuhrman’s medical team in North Jersey, I have lost 62 pounds.  I have gone down five pant sizes and two shirt sizes.  Seems like a miracle to me some days; other days it’s not enough and I still have a long way to go.

I believe that Jesus will continue to help me lose weight.  It is not easy.  At times I want to give up.  But Jesus has helped give me the strength to resist temptation, to persist and be disciplined one meal at a time.  I have knowledge about food that I did not have before.  And knowledge is power.  I don’t see quitting as an option, although I want to some days.  I can really feel God doing something new in my body and in my mind.  I’m often encouraged by 2 Corinthians 5:17, “If any is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come.”

I value the support of my brothers and sisters in Christ.  I also call out to my brother when I am struggling or feel I cannot eat one more salad.  God uses him to encourage me to get back on track.   I view my eating as an act of worship unto the Lord.  My body belongs to Him; it is His temple.  Romans 12:1 says, “Therefore I urge you brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God.  This is your spiritual act of worship.”  I cannot possibly do all God has called me to do while slowly destroying my body and eventually killing myself with food.  I was created for more than just drowning in my own fat!  Maybe this sounds extreme.  It is not extreme to me when I think about watching my father die in Cooper Hospital because he had tumors growing inside the fat of his abdomen that they could not see because of his “large habitus”.  It motivates me to keep going.

I am fully aware that it will not happen on my own strength alone.  I am so grateful for my wonderful loving Savior who loves me and cares about me and gave me a new sense of hope in this area of my life.  The praise is all due to Him!  I hope you feel encouraged to present the areas of your life where you feel hopeless and defeated to Jesus.  Pray and tell Him that you want to know the resurrection power of Jesus Christ in that area of your life.  That power is available to all of His Children.  I hope someone is shouting Amen somewhere! I know I am!

Hey Look Out!

(By Tammy Vaughn) 

I was attending a picnic earlier this summer.  I was walking along a path and a friend was following behind me. We were carrying our stuff to a picnic table. Our hands were full and the load was heavy. She was walking in front of me and I was following behind her. She saw a huge hole in the ground and brought it to my attention.  She was alerting me so that I could change where I was walking since I was heading into a place of danger. I quickly changed direction; I listened to her and moved away from the hole and walked on solid ground. Had she not alerted me to the hole, I would have walked right into it. If I had fallen into this hole, I could have hurt myself severely. I could have fallen down, twisted my ankle, wrecked my knee or gotten other injuries, not to mention the embarrassment I was spared. I was grateful she told me and even more grateful that I listened.

I thought to myself, this is how Christian friendship and accountability should be. It’s like Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, “Two People are better than one. They can help each other in everything they do. Suppose someone falls down. Then his friend can help him up. But suppose the man who falls down doesn’t have anyone to help him up. Then feel sorry for him!” (NIRV)

It is helpful as Christians when we are able to see things that could be pitfalls in the lives of our Christian friends. Before I move on, I am not saying we should go around and alert everybody of potential pitfalls.  I am talking about when you have earned the right to speak into someone’s life or feel God is directing you to speak to a person about these pitfalls. 

It is very helpful when a friend looks out for you spiritually and warns you of possible danger.  It is a humbling experience to be the one bringing the warning as well as the one being warned. It takes great courage to be both.  It also takes great courage to follow a warning. When we choose to follow direction it can be life-changing. 

As I have reflected back to times in my life that I have followed warnings my friends have given me, I often see that I avoided being easily entangled and engulfed in behavior and thoughts that do not line up with Christ and his word.  When I have been the person warning, it can be humbling and uncomfortable. “God, you want me to say what?”  Often times, friends have come back and expressed thanks.  There have been times when I have been warned and do not see the potential danger myself, but due to the trust that I have with the person and with the Holy Spirit that leads them, I follow the advice.  I will never know the amount of snags that have been adverted by humbly following a warning.

In closing, it is important to saturate yourself in the Word of God daily and be led by His Holy Spirit. Measure everything people speak into your life through the filter of God’s Word.  Having said that, it is also important and life-changing to live in an attitude of humility where we are open to the warnings of other Christians.  Humbly following a warning can help us as Christians stay out of unnecessary trouble and sin.  Humbly warning others can also help them stay out of pitfalls and sin.  This could potentially save everybody a lot of time, embarrassment, spiritual and even physical harm. 

Where in your life has God used someone else to warn you of an area of sin in your life?  When has God wanted to use you to bring a warning to someone else? 

The Plane is Going Down

(By Tammy Vaughn) 

Have you ever felt that way?

I recently felt like this while taking a trip on an airplane. After being removed from the exit row due to my weight and away from the friend I was traveling with, I was sat next to two teenage boys. The space was tight, they were tall and I was wide. I made several attempts to chit-chat with the guys and make an uncomfortable situation more comfortable. I made several attempts to talk to them and ease the situation, all the while getting more and more uncomfortable inside. I think what I felt was shame- shame that I was overweight and causing a “scene.” I also felt disconnected from my friend who was in the exit row and unable to connect to the people around me. I got quiet. I prayed and God spoke. The thing I love about Jesus is that he is able to speak quickly into our hearts and reframe our minds. It was as if he was saying, “Tammy, I know you. I know that you have been working on losing weight. I am here. You are fine. Be glad for the progress you have made and keep going.” Immediately the storm inside me quieted, shame was gone, I was not alone, I was proud of the progress I have made and I began to read my book quietly. The young men were still uncomfortable, so I said, “Why don’t you go to the exit row and check out the seats?” They moved there, and my friend moved to the seat next to me. At the end of the flight the young men’s father came to me and apologized for any discomfort his sons may have caused me. I graciously accepted and let him know that Jesus was helping me lose weight. Their mother also said that they thought they were going to lay down three seats and sleep. I smiled.

In our lives, especially in healing or recovery, we feel like there is no use, or that we are never going to make progress or get anywhere. I think the story is significant because often small things can get us off of God’s track of healing in our lives. It would totally stink if I gave power to those two young men who I did not even know. If I would have basked in shame, feeling alone or even made fun of, I could have just said “Forget it.” I could have dismissed the forward progress I have made in my weight loss journey. I could have called myself names.

I love Jesus because he is always there, always defending, always cheering us on. Take courage, my friend, if the journey is hard. Jesus is there to help, comfort, guide and assure you when evil comes against you. Quiet your mind, rest in him, listen and obey his word, use it like a sword in a war. You are worth it! The others that you will encourage someday with your story are worth it! Becoming more like Christ is worth it!

Psalm 55:22 “Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.”