The Heard of Media

(By Thor Knutstad)

Media, which used to mean 'newspapers and radio then became big screen and television,’ has evolved to an "out-of-context forum of public opinion" where injustices are highlighted, sadness and sin are put on display, and the diluted facts are often completely distorted and deluded.  When each does what is right in his or her own mind (and each is his own authority), it's a panacea and panoramic display of anger, self-protection, chaotic expression and 'the false glory desire of being heard.'  Being heard?  Yes. Heard. Listened to. Acknowledged. Not dismissed.  Is the issue about ISSUES or is it about being heard because life has silenced many?  Hmm - ponder this.  Being heard.  Defiance and "sin glorying" and hate, dividing and excusing actually do "SAY" something, don't they?  Where has reason gone?

As the final tide of eternity turns and as earthly division arises, may believers be unified and of one heart for the sake of the Gospel.  Sin and the enemy Satan are winning daily battles in subtle ways via Heard Media, but the real victory is ultimately in Christ Jesus as depicted in God's Word - and the foot of the Savior journeys on to save many souls.  If that doesn't make any sense to you then you are eating from the famine of truth. No wait, you may be eating from 'the famine of Hearing The Truth'.  The latter may be greater than the former by all means.  Oh what grief this brings to our hearts. Even Christ-followers have traded the quiet of God's Holy spiritual wisdom in Word for a blue and white scrolling catalog of nothingness that tries to highlight everything. Connected but lonely. Lonely yet connected. Sort of. Yet we have gained the appearance of horizontal intimacies for a loss of vertical intimacy.  Maybe this is why anxiety and fear reign in darker moments?  Maybe this lack of personal truth in our embattled hearts creates blind spots that are darker than the worst London Fog. Does 'The Son' really clear out the fog in your life, in your perceptions, and in your viewpoints? Passion and voice aren't an excuse for lacking clarity, reason, and Truth.

Stand firm in the faith, people. Do not let your ears be tickled by the deceiving spirit of antichrist all around you in this latent fog disguised as a vapor of mist. Only when you have absorbed more Bible and reckoned with the Man of Truth (The Risen Christ called Jesus) than those hourly poisonous doses of news and FaceBook, will you ever possibly begin to comprehend a larger, wider, and bigger picture of His unfolding plan. Stand firm, brothers and sisters. For He will bring all things under Him who is Head, even Christ. Come quickly, Lord Jesus - for the groaning and the longing of your people is echoing through Heaven's hallways like the hourly church bell rings throughout the town. Praise Him. 

“I will if” vs. “I will because”

(By Nate Howard)

God is forever reshaping us, like an expert potter. And since God is very relational (think: Trinity), one area in which He is continually attempting to change us is the basic way we relate to each other. Here’s an example to think about. In relationships, is your posture, “I will because” (which is covenant thinking) or “I will if” (which is contract thinking)?

When I’m in the mode “I will if,” I’m looking to the other person to meet certain conditions and IF he/she does what I require, then I WILL act on their behalf. It’s like we have this unwritten contract, I WILL be good to them IF … 

When I’m in the mode “I will because,” I’m not looking first to the condition of the other person (if they are good, bad, worthy, unworthy, etc.). Rather, I look elsewhere, like, perhaps, to my promise to them, or my promise to God. Then, I WILL be good to them BECAUSE my eyes are on something other than them — I do that because that’s my covenant.

I believe if you look at most troubled relationships, you will find “I will if” thinking. Let’s change that and become a church that cooperates with God’s reshaping agenda of the way we do relationships! And I WILL stay in relationship with you, not IF you meet my expectations, but BECAUSE He has called us to be together. 

Slowing Down to Relate May Cause You To Push Social Media Aside.

Ed Welch offers a helpful perspective regarding how the use of social media forces us to relate at a pace that is not fitting to our humanity. At our church, we have been focusing on 4 values we are encouraged to pursue these days:

• Spend less
• Worship fully
• Give more
• Love all

In order to implement these values we may need to consider the pace of our relationships and what may be substituting what Welches calls "slower relationships" in our lives. Click here and read Welche's blog. I hope it helps you assess what dynamics or attitudes may need to change in your life in these days so at to love others well.

May God bless you,

Diego Cuartas

Artificial Intimacy

(By Thor Knutstad)

Life on TV is far from reality.  I think we all agree with this simple statement way too easily without understanding its various implications.  Let me state it again – life on TV is far from reality.  Even when the show or series appears to be healthy, moral, family centered or even biblically rooted, a camera of lens and microphone was never intended to capture in motion the unique story, history and context of people’s lives.  Even while we applaud those who are loving, family oriented, God-centered and who defy the norm of society, their higher road living sometimes only serves to create more comparison, more depression and more striving of works and performance; it actually leads to less joy in most people.  Life is not The Ingalls Family (yes, this dates me – I’m referring to Little House on the Prairie from the 1970’s and 1980’s).  Life is not Duck Dynasty, though I love Willie Robinson’s bold and candid expressions of the Gospel and New Testament truth.  Life is not the latest Christian movie to come on the scene and touch the hearts of audiences (but I will say that God’s Not Dead did present the Gospel as clearly as any portrayal that I have ever witnessed in larger venue film).  Life is not movies or videos that depict the life of Christ like The Jesus Film, Jesus of Nazareth, or The Passion of the Christ.  These grip our hearts and stimulate us to see the life of our Lord, but John says that all the books of the world could not list all of Jesus works and miracles and life.  Hmm.  Are my statements pessimistic?  Am I labeling all these things as bad?  I’m not.  You may enjoy these things, but they are NOT the setting for your life, your world, your situation and your unique context.  They should NOT define your worldview or your values.  Even when “quality viewing” seems to touch the strings of your heart, it’s still like finding two diamonds deep in a large pile of manure.  You may find a few valuable pieces, but you get very dirty wading through everything else to find the treasure.  And you aren’t unaffected by it.  In fact, you’re worse off than without it.  Some of you may think this sounds legalistic.  It is not.  This is a call to prudence and sober thinking about what we view, how we perceive and interpret it and why some of our “better” viewing may just be a lesser evil and just another plot of the enemy to have us fall into the trap of Artificial Intimacy.  A sober evaluation of this requires spiritual maturity and a more “meaty” understanding of the Scriptures.  My heart is to make us think this: Am I filling my heart and soul with Artificial Intimacies?  If you are, then this article is for you.

TV, movies, FB and most social media (even including sports) and the internet promote Artificial Intimacy.  Artificial Intimacy can be defined as “the result of anything that promotes feelings of connectedness and closeness.”  Artificial Intimacy blurs the lines of reality and fantasy to create a passive distraction.  In it, we consume data and feelings are created.  We are emotionally manipulated, and we don’t even know it sometimes, if not often.  Artificial Intimacy is known by, but not limited to, the following defining factors:

1. It disconnects us from real life (makes us want another life)

2. It discontents us with real life (hmm, where is the secret of contentment?)

3. It devalues real life and devalues the ordinary by craving the extraordinary

4. It deceives our hearts and minds with world views that are less than biblical

5. It disappoints us and is often quite idolatrous (promotes a false worship of something/someone) without ever really saying the word “idolatry” or “idol of the heart”

6. It dramatizes everything that happens and looks to solve every problem

7. It deepens our sinful desires for a good, comfortable life (not a cross-bearing, self-denying one)

8. It doesn’t deliver the end of isolation and loneliness; it actually isolates us even more

9. It lures us with tastes and hungry cravings for more entertainment and self-preoccupation

10. It doesn’t tell you that the backdrop and setting for consumerism leaves us with a plethora of multiple choices, selfish humanism, false optimism, a gospel of social justice that trumps the Gospel of death and resurrection, a desire for more efficient and the faster version, a bow to rationalistic reason and a freedom of doings that go beyond biblical boundaries.

11. It doesn’t tell you that as you are emotionally manipulated, you will feel more passive and actually more depressed.   Consumer and cultural absorption will fill the sponge of you if you haven’t soaked up the deeper truths of God in His Word and soaked up His presence.   Artificial Intimacy would never tell you that you’re given dirty and sick water from manmade cisterns (wells) as a trade off to our Lord’s living water for the heart (tough statements, but read them again).

12. It will make you think that you are ruled by your rights and not by your responsibilities.  You are not ruled by your rights.  You are ruled by your responsibilities to the Savior and the King.  Artificial Intimacy calls you a victim, but the Bible calls you a culpable participant.

13. It won’t tell you that it wants your theology to come from culture and the world; instead, your theology should stand against and infect the world’s sick heart with cures and antibodies.

Whether it’s TV, social media or even our cell phones, we have to ask this question: are we becoming over connected to Artificial Intimacy?  We fear a slowdown from Artificial Intimacy because silence and conversations often reveal what lives below the surface of our hearts.  Distractions and busyness are welcomed (in Artificial Intimacy) because they keep us away from sober, somber and prudent considerations.  Loud surroundings, the motion of commotion and the visually fast will always occupy and attempt to dominate our minds.  But it’s artificial.  Let’s get real, people.  Is your Intimacy Artificial?  Are you over connected?  What masters and enslaves you?  What is the noise that preoccupies your soul with distractions and stimulations?  We wrongly allow the enemy a foothold over the cacophony of our hearts ponderings and pains and the even the voice of God – Satan and the world love the silence of Artificial Intimacy.  And Artificial Intimacy is a god (a false one) who serves that very desire.  But it is deafening to our souls.  And the cost of Artificial Intimacy is vast.  It robs you of the gold of True Intimacy – being connected in a still and quieted soul to your Lord Jesus and the Spirit of God –

“Relating Without Guile”

(By Thor Knutstad)

Most of our patterns of relating are naturally very self-protective and actually quite manipulative. While distance or demand provides us a setting to be safe from the transparencies of vulnerability, contact and relating in conversation often only touches others to the degree that we get our own needs met. This is sad. Neither strategy is loving, but actually very self-serving.

Life’s disappointments and our deepest pains will almost always seem to occur in the context of some of our closest relationships. Our sinful strategies that try to control our relational world are very self-interested and very self-deceptive. 

Maybe we need to repent of these manipulative styles of relating and move toward others with risky involvement and words that connect to their hearts? Do you fear this style of intimate relating? Do you crave closeness but avoid it to the measure that it serves you?

Though Jesus was careful not to entrust Himself to the Pharisees, He does pour Himself into the hearts of the apostles and sometimes even other disciples. There were emboldened moments of relating – yet there were many tender ones as well. My friend Karen is now 71 years old and is in ministry in the Rochester, NY region. About 10 years ago, this 60+ year old woman came to me (a young pastor of about 33) and asked to be my Philadelphia Biblical University (PCB, now Cairn University) masters level counseling intern. What business did this mature, godly woman have being my intern, but I am grateful for her ministry – to others, and even to me. She was a good learner, but a good teacher as well. She knew how to love people and how to encourage. She gently and confidently once said to me in response to how I had handled some situation at church, “Thor, you are like Jesus – you are without guile.” She then proceeded to tell me what she meant by that. Guile is a military term from the Old King James Version of Scripture that denotes one who strategizes and plans in a sly and cunning manner – like a military leader who in crafty preparation knows how to flank his enemy and set up the victory. 

She was calling me to continue to deal with people and in their relationships (and mine) with a form of innocence – a reminder to never trade it for a shrewd plan or strategy that relies on a craft or skill that manipulates situations. This style of relating is vulnerable, but it cuts to the quick of the heart and often reaches the hearts of others. It touches people where they are, but it doesn’t pretend to have all of the answers. It listens and loves but doesn’t do so with a cunning agenda. It’s how Karen was – it’s who God has made her to be. This encouragement has stayed with me, and I have even passed it on a few times myself. If I have said it to you at some point, you are smiling right now. She blessed me and laid a foundation for my life, my relationships and my ministry.

While the Pharisees were self-righteous, self-absorbed and quite manipulative in tactic (hence, FULL OF GUILE), our sweet, loving Lord Jesus was the COMPLETE ANTITHESIS OF GUILE. His innocent, loving, merciful, gentle, unassuming ways reached into the hearts of His Most Beloved Relationships. Without guile, He healed and did miracles. Without guile, He spoke the Word of God – boldly and unapologetically. Without guile, He fulfilled His calling of His ministry and lived “on mission” with all whom He came into contact with daily. Without guile, He didn’t try to control or manipulate the outcome of those moments – He simply loved others well. Without guile, may WE repent of our maneuverings and the craft of relational control – instead, may WE turn toward our Jesus and replicate His love for others as an instrument of His heart.

Praise Him.

Relationships: A Stumbling Block or a Stepping Stone to Abiding in Christ?

(By Diego Cuartas)

Recently out of my own personal struggles in relationships, God has brought me to a point of “crisis of belief”, as Henry Blackaby would call it. My point of crisis came as I realized a couple of days ago how reluctant I have been to admit some relational disappointments. I am so thankful for the loving perseverance of my wife and her godly counsel to me. My conversation with her took place on Sunday night. The next day as I was working out and deciding what to meditate on, God led me--as He has many other times--to read the first letter of John. I am so thankful God spoke to me. What became evident to me through my reading is that how I relate to others plays a big part in how well I “abide” in Christ. Put differently, how I relate to others impacts how I relate to God. My relationships can either become a stumbling block or a stepping stone to abiding in Christ.

In verses 5-10 of chapter 1, John indicates that fellowship with God is directly linked to me walking in the “light” instead of hiding or pursuing the promises that any “darkness” offers. John says that when we walk in the light we are positioned to have fellowship with God and also with one another. Darkness hinders fellowship with God and other people. The beautiful thing is that when I choose to walk in the light I can be a beneficiary of all that Christ offers to sinners like me. In Him I can receive forgiveness and a cleansing of the things that are not aligned with His purpose and design for me. The alternative for relating this way to God and others is to pretend or live life as if I was not a sinner, someone who has fallen short of God’s expectations and unable to help myself. This alternative, according to John, makes me (or anyone) a liar. Thank God there is hope for us--the first verses in chapter 2 show how Jesus can very efficiently advocate for us before God the Father. Jesus makes my abiding in Him a real possibility!

Furthermore, in verses 7-11 of chapter 2, John offers a very relational perspective for us to consider. He teaches that the disposition of my heart toward others will result in a “stumbling block” in my life when instead of loving others I choose to hate them. Hate can be understood as an aversion or hostility toward another person. And hating, according to John will keep a person in bondage to darkness. Darkness, says John, not only blinds me to others but it keeps me walking in the dark. This darkness that hinders relationship hinders in turn my abiding in Christ. In chapter 3 verse 24, John emphasizes this truth in the following way: “Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God and God in him.” 

Relationships can be a stumbling block to our abiding in Christ if we do them in our sinful ways or if they keep us far from obeying God’s commandments. The messiness that is revealed in relationships can point us to our need of a Savior, our need of an advocate and our need of a Healer. Apart from the love and mercy of God we can’t love others well.

So how am I to treat other sinners, especially those who cause me pain and disappointment? The answer is simple and profound: the same way God has treated you! Take a moment to allow the following statements from John Piper (Good News of Great Joy: Daily Readings for Advent, page 36) to give you a renewed perspective:

How shall a holy and just God treat us sinners with so much kindness as to give us the greatest reality in the universe (his Son) to enjoy with the greatest joy possible? The answer is that God put our sins on his Son, and judged them there, so that he could put them out of his mind, and deal with us mercifully and remain just and holy at the same time. Hebrews 9:28 says, “Christ was offered once to bear the sins of many.” Christ bore our sins in his own body when he died. He took our judgment. He canceled our guilt. And that means the sins are gone. They do not remain in God’s mind as a basis for condemnation. In that sense, he “forgets” them. They are consumed in the death of Christ. Which means that God is now free, in his justice, to lavish us with the new covenant. He gives us Christ, the greatest Reality in the universe, for our enjoyment. And he writes his own will—his own heart—on our hearts so that we can love Christ and trust Christ and follow Christ from the inside out, with freedom and joy.

Obviously, we are to treat others mercifully as we have been treated mercifully. The basis for such mercy is what God has done in Christ. He alone can call our sins into judgment. We are not the judge of others’ sins; He alone is. It is amazing that both the authority for judgment and hope for redemption rest in God. As long as I hold others through the lenses of my judgment I will not be free to lavish love on them. And as long as I hope in their ability to change, I will miss trusting in what God alone can do in them.

For thought:

• Which relationships presently help you abide in Christ? Which ones do not?
• How are you relating to others? Is the way you relate keeping you in the dark or in the light?
• Have you experienced the mercy of God? How is his mercy impacting the way you relate to others?

How Dysfunctional Is Our Family? Not Yours, Ours.

(By Diego Cuartas)

Recent interactions with people within the church have left me wondering how we are doing when it comes to relating to the Body of Christ and modeling relationships after the character of our Covenant Father. There seems to be a revolving door through which men and women, believers from all kinds of walks, come and go because they are not staying long.

I remember my family of origin had a unique characteristic that was both an asset and a liability. If I can say it this way, we were plainly nice at any cost. The asset helped us on the one hand to find ways to be hospitable and allowed us to connect with others in ways that would help them feel welcomed and cared for. The liability reared its head when tension or conflict was present with another person and being lovingly honest with them seemed like too big of a price to pay. Growing up in my family context shaped me in ways that I am sure account in part for the dysfunctional or distorted view I developed of people. I began to view people as really BIG at the expense of reducing God’s size to a smaller one. People-pleasing became one of my normal currencies in my relational exchanges with people. It was not long into my young adult years that I realized how dysfunctional my contribution to friends, coworkers, family, dating and even serving others was. There is no doubt that my relating patterns were now reflecting in some way my family value called “niceness”.

A verse I had journaled back in February of this year describes for me the character of our heavenly Father, which He in turn desires for us to reflect in our relationships with other believers within the Body of Christ. Consider with me this precious statement presented in Deuteronomy 4:31:

“For the Lord your God is a merciful God. He will not leave you or destroy you or forget the covenant with your fathers that he swore to them.”

Notice that our heavenly Father regards His relationship with us as a covenant. Granted, this is a very unbalanced covenant because He is willing to contribute His best and most even though we fall short of meeting his personal expectations and standards. Thanks be to God that this is not how we are to always live. When we are in Christ, the disproportion of this covenant is leveled by a mercy that satisfies the deepest longings of our Father. We could say that the commitment God has toward us is only based on the sacrifice made by another. Furthermore, we learn that this Father will never leave us or destroy us. No matter what happens, He will not forget that what joins us to Him is the covenant He initiated and facilitated through the blood of His own Son.

Why then do we enter and exit relationships with others within the Body of Christ so easily? How deep is our commitment? How long is our forbearance? How merciful is our heart? I believe the dysfunctional symptoms we experience in the present time within our local communities of faith can’t be healed by treating the community as a whole. The renewing in the way we do relationships will happen when each individual takes a step- a step that is in keeping with our Covenant Father. Where we learn from Him and lean on His resources until all possible ones have been exhausted. Where we bring honestly our personal poverty so that richness can be ours at the end. Where we fight for unity. And only after we have prayed and exhausted all the possible resources given to us will we say it’s time to part ways. I hope with time the revolving door will move slower only to give entrance to newcomers!

If you are in need of practical ways to do your part in bringing health to our dysfunctional family, I encourage you to read and follow the Apostle Paul’s prescriptions of our Covenant Father found in Ephesians 4.

“NO” IS NOT A 4 LETTER WORD!”

 (By Lois Robinson)

Back in the day when I was growing up, I was taught that I shouldn’t say curse words, or “4 letter words” as we called them. I won’t elaborate or be more specific with those! Interestingly though, I was also taught I couldn’t say ‘no’ to things that hurt me either. The word ‘yes’ was very acceptable, the good Christian things to say, but the word ‘no’ was out of bounds! That set me up very nicely for major boundary problems that in turn brought lots and lots of problems for me and relationships for many years.

I consider my own counseling journey to be one that cost thousands of dollars to learn how to say ‘no’ - a difficult yet rewarding journey. The rewards far out-weighed the difficulties.

But, you may be asking, “Are boundaries biblical?” “Aren’t we supposed to lay down our lives in order for Christ to rise up in us and say ‘yes’ to everyone in need?” “Lois, where is the true Gospel message in boundaries?”

Well, great questions, and I am so glad you asked! Here we go!

God is a good, loving, perfect, holy parent that loves His children so much that He wrote a whole book of boundaries! It’s called the Bible!

The very first set of boundaries that I read about in the Bible is in Genesis, where God tells Adam and Eve ‘yes’ to all of the trees but ‘no’ to a certain one. He spelled out a set of limitations, or boundaries, out of love for them. Just like when we tell children, “You can play in the backyard, but don’t go into the street,” out of love for them. Good parenting involves setting up healthy boundaries for children to learn to live and in order to protect them. Parents, can you imagine allowing your children to do WHATEVER they wanted to do, WHENEVER and WHEREVER! SMH (shaking my head in Facebook world:) )

God tells us all about the boundary lines He has set up for us out of love so we do not play in the street and have horrible consequences. Unfortunately, most of us really don’t think He means it, so we do the things He tells us not to do. We suffer consequences when we violate His boundaries, then we have the audacity to blame Him, just like Adam and Eve did. We then expect Him to say, maybe like our parents or others have, “It’s OK, I know you didn’t mean it.” Did God say that to Adam and Eve? No, He didn’t, and I am thankful for that! He said “Get out of the garden.” God cannot contradict His word which says “Let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no’”.

I am not sure how many of you reading this blog struggle with saying ‘NO’ or even realized that God was the author of boundaries, not Henry Cloud and John Towncend. They are wonderfully gifted men, and I love their books!! They are a must for your bookshelf by the way. But God is the original author. Henry and John got their insights for the material from the Spirit of God!

My hope would be that this little byte would drive you into the scriptures to see what God does say about this topic, Boundaries and your life! How He sent His Son Jesus to redeem all of the sin that results in pain of living so long without boundaries. Because of Jesus, God allowed my eyes to be opened to the principle of “let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no’”. Before that I said yes to everything and allowed the bad to come in and nearly kill me.

I urge you to check out the following scriptures:

Matthew 5:37
Proverbs 4:23
Proverbs 22:3
Matthew 7:7-12
Matthew 22:37-39
Galatians 6:2-5