life

What Can Help You Get Ready To Have the Difficult Conversation about End-of-Life Care?

So, according to the founders of the Conversation Project, the facts speaks for themselves about how much help we need help in terms of getting ready to have the difficult conversation about end-of-life wishes. Here are some of those facts:

90% of people say that talking with their loved ones about end-of-life care is important…27% have actually done so.

80% of the people say that if seriously ill they would want to talk to their doctor about end-of-life care…7% report having an end-of-life conversation with their doctor.

The Conversation Project provides tools (in English and Spanish) to help you take steps that prepare you to have the conversation that is essential to express your future wishes. To access these free tools visit http://theconversationproject.org

I recommend it.

Sincerely,

Diego Cuartas

Stewarding Words: A Case for the Wise Sayings of the Proverbs

(By Thor Knutstad)

If you have known the LORD as a believer for some time, you have heard this often repeated list of phrases:

Steward your time (moments, hours, days, the clock)

Steward your treasure (money, possessions, resources, home)

Steward your talents (God-given abilities, spiritual gifts)

To steward something literally means “to manage it.”  Actually, the word itself infers that it would be “managed well.”  The dictionary defines steward (the verb) as:  1. to supervise the arrangement of, 2. to keep order of and be responsible for, 3. to manage or look after and have charge over, 4. to actively direct or administer.  In the Bible, the Hebrew for steward (as a noun) was used for one who “ruled over as an overseer.”  This person had full charge over the household, property and business affairs for the owner (like Joseph had over the house of Potiphar in Genesis).  The New Testament definition in both the Aramaic and the Greek is not dissimilar from the Hebrew.  To steward meant to rule or have charge over.  Peter called believers to steward the grace of God (1 Peter 4:10), while Paul called fellow Christians to steward the (now revealed) mysteries of God (1 Corinthians 4:12).  He told the leaders of the church (overseers such as pastors/elders) to take scrupulous care of the flock as a steward (Titus 1:7).  Needless to say, to steward can be summed up in this connection of many words – manage, look after, direct, administer, care for scrupulously, have charge over or to oversee.   

I already mentioned that we have repeatedly heard the wise mandates to steward our time, our treasure and our talents.  The LORD wants us to manage our moments and hours, to oversee our possessions and resources, and to administer our gifts and abilities for Kingdom purposes.  But when I read the Proverbs, I of reminded of a fourth stewardship.  I am called to steward my tongue (or my words).  In my observation and experience as a pastor, Christian counselor, husband, father, man and fellow struggler, we are NOT stewarding our words well.  Our words are full of lies, gossip, accusation, division, a lack of gentleness, legalism, foolishness, approval, pride, self-glory, deception, chattering, manipulation, immorality and perversions, poorly timed statements, context forgetting, ungraciousness, gospel averting, indiscretion, seductiveness, poor tone, eye-rolling, poorly stewarded words.  We are just not stewarding well our words,folks.  Go back and reread that very sobering list.  Did I miss any one of us in those depictions?  It’s doubtful.  Don’t feel judged.  That is not my intention at all.  But if you sense the conviction of God’s Spirit about stewarding your words better, then I have done my job in hoping to provide wise counsel in my own words to you.

In Proverbs 6:16-19, Solomon lists seven things that the LORD absolutely hates.  Three of the seven are related to actually stewarding words: #2 – He hates a lying tongue. #3 – He hates a false witness, and #7 – He hates the stirring up of dissension among brothers.  As a matter of opposites, Solomon is in essence saying this:  steward words for truth, for honesty, and for peace and unity.  He is saying that the LORD loves these things (the latter) rather than the former (#2,#3, #7).  When we know the heart of our LORD God and how He speaks and how He stewards His own words in His Word, we will communicate better and speak from His heart (not ours).  We often say “that’s how I feel” or “that’s my opinion” or “that’s what I think,” but we forget the sobering truth that Jesus said in Luke 6:45, that “out of the heart the mouth speaks.”  When we steward well our words, we are speaking from the heart of the LORD and by His wise sayings.  Here are some questions from the Proverbs concerning the stewardship of words/talk that I am listing for us to take an honest look at:

Do I pursue wisdom in the Proverbs? (Do these wise sayings matter to me?) – Prov. 1-2

Do I know the benefits of wisdom?  Is wisdom supreme to me? – Prov. 3

Do I love wisdom? – Prov. 4:7

Do my words “invite ruin”? (Prov. 10:10)

Do I speak what is fitting (10:32) and give well timed and apt replies? (15:23, 25:11)

Are my words reckless (12:18) or perverse (10:31-32) or kind (12:25) and pleasant? (16:21)

Am I like a fool whose soul is ‘snared by his words’? (18:7)

Do I chatter aimlessly too many words (10:8,19) or hold my tongue appropriately in silence?

Again, go back and reread each one and contemplate the specific questions on this list.  Read the corresponding Scripture reference for God’s greater wisdom to see more fully what the Spirit of the LORD is saying through King Solomon.  And make it the goal of your heart and mind to steward well your words.  For the tongue truly does have the power of life, or death.  Stewarding well our words ministers life to others.  Don’t spread words of death.  Rather, steward well your words, dear people.  For this is the heart of God.  Praise Him. 

-- Copyright, 2015: Thor Knutstad, all rights reserved.

 

Artificial Intimacy

(By Thor Knutstad)

Life on TV is far from reality.  I think we all agree with this simple statement way too easily without understanding its various implications.  Let me state it again – life on TV is far from reality.  Even when the show or series appears to be healthy, moral, family centered or even biblically rooted, a camera of lens and microphone was never intended to capture in motion the unique story, history and context of people’s lives.  Even while we applaud those who are loving, family oriented, God-centered and who defy the norm of society, their higher road living sometimes only serves to create more comparison, more depression and more striving of works and performance; it actually leads to less joy in most people.  Life is not The Ingalls Family (yes, this dates me – I’m referring to Little House on the Prairie from the 1970’s and 1980’s).  Life is not Duck Dynasty, though I love Willie Robinson’s bold and candid expressions of the Gospel and New Testament truth.  Life is not the latest Christian movie to come on the scene and touch the hearts of audiences (but I will say that God’s Not Dead did present the Gospel as clearly as any portrayal that I have ever witnessed in larger venue film).  Life is not movies or videos that depict the life of Christ like The Jesus Film, Jesus of Nazareth, or The Passion of the Christ.  These grip our hearts and stimulate us to see the life of our Lord, but John says that all the books of the world could not list all of Jesus works and miracles and life.  Hmm.  Are my statements pessimistic?  Am I labeling all these things as bad?  I’m not.  You may enjoy these things, but they are NOT the setting for your life, your world, your situation and your unique context.  They should NOT define your worldview or your values.  Even when “quality viewing” seems to touch the strings of your heart, it’s still like finding two diamonds deep in a large pile of manure.  You may find a few valuable pieces, but you get very dirty wading through everything else to find the treasure.  And you aren’t unaffected by it.  In fact, you’re worse off than without it.  Some of you may think this sounds legalistic.  It is not.  This is a call to prudence and sober thinking about what we view, how we perceive and interpret it and why some of our “better” viewing may just be a lesser evil and just another plot of the enemy to have us fall into the trap of Artificial Intimacy.  A sober evaluation of this requires spiritual maturity and a more “meaty” understanding of the Scriptures.  My heart is to make us think this: Am I filling my heart and soul with Artificial Intimacies?  If you are, then this article is for you.

TV, movies, FB and most social media (even including sports) and the internet promote Artificial Intimacy.  Artificial Intimacy can be defined as “the result of anything that promotes feelings of connectedness and closeness.”  Artificial Intimacy blurs the lines of reality and fantasy to create a passive distraction.  In it, we consume data and feelings are created.  We are emotionally manipulated, and we don’t even know it sometimes, if not often.  Artificial Intimacy is known by, but not limited to, the following defining factors:

  1. It disconnects us from real life (makes us want another life)

  2. It discontents us with real life (hmm, where is the secret of contentment?)

  3. It devalues real life and devalues the ordinary by craving the extraordinary

  4. It deceives our hearts and minds with world views that are less than biblical

  5. It disappoints us and is often quite idolatrous (promotes a false worship of something/someone) without ever really saying the word “idolatry” or “idol of the heart”

  6. It dramatizes everything that happens and looks to solve every problem

  7. It deepens our sinful desires for a good, comfortable life (not a cross-bearing, self-denying one)

  8. It doesn’t deliver the end of isolation and loneliness; it actually isolates us even more

  9. It lures us with tastes and hungry cravings for more entertainment and self-preoccupation

  10. It doesn’t tell you that the backdrop and setting for consumerism leaves us with a plethora of multiple choices, selfish humanism, false optimism, a gospel of social justice that trumps the Gospel of death and resurrection, a desire for more efficient and the faster version, a bow to rationalistic reason and a freedom of doings that go beyond biblical boundaries.

  11. It doesn’t tell you that as you are emotionally manipulated, you will feel more passive and actually more depressed.   Consumer and cultural absorption will fill the sponge of you if you haven’t soaked up the deeper truths of God in His Word and soaked up His presence.   Artificial Intimacy would never tell you that you’re given dirty and sick water from manmade cisterns (wells) as a trade off to our Lord’s living water for the heart (tough statements, but read them again).

  12. It will make you think that you are ruled by your rights and not by your responsibilities.  You are not ruled by your rights.  You are ruled by your responsibilities to the Savior and the King.  Artificial Intimacy calls you a victim, but the Bible calls you a culpable participant.

  13. It won’t tell you that it wants your theology to come from culture and the world; instead, your theology should stand against and infect the world’s sick heart with cures and antibodies.


Whether it’s TV, social media or even our cell phones, we have to ask this question: are we becoming over connected to Artificial Intimacy?  We fear a slowdown from Artificial Intimacy because silence and conversations often reveal what lives below the surface of our hearts.  Distractions and busyness are welcomed (in Artificial Intimacy) because they keep us away from sober, somber and prudent considerations.  Loud surroundings, the motion of commotion and the visually fast will always occupy and attempt to dominate our minds.  But it’s artificial.  Let’s get real, people.  Is your Intimacy Artificial?  Are you over connected?  What masters and enslaves you?  What is the noise that preoccupies your soul with distractions and stimulations?  We wrongly allow the enemy a foothold over the cacophony of our hearts ponderings and pains and the even the voice of God – Satan and the world love the silence of Artificial Intimacy.  And Artificial Intimacy is a god (a false one) who serves that very desire.  But it is deafening to our souls.  And the cost of Artificial Intimacy is vast.  It robs you of the gold of True Intimacy – being connected in a still and quieted soul to your Lord Jesus and the Spirit of God –

 

Watch Your Mouth!

(By Lois Robinson)

How many of you remember hearing someone say to you at some time in your life, “WATCH YOUR MOUTH!”. In my case, it was usually because I was saying something out of anger, trying to be funny or just saying something stupid because I felt like I was supposed to say something. Boy oh boy, the stupid things I have said to other people not intending any harm, but I question if I did.

This brings me to the blog for the week. I have wanted to write this one but delayed it, waiting for the right time. I actually had a completely different one started yesterday, but God laid it on my heart to keep that one for a later date and proceed with this one.

My first thought was to entitle this one, “The Stupid Things Christians Say!” but thought maybe that would be a bit too heavy handed. The intention of this blog is not to offend but to be very thought provoking and encourage you to take a deeper look at yourself and the things that come out of your mouth.

Proverbs 18:21 says this:

"Words kill, words give life;

   they’re either poison or fruit—you choose." (The Message)

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue,

   and those who love it will eat its fruits." (Revised Standard Version)

"The tongue has the power of life and death,

   and those who love it will eat its fruit." (New International Version)

Sometimes I get tired of writing about this journey God is allowing me to be on. It involves a great amount of suffering, to be very honest with you - physical suffering on an hourly basis that is controlled by daily medications.  The physical pain and the journey itself cause emotional suffering. I must take every thought captive and remember who my God is. He’s got me! He loves me! He is faithful and good! His plans are good for me! This journey is all apart of Him producing beautiful things in my life. Let’s face it, my life is not, and never was supposed to be, all about my comfort and happiness. It is ALL for His glory. My broken body is ALL for His glory! I have learned and grown a lot through this process, and it is far from over. There is a strong possibility that it will not be over until I see Him face-to-face, unless He chooses to do a miracle. He has before in my life, but it is completely up to Him. He knows best! :)

With all that said, here’s another thing I have learned: many people (not all) do not know what to say to me. In that, words have been very hurtful, sometimes taking me days to battle out of what someone has said in response to the disorder I have. I got to a place that I did not want to come to church because I was afraid of what well-meaning folks were going to say.  At this point, you are probably asking a few questions in your head. One may be, “What did people say to her?” The point of this blog is not to focus on what was said but for you to ask yourself about the things you may haphazardly say at times, meaning no harm. I will give you some examples from my personal journey, and other common things I hear people jokingly say, that have hurtful repercussions you may never know about.

My personal experience

  • Name calling- Handicaps can go first in line! HaHa, Gimpy, Tiny Tim

  • Why don’t you cut that leg off? You don’t need it! ( I never thought that I would ever be in a position where amputation was a very real option that deeply grieves me. Jokes of amputation are not funny)

  • People have actually sought me out to let me know people have it a lot worse than me. In response, I kindly say, “Yes, I am aware of that.”

 

Jokes about Suicide

  • Just shoot me now.

  • I want to hang myself.

  • Will somebody kill me now.

  • I want to find the nearest bridge.

 

And the list goes on. These are not funny. Many people have loved ones that actually did do the above and are forever changed because of that. Let’s not joke about the tragic.

 

Mental Disorder, Mental Disabilities, Addictions, Sexual struggles

  • You are retarded.

  • You act like a crack head.

  • You need a cheeseburger.

  • What are you, bipolar?

  • You’re gay, homo.

Jesus followers: this is a call to clean up our mouths and be sensitive to the very real issues that have torn others’ lives apart. My life has been forever impacted by every single issue that I mentioned above. When I hear others casually joke or use the tragic to be humorous, it offends me. I bet I’m not the only one. Please think about what you are going to say before saying it. Let’s get those filters working and remember:

"Words kill, words give life;

   they’re either poison or fruit—you choose." (The Message)

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue,

   and those who love it will eat its fruits." (Revised Standard Version)

"The tongue has the power of life and death,

   and those who love it will eat its fruit." (New International Version)

Proverbs 18:21

 

Amen and Amen!