Confessions of a Sleepaholic

Let’s talk about sleep. More specifically, what you should know about me and sleep.

My roommates used to joke about my obsession with sleep. They’d laugh at the death threats I’d send them via text if they didn’t quiet down in the living room. They’d joke about the groggy monster I was in the morning, knocking over chairs and shoving them out of the way for a cup of coffee. I think they were using humor as a coping mechanism.

I still hold a small but potent grudge against a certain group of gentlemen who, during one of our church’s summer ministry internships, woke a group of us up at 6 am to “make us breakfast.” I’d never heard of such a cruel joke in my life. I begged the girls not to open the door. “They’ll go away eventually and we can all go back to sleep!” I cried. Breakfast smeakfast.

During my internship with UrbanPromise, a couple of my housemates woke my roommate and I up in the middle of the night with firecrackers. Again, just a harmless prank but I later wept to my best friend, asking her, “why do they hate me so much that they’d wake me up?!”

So yeah, sleep is kind of my thing.

During this week’s Sunday service as Nate talked about worshipping God fully I was honestly pretty frustrated. I wasn’t connecting to any of the examples he gave of what we worship instead of God. That’s not to say I don’t struggle with fear of money or fear of man or anything else but it just wasn’t hitting home deep in my heart. I kept saying to God, “okay I know I’m not perfect, I know I have idols, so where is the conviction I need?!” But throughout the service, I was mostly just distracted. I was sooo tired. I kept thinking about how uncomfortable I was, how exhausted, how frustrated that I had so much to get done after I left church and that I didn’t feel like doing any of it.

Then it finally hit me. That’s all I can think about? I know exactly what my idol is.

Because I’d had already hit the snooze buttons about 5 times too many and showed up to the service a half hour later because I valued sleeping more. I wasn’t paying attention to the service or meeting God because I was focused on what I wanted or thought I needed.  I was dreading making time for people throughout my time and week because I just wanted to crash in front of the TV and hibernate.

My idol is comfort. It slips past me so often because it just feels like I’m living life. It doesn’t show up in the big choices but in the smallest moments and most ordinary thoughts. But seeking my own comfort inhibits me from loving God and people every single day. Even as I confessed to only thinking about myself and what I wanted I started noticing the people around me that I wanted to talk with and bless and love. I try not to give too much credit to my emotions in moments like that, but the peace and joy I felt were unmatched by anything but what God gives. Honest to goodness freedom.

God calls me to love and worship him even in the little cracks and crevices of my heart where there’s usually no room for anyone’s desires but my own. I know to look to God in the big stuff but just like every real relationship, its about commitment in the ordinary daily stuff too. 

        Author: 

        Jessica 

         Noblett

Discipline

(By Tammy Vaughn)

I thought that I would write a blog that touches on the area of discipline – the kind of discipline that is needed to do something that you do not really want to do but need to do.  Some things that immediately come to my mind are reading the Bible, eating in a healthy way, communicating hard things to people you love, exercising and maintaining your cool when you want to blow up.  The list goes on and on.  Here are some thoughts on discipline.

Discipline takes courage – courage to change.  It really does not take much courage to stay the way you are.  It is easy to remain in the same old unhealthy patterns of life.  For me, all the signs have pointed to me being unhealthy and slowly killing myself by what I was eating. However, change felt hard and staying in the same old way that I was felt easier, more comfortable.

Discipline is countercultural – to create a discipline means denying yourself of the thing that you want.  It includes self control.  In a culture that is all about getting what you want now and putting your own needs in front of the needs of others, denying one’s self is not the norm.  The truth is that if you want to create new patterns, new norms, you have to deny yourself.  It can be such a mind game.  I often find myself thinking, “This is not working; why am I wasting my time?”  Unfortunately, I then entertain the fearful thought that if I don’t do something to change my situation, I will be worse off and even dead.

Discipline can be difficult – quite honestly I get easily frustrated when I cannot see the results of change immediately.  I recently hit a plateau in weight loss.  I had to continue to follow my eating plan even though I was not losing weight.  This went on for a couple of months.  FRUSTRATING!!!   I started to give in to temptations, little ones, but they all add up.  Pretty soon I found myself justifying the little compromises.  The little indulgences became acceptable.  “After all”, I would tell myself, “the eating plan is not working.”  I knew, however, that I had to keep at it if I ever had the hope of losing more weight. 

Well, in the center of my desire to create new disciplines in my life is the person of Jesus.  I was dying in my old patterns of thought and behaviors.  Jesus Christ has stepped into my life and helped me create new ways of thinking, new patterns of behavior.  It is like he took the Holy Spirit flashlight and shined it on areas of my life that were a mess.  While Jesus stands ready to help us, he does not overstep our free will.  This is important to realize because it challenges the thought of a quick fix.  We all generally want a quick fix – “Jesus, take this addiction.  Jesus, give me money. Jesus, heal me.  Jesus, change my marriage.”  For me, I used to pray that Jesus would just take the weight off my body.   I believe that Jesus could melt my fat off my body in the middle of the night if He wanted to, but that hasn’t happened… yet. ☺  Instead, my daily pursuit of Him as God in my eating and exercise is how my pounds are melting away.  To be more specific, I look at what I eat and ask myself, “Does this glorify God?  Is this what He wants me to eat?  How should I manage my time so that I can add in exercise and glorify God with my body.”   “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own, you were bought at a price. Therefore glorify God with your bodies.”  I Corinthians 6:19-20 

That is deep!  I was bought with a price.  My freedom was purchased with a price,   Jesus’ very life.   And I still make the wrong choices.  HE did the work so that I could be free.  Unhealthy patterns of behavior and thought do not line up with us being more like Jesus daily.  I believe that while creating new patterns, God always meets our efforts.  I love that! In fact, what does it look like to the world when they see “Christians” stuck in unhealthy patterns of thinking leading to unhealthy patterns of behavior?  We look powerless and weak – not attractive or appealing and not a good representation of our Lord.

We serve a living God who is strong and mighty, who wants to help us as we walk in discipline and health.  As you take a personal inventory of the un-health in your life, what are the areas where God is calling you to make changes?  What is the discipline that you need to allow God to help you make so that you can be transformed to be more like Him?  How do we show the world, fellow believers as well as non-believers, the gospel in action? Discipline!

The Holidays: Not the Cover of Better Homes and Gardens

(By Lois Robinson)

WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FELL AND THINK ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS?

 AHHH, the holidays! For some it is an, “AHHH, I can’t wait until the Holidays are over!” And yet others say, “AHHH, Yeah! I can’t wait for the holidays to be here!” Whereas others say, “I’m numb, and it really doesn’t feel like the holidays because of very significant losses that have happened.”

I admit, I have experienced all of the above to some degree. But usually I find myself getting very self-focused and wanting to experience a form of utopia, sometimes literally expecting that picture on the front of a magazine where the whole family is gathered in the beautifully decorated BIG home with the fireplace aglow while everyone smiles and laughs with little appetizers in their hands. The table would be set with more silverware than I know what to do with, the huge delectable turkey in the middle of the table and everyone holding hands thanking God for His blessings. Dinner would be wonderful! No uncomfortable silences, everyone engaged with each other, not a cross word would be exchanged. We would all connect in meaningful ways. Then the coffee and MANY pies would be served. More laughing would occur as we moved into the huge living room with the fireplace (can’t leave that out!) as we began to play games as a family- fully knowing each other, connecting and engaging. Oh, can’t leave out the 6 inches of snow that spontaneously began to fall as well! AHHH, the Holidays!

 FUN WOULD BE HAD BY ALL!!!

 Well, I can honestly say, I have never really experienced that scenario with my family. What I have experienced is some of the above- the fireplace all aglow, some laughing, many awkward silences, forced conversation with some, ministering to some, holding my tongue with others and at times tactfully rebuking inappropriate behaviors demonstrated by the Christians in our family. I believe my family represents a microcosm of the world.

VERY MESSY AND UNCOMFORTABLE

Why is this?? Aren’t the holidays supposed to be celebratory? Hmmm. Yes, but we must remember what we are celebrating!

Is Thanksgiving a time when we engorge ourselves and say thank you out loud for everything we have but make sure we keep it short so the food doesn’t get cold? Laughing and getting a buzz?  Kicking back because, “Darn it, I deserve a break from all the stress!” Christmas has its own scene going on, and unfortunately it doesn’t involve the manger scene- that gets squeezed in where it can fit. It has become a HUGE event that the advertisers enjoy showing more and more commercials of what we need, what to buy so we can be cool (of course) and where to get it. Pipe in the Christmas scents through the store ventilation, play the music and put up the Santa so people will help us make more money for the stores revenue!!! YEAH!!!!!

Friends, is that what the Holidays are really about?  NO!

Thanksgiving is a time that we celebrate what we are thankful for. In the Christian faith, we are primarily thanking God for who He is, what He has done through Jesus and how He has provided for us. It’s not about us. Christmas is about us celebrating Jesus. Yes, Jesus. He came to save us from our brokenness- our broken families, our broken lives, even our broken hearts when our idealistic holiday picture didn’t happen the way we imagined. He came for the picture I described my family to be.

I wonder what your experiences are with the holidays. Where are you in your life? What are you looking forward to? What you are dreading?  Or you may just  want to wake up when it’s all over. I don’t know where you are, but I know where I want to be. I want to keep focused on the One the holidays exist for. I want to be a part of the holiday where I can be used by the Savior Himself to bring about change in a broken world, a broken family, my own broken life. I know that Jesus says in John 12:32, “And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself (ESV).”

I would encourage all of us to be focused on this verse during the holiday season. I do believe that when we live that verse out, we will actually get closer to the picture I dream about. 

Hmmm, new thought. Maybe that desire I have is actually from God. When we get to the Great Banquet in Heaven :) A promise for all those that have placed faith in the One we celebrate,  Jesus Christ.

                          Blessings, My Friends

The Book of Love is Long and Boring

Dominick Baruffi

here are very few things that I am sure of in life. For instance, I am sure that the man who invented the sandwich deserves sainthood, knighthood, and a battlefield commission. I am sure that the push-to-start sink faucet was the worst idea ever. And I am fairly sure that nobody puts baby in a corner. Beyond that, all of life is a mystery to me. 

But when I consider myself, I find there is another thing that I am sure of: I am sure that I am hardwired for love. The funny thing is that I cannot really tell you why I feel this way, nor that I am even sure I know what I mean when I say it. I guess you could say that I’ve seen too many movies, or that I’m just being romantic and idealistic. But for whatever reason, I find that I speak about my desire for love with tremendous confidence. I seek it unconsciously, the way I seek water when I’m thirsty. I want to be loved.

Here’s what’s interesting about this: even as I seek to be loved, I find I’m not very good at loving others. I guess I try to love people, but only up to a point. Whenever it inconveniences me, I can usually excuse myself out of whatever I need to do. Typing these words is both embarrassing and convicting, but it’s the truth. 

When I was growing up, my youth pastor taught me that love is a selfless concern for another’s best good. Not a bad definition, all things considered. Today, however, I want to suggest a slight amendment.

There’s a song by Peter Gabriel called “The Book of Love” that begins with a fantastic line: “The book of love is long and boring.” It sounds like he’s talking about waiting for a bus, doesn’t it? As far as adjectives go, “long and boring” is about as un-sexy as it gets. But I think he’s right. Too often, we confuse love with passion. But the times that I’ve felt most loved are not necessarily full of passion. Honestly, they’re pretty mundane and routine. But usually it involves someone in my life moving towards me in a time when I didn’t deserve it or didn’t appreciate it. I treasure these memories, and most of them are, frankly, quite boring. They revealed a love that was willing to endure me at less than my best.

This is exactly the kind of love we see God exhibiting towards his people in the Bible. We see it in the person of Jesus Christ, born in humiliating circumstances and suffering servant of all. Jesus does not endure the life He endured because he felt like it. He did so because God had made a covenant with his people, and He bound Himself to his word. “Feeling” had little to do with it, and his death was the single greatest act of love the world has ever seen. That’s because Jesus knew something about love that we often forget: love is not cheap. Anything that says otherwise is a lie. Love is more than just a concern for another’s good. It’s a commitment to endure, even in times when we’d rather not.

It’s easy for us to follow the path of least resistance when it comes to relationships. It’s less work. We don’t much care for long or boring if we can help it; the easier and more convenient, the better. But that is not how God defines love. When we look at Scripture, we find a God who demonstrated His love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Jesus died for us. His love was characterized primarily by patience and long-suffering. He was committed to his people. That’s what covenant means: a binding agreement to never give up. Just as the Father comes running to his prodigal son when he comes wandering home, so does our Father run to meet us when we come to Him. If we’re going to call ourselves Christians, we need to love people like that.

So as we gear up for yet another holiday season, let us be the kind of people willing to love others in small ways, boring ways, ways that test our patience and drive us nuts. Let us make our neighborhoods and our cities marvel at our unrelenting commitment to never give up on them. Because the book of love is long and boring. But I love it when my God reads it to me. And I love it when we read it together, for His glory and the good of all peoples.

The Joy of A Painful Journey

(By Thor Knutstad)

Proverbs 14:10 – Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share in its joy.

Empathy can sometimes be overrated.  When we feel understood by another person, our heart feels a connection – a safety of sorts.  They seem to be able to step back in time with us into the darkest and most painful moments of life.  Our hearts want to rest in the compassionate sympathy of someone else walking in our shoes.  At a simple glance, even the most seasoned theologian will read the above verse and want to hone in on the word “bitterness.”  The legalism of a moral stance is taken, and we wrongly assume that the wise poet is saying something about forgiveness or maybe resentment.  But that isn’t what he is saying at all.  The first part of the verse says something like this (as I can best translate in my biblical vernacular): “Every person’s journey is unique to him or her – only that person knows how they have suffered, been under tests and trials and hurt in pain through heart moments individually.”

This is not a stance against empathy.  Empathy comes from the one who has experienced something similar or who can, at minimum, feel what has been experienced.  But when I read the wisdom of Proverbs 14:10, I am reminded that my journey has this unique direction – it’s made just for me.  And it’s not just about pain and suffering; it’s also about my joy.  In other words, I am the only one who really gets the good things in my life – these things that absolutely elate my heart and bring happiness.  I don’t think that there is a distinction between the temporary and the eternal here, but it appears that the lean is on the earthly and the “earthy” of this present and pre-eternal life.  So whether in my pain or in my joy, only my heart has lived in that context and within all that history of moments both individually and accumulated.  Of course, our ever present God was and is there through all the moments and sees into my overall heart, but others really cannot – not my wife, not my husband, not my pastor, not my counselor and not even anyone in my family.

The reason a verse like this ought to prick our hearts is to remind us that though we think we see into the depths and the scope of another’s life, we cannot and we do not.  When we wrongly do this or some variance thereof, we border on being a Pharisee.  Our counsel is full of shoulds, woulds, oughts and ought nots.  Our assumptions judge the moments and another’s varied responses and reactions.  We label reaping and sowing and consequence without marrying this to God’s grace and mercy – which only He can ever do in His magnificent combination of omniscience and sovereignty.  I think maybe I can say that our God knows His own pain of weep and magnanimous joy simultaneously.  The best illustration of this is in our Lord Jesus, where the cross merges in all of history.  It’s a bitter moment to watch Your Son be beaten, be mocked, be condemned and be crucified – sad, painful and fearful.  But it is joy knowing that Your wrath (God’s) over sin is fully satisfied by the cross and that sin is paid for – fully.  Joy.  And the resurrection awaits.  God’s joy, eternal fellowship and bliss await.  The pivotal moment of the cross forever changes history because it merges perfectly both suffering and joy.  God gets it.  He lives it as a Father, and He lives it as a Son.  He lives it as the Spirit who permeates our lives and walks each step in us and with us.  In this we can rest.  In all the bitterness there is joy.  And an even greater joy awaits us still yet.  Praise Him.

An Old Phrase or A Misinterpreted Truth

(By Diego Cuartas)

Recently someone asked me what my thoughts were concerning a common phrase we often use in our Christian circles. The phrase: “God will not give you more than what you can bear”. This is not exactly what the Apostle Paul said to the Corinthians more than 2,000 years ago, but the phrase is rooted in the first letter he wrote to them. Paul said: “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it” (10:13, NAS).

If I were to go by human experience, I would have to emphatically say that God does allow me to experience realities that honestly go beyond myself. I have often found those realities unmanageable or out of my control for the most part. And so in that sense they are more than what I can bear or handle. So, this common phrase is one that deserves careful thought or it has the risk of having the same misunderstood popularity as the phrase “God helps those who help themselves”--if it hasn't already. My hope is that you would be inspired to do diligent study of the truth expressed through the Apostle Paul and arrive to more concise, biblical conclusions rather than be left to lean on a common phrase that may represent a misinterpreted truth. Can I give you another motivator? The truth Paul is expressing in 1 Corinthians 10:13 is one we need to apply to our lives as a sail is to a boat on a daily basis. It is a truth that can set the direction of your heart as you face testing or temptation.

First observation: the word used in the beginning of verse 13, peirasmos, denotes testing or temptation.  What Paul has in mind is not only temptation but different testing we experience in life. The testing or temptation is described as what is “common to man,” so in this sense it would not be appropriate to believe that what we may be facing is somehow the result of being singled out by God—others are experiencing similar testing or temptation.

Second observation: this truth is given to us in the context of a warning against testing Christ through our responses to testing or temptation. Through the example of how Israel, the people of God, tested him, we are warned about not doing the same thing. The warning is followed by an exhortation to examine ourselves regarding how we stand before our present difficulties. Paul desires for us to hold on to the fact that God will be faithful to help us in our time of need. Though testing and temptation are common to man, your experience or suffering in it is not generic, it requires specific grace only God can offer to you.

Third observation: there is an illustration elsewhere from Paul's life that shows that we are indeed tested or tempted, at times, beyond our abilities. In 2 Corinthians 1:8 Paul reported: “we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself.” Notice that Paul very clearly states that the pressures he and others were facing were “far beyond [their] ability to endure” and that experience led them to despair.

My conclusion, contrary to the old phrase or misinterpreted truth, is that this verse is not saying that you will only experience testing or temptation within your abilities to handle. Ready for the encouraging news? I believe what this verse is saying is that the reason you will not be tested or tempted beyond your abilities is because God promises to provide you with the way to escape or the grace to be able to bear patiently what you are facing. And somewhere in between, as John Calvin believed, God “sets limits to the temptation” (Calvin's Commentary on the Bible, studylight.org).  What is happening here is that the emphasis is on God's grace made available to you, not how much you are able to bear.

Friend, at times you will, like Paul, celebrate the fact that you have been rescued from difficult times or given the way out to escape as it was reported in 2 Timothy 3:10-11. At other times, like in the case of slaves who believed in Christ, the Apostle Peter would encourage them and commend them because they were bearing up “under the pain of unjust suffering because they [were] conscious of God” (1 Peter 2:19). The point is whether you are being rescued or given the help to endure, God will be faithful to you in your situation.

A few further truths/questions to meditate on...

You will be tested.(2 Timothy 3:12)
You will learn to decrease as you trust in God in the midst of tests and temptations. (2 Corinthians 1:9)
God will deliver, you can hope in Him. (2 Corinthians 1:10)
Sowing through prayer you and others will reap a harvest of thanksgiving. (2 Corinthians 1:11)

In what ways are you being stretch beyond your abilities?
How is God helping you escape testing/temptation in your life?
How is God helping you endure testing/temptation in your life?

Christmas is coming…my tree is getting fat?

Sarah Howard

View fullsize

very year, I run into the fact that I’m not content with my Christmas tree decorations. I don’t really care for the color red. It’s probably my least favorite color. But somehow, the majority of the ornaments on our tree have ended up being…red. So every year, I daydream about my ideal tree, and I kind of sneer at our current decorations. As weird as it sounds, I feel this…drive to have this ideal tree that I picture in my mind. It feels like I’ll be more happy, more content, when my tree is decorated the way I want it to be.

    This year, I was flipping through a magazine and I saw a picture of a wreath. Instantaneously, I knew that I had found my muse for our tree. It was the exact style of what I’ve wanted and I knew I could easily reproduce the same decorations on the larger scale of a Christmas tree. Again, as strange as it sounds, I was seriously excited about this new decorating scheme. I was ready to trash all of our existing stuff and hit up Target right away.

    Right in the middle of my thoughts and plans for our tree, though, God showed up. He dropped a random thought into my mind that I would have never expected at that moment. He said to me, “In the United States, we’ve moved from the defining characteristic of our possessions being functionality, to the defining characteristic being beauty. Because of the wealth that Americans experience, that you simply have a possession is no longer enough. Now if you already have it, but that possession isn’t necessarily perfect to you, it seems ok to replace it for the sake of beauty.”

    Honestly, that thought shocked me. It made me realize that I can so easily be literally wrapped up in thoughts about how to perfect my possessions…but God might have a better way, a better story. 

    Now, I’m certainly not trying to imply that our things and our homes, including our Christmas trees, should NOT be beautiful. In fact, if you look at creation, God made things to be both functional AND beautiful. However, I think there’s more to my Christmas tree example than just a creative expression that reflects God. 

    What I think God was gently saying to me, was, that I, like many Americans, am a subconscious slave to materialism and consumerism. Somewhere along the line, because we are a rich enough society to already HAVE things (like tree decorations), the main focus of our possessions is no longer necessity or functionality; beauty has become the main ‘need.’ We’re no longer content with just having possessions…they have to be perfect, ideal, exactly in style, exactly what we like. 

    ‘So what’s wrong with that?’ you might ask. Well, here are my initial thoughts as I think through the lens of my current tree situation. 

1. If my thoughts about decorating my tree this year are all wrapped up in getting new decorations and decorating my tree perfectly, I’m probably valuing the beauty of my tree. There might be other values that, if I were more settled about my tree, I could focus my energy on: like my family. Like the incarnation. Like my neighbors. 
2. Consumerism and materialism say that I have to keep buying MORE, accumulate MORE, and have nicer, better, prettier things. I just don’t think that that’s what Jesus would say. I think He’d value being content, settled, and restful. I think He’d want me to know that my value is never determined by my Christmas tree or by my ability to decorate it well.
3. And lastly, God says many times in the Bible that He has a huge concern for the poor. He calls people that love Him to partner with Him in caring for the poor. I think He would want to adopt His value system in every area of my life, even Christmas trees. I think He’d want me to wrestle through how His values could be worked out practically in my life, in the middle of the United States.

Honestly, those 3 thoughts don’t sound too pleasant to me. They sound like a lot of work to think through. And it’s pretty ingrained in me that my possessions will save me: they’ll make me safe, they’ll make me significant, they’ll give me ‘the good life.’ But last weekend, at the Parent Summit, Pastor Nate said something that has stuck with me the past few days: “We’re driven to get the ‘Good Life’ (i.e. clothes, food…tree decorations). We don’t believe that Jesus is good. But as we meditate on the Gospel, we say I think His story is better than mine, and I let go of my false view of salvation and I’m freed of my story. I can then follow God’s leadership and what He puts on my heart.”

As I let go of the story to which I’ve clung so tightly, that beautiful possessions will save me, God has room to bring a better story into my life: a story about a Person saving me. A Person making me safe. A Person making me significant. And that Person is Jesus. 

So…I’d love to hear some feedback. Most people would say I’m crazy and legalistic to say that God wants to touch on the area of my Christmas tree. What do you think? Are there areas that God is challenging you to adopt His story for your life instead of your own?

Weighed Down!

(By Tammy Vaughn) 

Lately I have been learning a lot about the process of losing weight.  I started this journey in February 2013.  My current diet is mostly based on Dr. Fuhrman’s “Eat To Live” plan.  It is a way of eating that has totally changed my life.  It has been eight months now, and I have lost 62 pounds.  What once seemed impossible is now happening little by little.  How did this radical change all start?  It started with me feeling hopeless and helpless.

My father passed away in November 2011 from a very rare and aggressive cancer called Sarcamatoid Carcinoma.  The medical personnel kept saying that they could not get the proper read on certain medical tests because of his large habitus.  “Large habitus?”  It dawned on me that they were referencing his overweight body.  The words “large habitus” would ring in my ears.  Was it not awful enough that he had rare and aggressive cancer and was dying?  Did they have to keep referring to his 350 pound body as a “large habitus?”  This made me angry for a couple reasons, but mostly because it made me wonder what future medical treatments would be difficult for me since I also had a “large habitus”.  Two weeks after my father’s diagnosis, my family had to make the difficult decision to take my father off of life support. Now let me say, I know that my father is with Jesus, so I rest and take comfort in that.

The next life event that made me focus on my weight was a knee surgery that I had in June 2012.  My knee just never quite healed, and in the process of treatment, my doctor told me I would eventually need double knee replacements.  I had just turned 40 years old.  One of the main contributing factors to the decline in my knees was due to my “large habitus.”  The key to putting off knee replacement surgery was to lose weight.

I was frustrated, embarrassed and in pain.  It was sobering to think I would need surgery due to beating my knees down daily with my weight.  Finally it was all catching up to me.  The pain was so bad in my knee that I just thought to myself on several occasions, “I am going to have to live my life in a wheelchair or scooter.”  I was getting comfortable, coming to a resolve that this was how it was going to be.  I want you to understand how hopeless I felt.  I was going to give up!  After all, I had been on every diet you could imagine, including an all liquid diet for weeks.  Nothing worked, and now I was looking at major surgery if I did not lose weight.  Now a scooter or mobilized wheelchair is fine IF this is what is genuinely needed.  For me however, I would end up in the power chair because I was overweight and did nothing about it.  I would be choosing to live in defeat.

In talking to a close friend about this, I told her that, “I want to know the resurrection power of Jesus Christ in this area of my life.”  To me this was a way to say, “Jesus, this area of my life is dead, hopeless, lifeless, stagnant, even sinful, but the resurrection power can bring what is dead back to life.”  Paul said, “I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection” (Phil 3:10).

I have experienced that power in other areas of my life, so I know Jesus gives us access to this power.  In fact, this is the reason He victoriously came and conquered death—so that I do not have to live defeated.  Yet I was choosing just that.  I knew in my head that Jesus has the power to heal and change people; I just did not believe it could happen for me, in this area of my life.  Oh me of little faith!  Here I had access all along to the power to change.  I just felt extremely hopeless and overwhelmed.  One large uphill battle!

While on a family vacation in January 2012, my brother came to me and told me about an eating plan he and my sister-in-law were going to follow.  He said he saw me struggling and wanting to lose weight.  He then offered to journey with me, not just to lose weight but also to get healthy.  He presented Dr. Fuhrman’s “Eat To Live” book and plan to me.  It was radical.  He told me I would have to radically change how you eat.  He said “I know you can know the resurrection power of Jesus Christ in this area of your life.  You pray about it.”  I did not really need to pray about it; I had prayed the same prayer earlier that week- to know the resurrection power of Jesus Christ.  Reluctant to start yet another “diet” only to fail, I told him I was in!

Well, fast forward eight months.  With the help of Jesus, good accountability, support from my family and friends and Dr. Fuhrman’s medical team in North Jersey, I have lost 62 pounds.  I have gone down five pant sizes and two shirt sizes.  Seems like a miracle to me some days; other days it’s not enough and I still have a long way to go.

I believe that Jesus will continue to help me lose weight.  It is not easy.  At times I want to give up.  But Jesus has helped give me the strength to resist temptation, to persist and be disciplined one meal at a time.  I have knowledge about food that I did not have before.  And knowledge is power.  I don’t see quitting as an option, although I want to some days.  I can really feel God doing something new in my body and in my mind.  I’m often encouraged by 2 Corinthians 5:17, “If any is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come.”

I value the support of my brothers and sisters in Christ.  I also call out to my brother when I am struggling or feel I cannot eat one more salad.  God uses him to encourage me to get back on track.   I view my eating as an act of worship unto the Lord.  My body belongs to Him; it is His temple.  Romans 12:1 says, “Therefore I urge you brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God.  This is your spiritual act of worship.”  I cannot possibly do all God has called me to do while slowly destroying my body and eventually killing myself with food.  I was created for more than just drowning in my own fat!  Maybe this sounds extreme.  It is not extreme to me when I think about watching my father die in Cooper Hospital because he had tumors growing inside the fat of his abdomen that they could not see because of his “large habitus”.  It motivates me to keep going.

I am fully aware that it will not happen on my own strength alone.  I am so grateful for my wonderful loving Savior who loves me and cares about me and gave me a new sense of hope in this area of my life.  The praise is all due to Him!  I hope you feel encouraged to present the areas of your life where you feel hopeless and defeated to Jesus.  Pray and tell Him that you want to know the resurrection power of Jesus Christ in that area of your life.  That power is available to all of His Children.  I hope someone is shouting Amen somewhere! I know I am!

God Will

Nancy Vasquez

Sin is hopeless.

 As a kid going to Christian school and attending church, I heard enough sermons about sin to last me a lifetime. Don’t do this. Don’t say that. Don’t even think about it. Fix your attitude. Be better. Try harder. 

I left high school with a sense that I was pretty much a failure. God loved me in some vague way, Jesus died for my sins, but I could never seem to “get it together.” The bouts of depression and anxiety that were a part of my life for as long as I could remember never seemed to totally go away, no matter how hard I tried to improve my attitude or say or do the right things to make God happy.

I did what a lot of young people are doing. I left church altogether. I was bitter and defeated and didn’t belong among all the others who had their “perfect” Christian lives in order: Christian college, marriage, kids, career. Me? I was very successful in college and career, but I didn’t belong with all of those who had the answers, the keys to God’s approval, as I saw it. God’s grace covered me in a thousand ways during these “lost years,” but I didn’t see it until later. I only returned to church in my thirties when I came to the end of myself and knew I had no emotional reserves left.  It was a move of sheer desperation.

God has revealed Himself to me in tremendous ways over the past several years since that move. But when I realized the sermon last week was going to be on sin and atonement, I reflexively wanted to bolt out of fear. I felt like that confused and sad teenager all over again. 

My fears were challenged by the following passage from Ezekiel quoted during the sermon:

I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.  (Ezekiel 36:25-27 ESV)

Look at how many times the phrase “I will” is used in this passage. God is telling His people what HE WILL DO FOR US! He wants our repentance, but He is the one doing the heavy work of changing us. I don’t have to “get it together” alone and live in a cycle of trying harder and failing. HE WILL do the things He has promised for me.

It is human nature to try and do everything independently. Anyone who has spent time around toddlers can attest to the constant attitude of “I can do it myself!” Little kids want to do everything themselves even when they have a team of adults willing to help. We never really lose this desire for independence, and it wreaks havoc on our relationship with God and our understanding of the Gospel.

 We can’t do anything ourselves, but so often we latch on to the idea that we can. We do this even when we have Almighty God saying that HE WILL do tremendous things to us and for us. We get frustrated and give up even when the only resource we need has promised to do the work of changing our hearts.

Sin is hopeless. Our God is not. Jesus’ death and resurrection are proof of God’s ultimate power to change us.

Where is your hope today? What will God do for you today to change you?

Diagnosis Code 911: BUSZERKITI

(By Lois Robinson)

 Description- A tendency to stay very BUSY that can lead to a disorder called
GOING BERSERK

I was driving to work one morning this week, stopped at a red light and thought, ”Hmmm, busy and berserk start the same. That’s interesting!” That is how my brain tends to work. Think I will write a blog about that.

So, I get to the office. I then reflect on statements that I hear from the majority of the many people I chat with....

“It’s been such a BUSY week”
“ Our kids are so BUSY”
“We are too BUSY to go to TFL classes”
“We were too BUSY to get to worship this week”
“We are too BUSY to pray together”
“I am too BUSY to spend time with God”
“I’m too BUSY to come to counseling”
“We are too BUSY to invest in our marriage”
“I am so BUSY at work”
“I have to stay BUSY because I can’t stand down time”
“BUSY is my middle name!”
“There is not enough time in the day because I am soooo BUSY”
“I am too BUSY to eat right”

BUSY, BUSY, BUSY, BUSY, BUSY, BUSY, BUSY, BUSY, BUSY, BUSY, BUSY!!!!!

My friends:) These are the statements that people truly believe but the truth is:

B  - BEING

U  - UNDER

S   - SATAN’S

Y   - YOKE

Often BUSYNESS is a tool of the enemy that pulls us away from our Savior and feeds the false gospel of saving ourselves.

There is no way any of us can hear God’s still small voice in BUSYNESS.

I used to buy into the American cultural belief system that staying BUSY meant that you were an active, contributing member of society that would be a successful, prestigious person who would have a great big house and blinged out car, get married and have a bunch of kids. That was success!  That was fulfilling the American Dream, right? I went BERSERK!! I really did. I began to feel empty, working many jobs at one point in my life to pay bills, and seek relationships as medication. The next chapter: I entered COUNSELING!!! I began to seriously seek God’s plan for my life. At this point, I live in a wonderful little house, drive a car that works, I am not married and have no children. I love my life!!! Because it is the life God has called me to. I would have been miserable if I continued to strive and pursue what my then friends, family and work said I was supposed to be and look like.

This is a lie my friends. It leads to a lifestyle that felt like I was going BERSERK! Have you ever felt that way, or was it just me??

I would encourage you to not let the “calendar monster,” as I call it, fill up with BUSYNESS. Set those boundaries. Say ‘Yes’ to life-giving things that lead you to Jesus and ‘No’ to those things He is NOT calling you to- even taking roles in the church ministries!

He has made you special, unique and one-of-a-kind. You have a unique design on your life and a purpose to live out. It is your responsibility to protect those gifts and talents that He has given you :)

Learning to say Yes and learning to say No prevents BUSZERKITIS. It is a painful disorder and I encourage you to take steps to avoid it!

A statistical glimpse of Nate and Sharon’s Trip to Russia and Ukraine

Number of days away from Vineland: 18

Number of countries visited: 2 (Russia and Ukraine)

Number of cities visited: 3 (Moscow, St. Petersburg, Sevastopol)

Minimum number of hours worked per day: 13

Number of CMA workers we met with personally: 24 adults and 22 kids

Number of nights slept in a different bed than the previous night: 13

Miles traveled between major cities: 12,010 miles 

Modes of travel: 7 (walk, taxi, mini-bus, airplane, train, subway, cars)

Number of group teaching/sharing sessions: 11

Number of odd foods tasted: (ask us if you want to know)

Number of Russian words learned (kind of...it I a really hard language): 18

Number of times we fell: 2 (Sharon in the airport, and Nate on an elderly lady in the subway)

We are so thankful that our church supported us for a second year in this trip as the pastoral care couple for our CMA workers here in Russia and Ukraine. God deeply touched our hearts as we got an up-close view of their lives, families, and ministries. We were in almost every worker’s home. We ate with them, played with their kids; we walked with them in their neighborhoods, and rode in their subways. Time after time we heard powerful stories of how God has called them and given them grace to give their lives to be light in a very dark area of the world.  Moscow alone has 15 million people, 2 million are Central Asians. Few know Jesus. Life here is not easy for them or their children, but they faithfully give themselves to learning the language, adapting to the culture, and intentionally building relationships with people in order to share the Gospel of Jesus.

We cried as we held one final meeting with the Moscow team. We thanked them for their gift of opening their hearts to us.  They wanted to make sure we expressed how grateful they are that we took the time to know them personally and to listen to the burdens they carry in their role here.  They asked us to thank our church for sending us and supporting our partnership through prayer and your gifts.  

Living Faith Alliance Church, please know that your lives and partnership with North and Central Asia are making a difference!

NCA Worker's Blog: "They Are Always Watching"

Check out an NCA worker's blog: My 2 Rubles' Worth. It's a good reminder of why we do things like the Parent Summit.  

Loving Sheep

 (By Thor Knutstad)

Christian man, Christian woman, do you radically risk entry into the journeys of others? Do you walk with people, the sheep of God's Pasture? You see, it is more than listening, asking questions, spending time with, and providing the opinion of counsel. Do you help them imagine God's Dream for them? Do you speak hope, vision, and a future beyond the context of their current struggle? Do you have a wise "heart aim" in their world? Do you know how to love a sheep? Yes - we warn profusely. We beckon with practical wisdom. We admonish with advice. But there's more to it than that. Much more.

If you're willing to touch the dirt and the dirty details of someone else's life, you will get dirty - but do you take that dirt and fashion it like clay? Do you love that person with fascination for God's creation on them and speak with creative imagination into their very hearts? Do you awaken the heart for sunrises and horizon moments? Do you speak TO them and not AT them? Hmmm. Rereading that last full sentence would do us all some good.

As you address the burdens of another's very soul, you will either heavy or lighten that same load. When you lighten the load, you bring clarity of vision to God's calling. You evoke their own imagination. You have loved well. You have cared for a soul. You have saved one sheep. You have been like The Shepherd - and joy abounds --- in you, in that person, in Even The Shepherd Himself. Praise Him.

Thinking About Leaving the Church?

(By Diego Cuartas) 

The thought of leaving the church, the local body of believers, is probably one of those thoughts that every believer has wrestled with at some point and I suspect more often than not.

In recent weeks I have been drawn to this subject, given that in church ministry this is an ongoing reality to be dealt with. A word picture that best describes this dynamic is the word wave. At one point the wave is low, and then it comes in stronger. As I reflect on this interesting dynamic, I see that this may be one of the most common threats the church of God is experiencing in our day. In some ways, the dynamic seems ironic. How is it that the people, who have been rescued from their own ways, reconciled with Christ and baptized into the one body, find it easy to practice not the “leaving and cleaving” but rather “cleaving and leaving”? I realize I am using a phrase that points to covenant relationship between a man and a woman as prescribed by God in the book of Genesis. However, the relationship between believers is nothing less than based on the greatest form of covenant ever- a people betrothed through the covenant blood of Jesus.

Should we never find reasons to wisely consider leaving our fellowship within a local body and join another? I do believe there are clear provisions made to discern if this should even be considered. Biblically speaking, we are given instructions on how to approach conflict with other believers (Mt.18), how to approach elders against whom you may have an accusation or a charge (1 Tim. 5:19-20), how to regard spiritual authority over us (Heb.13:17) and when to question their standards (1 Pet. 5:3, 1 Tim. 3:1-3). Furthermore, we are instructed to consider “overlooking” certain faults (Prov. 12:16) or even apply our love in a way that it “covers multitude” of sins (1 Pet. 4:8).

What I want to discourage in our common day is a low view of the Body of Christ, which is reflected in the way some deal with personal conflict or disappointment. The reality is that though we are the people of God, the presence of sin is still an obvious characteristic of those who have fallen short of His glory. So when we participate in the life and service of a local body, we need to bring or recover a mentality of “leaving and cleaving”. What that means is that having cleared up the way behind us, we now use our strength to cleave unto this group of people, the community of faith with whom God has blessed us for good! We participate in a way in which we seek the “common good” by fostering the life of Christ in others and bringing to the table what Christ has invested in us (1 Cor. 12).

Ready for this? I am a pastor, and in the years I have served I have been bombarded with innumerable thoughts that seek to justify quitting the local body. So you are not alone if you have or are struggling with thoughts of this nature. What I have learned are simple lessons that I hope may offer you perspective. I have learned that it is important to bring to God my disappointments and to ask Him to shepherd me through those. I have found it helpful to share what I am thinking with someone mature in whom I can confide. Often times when I let the thoughts “fester” in my mind, they gain too much influence over me. The more I stay just with me and my thoughts, the more I become subjective and more distorted in my thinking. Considering the Word of God is essential to keeping our hearts walking in the integrity of His will and the process that is driving us to a specific action. Recently, through another pastor, I learned that sometimes I need to fight (because I am being attacked in the spiritual realm) and sometimes the issue is that I need to grow up (because I am immature).

Here is my last appeal to you. The clearest evidence to the world that we are the disciples we claim to be, happens when we “love each other” in real time and life (Jn. 13:35). I believe the present wave of people leaving the church does not add to this testimony, but, on the contrary, in most cases it takes away from it.

Thinking about leaving the church? Think again, but do it biblically and wisely. The matter you are facing may reveal that you need to grow up or fight a spiritual enemy or perhaps leave.

You are NOT alone! Top 10 Words of Wisdom from CCEF Conference

Sherry Engel

This past weekend I had the amazing opportunity to attend the Christian Counseling Education Foundation conference in Frisco, Texas.  It was an uplifting experience, with great insights into relationships with each other and with our triune God.  I thought I’d share my top ten pieces of wisdom gained.  You can find more info on these great sessions as well at www.CCEF.org. 

1. God is intentional with His relationships.  He sought you. ~ David Powilson

• When you feel alone, what can you do to recall the intentional, pursuing love that God has for you?

2. All relationships, and each interaction within that relationship, are intentional.  You are either building bridges or walls. ~ David Powilson

• Take one person, think about your interactions with them.  What are you doing to build bridges or walls?

3. Jesus keeps us warm because this world is cold.  ~Elyse Fitzpatrick

4. Dating is a mutual ministry, mutual delight.  ~ Alasdair Groves

• Are you and the person you are dating pointing each other to Christ? Helping each other grow spiritually?

5. The role of a friend is to help you renarrate your life in the light of Jesus Christ. ~ Mike Emlet

• How intentional are you with your friendships?  Do you know people well enough to do this?

6. Definition of compassion:  Being moved by the hardships of another.  Truly bearing the other person’s burden.  Compassion breaks through isolation.  Jesus enters into our hardships.  He is moved.  He acts. ~ Ed Welch

• How are you showing compassion to those closest to you?

7. The Holy Spirit doesn’t just represent the power of Christ, but the very Presence of Christ.  You are NOT alone. ~ Winston T Smith

• Can you think of one verse that demonstrates Jesus’ presence with us through the Holy Spirit?

8. God  creates.  The world corrupts.  We must build bridges with our children to help them interpret life in Godly ways.  We must pursue our children and be intentional in our discussions. ~ Julie Lowe

• What barriers do you find in building these bridges with your children?

9. With false peace, comes bad fruit.  Conflict is necessary.  Jesus uses it. ~ Cecelia Bernhardt

• What are you avoiding that is leading to bad fruit?

10. Marriage without friendship is the worst isolation.  Church without friendship is the worst isolation.  A friend is present and open his heart and mind to you. ~ Ed Welch

• Are you present in your friendships? Do you have an open heart and mind?  Are you intentionally seeking others?

Hey Look Out!

(By Tammy Vaughn) 

I was attending a picnic earlier this summer.  I was walking along a path and a friend was following behind me. We were carrying our stuff to a picnic table. Our hands were full and the load was heavy. She was walking in front of me and I was following behind her. She saw a huge hole in the ground and brought it to my attention.  She was alerting me so that I could change where I was walking since I was heading into a place of danger. I quickly changed direction; I listened to her and moved away from the hole and walked on solid ground. Had she not alerted me to the hole, I would have walked right into it. If I had fallen into this hole, I could have hurt myself severely. I could have fallen down, twisted my ankle, wrecked my knee or gotten other injuries, not to mention the embarrassment I was spared. I was grateful she told me and even more grateful that I listened.

I thought to myself, this is how Christian friendship and accountability should be. It’s like Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, “Two People are better than one. They can help each other in everything they do. Suppose someone falls down. Then his friend can help him up. But suppose the man who falls down doesn’t have anyone to help him up. Then feel sorry for him!” (NIRV)

It is helpful as Christians when we are able to see things that could be pitfalls in the lives of our Christian friends. Before I move on, I am not saying we should go around and alert everybody of potential pitfalls.  I am talking about when you have earned the right to speak into someone’s life or feel God is directing you to speak to a person about these pitfalls. 

It is very helpful when a friend looks out for you spiritually and warns you of possible danger.  It is a humbling experience to be the one bringing the warning as well as the one being warned. It takes great courage to be both.  It also takes great courage to follow a warning. When we choose to follow direction it can be life-changing. 

As I have reflected back to times in my life that I have followed warnings my friends have given me, I often see that I avoided being easily entangled and engulfed in behavior and thoughts that do not line up with Christ and his word.  When I have been the person warning, it can be humbling and uncomfortable. “God, you want me to say what?”  Often times, friends have come back and expressed thanks.  There have been times when I have been warned and do not see the potential danger myself, but due to the trust that I have with the person and with the Holy Spirit that leads them, I follow the advice.  I will never know the amount of snags that have been adverted by humbly following a warning.

In closing, it is important to saturate yourself in the Word of God daily and be led by His Holy Spirit. Measure everything people speak into your life through the filter of God’s Word.  Having said that, it is also important and life-changing to live in an attitude of humility where we are open to the warnings of other Christians.  Humbly following a warning can help us as Christians stay out of unnecessary trouble and sin.  Humbly warning others can also help them stay out of pitfalls and sin.  This could potentially save everybody a lot of time, embarrassment, spiritual and even physical harm. 

Where in your life has God used someone else to warn you of an area of sin in your life?  When has God wanted to use you to bring a warning to someone else? 

Putting the 4 Handles Into Practice

Sarah Howard

Have any of you tried to work all this Gospel Thinking stuff out in a real life arena yet? It’s life-changing stuff! But it’s also really hard-to-work-through stuff. I’ve been wrestling with what it looks like to let the Gospel into my thoughts and emotions in the area of my friendships. I’ve found that relationships and being ‘wanted’ are a huge part of how I define myself, where I find my identity. I’ve also found that there’s A LOT of ‘False Gospel Thinking’ going on in this head of mine when it comes to friendships, what people think of me, and where I choose to find my value.

For example, take this past sermon about God’s Hesed. Hesed is God’s eternal, loving devotion towards His people to always do good to them. That’s not really the schema that I have in my head when I wake up in the morning. I tend to more follow the ‘False Gospel Thinking’ pattern of thinking:

• ‘Who am I? Who is God?’: My answer usually is that I’m a person who’s insecure in and unsure of my worth.

• ‘What’s wrong with my world?’: I usually feel that I live in a competitive world where it feels like people are valued and wanted based on their performance, and I really feel like I need people’s approval to be ok with myself. 

• ‘What need to be done to fix my world?’: I need to perform well enough: I need to dress in style, portray a sense of security and confidence in myself, have a beautiful house, be funny, parent my children the way everyone else does, be skinny, and on and on and on. 

• ‘What will my world look like when it’s all ‘right?’’: My desire is that I’ll be loved and wanted and basically worshipped by all people. 

Pretty sick, right? In the end, I want the world to revolved around me. But Gospel Thinking is so opposite of how I naturally tend to think. My Creation Story (the answer to ‘Who is God? Who am I?’) when I’m tuned into the Gospel doesn’t start with me and leave God out of the picture anymore. It starts with God: it’s that I’m loved by Him. Loved deeply. Loved eternally. That He’s devoted to lovingly doing good to me. So guess what that ‘doing good’ translates into? I’m wanted. I’m seen. I’m known. I’m approved of. I’m treated by God the way Jesus deserves to be treated: as the precious and beloved only child of God. 

When that first question, the Creation Story question, is answered in the context of the Gospel and God’s Hesed, all the other questions that follow (what’s wrong with my world, what’s the fix, what will it look like when it’s right) are going to be answered completely differently, due to the shift in my Creation Story. I haven’t really figured out yet what that looks like, but I do know one thing: His love is settling and life-altering. When the Gospel starts to infiltrate my thinking and my believing, my whole world and mission in life are radically altered. The end result isn’t that I’m pushing to be worshipped anymore. Instead it’s that God will be worshipped. 

Anyways, that’s one way I’ve tried to process all of this. How about you? Have you tried working out these handles for ‘Gospel Thinking’ in any of your own real life areas?

Physical Therapy or Patiently Trusting

 (By Lois Robinson)

The 2 questions I am constantly asked are “How’s your knee doing?” and “How’s your summer going?” I appreciate people asking me and taking an interest in my life! In answering those questions, it has led me to realize that both the knee and summer fun are closely linked together and serve as huge frustrations for me. The life that I once knew of working hard Monday through Thursday and then resting, worshiping and playing Friday through Sunday, has dramatically changed. Life is now consumed with a battle of the mind, body and spirit as I daily walk through physical therapy, heating pads, ice packs when needed, special chairs to sit in to control back/neck spasms, what trips away can look like with so many limitations, CPM machine and waking up 5-6 times per night trying to get comfortable. In addition to the above, I need to monitor medications to keep it all under control as well. It really works on my brain, heart and life perspective. UGH!!

How’s my summer going? My answer is usually a short one: “Well, nothing really changes for me during the summer except the weather.” Short and sweet :)

Where is God in all of this? Why is He allowing this to be such an extended trial? What am I supposed to be learning? Am I doing something wrong? Not enough exercises? Too many exercises? Wrong set of doctors? Am I getting addicted to these medications? What if I stay this way the rest of my life? ‘Oh Abba, Save Me!” This is my daily battle of the mind and heart. It is no easy task to wrestle for truth in all of this.

I have recognized and am reminded frequently that God is all over this situation! Where, you may ask? Let me try and explain the best that I can.

When this “slight sprain of the knee” occurred 3 years ago, I was told that I needed surgery. I was shocked. At that moment I knew I needed the prayer warriors to start praying. SURGERY?! I thought this was a sprain! LFA had a healing service shortly after and asked me to pray for people. I knew I needed prayer before I prayed over anyone else. I had nothing to give. I felt led to go to one of my pastors for prayer. He began to pray for me, laying his hands on my head. I began to feel a heat pour down over my head and through my body. This, I have come to understand, is the manifestation of the Spirit of God. God reminded me at that point that He was in control of everything. Since then, I have undergone 3 surgeries, all resulting in high levels of pain, confusion and physical therapy. Life has drastically changed for me, but I have never forgotten that moment when God reminded me of His presence and sovereignty.

I see God teaching me how to be Jesus in the physical therapy office and teaching me that I am only experiencing a taste of what others with lifetime challenges face. How pain and suffering easily causes one to go into isolation, depression, feeling all alone in the battle. Teaching me how HUGE it is to be and live in community. Teaching me to fight for Truth. Teaching me that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Teaching my heart how to have more compassion for those with long term struggles with pain and suffering. Teaching me to trust Him in all things! Ultimately, the most valuable lesson has been that He is showing my heart a closer look at sharing in the sufferings of Christ.

Could this season of suffering, confusion and pain be a valuable part of the principle of working my salvation out with fear and trembling? I think so. This moves me into a place of gratitude and humility rather than arrogance and impatience. It postures my heart toward a loving God rather than an invisible God that has forgotten me.

I wonder what it is that you suffer with. Suffering is universal. However, our perspectives on suffering tend to differ. Everyone has a choice in how they view the suffering and how they respond in the suffering. Some tend to blame God, some ignore it, some worship it and some view it as a transformation season that pushes us into the arms of Jesus in order to know His heart more. What do you tend to do? Do you blame God, ignore it, worship it or view it as part of your transformation process?

I would encourage you to take a couple of next steps. Check out Isaiah 46:4 and take a deeper look at the places you experience suffering. A movie that had a huge impact on me was “The Passion of the Christ.” It depicted how Jesus our King responded to suffering. Particularly in the last part of the movie, He trusted and lived out His purpose and worshiped His Abba.

Image Bearers

(By Thor Knutstad)

Many people come to me throughout the day for counsel and advice. They want answers and they desire to be fixed or have their situation and context changed. But what they really want is courage and comfort. They want encouragement and affirmation of what the Spirit of God is already doing inside of them and outside of their situation. They are not looking for answers, though they often would disagree. They want to be known - really known - and understood in their human souls on deeper levels. This craving exists not in weakness but mainly in being an Image Bearer. You are an Image Bearer of God. We all are.

My sons are image bearers of me. They are unlike me yet quite a lot like me in many, many ways. They bear my image and my nature, though they are uniquely designed and created by God. They do resemble me- they look like me and sometimes even act like me- Lord help them. I want my children to KNOW me - to see my faults, my struggles, my strengths, my desires and the very being of my heart. This reveals who I am but also gives them the inner edge of knowing who they are as well. It is the genius of a Father's Grand Design- we are more like Him (yes, God) than unlike Him. Are we sinners? Absolutely. Mini self serving sovereigns? Sometimes. Desperately in need of Christ's saving work? Fully! But also, we are Princes and Princesses of the King. As honored sons and daughters, He is our inheritance and we will reign with Him. We are Royalty. We wear those crowns and robes.

Dear friends, don't condemn or accuse yourself with this biblically assumed fact that is oft overlooked- You are God's Child, His Offspring. Man- His ruddy and handsome son. Woman- His beautiful and decorated daughter. Simply stated and with simple meaning. If you have children or love children or love a child (all of you!), then you know the heart of your Father, our Glorious God. He made you to bear His Image. Why? Because it's really who you are already anyway. You are His Image.

He's just showing you what's already there and will stop at nothing to make you and me look more like His Son, King Jesus. It's right when you think you look just like Him that you hover near legalism and being a Pharisee - one who stands above another sinful Image bearer brother or sister and says, "Thank God I'm not like him (or her)." I'd rather you and I be the chest-beating, honest sinners who crave The Image but daily cower before our great God asking for mercy because we are moving toward His Image; His Image requires and demands it. Shepherd well your ambassadorship, oh dear Princess and Prince. The King is not so interested in you earning a crown but in showing you that you already wear it and resemble Him and bear the mark of His Holy name. Just like my hand holds the one of my son Bryn, so His (my Lord God's) firmly holds mine- and yours, too. Praise Him.

The Answer Is Blowin' In The Wind

Dominick Baruffi

“I have a hard time with decisions.”

That’s the first thing I typed out a few minutes ago when I started writing. Almost immediately my fingers flashed to the backspace key, and my sentence was deleted. No, I thought. That’s not right. After thinking about it for a minute, I realized it’s not making decisions I have a hard time with. Really, it’s options. 

I am terrible with options. I’d like to think I’m a pretty simple guy; in my mind, options only complicate things. For example, if you’re ever out to dinner with me, just watch what happens when the waitress hands me the menu. I react like I’ve just been given a math test. Right away, I will unfold my exam and begin to scan the lists of tasty dishes and their one-line summaries, all while my brain, stomach, and taste buds form a panel of judges to decide for me what my best choice is. Sometimes I will pick my head up just so I remember to breathe. 

And as ridiculous as this sounds, I think you know what I’m talking about. You might not have trouble picking between your red shirt and your blue shirt in the morning like I do, but I bet you know where I’m coming from. It’s usually not the decisions between good and bad we have a hard time with, is it? The trouble comes when we have to choose between good and good. Or good and better. Obviously, there is no “right” answer when you’re choosing your entrée at a restaurant. It’s just a matter of what you want most, what you think is best. 

This issue is all the more complicated by the fact that I claim to be a Christian and I have the whole issue of God’s will to contend with. Now, don’t misunderstand me; I don’t think it really matters to God whether I get lo-mien or pork-fried rice at the Chinese buffet tonight (because really, I’m going to regret my decision either way in the morning, so why complicate things?). But what about all the important decisions I have coming up in the next year? Where should I live? Should I change jobs? How much should my wedding cost? What if I don’t choose what God wants me to choose? Does God work like that?

Lots of options. And lots of opportunities to be wrong.

And that’s the issue for me. I just don’t want to be wrong. I’m tired of following my own way, a way that is inherently self-indulgent and always leaves me worse off than before. I want my life to count. I want to do something worthwhile. I want to matter in the grand scheme of things. And I think the problem is I view life as just that: a grand problem that I’m supposed to solve. And in case you’re wondering, I stink at math.

* * * * * 

Let me throw a verse out to you:

“The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit." ~John 3:8

This verse comes from the conversation Jesus has with Nicodemus about being born again. When Nicodemus asks Jesus if being born again means literally re-entering his mother’s womb, Jesus explains to him that it is not a rebirth of the body that takes place but a birthing of the Spirit of God in our own soul. It is a joining of our heart and will and desires with the heart and will and desires of the living God. Jesus uses the wind metaphor here to illustrate how the Spirit moves in us. It is not something we can calculate or predict through the use of a formula, nor is it something we can measure and record. Heck, we can’t even see it. But we feel it. We know it’s there. 

You know what this is like, don’t you? You’ve been there. You’ve been in a situation before, and you had no idea why, but you felt as though you were being pulled in a direction, almost like an internal compass was showing you the way. Maybe it pointed you in a direction that forced you to go down roads you hoped never to go down (or go down again), but nevertheless the arrow pointed true. This is what being led by the Spirit is like. It is wild. It is unpredictable. And it is unbelievable.

I have found that I am most myself when I see Dominick the way God sees Dominick, and the only way that happens is when I close the door and open the Word, or take a walk, or pull out my journal, or dialogue with the Father throughout the course of my day. I guess the specifics of how aren’t quite as important as the intention behind it; it’s getting to know the heart of God, however that may look. And time in His presence yields a surprising result: we are transformed.

So today, slow yourself down a bit, enough that you can feel the wind blow; let it guide you, scary as it may be, wherever it will. It might not help you order dinner, but it will lead you to life.