How Dysfunctional Is Our Family? Not Yours, Ours.

(By Diego Cuartas)

Recent interactions with people within the church have left me wondering how we are doing when it comes to relating to the Body of Christ and modeling relationships after the character of our Covenant Father. There seems to be a revolving door through which men and women, believers from all kinds of walks, come and go because they are not staying long.

I remember my family of origin had a unique characteristic that was both an asset and a liability. If I can say it this way, we were plainly nice at any cost. The asset helped us on the one hand to find ways to be hospitable and allowed us to connect with others in ways that would help them feel welcomed and cared for. The liability reared its head when tension or conflict was present with another person and being lovingly honest with them seemed like too big of a price to pay. Growing up in my family context shaped me in ways that I am sure account in part for the dysfunctional or distorted view I developed of people. I began to view people as really BIG at the expense of reducing God’s size to a smaller one. People-pleasing became one of my normal currencies in my relational exchanges with people. It was not long into my young adult years that I realized how dysfunctional my contribution to friends, coworkers, family, dating and even serving others was. There is no doubt that my relating patterns were now reflecting in some way my family value called “niceness”.

A verse I had journaled back in February of this year describes for me the character of our heavenly Father, which He in turn desires for us to reflect in our relationships with other believers within the Body of Christ. Consider with me this precious statement presented in Deuteronomy 4:31:

“For the Lord your God is a merciful God. He will not leave you or destroy you or forget the covenant with your fathers that he swore to them.”

Notice that our heavenly Father regards His relationship with us as a covenant. Granted, this is a very unbalanced covenant because He is willing to contribute His best and most even though we fall short of meeting his personal expectations and standards. Thanks be to God that this is not how we are to always live. When we are in Christ, the disproportion of this covenant is leveled by a mercy that satisfies the deepest longings of our Father. We could say that the commitment God has toward us is only based on the sacrifice made by another. Furthermore, we learn that this Father will never leave us or destroy us. No matter what happens, He will not forget that what joins us to Him is the covenant He initiated and facilitated through the blood of His own Son.

Why then do we enter and exit relationships with others within the Body of Christ so easily? How deep is our commitment? How long is our forbearance? How merciful is our heart? I believe the dysfunctional symptoms we experience in the present time within our local communities of faith can’t be healed by treating the community as a whole. The renewing in the way we do relationships will happen when each individual takes a step- a step that is in keeping with our Covenant Father. Where we learn from Him and lean on His resources until all possible ones have been exhausted. Where we bring honestly our personal poverty so that richness can be ours at the end. Where we fight for unity. And only after we have prayed and exhausted all the possible resources given to us will we say it’s time to part ways. I hope with time the revolving door will move slower only to give entrance to newcomers!

If you are in need of practical ways to do your part in bringing health to our dysfunctional family, I encourage you to read and follow the Apostle Paul’s prescriptions of our Covenant Father found in Ephesians 4.

Homerun

Sarah Howard

I’ve been pretty discouraged about the state of my house recently.  The other day my in-laws came over to take my 2 daughters out to lunch.  I was hoping to meet them at the door and send the girls off without a trip inside to see the new level of squalor we had stooped to.  Unfortunately, I missed that window of opportunity by being upstairs when they arrived, so I had to face the inevitable: someone’s entrance into my house. When they stepped inside, there really wasn’t any place for them to even stand.  They had to kind of step inside the door and stop cold because there literally was no place to step without stepping on something.  When they brought the girls back home after their date, Ava, my oldest, went upstairs to use the bathroom.  As I’m swaddling up my youngest to get her ready for a nap, I catch the words, “Oh, we forgot to give Ava a goodbye kiss” come out of my mother-in-law’s mouth.  Oh dear.  Inwardly, I am cringing.  This is going to be embarrassing.  Climbing those stairs is going to be more like ascending Mount Everest for all the crap they’re going to have to vault over to make it upstairs.  When they reached the bathroom, not only do they still have nowhere to even stand, but this time, it’s not only toys that are littering the floor, but also underwear.  Cute.  

Of course, it’s not always that bad.  We usually have space to at least walk in our house.  But at least one room is almost always a mess. It just seems like as soon as I get one room looking somewhat picked-up, another room seems to explode.  Or I get the house more or less cleaned up one day, and the next it’s looking like I haven’t cleaned in months.  

In the past, I haven’t been too bothered by all this.  I would just keep plugging along, cleaning up.  Last month, though, I started getting frustrated.  I started grumbling under my breath.  I thought up a derogatory name for our house (which would be inappropriate for me to share on a church blog).  I couldn’t get that nickname for our house out of my mind and it was making me angrier every time I thought of it. But more than being frustrated, I started asking myself questions.  

I started wondering if my messy house meant something more than a messy house.  I started wondering if it meant that I was failing as a mom.  I started thinking of all my mom-friends that have spotless houses.  Now, I know any mom-friend would say that their house is not spotless, but in my mind it seemed like everyone else had a spotless house.  Like everyone else could keep up with these mom-responsibilities…and I couldn’t.  In my mind, it seemed like my messy house was condemning me as a bad mom.

One night in the middle of this ‘messy house = failure mom’ mental struggle, my husband and I watched a baseball movie together.  Not really where I’d expect God to show up.  Not really where I’d expect Him to speak into my questions about my worth as a woman.  But He did.

There I am, watching this baseball movie that’s all about scouting and money and statistics, when this stunning scene hits me right smack in the middle of my ‘Is everyone else in the whole world able to keep up except me?’ struggle.  In the movie, the main character is a baseball scout who tries to change the inner workings of the game by using a technique of team development that no one else has ever tried before.  He takes a team that is destined to lose, due to lack of financial resources, and turns them into an almost-winning team.

The main character has done something completely incredible in the game of baseball.  What he did, when seen from an objective point of view, was a complete success.  He brought the team from loss after loss to win after win.  I don’t remember the exact stats, but it was stunning what he did.  At the end of the season, though, he feels like a complete loser, because he didn’t reach his ideal of winning the World Series.  

In this scene at the end of the movie, the main character is talking to his assistant about how he failed, and the assistant insists that his boss sees a video clip of a baseball player.  The video was of a player who would always, always, always only make it to first base.  He never hit more than a single.  The video clip showed the one time the man decided to run to second base, and what he had always feared, happened: he fell down as he was rounding, and ended up having to scramble back to first base on his stomach.  How embarrassing!  But then the clip shows everyone on the field yelling, telling him to get up and run.  That’s when he realizes that he actually hit a home run, without even knowing it!   Here he is, feeling like a complete failure, when he actually hit a home run.  And through this video, the scout’s assistant is basically telling the main character that even though he lost the World Series, even though it wasn’t perfectly ideal, he still ‘hit a home run’ that season. 

When I saw that scene, of both the player hitting a home run without even knowing it, and of the scout doing an amazing thing but not being able to see it because he was blinded by his ideals, I felt God speak directly to my heart.  “Sarah,” He said, “You are hitting a home run in your home…and you don’t even know it.”  He was telling me that, yes, my ideal for a perfectly spotless house wasn’t being met.  I don’t live in a Pottery Barn catalogue.  But I’m still hitting a home run.  I’m loving my precious daughters.  I’m using my energy and strength every day to mother them, to raise them to love Him.  I’m serving my family by continuing to pick up my house.  I’m learning to give up more and more of myself for my family.  I’m growing in responsibility.  I’m on a trajectory of success as a mom.  Looking around, I might feel like a failure but I’m actually winning.  I’m hitting a home run.  

Man, that spoke deeply to my soul.  I’m not a failure!  I’m not expending all this energy only to find out that I don’t have it in me to be a good mom.  I’m actually succeeding!  My definition of success has just been different than God’s definition has been for me.  Maybe next time my in-laws come over and there’s no place to stand, I’ll simply say, “It may look like a mess, but guess what? I’m hitting a homerun!”

The Plane is Going Down

(By Tammy Vaughn) 

Have you ever felt that way?

I recently felt like this while taking a trip on an airplane. After being removed from the exit row due to my weight and away from the friend I was traveling with, I was sat next to two teenage boys. The space was tight, they were tall and I was wide. I made several attempts to chit-chat with the guys and make an uncomfortable situation more comfortable. I made several attempts to talk to them and ease the situation, all the while getting more and more uncomfortable inside. I think what I felt was shame- shame that I was overweight and causing a “scene.” I also felt disconnected from my friend who was in the exit row and unable to connect to the people around me. I got quiet. I prayed and God spoke. The thing I love about Jesus is that he is able to speak quickly into our hearts and reframe our minds. It was as if he was saying, “Tammy, I know you. I know that you have been working on losing weight. I am here. You are fine. Be glad for the progress you have made and keep going.” Immediately the storm inside me quieted, shame was gone, I was not alone, I was proud of the progress I have made and I began to read my book quietly. The young men were still uncomfortable, so I said, “Why don’t you go to the exit row and check out the seats?” They moved there, and my friend moved to the seat next to me. At the end of the flight the young men’s father came to me and apologized for any discomfort his sons may have caused me. I graciously accepted and let him know that Jesus was helping me lose weight. Their mother also said that they thought they were going to lay down three seats and sleep. I smiled.

In our lives, especially in healing or recovery, we feel like there is no use, or that we are never going to make progress or get anywhere. I think the story is significant because often small things can get us off of God’s track of healing in our lives. It would totally stink if I gave power to those two young men who I did not even know. If I would have basked in shame, feeling alone or even made fun of, I could have just said “Forget it.” I could have dismissed the forward progress I have made in my weight loss journey. I could have called myself names.

I love Jesus because he is always there, always defending, always cheering us on. Take courage, my friend, if the journey is hard. Jesus is there to help, comfort, guide and assure you when evil comes against you. Quiet your mind, rest in him, listen and obey his word, use it like a sword in a war. You are worth it! The others that you will encourage someday with your story are worth it! Becoming more like Christ is worth it!

Psalm 55:22 “Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.”

“NO” IS NOT A 4 LETTER WORD!”

 (By Lois Robinson)

Back in the day when I was growing up, I was taught that I shouldn’t say curse words, or “4 letter words” as we called them. I won’t elaborate or be more specific with those! Interestingly though, I was also taught I couldn’t say ‘no’ to things that hurt me either. The word ‘yes’ was very acceptable, the good Christian things to say, but the word ‘no’ was out of bounds! That set me up very nicely for major boundary problems that in turn brought lots and lots of problems for me and relationships for many years.

I consider my own counseling journey to be one that cost thousands of dollars to learn how to say ‘no’ - a difficult yet rewarding journey. The rewards far out-weighed the difficulties.

But, you may be asking, “Are boundaries biblical?” “Aren’t we supposed to lay down our lives in order for Christ to rise up in us and say ‘yes’ to everyone in need?” “Lois, where is the true Gospel message in boundaries?”

Well, great questions, and I am so glad you asked! Here we go!

God is a good, loving, perfect, holy parent that loves His children so much that He wrote a whole book of boundaries! It’s called the Bible!

The very first set of boundaries that I read about in the Bible is in Genesis, where God tells Adam and Eve ‘yes’ to all of the trees but ‘no’ to a certain one. He spelled out a set of limitations, or boundaries, out of love for them. Just like when we tell children, “You can play in the backyard, but don’t go into the street,” out of love for them. Good parenting involves setting up healthy boundaries for children to learn to live and in order to protect them. Parents, can you imagine allowing your children to do WHATEVER they wanted to do, WHENEVER and WHEREVER! SMH (shaking my head in Facebook world:) )

God tells us all about the boundary lines He has set up for us out of love so we do not play in the street and have horrible consequences. Unfortunately, most of us really don’t think He means it, so we do the things He tells us not to do. We suffer consequences when we violate His boundaries, then we have the audacity to blame Him, just like Adam and Eve did. We then expect Him to say, maybe like our parents or others have, “It’s OK, I know you didn’t mean it.” Did God say that to Adam and Eve? No, He didn’t, and I am thankful for that! He said “Get out of the garden.” God cannot contradict His word which says “Let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no’”.

I am not sure how many of you reading this blog struggle with saying ‘NO’ or even realized that God was the author of boundaries, not Henry Cloud and John Towncend. They are wonderfully gifted men, and I love their books!! They are a must for your bookshelf by the way. But God is the original author. Henry and John got their insights for the material from the Spirit of God!

My hope would be that this little byte would drive you into the scriptures to see what God does say about this topic, Boundaries and your life! How He sent His Son Jesus to redeem all of the sin that results in pain of living so long without boundaries. Because of Jesus, God allowed my eyes to be opened to the principle of “let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no’”. Before that I said yes to everything and allowed the bad to come in and nearly kill me.

I urge you to check out the following scriptures:

Matthew 5:37
Proverbs 4:23
Proverbs 22:3
Matthew 7:7-12
Matthew 22:37-39
Galatians 6:2-5

Never Stop Doing Good To Me

Jessica Noblett

If there is one theme I see in the blogs I’ve written over these past months, it’s that God’s grace is never static. His purposes are so much bigger than a single person or a single story and His change and grace for one person always seems to also be a catalyst into change and grace for someone else. I think that’s what Nate meant on Sunday when he talked about God’s grace in us and God’s grace through us. 

During the Sunday service, Diana beautifully shared her story of how hard she tried to control her life and how graciously God changed her heart. She said things like -I’m paraphrasing here- she wanted to clean herself up first before she showed true self to Jesus and that she never considered herself in Christ but adjacent to him and always have to keep up to earn that place. 

I completely relate to that mindset, that stronghold, of trying to control my own life; especially the idea that God’s grace isn’t sufficient for me.

I’ve been working through a book called the Gospel Primer over the past few weeks and one of the journaling questions last week said, “how often in your faith journey and as a Christian have you felt like it was up to you to remain close to God?” I was immediately confused. The phrasing of the question made it seem like it wasn’t up to me to remain close to God but my instinctual first response was, “I always feel that way, because that’s the truth.” In fact, even though I have been following Jesus for what I could consider almost my entire life, I had to step back and think about what was actually true. I had to look for Bible verses to confirm it wasn’t up to me just to make sure I wasn’t letting myself off the hook too easily.

Sometimes I try to control things because I think I know best and because I want to do things my way. But other times… I think maybe I control things because I’m just trying to hold up my end of the bargain. God is so gracious and has done so much for me and I discount that very grace by assuming it’s only fair that I meet him halfway. 

During the worship time on Sunday when people spoke truth about God in the Bible verses they had read, someone said, “He will never stop doing good to me.” I’m pretty sure I started crying right then and there (and didn’t stop until the service was over.) He will never stop doing good to me. He reaches out even when I don’t. He is faithful when I’m not. He remains close. 

When I remember that and I take a deep breath and rest in that peace… it doesn’t end there. It makes me want to call up everyone I know and tell them to stop striving, stop controlling, stop doing. Because God’s grace is here and he will never stop doing good to us.

Coming Soon...September 4, 2013!

The Counseling Ministry Blog is a collaborative effort birthed out of the work Diego Cuartas, Lois Robinson, Tammy Vaughn and Thor Knutstad regularly do to foster healing and restoration in the lives of people via formal and informal counseling ministry. Our desire is to post every Wednesday a blog that will bless our community at large.

The purpose of the counseling ministry blog is to communicate current themes and truths that are observed in the private ministry of counseling, to expand kingdom impact on others. We hope this will be a blessing to you!

Look for it, beginning September 4, 2013! 

Selfish Me

Sherry Engel

Before reading this blog entry, I’d like you to take just a minute and reflect on what matters the most to you.  When you wake up in the morning, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?  What occupies the majority of your thoughts in a day?

Maybe you’re like many people and your thoughts turn to the busyness of your day, the work schedule, the bills that need paid, the homework that didn’t get done the night before.  Maybe you’re a future-focused person, so your thoughts dwell on the next achievement in your life, whether in your career, your finances, or even in your personal relationships. Maybe your thoughts are deeply rooted in your care and concern for others, so your thoughts dwell on other people, even the welfare of your family members. Do any of these sound familiar to you?                                      

How many of you answered the above questions by saying that what matters the most to you is fulfilling God’s purpose and plan for you?  Being honest, I can’t say that that’s how my thoughts are all the time.  I do pray all of the time for God to keep his purpose and plan at the forefront of all of my thoughts and actions.  There are many days that is exactly where my heart, soul and mind are.  And on those days, it is so deeply rooted that the spirit is just overflowing with that in me.  On other days, the battle ensues between the flesh and the spirit, and the “selfish me” appears.  And the funny thing is, most of the time the selfish me really isn’t even about me, but it is about “the world”.  It’s about the schedule that won’t allow me to spend as much time helping others as I want, it’s about not being able to get through to the people that I care about, it’s about obstacles that surface trying to do God’s work, it’s about normal everyday relationships.        

So what do we do when we feel the pressures of our own “little kingdoms”?

In a past sermon from our sermon archives, Pastor Nate, spoke about “big kingdom” living, as Paul Tripp, author of “A Quest for More: Living for Something Bigger than You”  calls it.  It’s all about looking up and out and not focusing on self.  As Nate describes it, when the arrows of your thoughts and actions are first pointed to God, then pointed to others, then God takes care of you.  All of HIS arrows will be pointed directly at you.

So what do I do when I start getting into the “selfish me” mindset?  Here’s what I found helpful:

• I visualize in my mind actual arrows pointing directly to God, then arrows pointed directly at those I care about.  I try to remove myself, my feelings, completely from the situation (I’m not saying this is always easy.)  Because you see, in my heart and soul, I 100% trust God’s plan for me.  In my heart and soul, I 100% know HE will supply everything according to my needs. 
• I use the tools God gave me…searching HIS word, and time in prayer and reflection. HE has all of the answers.  All we need to do is search for them.
• I rely on wonderful Christian friends to support me.
• I write! And thus this entry….today was one of those “selfish me” days…and with a little bit of God’s word, a little fellowship with a dear friend, a little writing, and a lot of talking to God, I’m already starting to refocus my arrows! 

For any of you struggling with what this crazy life is all about, I strongly recommend Paul’s book titled “A Quest for More: Living for Something Bigger than You”.  

Pinterest & The Gospel

Sarah Howard

First group: Hanging out with people. Clicking through images of shabby-chic DIY home projects on Pinterest. Daydreaming about what clothes and accessories I need to shop for next.

Second group: Freedom. Love. Slavery.

I wouldn’t naturally associates these two groups with each other. The first group is made up of everyday, ordinary things that I, a 28-year-old mom, do. The second is terminology coming out of Galatians 5.

However, as I’ve been thinking through this sermon series on the Gospel, I’ve found that, for me, the first group (being with people, imagining projects for my home, and wanting new clothes) is the real-life arena of where Freedom, Love and Slavery come up.

Take being with people, for example. When I’m with my friends I’m finding that I’m not interacting with them based on the truths that: God made me, that He placed His image in me, and that even though I’m sinful, He treats me with the love and joy with which He’d treat His one and only Son. I’m actually enslaved to my need to perform and manipulate so that anyone and everyone will approve of me.

Or when it comes to Pinterest, I’m not really wanting to completely re-do my normal, run-of-the-mill house into something unique and vintage and beautiful because that’s simply the design and beauty of God on my life. I’m looking to my house, and how well I could decorate it, to save me. I’m crying out for my house to please, please finally prove that I’m good enough. That I’m pretty enough. That I’m worth something. 

Or take daydreaming of completely revamping my wardrobe. I think that if I could just get the perfect style, I’d be saved. I’d be safe. I’d be invulnerable to the pressure on women to live up to so many standards. 

The thing about these real-life examples is that, I feel like I’m free. Free to dress however I want, decorate however I want, interact however I want. But on Sunday, we heard that, “true freedom leads to love.” Galatians 5 says, “Love others as you love yourself. That’s an act of true freedom.” And I can’t really see how my competing and striving and using and manipulating and performing and hiding could, when seen for what they really are, be labeled as love.

I don’t think the answer is to never interact with people, though. Or to not decorate my house. Or to never look at Pinterest. Or to stop buying clothes. 

I think the answer is to do those things, but out of a Gospel-settledness. It’s possible for all of these activities to flow out of a place of rest that’s available through the freedom that Christ’s work on the cross brings. I don’t have to hide or control or strive or manipulate or compete. I’m made by God, designed by God, loved by God, rescued by God, being changed by God, approved by God, known by God, and all without me earning it. As I rest in that reality, real love is free to come out of my life. Love can come out of my life in the way I decorate. Love can come out of my life in the way I dress. Love can come out of my life in the way I hang out with people. Love can come out because I’m free, free from the yoke of slavery of securing love and approval for myself. Love can come out because of the Gospel.

My Hope is Built on Nothing Less?

Jeff Hyson

We live in a world full of hope!  It's a good thing we do, because we also live in a world full of problems.  To state the obvious, without hope, life would be hopeless.  But wouldn’t it be nice if the correlation between the size of problems and the size of hope were linear?  In other words, the biggest problems would be seen as opportunities for the biggest hope.  Unfortunately, life doesn’t usually work that way.  When people are faced with huge problems, they rarely see much hope at all.  The other end of the spectrum holds true as well.  We tend to be the most hopeful when our problems are small.  Will the Eagles make the play-offs?  8 out of 10 fans think so, even though there is little to base that hope on.  Will that boy ask you out, even though he’s never looked at you and doesn't know your name?  Your friends think he will.  Small problems yield big hope.

            Every day, nearly 20,000 children die from preventable hunger and poverty related causes.  You see those “pennies a day” commercials for relief organizations and think, “How big a difference could my pennies-a-day really make?”  So you change the channel.  Or maybe you haven’t been able to pay the mortgage in a few months.  You see very little chance of keeping your house.  Big problems, little hope. 

            We tend to be the most hopeful when the outcome is of very little consequence, or when we have great control over it.  But when the stakes are high, and the outcome feels beyond our control, our hope fades.  We begin looking to other things to put our hope in, or we work really hard to control the situation.  We go through life controlling one situation after another, pinning our hope on ourselves and our ability to make things work.  Then, when situations are so obviously beyond our control, they seem utterly hopeless.

            This is the “gospel of me.”  I can fix it, I can control it, I can make things work.  Unfortunately, it always breaks down.  Owen Ashworth sings a similarly themed song, and comes to the conclusion that, “Oh, you need a new gospel, cause the bottom fell out of the old one long ago…” 

            The pastorate that my family belongs to is participating in the 30-Hour Famine, which is a campaign to raise awareness and funds to combat global hunger, a problem that World Vision swears is fixable.  I know that no matter how hard I try, I can’t fix global hunger.  It’s a problem that seems primed for hopelessness.  Why bother participation in what seems like such a trivial exercise. 

            All too often, we build our hope in something less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.  The broken “gospel of me” can’t solve the big problems, and often screws up when trying to solve the little ones.  The good news is that the true Gospel is news of hope.  I can rest in the fact that God has a handle on things, and his plan is the best plan.  While I can’t stand still and do nothing, I can move forward in the knowledge that my hope is built not on my ability to make things right, but on God’s unending love for me and mankind. 

            So is there hope for world hunger?  When World Vision began the 30-Hour Famine campaign in 1992, 40,000 children a day were dying from hunger and poverty related causes.  Today, that number has been cut in half, and I didn’t have to do it myself.  Big problem, real hope.

The Hard Work of Honesty

Nancy Vasquez

My mom died suddenly a month ago. She was my best friend and confidante, one of the only people on the planet who would be completely honest with me when she saw me wandering down the wrong path. She would not hesitate to tell me that she thought I was making a bad decision or thinking wrongly. The reality is that she was not always right. Sometimes what she saw as danger zones were actually good things that she did not completely understand. 

But now that Mom is gone, I can see clearly that all of her advice, right or wrong, was coming from a place of truth in love. Even when she knew I was going to be as angry as a wet cat and just as confrontational, she still spoke up, not to drive me crazy, but to try to protect me. 

I get very angry when people are not honest with me, whether it is by telling so-called “half truths” or just flat out lying to me. But as usual, as I examine myself, I’m no different than they are. 

In Sunday’s sermon, Pastor Nate posed the question, Do you tell people just what they want to hear so they don’t dislike or reject you? My answer to that is, absolutely!

Paul’s struggle in Galatians was based on being rejected because he spoke truth that the church did not want to hear. Honesty is hard work. It means following the Spirit, knowing what to say to whom, and going through the sometimes agonizing process of dealing with the anger and rejection of those closest to you. 

It is so much simpler to lie, to say something is ok when it’s not, to smile and nod, to avoid confrontation so you don’t “rock the boat” of a relationship. In this case, one doesn’t have to prayerfully discern anything or say anything potentially confrontational. It’s the easy way out. 

The “easy way out” is a form of idolatry. It’s putting one’s own personal comfort and approval ahead of what God calls us to in relationship with others. Dealing honestly is one of the “elementary principles” we should have mastered as followers of Christ and too often don’t master at all. I personally would rather sit and stew on an issue than deal with it head on because it requires no risk or effort on my part to just simmer and brood. 

I take this easy way out all the time. I often don’t confront friends and family who need to be confronted. When I do finally deal with an issue, it’s usually out of a place of anger with the accompanying profanity and meanness that go along with utter frustration. It is anything but speaking the truth in love. If I followed God’s plan for honesty in the first place, I wouldn’t get to a spot where I speak ugly things that are not glorifying to Him. 

The easy route ends up being the wrong route, every single time. 

God wants us to do the hard work of honesty not because he wants to see us squirm.  He wants us to do all things well, to become more and more like Him.  He knows that our relationships and minds would be much healthier with significant doses of honesty. He also knows that we will need His mercy and grace over and over and over again to even begin to practice this. The good news is that He will provide this mercy and grace as we start and stumble and succeed on the journey.

A journey means getting started. This is a tough call to action for me, but I see that we will all have healthier communities and more God-centered hearts if we intentionally practice honesty.

How to Deal with Sexual Failure

Dominick Baruffi

The year was 1984. Pastor John Piper had just returned home from a missions conference in Washington, D.C., and he had returned burdened. He had spent time listening to a missionary named George Verwer, who preached on the tragic number of young people who were leaving the missions field. Primarily, Verwer observed, these people were giving up their radical dream because of a gnawing sense of unworthiness: they had failed sexually. Their constant battle with sin was too great for them to continue down the radical path they had once set out on. Verwer preached passionately on this, and it stirred the heart of Piper. In response to his experience at the conference, Piper wrote a short essay for his church newsletter entitled, “Missions and Masturbation.” According to Piper, the following week was the closest he ever came to being fired from his post. You can probably understand why.

* * * * *

“The great tragedy is not masturbation or fornication or pornography. The tragedy is that Satan uses guilt from these failures to strip you of every radical dream you ever had or might have. In their place, he gives you a happy, safe, secure, American life of superficial pleasures, until you die in your lakeside rocking chair.”

~John Piper

It is important before I write very much more, that I make mention of something I would much rather omit: that I am a sexual failure. This is not mere church speak; it is the bare truth of my existence. I have not honored God with my body; I am, as the hymn states, prone to wander, a deviant from the plans and institutes of God, sometimes on a daily basis. I have allowed lust to rule my heart instead of love for Christ and his people, and that battle continues even upon this writing. I say this in hopes of removing any misconceptions you may have of me, the writer, upon deciding to read a post as audaciously titled as this one. You will not find haughtiness or expertise here; I have none to offer. What you will find is more like a report sent from a soldier battling on the front lines of war. I have been to the battlegrounds more times than I care to admit, and I have learned that there are no shortcuts to victory. In the words of C.S. Lewis, the longest way round is the shortest way home.

* * * * *

There is a tendency amongst people who have failed sexually to reinterpret their lives based on their sin. The egregious nature of our sin brings with it the almost crippling weight of guilt that, in many ways, serves us a great deal. Guilt is to the soul what pain is to the body: without it, we wouldn’t know we were ill. But often, we interpret that guilt as a sign that God wants no part of us. How could he ever want me? 

What we forget in these moments is that which matters most: we forget the glorious Gospel of Jesus.

Christ has died,

Christ is risen,

Christ will come again.

The problem with making our sin greater than the glory of the Gospel is that it isn’t. Our sin has separated us from God, but Jesus Christ has defeated sin! When we allow the guilt to take us out of the game, we give power back to the enemy to tell us who we are. We exchange the truth about God for a lie that pushes us further and further away from the truth. We become like those young missionaries that George Verwer preached about, paying more attention to our sin and forgetting the message we preach. Because what would God want with a mess like me?

* * * * *

If you are someone who has experienced sexual failure, hear this: Jesus is not surprised by your failures. He knew of them long before you did. This is not cause for despair, but celebration, for even while you were still in your sins, Christ died for you. You had no part in it; just Him, choosing to stay on that cross, taking your place among the damned. All that is required of you is that you choose to see yourself as He sees you: not as shamed, but as Son. Guilt is a good thing, but do not let the enemy use it against you. Now is the time for repentance. The Father is waiting for you to come to Him. 

Oh, the devil’s singing over me an age-old song

That I am cursed and gone astray

Singing the first verse so conveniently over me

He’s forgotten the refrain:

Jesus saves!

~Shane & Shane, “Embracing Accusation”

Dream Bigger

Jessica Noblett

I listened to this week’s sermon as I drove down the northeast extension of the Pennsylvania Turnpike, heading home from visiting my family in New York. It was serendipitous as God’s timing always is because a perfect metaphor of “what are you hoping for?” was unfolding before me.

The answer was easy enough- I was hoping and dreaming of getting home. The final destination included my wonderful husband, a hot shower, a nice soft bed (after a weekend of sharing a cot with a cousin) and central air conditioning. But while driving alone for six hours I noticed that I am easily distracted and particularly enticed by service plazas. Fast food! Coffee! Souvenir key chains! Trail mix! Fireworks! The cheapest fireworks in the state! More coffee!! I exchanged the “big dream” of getting home for the smaller, more tangible dream of a hot cappuccino from Starbucks more than once. 

It hit home. I settle for less and take my eyes off the prize all the time. In Nate’s words, “I exchange a worthy dream for a small dream.”

However, the big reveal for me happened in the sermon when Nate said that the life of a follower of Jesus includes holding on to “bigger vision without momentary satisfaction.” I know that’s probably difficult for any of us to fully grasp – its definitely counter-culture – but it could not be more extremely contrary to the life and breath of my generation. 

We can’t send a text message without wondering a minute later why we haven’t received a response. We have the TV show, movie or YouTube clip of our choice available on the screen of our choice at any given time. We’re used to receiving trophies for participating and medals just because we showed up. We need our tweets “favorited” and our Instagrams “liked” and if we’re honest, our existence completely revolves around affirmation and pats on the back. “You’re doing great!” “Keep going!” “I love it!” “You’re so smart!” We’re absolutely lost without them. Or at least I am. Six hours of driving without texting or Instagram? I picked up my phone every 15 minutes purely out of habit.

It’s clear to me why holding onto a bigger hope comes down to a question of faith, because the bottom line is if God isn’t giving me an “atta boy” I don’t think He’s paying attention and I begin to doubt what I’m doing makes any difference at all. 

But if holding on to faith is believing my efforts are not in vain and still matter in God’s kingdom instead of giving my attention to something small - I see how that’s a life worth living. 

In the brilliant words of C.S. Lewis, “we are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

I want to be finished with mud pies. Instead, I want to hold onto the assurances God has already given to us, like in 1 Corinthians 15 and hope for something so much more, so much bigger, than just what I see around me. I want to grow in faith so that I’m able to remember what’s true about God’s character and how He leads and loves his children instead of being distracted by so many worthless objects along the way. 

I can do it myself!

Sherry Engel

This morning’s sermon reminded me of a phrase I’ve heard a lot lately.  A friend’s young son wants to be independent like his older brother, and declares “I can do it myself!”  Then there’s his grandfather who recently had a stroke, that reclaims that same phrase as his own when people patronize him, he says, “I can do it myself!”  That phrase resonates so strong with me as well.  My father taught me to be strong and independent, to work for what you get.   “I can do it myself!”

The reality of relying on Jesus and not myself hit me this week.  As Eli and I prepare to serve on mission in West Virginia, we were short on our fundraising.  I thought to myself, “I’ll never go on another mission trip because this fundraising is too stressful, thinking I needed to do it.  I needed to have the money.”  What I realized not five minutes later was that’s exactly why I need to go on another mission trip.  It’s teaching me to rely on God, not on myself.  This is a lesson God keeps trying to pound in my brain.  You would think after all He’s shown me through His strength in the last few years that I would “get it”.  Guess I’m a slow learner.

So the problem is, there are some things that we cannot do for ourselves.  That is what Nate spoke of today.  No matter how we look at it, every single one of us has a list of sins that we have committed, and that list continues to grow each day.  We can try really hard, but in this lifetime, on this earth, we will not achieve perfection.  Right now, we cannot be just like Christ.  However the Good News is we will be someday!  The day that Christ returns we will achieve perfection.  We will be like Christ.  That’s all part of Justification.  Christ bore our sins and because of that, our slates are wiped clean! We have been made righteous.   It’s free, simply for having faith and believing.

Some religions will speak of the works a person must do to enter into heaven.  I know that works won’t get me to heaven, only Christ has that power through his dying on the cross for me.  Are my works important?  Of course, they are.  But they are important because it is a demonstration of Christ working in me, and through me, not for me to earn my way into heaven.  None of us are capable of that.

I’ve reflected a lot lately on those who from worldly standards appear to have accomplished the “perfect life” on this earth.  Those who are proud of their accomplishments and their strength that have gotten them where they are, but are void of God.   I feel sadness for what they are missing out on.  I pray that someday, before they leave this earth, before Jesus returns, that they can realize that only in our weakness is Jesus strong.  He will save us for all eternity, we just need to exercise faith and believe.

Can you join me in praying we’ll find our weaknesses made strong in Jesus?

Criticism as Inspiration

                         It makes me feel so good

Jeff Hyson

To always tell you when you're wrong

The big man that I am

To always have to put you down

               -- David Bazan

            I don’t mean to be judgmental, but doesn’t it bother you when people are judgmental?  I mean, if you call yourself a good Christian, you shouldn’t judge people, and those people that do judge people must not be as spiritual as those of us who don’t judge people.  I am so thankful that I don’t have a problem with judging people, and I feel bad for those who do.

            Sound absurd?  Yes.  Have I ever thought someone less spiritual because they were judgmental?  Yup.

            I think there is fine line between advocating for the truth, and being judgmental.  For example, most of us want to stay away from legalism, but we still set up rules for ourselves and how we live.  This responsible living is great, but how easily do we project our own personal rules onto other people?  It is almost natural to do so.  I don’t let my kids run around the sanctuary after church.  While this is just a minor rule for our family, I find myself judging parents who do let their kids run around.  I know I am not supposed to legalistic, especially about minor, insignificant details, but it is really easy to fall into it. 

            Judging others can be even more tempting in instances when we feel that the truth is on our side.  How do we advocate the truth while not being legalistic or judgmental?  First, we need to remember there are absolute truths that take the judgment out of our hands.  It is not OK for someone to commit adultery, or abuse a child.  Am I being judgmental about adultery?  I think not.  The problem creeps in as we add to the list of absolute truths.  Our personal values, which may be great things, can easily rise to the level of absolute truth in our minds, making it really easy to judge other people by our personal standards.

            Here’s the crazy part… these “truths” can change.  Some of the values that I had 10 years ago, that I probably considered pretty close to absolute truths, are not my values today.  I’ve grown.  Some of the things that I was judging people for 10 years ago, I might embrace today.  These might include political or social ideas, or just ways of living life.  Obviously, the ideas and standards that we value we also consider truths.  If we didn’t, we wouldn’t value them.  I feel pretty confident that some of my current values will change as I continue to grow. 

            Passing judgment on someone is all about comparison.  I am better/more spiritual/smarter/holier than that other person.  It makes us feel a little higher on the spiritual totem pole.  It is self-serving and can lead to some pretty dangerous thought patterns.

            I am a firm believer in pursuing truth, both absolute truth, and values that we feel are best for us and our families.  My personal values do not always need to be your personal values.  I don’t mean to be judgmental, but let’s not be so judgmental.

Peer Pressure

Nancy Vasquez

During every school year, I ask my high school students if they give in to peer pressure.

Inevitably, all of my kids claim to be individuals who “don’t care what anyone thinks” and don’t give in to pressure to conform.  However, I look at a room where most of them are wearing the same clothes, listening to the same music, watching the same television shows, and texting the same things on the same cell phones.

I always ask, if you are such individuals, then why are half of you wearing the same Hollister t-shirt and jeans? 

Their outraged responses calm when we start discussing how conformity creeps into all of our lives whether we think so or not. We want to belong. We want affirmation. We want to be a part of a community that accepts us. These things are basic emotional needs that are part of the human experience. It is foolish to think that all of us of all ages don’t crave these things on some level.

The Church is no different.

Pastor Nate’s sermon on “Penguin Christians” was the first time I have ever heard this topic addressed.

Don’t get me wrong; I’ve heard hundreds of sermons on Christian non-conformity throughout my life. The difference is that those sermons were all about Christians not conforming to the world. I had never heard about Christians not conforming to each other.

The more I think about the amount of conformity expected in the Church, the more I see it everywhere.

One of my favorite examples is politics. It’s one of my favorites because I have very different political views than most of my Christian friends. I have solid Scriptural reasons for why I believe what I believe politically, and my friends have excellent Scriptural reasons for why they believe as they do politically. However, I’ve spent most of my life not openly sharing my views. Why? Because it was expected that ALL OF US thought the same as MANY OF US. There was an assumption that “all” real Christians would vote for a certain candidate or think a certain way.

This is patently false. Just look at the people Jesus chose to surround himself with: people of all different economic backgrounds, occupations, personality traits, opinions, and flaws. The disciples were hardly a group of individuals who all looked alike and thought alike.

Another place we can look is the early church and the problems it experienced.  Paul spends a lot of time in his epistles discussing the Church as a place where everyone has unique gifts to contribute to the healthy, thriving body of believers. He also spends a lot of time discussing conflicts within the Body of Christ and how they need to be handled and resolved for the sake of the Gospel. 

Working together is a BIG DEAL to God. Being a unique individual is a BIG DEAL to God.  Neither one is optional for The Church and its members. It’s a big enough deal that we need to focus on it and stop making assumptions and drawing conclusions about fellow Christians based on what we think they “should” think or “should” be. 

And I think just talking about this issue is an excellent way to start. The first step of any process is identifying the issue at stake. Now we have. Take a bold step and start looking at your own heart. How do you expect believers to be just like you? What differences make you uncomfortable?

If we were all honest with ourselves, I think we would find a lot of expectations for conformity lurking within. Start looking!

"Story Telling"

Jessica Noblett

Since I was a little girl, I’ve devoured books with an insatiable appetite. With three younger siblings running around, this was no easy feat and I developed the ability to shut out literally any noise and hear only the voices of the story. To this day, I whiz through novels in a matter of days, even hours. 

I love being immersed in another world and the hearts and minds of each character. But trying to escape through a book comes with a price and as a child I’d emerge at the end of each book, exhausted, hazy and blinking back into the real world. My world was not as exciting as whatever exotic land I’d been living in for those past few days and coming back down was a bumpy ride. 

I’m beginning to think that maybe I read the Bible the same way. Interesting characters, exciting plot twists, extreme weather conditions, supernatural encounters, good stories- and then back to real life. 

Because otherwise, isn’t it a little strange that we need to learn and be reminded of God’s plan for story telling? After all, I don’t think I know anyone whose relationship with Jesus wasn’t ignited, encouraged or nurtured by the stories of others. How forgetful we are. 

Ironically, one of my favorite Bible stories points to that very thing. It’s in the book of Joshua when God commands the Israelites to build the monument of 12 stones when they reach the other side of the Jordan River. He had them build the monument because otherwise after a generation or two they’d forget what God had done and He saw it coming. Or in Numbers when God tells the Israelites to wear tassels on their garments to remind them to “remember all the commandments of the Lord, to do them, not to follow after your own heart and own eyes.” (Numbers 15.39) 

We may think we’ve come a long way since then, but our memories are no better. These stories remind us that God knows exactly how wayward our hearts are and still remains faithful to us. 

All this to say: how truly incredible is it that one of God’s favorite ways to draw people to Him is through other people’s messy brokenness?! It is so comforting to me to see this constant promise of Jesus that not only will He redeem me, he’s so invested in my mess, so willing to see it through, that He even shows it off to other people and calls it “hope.”

How many of us have people in our lives who instead of shoving our crap in a closet, they show us off to everyone near and dear to them, proud of every inch of us? It’s a kind of love, a kind of acceptance, that’s practically unheard of.

It’s exactly the kind of love worth talking about.

Potty Blog

Sarah Howard

“Mommy! Bethie’s trying to hurt me! Mommy, she’s going to hurt me! Mommy!” Ava, my three year old daughter, is sitting on the toilet, basically freaking out. She’s crying, and frantically pulling the toilet seat lid that’s behind her against her back as tightly as her little hands can, so that she’s sandwiched between the actual toilet seat and the toilet seat lid.

This same scene has been happening every afternoon for the past 2 weeks or so. One day Bethany, my 11 month old daughter, realized that while her older sister was ‘going poopies,’ she could pull herself up and stand right next to her sister. Unfortunately, Bethany has started to grab the toilet seat lid from behind Ava and slam it into Ava’s head. Needless to say, it’s been an unpleasant experience for Ava when Bethany grabs that lid. Hence, the freaking out on Ava’s part when Bethany starts crawling in her direction.

About 3 days ago, I decided that it was time for me to step in and stop Bethany’s little habit. It was time for me to teach Bethany that although she could stand next to Ava, she would NOT be allowed to even touch the toilet seat lid anymore. Ava, however, has still been crying at her sister’s approach. Her anxiety is obvious in her little hands clutching that toilet seat lid against her back with all of her strength. 

In the midst of this potty dilemma the other day, Ava and I had a powerful conversation. Bethie was crawling towards Ava on the toilet. Ava was doing her routine of freaking out. I had been trying to counsel Ava to realize that her sister wouldn’t hurt her. Ava wasn’t listening. All of the sudden, I said to her, 

     “Ava! Stop!”

That got her attention. I said,

     “Your mommy is here.

     Your mommy is your helper. 

     I will take care of Bethany.

     I will teach her to not touch that part of the potty.

     That’s MY job.

      I am helping you.

     You are safe.

     I will not let her hurt you.

     I want you to let go of the lid.

     I want you to take a deep breath and relax.”

She half-way relaxed…and loosened her grip on the lid. I said,

      “My job is to teach Bethie.

       YOUR job is to sit on the potty and relax.

       YOUR job is to trust your mommy. Trust that she’ll take care of Bethie.

       YOUR job is NOT to teach Bethie or hold onto the lid so she doesn’t hurt you.”

Ava looked at me, and said, “But, Mommy, I want to hold onto the lid so that Bethie can’t get it. Is that the wrong thing to do?” I took a deep breath and said,

      “Yes. That’s the wrong thing.

      You need to let go of the lid and trust that Mommy will do her job. 

      You don’t have to do Mommy’s job.

      The right thing for you to do is to SMILE and say, ‘My Mommy is my helper. 

      She will help me with Bethie.”

So we practiced saying that. We practiced smiling. We practiced deep breaths and relaxing. 

Later on, sitting in Sundays’ sermon, I thought, talk about Gospel Thinking!!! I know I’m not God, but I was, through God’s grace and help, coaching my daughter to practice ‘Gospel thinking’ principles while she pooped! Nate said,

      “Gospel thinking focuses on: Who is God? What does God do? 

      Who am I as a result? What should I do as a result?

      False Gospel thinking focuses on: What do I have to do? Who am I as a result?

      What, then, must God do? And as a result, who is God?”

Ava started with False Gospel thinking: ‘I need to protect myself from getting hurt! If I can keep myself from getting smashed, I’m safe. If I can’t, I’m not safe. My Mommy has to keep Bethie from even standing up next to me. If she does, she’s helping me. If Bethie is allowed to stand next to me, she is not helping me and I am alone.’

The Gospel thinking order was completely opposite for her: ‘My Mommy is my helper. My Mommy is keeping me safe and teaching Bethie. As a result, I am safe. I can relax. I can smile. I don’t have to freak out.’

That situation spoke to me. I so often ‘clutch the toilet seat lid’ and freak out. I’m guessing we all do. God, give us grace as a church to learn to invert our False Gospel thinking! Give us grace to learn to do Gospel thinking well…then we can let go of the lid and take a deep breath.

How about you? Can you identify ‘false Gospel thinking’ in your everyday life yet?

My chains are gone, I've been set free

​Sherry Engel

“My chains are gone, I've been set free

My God, my Savior has ransomed me

And like a flood His mercy reigns

Unending love, amazing grace”

After the events of last week, how can you not correlate the words “My chains are gone, I’ve been set free” with the miraculous escape from bondage of Gina, Amanda and Michelle.  Living in bondage for so many years, and even when there’s an opportunity to escape, two of the three are paralyzed by something, holding them back from freedom from their captor.

It made me think about our everyday life and what Pastor Nate shared in last week’s sermon about the Gospel, “Good News”.  We, just like Gina, Amanda and Michelle, have an opportunity to escape from our bondage but continue to be slaves to our sin. Why?  What paralyzes us from freedom?

Do you live in bondage to something, anything?  Maybe it’s work, people-pleasing, substance abuse, anxiety; the list could go on and on. So, what’s your story?  

Did you ever wish you could live a different story? How do you live a different story? How do we escape from bondage?

Over the course of the past few years I have been searching for that different story.  The problem was that I was looking for another “life circumstance” story, not the story that God has planned for me.  The searching of that story left me more in bondage than ever, wondering why God didn’t provide when I was such a faithful servant.  As I’ve learned to change my perspective, I’ve realized who I am. I’ve realized that God is all-knowing, all-powerful and all good, and if this is the life story he has chosen for me, it must be the best story there is.  I’ve learned that life on this earth isn’t utopia and never will be, but I’ve also learned that someday “there will be no more tears”.

How did I learn to live this different story?  I am so blessed that as I called upon God, the Holy Spirit guided me.  He guided me to Living Faith Alliance Church, and to an amazing Pastorate family. He guided me to a great group of theological study friends and to an amazing counselor, and he continues to guide in my everyday thoughts and actions.

What do you need to do to live the different story?

There are Friends and there are “Friends”

​Jeff Hyson

“No man is an island.” – John Dunne, 1624

“I am an island.” – Paul Simon, 1966

Much has been written in recent years about the fact that technology, and in particular social media, has made us a less social species. Given the fact that I have around 200 “friends” on Facebook, whom I can interact with at the drop of a hat, surely my circle of influence has to be greater now than it would have been in, say, 1950.  But what if I was able to compare my social life with that of an average man in 1950.  We would compare his friends with my “friends.”  First, he would probably have far fewer friends.  Second, he would probably have deeper friendships than I do.  

Never in the history of the world have we had such instant access and so many connections with so many people, and never before have our social connections been so shallow.  Am I in relationship with all of my FB friends?  It’s a tricky question.  I probably know (or knew) most of them in real life.  Can I impact their lives?  Do they even want me to?

When our circle of influence is continually getting wider and shallower, sharing Jesus in impactful ways can get harder.  I want to be ready to show Jesus to the depressed, anxious, and hopeless people that I know are among my 200 FB friends.  The problem is that I don’t want to show the love of Jesus in shallow ways. Sharing an inspirational picto-quote just doesn’t cut it for me.  How do we cultivate real relationships as they become less and less common?

I think it starts with exactly what Diego was talking about on Sunday.  Jesus didn’t come seeking those who were already righteous (or self-righteous, perhaps).  But I’m not talking about my FB friends who seem to have it all together.  I’m talking about us.  It seems like more often than not, we like to be connected to so many people because it makes us feel good about ourselves.  We can have a connection, albeit as deep as a dinner plate, with a lot of people.  We suppress our need for real relationships, because we have so many “friends”.

There are real actual people, not profile pics and wall posts, within our circle of influence who need real actual relationships.  Twitter and Facebook are nice tools for connecting with people, but when it replaces relationships, we lose something.  Relationships take effort.  Being close enough to see that someone is hurting or seeking or ready to accept love means putting in the time to selflessly love them.  

Social media is great for keeping in touch, but if you ever hear me suggesting a new pastorate that only meets on the internet, remind me that no man is an island.

Vision Problems

​Nancy Vasquez

I have vision problems.

Matt Cohen’s story of planting and growing a church in Philly was compelling, thought-provoking, and full of Scriptural Truth, yet I walked away with a nagging uneasiness about the message.

It wasn’t an issue with the speaker. It was with me.

My gut reaction was to say, How am I supposed to plant churches? I’m not young, dynamic and full of energy. I feel wild and crazy if I can stay up until 11pm. And I certainly don’t have the social skills to go out and recruit people for a brand new church.

You see, I think the vision to plant churches is great...as long as it doesn’t involve me...it’s just not my “thing.” Oh sure, I’ll volunteer for all kinds of ministries that are comfortable for me. Ones that use my skill sets and make me feel safe. But not, you know, ones where I don’t belong or excel at.

As I reviewed my notes from the sermon in the midst of this stream of thought, I saw one of the speaker’s points that I had written down. As the new church hit difficulty, the pastor was forced to come to the end of himself and realize how “unprayerful” he was.

This is my vision problem. This is what I wasn’t seeing. It’s not about me or what I want or what I can do or what makes me feel good. It’s not about my social skills or my energy level or lack thereof. I’ve learned much over the past few years about my identity in Christ and my purpose in His kingdom, but it is so easy to unwittingly fall back into self-centered blindness. 

Only when I drop the “me” from the frame can I truly release myself into what Jesus wants for me and what I can do for Him and what skills He wants me to use in what place at what time to further His agenda.

I can’t say I fully understand the church planting concept yet, and I sure don’t know yet what my place is in this endeavor. But I do know that I need to be in prayer for this vision of our church, and purposefully be asking what Christ wants me to do with it. So I’m praying, His will, not mine, be done.

What are some ways you are working though “vision problems?”