You are NOT alone! Top 10 Words of Wisdom from CCEF Conference

Sherry Engel

This past weekend I had the amazing opportunity to attend the Christian Counseling Education Foundation conference in Frisco, Texas.  It was an uplifting experience, with great insights into relationships with each other and with our triune God.  I thought I’d share my top ten pieces of wisdom gained.  You can find more info on these great sessions as well at www.CCEF.org. 

1. God is intentional with His relationships.  He sought you. ~ David Powilson

• When you feel alone, what can you do to recall the intentional, pursuing love that God has for you?

2. All relationships, and each interaction within that relationship, are intentional.  You are either building bridges or walls. ~ David Powilson

• Take one person, think about your interactions with them.  What are you doing to build bridges or walls?

3. Jesus keeps us warm because this world is cold.  ~Elyse Fitzpatrick

4. Dating is a mutual ministry, mutual delight.  ~ Alasdair Groves

• Are you and the person you are dating pointing each other to Christ? Helping each other grow spiritually?

5. The role of a friend is to help you renarrate your life in the light of Jesus Christ. ~ Mike Emlet

• How intentional are you with your friendships?  Do you know people well enough to do this?

6. Definition of compassion:  Being moved by the hardships of another.  Truly bearing the other person’s burden.  Compassion breaks through isolation.  Jesus enters into our hardships.  He is moved.  He acts. ~ Ed Welch

• How are you showing compassion to those closest to you?

7. The Holy Spirit doesn’t just represent the power of Christ, but the very Presence of Christ.  You are NOT alone. ~ Winston T Smith

• Can you think of one verse that demonstrates Jesus’ presence with us through the Holy Spirit?

8. God  creates.  The world corrupts.  We must build bridges with our children to help them interpret life in Godly ways.  We must pursue our children and be intentional in our discussions. ~ Julie Lowe

• What barriers do you find in building these bridges with your children?

9. With false peace, comes bad fruit.  Conflict is necessary.  Jesus uses it. ~ Cecelia Bernhardt

• What are you avoiding that is leading to bad fruit?

10. Marriage without friendship is the worst isolation.  Church without friendship is the worst isolation.  A friend is present and open his heart and mind to you. ~ Ed Welch

• Are you present in your friendships? Do you have an open heart and mind?  Are you intentionally seeking others?

Selfish Me

Sherry Engel

Before reading this blog entry, I’d like you to take just a minute and reflect on what matters the most to you.  When you wake up in the morning, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?  What occupies the majority of your thoughts in a day?

Maybe you’re like many people and your thoughts turn to the busyness of your day, the work schedule, the bills that need paid, the homework that didn’t get done the night before.  Maybe you’re a future-focused person, so your thoughts dwell on the next achievement in your life, whether in your career, your finances, or even in your personal relationships. Maybe your thoughts are deeply rooted in your care and concern for others, so your thoughts dwell on other people, even the welfare of your family members. Do any of these sound familiar to you?                                      

How many of you answered the above questions by saying that what matters the most to you is fulfilling God’s purpose and plan for you?  Being honest, I can’t say that that’s how my thoughts are all the time.  I do pray all of the time for God to keep his purpose and plan at the forefront of all of my thoughts and actions.  There are many days that is exactly where my heart, soul and mind are.  And on those days, it is so deeply rooted that the spirit is just overflowing with that in me.  On other days, the battle ensues between the flesh and the spirit, and the “selfish me” appears.  And the funny thing is, most of the time the selfish me really isn’t even about me, but it is about “the world”.  It’s about the schedule that won’t allow me to spend as much time helping others as I want, it’s about not being able to get through to the people that I care about, it’s about obstacles that surface trying to do God’s work, it’s about normal everyday relationships.        

So what do we do when we feel the pressures of our own “little kingdoms”?

In a past sermon from our sermon archives, Pastor Nate, spoke about “big kingdom” living, as Paul Tripp, author of “A Quest for More: Living for Something Bigger than You”  calls it.  It’s all about looking up and out and not focusing on self.  As Nate describes it, when the arrows of your thoughts and actions are first pointed to God, then pointed to others, then God takes care of you.  All of HIS arrows will be pointed directly at you.

So what do I do when I start getting into the “selfish me” mindset?  Here’s what I found helpful:

• I visualize in my mind actual arrows pointing directly to God, then arrows pointed directly at those I care about.  I try to remove myself, my feelings, completely from the situation (I’m not saying this is always easy.)  Because you see, in my heart and soul, I 100% trust God’s plan for me.  In my heart and soul, I 100% know HE will supply everything according to my needs. 
• I use the tools God gave me…searching HIS word, and time in prayer and reflection. HE has all of the answers.  All we need to do is search for them.
• I rely on wonderful Christian friends to support me.
• I write! And thus this entry….today was one of those “selfish me” days…and with a little bit of God’s word, a little fellowship with a dear friend, a little writing, and a lot of talking to God, I’m already starting to refocus my arrows! 

For any of you struggling with what this crazy life is all about, I strongly recommend Paul’s book titled “A Quest for More: Living for Something Bigger than You”.  

I can do it myself!

Sherry Engel

This morning’s sermon reminded me of a phrase I’ve heard a lot lately.  A friend’s young son wants to be independent like his older brother, and declares “I can do it myself!”  Then there’s his grandfather who recently had a stroke, that reclaims that same phrase as his own when people patronize him, he says, “I can do it myself!”  That phrase resonates so strong with me as well.  My father taught me to be strong and independent, to work for what you get.   “I can do it myself!”

The reality of relying on Jesus and not myself hit me this week.  As Eli and I prepare to serve on mission in West Virginia, we were short on our fundraising.  I thought to myself, “I’ll never go on another mission trip because this fundraising is too stressful, thinking I needed to do it.  I needed to have the money.”  What I realized not five minutes later was that’s exactly why I need to go on another mission trip.  It’s teaching me to rely on God, not on myself.  This is a lesson God keeps trying to pound in my brain.  You would think after all He’s shown me through His strength in the last few years that I would “get it”.  Guess I’m a slow learner.

So the problem is, there are some things that we cannot do for ourselves.  That is what Nate spoke of today.  No matter how we look at it, every single one of us has a list of sins that we have committed, and that list continues to grow each day.  We can try really hard, but in this lifetime, on this earth, we will not achieve perfection.  Right now, we cannot be just like Christ.  However the Good News is we will be someday!  The day that Christ returns we will achieve perfection.  We will be like Christ.  That’s all part of Justification.  Christ bore our sins and because of that, our slates are wiped clean! We have been made righteous.   It’s free, simply for having faith and believing.

Some religions will speak of the works a person must do to enter into heaven.  I know that works won’t get me to heaven, only Christ has that power through his dying on the cross for me.  Are my works important?  Of course, they are.  But they are important because it is a demonstration of Christ working in me, and through me, not for me to earn my way into heaven.  None of us are capable of that.

I’ve reflected a lot lately on those who from worldly standards appear to have accomplished the “perfect life” on this earth.  Those who are proud of their accomplishments and their strength that have gotten them where they are, but are void of God.   I feel sadness for what they are missing out on.  I pray that someday, before they leave this earth, before Jesus returns, that they can realize that only in our weakness is Jesus strong.  He will save us for all eternity, we just need to exercise faith and believe.

Can you join me in praying we’ll find our weaknesses made strong in Jesus?

My chains are gone, I've been set free

​Sherry Engel

“My chains are gone, I've been set free

My God, my Savior has ransomed me

And like a flood His mercy reigns

Unending love, amazing grace”

After the events of last week, how can you not correlate the words “My chains are gone, I’ve been set free” with the miraculous escape from bondage of Gina, Amanda and Michelle.  Living in bondage for so many years, and even when there’s an opportunity to escape, two of the three are paralyzed by something, holding them back from freedom from their captor.

It made me think about our everyday life and what Pastor Nate shared in last week’s sermon about the Gospel, “Good News”.  We, just like Gina, Amanda and Michelle, have an opportunity to escape from our bondage but continue to be slaves to our sin. Why?  What paralyzes us from freedom?

Do you live in bondage to something, anything?  Maybe it’s work, people-pleasing, substance abuse, anxiety; the list could go on and on. So, what’s your story?  

Did you ever wish you could live a different story? How do you live a different story? How do we escape from bondage?

Over the course of the past few years I have been searching for that different story.  The problem was that I was looking for another “life circumstance” story, not the story that God has planned for me.  The searching of that story left me more in bondage than ever, wondering why God didn’t provide when I was such a faithful servant.  As I’ve learned to change my perspective, I’ve realized who I am. I’ve realized that God is all-knowing, all-powerful and all good, and if this is the life story he has chosen for me, it must be the best story there is.  I’ve learned that life on this earth isn’t utopia and never will be, but I’ve also learned that someday “there will be no more tears”.

How did I learn to live this different story?  I am so blessed that as I called upon God, the Holy Spirit guided me.  He guided me to Living Faith Alliance Church, and to an amazing Pastorate family. He guided me to a great group of theological study friends and to an amazing counselor, and he continues to guide in my everyday thoughts and actions.

What do you need to do to live the different story?

I'm Not Good Enough!

Blog entry:  

Sherry Engel

A few weeks ago, I looked over the schedule of bloggers, when I realized that I was scheduled to write the blog entry for the Easter Sunday sermon. My mind immediately went to, Oh No! I’m not good enough.  Really!!!!…. how could I write about the most important message of all time?!?

Rewind my life about 20 years and I recall a similar thought pattern.  Jesus doesn’t want me.  I’m not good enough. I try to be a good person, but I’ll never be the “perfect Christian”.  I can’t stand hypocrites, so how could I profess to be a Christian but still make the mistakes I make.  I can’t be baptized, committing to Jesus, because there’s no way I’ll live up to those standards.

Thankfully, I wasn’t left to hang out in this misery.  It was like a brick hit me over the head and helped me to see, “THAT’S THE POINT….. I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH!  If I was good enough, I wouldn’t need a savior.  If I was good enough, I wouldn’t need anyone to help me navigate life.  I can’t live the perfect life, only He did.  I need Jesus and He loves me even with all of my imperfections.

In fact all of my failed attempts at perfection, to be good enough, have only made me more desperate for a savior.  Someone perfect who will win despite all of my fears and failures.  Having that kind of savior in my life is the kind of good news I want to hold onto each day.

So while I continue to struggle with the sinful battle of trying to be “good enough”, trying to control my life, I now know I have a savior that will guide and help me along the way.

Pastor Nate’s sermon articulated it well, I have a savior that…

• died so that I would have the assurance that He is King and is in control and that I have nothing to worry about 
• allows me to set aside my false saviors including myself
• over powers death and gives me eternal life
• gives me a new life filled with the overwhelming power of the spirit of Jesus Christ living within me

So while I’m not good enough, I am loved enough.  Enough that Jesus died and the Father brought Him back to life for me, to guide me to become more and more like Him.  I bank my hope on this, and one day, because of His gift, I will be perfect, just like Him!

Wake up!

Did you ever just want to scream at someone: your kids, your friends, your spouse, anyone , to say “Wake Up”! Why can’t you see clearly?  That’s what I feel right now. “Why can’t all this wisdom I’ve gained change YOU?!?”

Think back to when you were in your late teens and someone tried to impact some truth on you.  How did you react?  I know what I thought…they’re clueless.  They just don’t get it.  I remember my father’s “Haroldisms”, as we called his words of wisdom.  Back then, I didn’t get it. Today though, they resonate clearly.  I remember a friend’s father repeating over and over, “Faith comes by hearing, hearing by the Word of God.”  At the time, I thought he was annoying and irritating, but now those words are seared in my mind.  I also remember watching a Godly woman demonstrate what a Christian wife and mother should live like.  Qualities that I aspire to today.

In this week’s sermon, Pastor Nate discussed being prepared for judgment day when Jesus returns.   He shared,  “My desire is that you would just wake up.”   Wouldn’t it be wonderful if it was just that easy to “wake up”  or that easy to “wake up” the ones we love?

If any of you are parents of a child entering adulthood, you can understand.  You love your children and want the best for them but you aren’t in control when it comes to changing their hearts.  In his sermon Pastor Nate noted how preparedness is not something you can transfer to another person.  Each individual has to make up their own mind.  It comes down to their choice, not yours. 

That’s a tough place to be when you love your children so deeply.  I’m learning through this season in my life that I’m not my children’s savior, Jesus is.  And sometimes God has to rock our kids hard, in order to wake them.  So as a parent, you may need to get out of the way and let your child be woken up. 

Reflecting back over the last 20 years, I realize God didn’t just bring me out of my sleep all at once, but gradually, awakened me.  So while you may just want to scream at someone to “Wake up! Jesus is coming!”   You may just need to quietly continue to plant the seeds.

How can you plant seeds to help others to gradually “wake-up”?

Blog entry by:  Sherry Engel

Scars

What do Candy Lightner, Donna Whitson, Bill Wilson, and Robbie Parker all have in common? 

• Candy Lightner –  lost daughter in a drunk driving accident - founder of Mothers Against Drunk Driving
• Donna Whitson – daughter kidnapped and murdered - co-founder of the Amber Alert
• Bill Wilson – suffered with alcoholism - co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous
• Robbie Parker – lost a daughter in Newtown shooting - a light to others during the tragic loss of his child

All of these people experienced extreme pain and sadness. All of these people turned their sorrow into love in action.

Every single one of our lives is full of hurts of one kind or another.  There is no one exempt from brokenness.  So situations come into our lives.  We experience pain.  We have scars from that pain.  What do we do with those scars?  Do we just cover them up? Do we become bitter and angry? What we do with the pain we’ve experienced is pivotal. 

Baron Batch, Pittsburgh Steelers running back puts it this way. 

 “God gives us scars sometimes to remind us where we’ve been and more importantly how he’s healed us.  Once we have those scars we can show people and say, look, this is what God’s done for me. “

Pastor Nate’s message last week taught how we should Love All.  He defined love as a big deal, in action, with a specific target.   We can easily become overwhelmed by pain, either our own or by the world’s. We can’t fight the fight for every single battle that exists. God created us with limits. But as Mother Theresa put it, “If I look at the masses, I will never act. If I look at the one, I will.”

Look around you. Look at the one. Who is hurting? Who is hurting like you’ve hurt? How could God be calling you to Love All through your scars?

Blog entry by:  Sherry L. Rhone-Engel