Image Bearers

(By Thor Knutstad)

Many people come to me throughout the day for counsel and advice. They want answers and they desire to be fixed or have their situation and context changed. But what they really want is courage and comfort. They want encouragement and affirmation of what the Spirit of God is already doing inside of them and outside of their situation. They are not looking for answers, though they often would disagree. They want to be known - really known - and understood in their human souls on deeper levels. This craving exists not in weakness but mainly in being an Image Bearer. You are an Image Bearer of God. We all are.

My sons are image bearers of me. They are unlike me yet quite a lot like me in many, many ways. They bear my image and my nature, though they are uniquely designed and created by God. They do resemble me- they look like me and sometimes even act like me- Lord help them. I want my children to KNOW me - to see my faults, my struggles, my strengths, my desires and the very being of my heart. This reveals who I am but also gives them the inner edge of knowing who they are as well. It is the genius of a Father's Grand Design- we are more like Him (yes, God) than unlike Him. Are we sinners? Absolutely. Mini self serving sovereigns? Sometimes. Desperately in need of Christ's saving work? Fully! But also, we are Princes and Princesses of the King. As honored sons and daughters, He is our inheritance and we will reign with Him. We are Royalty. We wear those crowns and robes.

Dear friends, don't condemn or accuse yourself with this biblically assumed fact that is oft overlooked- You are God's Child, His Offspring. Man- His ruddy and handsome son. Woman- His beautiful and decorated daughter. Simply stated and with simple meaning. If you have children or love children or love a child (all of you!), then you know the heart of your Father, our Glorious God. He made you to bear His Image. Why? Because it's really who you are already anyway. You are His Image.

He's just showing you what's already there and will stop at nothing to make you and me look more like His Son, King Jesus. It's right when you think you look just like Him that you hover near legalism and being a Pharisee - one who stands above another sinful Image bearer brother or sister and says, "Thank God I'm not like him (or her)." I'd rather you and I be the chest-beating, honest sinners who crave The Image but daily cower before our great God asking for mercy because we are moving toward His Image; His Image requires and demands it. Shepherd well your ambassadorship, oh dear Princess and Prince. The King is not so interested in you earning a crown but in showing you that you already wear it and resemble Him and bear the mark of His Holy name. Just like my hand holds the one of my son Bryn, so His (my Lord God's) firmly holds mine- and yours, too. Praise Him.

The Answer Is Blowin' In The Wind

Dominick Baruffi

“I have a hard time with decisions.”

That’s the first thing I typed out a few minutes ago when I started writing. Almost immediately my fingers flashed to the backspace key, and my sentence was deleted. No, I thought. That’s not right. After thinking about it for a minute, I realized it’s not making decisions I have a hard time with. Really, it’s options. 

I am terrible with options. I’d like to think I’m a pretty simple guy; in my mind, options only complicate things. For example, if you’re ever out to dinner with me, just watch what happens when the waitress hands me the menu. I react like I’ve just been given a math test. Right away, I will unfold my exam and begin to scan the lists of tasty dishes and their one-line summaries, all while my brain, stomach, and taste buds form a panel of judges to decide for me what my best choice is. Sometimes I will pick my head up just so I remember to breathe. 

And as ridiculous as this sounds, I think you know what I’m talking about. You might not have trouble picking between your red shirt and your blue shirt in the morning like I do, but I bet you know where I’m coming from. It’s usually not the decisions between good and bad we have a hard time with, is it? The trouble comes when we have to choose between good and good. Or good and better. Obviously, there is no “right” answer when you’re choosing your entrée at a restaurant. It’s just a matter of what you want most, what you think is best. 

This issue is all the more complicated by the fact that I claim to be a Christian and I have the whole issue of God’s will to contend with. Now, don’t misunderstand me; I don’t think it really matters to God whether I get lo-mien or pork-fried rice at the Chinese buffet tonight (because really, I’m going to regret my decision either way in the morning, so why complicate things?). But what about all the important decisions I have coming up in the next year? Where should I live? Should I change jobs? How much should my wedding cost? What if I don’t choose what God wants me to choose? Does God work like that?

Lots of options. And lots of opportunities to be wrong.

And that’s the issue for me. I just don’t want to be wrong. I’m tired of following my own way, a way that is inherently self-indulgent and always leaves me worse off than before. I want my life to count. I want to do something worthwhile. I want to matter in the grand scheme of things. And I think the problem is I view life as just that: a grand problem that I’m supposed to solve. And in case you’re wondering, I stink at math.

* * * * * 

Let me throw a verse out to you:

“The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit." ~John 3:8

This verse comes from the conversation Jesus has with Nicodemus about being born again. When Nicodemus asks Jesus if being born again means literally re-entering his mother’s womb, Jesus explains to him that it is not a rebirth of the body that takes place but a birthing of the Spirit of God in our own soul. It is a joining of our heart and will and desires with the heart and will and desires of the living God. Jesus uses the wind metaphor here to illustrate how the Spirit moves in us. It is not something we can calculate or predict through the use of a formula, nor is it something we can measure and record. Heck, we can’t even see it. But we feel it. We know it’s there. 

You know what this is like, don’t you? You’ve been there. You’ve been in a situation before, and you had no idea why, but you felt as though you were being pulled in a direction, almost like an internal compass was showing you the way. Maybe it pointed you in a direction that forced you to go down roads you hoped never to go down (or go down again), but nevertheless the arrow pointed true. This is what being led by the Spirit is like. It is wild. It is unpredictable. And it is unbelievable.

I have found that I am most myself when I see Dominick the way God sees Dominick, and the only way that happens is when I close the door and open the Word, or take a walk, or pull out my journal, or dialogue with the Father throughout the course of my day. I guess the specifics of how aren’t quite as important as the intention behind it; it’s getting to know the heart of God, however that may look. And time in His presence yields a surprising result: we are transformed.

So today, slow yourself down a bit, enough that you can feel the wind blow; let it guide you, scary as it may be, wherever it will. It might not help you order dinner, but it will lead you to life.

How Dysfunctional Is Our Family? Not Yours, Ours.

(By Diego Cuartas)

Recent interactions with people within the church have left me wondering how we are doing when it comes to relating to the Body of Christ and modeling relationships after the character of our Covenant Father. There seems to be a revolving door through which men and women, believers from all kinds of walks, come and go because they are not staying long.

I remember my family of origin had a unique characteristic that was both an asset and a liability. If I can say it this way, we were plainly nice at any cost. The asset helped us on the one hand to find ways to be hospitable and allowed us to connect with others in ways that would help them feel welcomed and cared for. The liability reared its head when tension or conflict was present with another person and being lovingly honest with them seemed like too big of a price to pay. Growing up in my family context shaped me in ways that I am sure account in part for the dysfunctional or distorted view I developed of people. I began to view people as really BIG at the expense of reducing God’s size to a smaller one. People-pleasing became one of my normal currencies in my relational exchanges with people. It was not long into my young adult years that I realized how dysfunctional my contribution to friends, coworkers, family, dating and even serving others was. There is no doubt that my relating patterns were now reflecting in some way my family value called “niceness”.

A verse I had journaled back in February of this year describes for me the character of our heavenly Father, which He in turn desires for us to reflect in our relationships with other believers within the Body of Christ. Consider with me this precious statement presented in Deuteronomy 4:31:

“For the Lord your God is a merciful God. He will not leave you or destroy you or forget the covenant with your fathers that he swore to them.”

Notice that our heavenly Father regards His relationship with us as a covenant. Granted, this is a very unbalanced covenant because He is willing to contribute His best and most even though we fall short of meeting his personal expectations and standards. Thanks be to God that this is not how we are to always live. When we are in Christ, the disproportion of this covenant is leveled by a mercy that satisfies the deepest longings of our Father. We could say that the commitment God has toward us is only based on the sacrifice made by another. Furthermore, we learn that this Father will never leave us or destroy us. No matter what happens, He will not forget that what joins us to Him is the covenant He initiated and facilitated through the blood of His own Son.

Why then do we enter and exit relationships with others within the Body of Christ so easily? How deep is our commitment? How long is our forbearance? How merciful is our heart? I believe the dysfunctional symptoms we experience in the present time within our local communities of faith can’t be healed by treating the community as a whole. The renewing in the way we do relationships will happen when each individual takes a step- a step that is in keeping with our Covenant Father. Where we learn from Him and lean on His resources until all possible ones have been exhausted. Where we bring honestly our personal poverty so that richness can be ours at the end. Where we fight for unity. And only after we have prayed and exhausted all the possible resources given to us will we say it’s time to part ways. I hope with time the revolving door will move slower only to give entrance to newcomers!

If you are in need of practical ways to do your part in bringing health to our dysfunctional family, I encourage you to read and follow the Apostle Paul’s prescriptions of our Covenant Father found in Ephesians 4.

Homerun

Sarah Howard

I’ve been pretty discouraged about the state of my house recently.  The other day my in-laws came over to take my 2 daughters out to lunch.  I was hoping to meet them at the door and send the girls off without a trip inside to see the new level of squalor we had stooped to.  Unfortunately, I missed that window of opportunity by being upstairs when they arrived, so I had to face the inevitable: someone’s entrance into my house. When they stepped inside, there really wasn’t any place for them to even stand.  They had to kind of step inside the door and stop cold because there literally was no place to step without stepping on something.  When they brought the girls back home after their date, Ava, my oldest, went upstairs to use the bathroom.  As I’m swaddling up my youngest to get her ready for a nap, I catch the words, “Oh, we forgot to give Ava a goodbye kiss” come out of my mother-in-law’s mouth.  Oh dear.  Inwardly, I am cringing.  This is going to be embarrassing.  Climbing those stairs is going to be more like ascending Mount Everest for all the crap they’re going to have to vault over to make it upstairs.  When they reached the bathroom, not only do they still have nowhere to even stand, but this time, it’s not only toys that are littering the floor, but also underwear.  Cute.  

Of course, it’s not always that bad.  We usually have space to at least walk in our house.  But at least one room is almost always a mess. It just seems like as soon as I get one room looking somewhat picked-up, another room seems to explode.  Or I get the house more or less cleaned up one day, and the next it’s looking like I haven’t cleaned in months.  

In the past, I haven’t been too bothered by all this.  I would just keep plugging along, cleaning up.  Last month, though, I started getting frustrated.  I started grumbling under my breath.  I thought up a derogatory name for our house (which would be inappropriate for me to share on a church blog).  I couldn’t get that nickname for our house out of my mind and it was making me angrier every time I thought of it. But more than being frustrated, I started asking myself questions.  

I started wondering if my messy house meant something more than a messy house.  I started wondering if it meant that I was failing as a mom.  I started thinking of all my mom-friends that have spotless houses.  Now, I know any mom-friend would say that their house is not spotless, but in my mind it seemed like everyone else had a spotless house.  Like everyone else could keep up with these mom-responsibilities…and I couldn’t.  In my mind, it seemed like my messy house was condemning me as a bad mom.

One night in the middle of this ‘messy house = failure mom’ mental struggle, my husband and I watched a baseball movie together.  Not really where I’d expect God to show up.  Not really where I’d expect Him to speak into my questions about my worth as a woman.  But He did.

There I am, watching this baseball movie that’s all about scouting and money and statistics, when this stunning scene hits me right smack in the middle of my ‘Is everyone else in the whole world able to keep up except me?’ struggle.  In the movie, the main character is a baseball scout who tries to change the inner workings of the game by using a technique of team development that no one else has ever tried before.  He takes a team that is destined to lose, due to lack of financial resources, and turns them into an almost-winning team.

The main character has done something completely incredible in the game of baseball.  What he did, when seen from an objective point of view, was a complete success.  He brought the team from loss after loss to win after win.  I don’t remember the exact stats, but it was stunning what he did.  At the end of the season, though, he feels like a complete loser, because he didn’t reach his ideal of winning the World Series.  

In this scene at the end of the movie, the main character is talking to his assistant about how he failed, and the assistant insists that his boss sees a video clip of a baseball player.  The video was of a player who would always, always, always only make it to first base.  He never hit more than a single.  The video clip showed the one time the man decided to run to second base, and what he had always feared, happened: he fell down as he was rounding, and ended up having to scramble back to first base on his stomach.  How embarrassing!  But then the clip shows everyone on the field yelling, telling him to get up and run.  That’s when he realizes that he actually hit a home run, without even knowing it!   Here he is, feeling like a complete failure, when he actually hit a home run.  And through this video, the scout’s assistant is basically telling the main character that even though he lost the World Series, even though it wasn’t perfectly ideal, he still ‘hit a home run’ that season. 

When I saw that scene, of both the player hitting a home run without even knowing it, and of the scout doing an amazing thing but not being able to see it because he was blinded by his ideals, I felt God speak directly to my heart.  “Sarah,” He said, “You are hitting a home run in your home…and you don’t even know it.”  He was telling me that, yes, my ideal for a perfectly spotless house wasn’t being met.  I don’t live in a Pottery Barn catalogue.  But I’m still hitting a home run.  I’m loving my precious daughters.  I’m using my energy and strength every day to mother them, to raise them to love Him.  I’m serving my family by continuing to pick up my house.  I’m learning to give up more and more of myself for my family.  I’m growing in responsibility.  I’m on a trajectory of success as a mom.  Looking around, I might feel like a failure but I’m actually winning.  I’m hitting a home run.  

Man, that spoke deeply to my soul.  I’m not a failure!  I’m not expending all this energy only to find out that I don’t have it in me to be a good mom.  I’m actually succeeding!  My definition of success has just been different than God’s definition has been for me.  Maybe next time my in-laws come over and there’s no place to stand, I’ll simply say, “It may look like a mess, but guess what? I’m hitting a homerun!”

The Plane is Going Down

(By Tammy Vaughn) 

Have you ever felt that way?

I recently felt like this while taking a trip on an airplane. After being removed from the exit row due to my weight and away from the friend I was traveling with, I was sat next to two teenage boys. The space was tight, they were tall and I was wide. I made several attempts to chit-chat with the guys and make an uncomfortable situation more comfortable. I made several attempts to talk to them and ease the situation, all the while getting more and more uncomfortable inside. I think what I felt was shame- shame that I was overweight and causing a “scene.” I also felt disconnected from my friend who was in the exit row and unable to connect to the people around me. I got quiet. I prayed and God spoke. The thing I love about Jesus is that he is able to speak quickly into our hearts and reframe our minds. It was as if he was saying, “Tammy, I know you. I know that you have been working on losing weight. I am here. You are fine. Be glad for the progress you have made and keep going.” Immediately the storm inside me quieted, shame was gone, I was not alone, I was proud of the progress I have made and I began to read my book quietly. The young men were still uncomfortable, so I said, “Why don’t you go to the exit row and check out the seats?” They moved there, and my friend moved to the seat next to me. At the end of the flight the young men’s father came to me and apologized for any discomfort his sons may have caused me. I graciously accepted and let him know that Jesus was helping me lose weight. Their mother also said that they thought they were going to lay down three seats and sleep. I smiled.

In our lives, especially in healing or recovery, we feel like there is no use, or that we are never going to make progress or get anywhere. I think the story is significant because often small things can get us off of God’s track of healing in our lives. It would totally stink if I gave power to those two young men who I did not even know. If I would have basked in shame, feeling alone or even made fun of, I could have just said “Forget it.” I could have dismissed the forward progress I have made in my weight loss journey. I could have called myself names.

I love Jesus because he is always there, always defending, always cheering us on. Take courage, my friend, if the journey is hard. Jesus is there to help, comfort, guide and assure you when evil comes against you. Quiet your mind, rest in him, listen and obey his word, use it like a sword in a war. You are worth it! The others that you will encourage someday with your story are worth it! Becoming more like Christ is worth it!

Psalm 55:22 “Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.”

“NO” IS NOT A 4 LETTER WORD!”

 (By Lois Robinson)

Back in the day when I was growing up, I was taught that I shouldn’t say curse words, or “4 letter words” as we called them. I won’t elaborate or be more specific with those! Interestingly though, I was also taught I couldn’t say ‘no’ to things that hurt me either. The word ‘yes’ was very acceptable, the good Christian things to say, but the word ‘no’ was out of bounds! That set me up very nicely for major boundary problems that in turn brought lots and lots of problems for me and relationships for many years.

I consider my own counseling journey to be one that cost thousands of dollars to learn how to say ‘no’ - a difficult yet rewarding journey. The rewards far out-weighed the difficulties.

But, you may be asking, “Are boundaries biblical?” “Aren’t we supposed to lay down our lives in order for Christ to rise up in us and say ‘yes’ to everyone in need?” “Lois, where is the true Gospel message in boundaries?”

Well, great questions, and I am so glad you asked! Here we go!

God is a good, loving, perfect, holy parent that loves His children so much that He wrote a whole book of boundaries! It’s called the Bible!

The very first set of boundaries that I read about in the Bible is in Genesis, where God tells Adam and Eve ‘yes’ to all of the trees but ‘no’ to a certain one. He spelled out a set of limitations, or boundaries, out of love for them. Just like when we tell children, “You can play in the backyard, but don’t go into the street,” out of love for them. Good parenting involves setting up healthy boundaries for children to learn to live and in order to protect them. Parents, can you imagine allowing your children to do WHATEVER they wanted to do, WHENEVER and WHEREVER! SMH (shaking my head in Facebook world:) )

God tells us all about the boundary lines He has set up for us out of love so we do not play in the street and have horrible consequences. Unfortunately, most of us really don’t think He means it, so we do the things He tells us not to do. We suffer consequences when we violate His boundaries, then we have the audacity to blame Him, just like Adam and Eve did. We then expect Him to say, maybe like our parents or others have, “It’s OK, I know you didn’t mean it.” Did God say that to Adam and Eve? No, He didn’t, and I am thankful for that! He said “Get out of the garden.” God cannot contradict His word which says “Let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no’”.

I am not sure how many of you reading this blog struggle with saying ‘NO’ or even realized that God was the author of boundaries, not Henry Cloud and John Towncend. They are wonderfully gifted men, and I love their books!! They are a must for your bookshelf by the way. But God is the original author. Henry and John got their insights for the material from the Spirit of God!

My hope would be that this little byte would drive you into the scriptures to see what God does say about this topic, Boundaries and your life! How He sent His Son Jesus to redeem all of the sin that results in pain of living so long without boundaries. Because of Jesus, God allowed my eyes to be opened to the principle of “let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no’”. Before that I said yes to everything and allowed the bad to come in and nearly kill me.

I urge you to check out the following scriptures:

Matthew 5:37
Proverbs 4:23
Proverbs 22:3
Matthew 7:7-12
Matthew 22:37-39
Galatians 6:2-5

Never Stop Doing Good To Me

Jessica Noblett

If there is one theme I see in the blogs I’ve written over these past months, it’s that God’s grace is never static. His purposes are so much bigger than a single person or a single story and His change and grace for one person always seems to also be a catalyst into change and grace for someone else. I think that’s what Nate meant on Sunday when he talked about God’s grace in us and God’s grace through us. 

During the Sunday service, Diana beautifully shared her story of how hard she tried to control her life and how graciously God changed her heart. She said things like -I’m paraphrasing here- she wanted to clean herself up first before she showed true self to Jesus and that she never considered herself in Christ but adjacent to him and always have to keep up to earn that place. 

I completely relate to that mindset, that stronghold, of trying to control my own life; especially the idea that God’s grace isn’t sufficient for me.

I’ve been working through a book called the Gospel Primer over the past few weeks and one of the journaling questions last week said, “how often in your faith journey and as a Christian have you felt like it was up to you to remain close to God?” I was immediately confused. The phrasing of the question made it seem like it wasn’t up to me to remain close to God but my instinctual first response was, “I always feel that way, because that’s the truth.” In fact, even though I have been following Jesus for what I could consider almost my entire life, I had to step back and think about what was actually true. I had to look for Bible verses to confirm it wasn’t up to me just to make sure I wasn’t letting myself off the hook too easily.

Sometimes I try to control things because I think I know best and because I want to do things my way. But other times… I think maybe I control things because I’m just trying to hold up my end of the bargain. God is so gracious and has done so much for me and I discount that very grace by assuming it’s only fair that I meet him halfway. 

During the worship time on Sunday when people spoke truth about God in the Bible verses they had read, someone said, “He will never stop doing good to me.” I’m pretty sure I started crying right then and there (and didn’t stop until the service was over.) He will never stop doing good to me. He reaches out even when I don’t. He is faithful when I’m not. He remains close. 

When I remember that and I take a deep breath and rest in that peace… it doesn’t end there. It makes me want to call up everyone I know and tell them to stop striving, stop controlling, stop doing. Because God’s grace is here and he will never stop doing good to us.