Take Your Place

I have had people ask me what it’s like or how it’s going having two kids. The short answer is that it is going well, I like it, etc. My long answer is what I will attempt to explain to you here. I am not the same Sophia that I was just two short years ago before having children. Being a mother is one of the most challenging and beautiful things God is using to transform me. I am changing, and change is good.

Everyday my strengths and weaknesses are exposed. My multi-tasking skills have gone through the roof, for one thing. I have managed to nurse the baby while spoon-feeding my then 16 month old and feeding myself. However, I am not always patient, neat, gracious or even joyful. I could list other ways our household has changed having experienced the challenges of less “down time,” more messes, and feeling pulled in different directions; but I would be remiss if I didn’t include the joys of little girl giggles, baby cuddles, the wonder of watching them experience new things, lots and lots of singing, reading and being creative, dance parties in the kitchen and talking about how much Jesus loves us. This beautiful smattering of laughter and tears, amazement and frustration is my life right now.

One of the things I am learning through it all is the importance of taking my place and being fully present with no excuses or apologies. No, I may not have the same degree of freedom to hang out late or to even participate in ministry in the same ways I did before, but I wouldn’t change it. My family is a gift to me and an asset, not a burden. I am right where I need to be. I don’t have to rush through this stage or bemoan that I am not single and childfree in order to find significance and contentment. God does not hide himself from me until I make it to the next level. He is where I am. He stands with me when the girls skipped a nap and are having a meltdown from being overtired, and He invites me to take my place and to lean into Him in my limitations. “Be present. I am in this.” When we are looking forward to hanging out with friends but have to choose a time that works best for our schedule as family and its awkward in the exchange, He invites me to take my place. “Keep making the effort. I am in this.”

Are there ways that you struggle with being fully present or feel like you have to apologize to others for the season of life you are in? Whether you are single and people keep asking when you are going to get married or you’re married and people want to know when you are going to have children or your job seems kind of meh in comparison to someone else’s or whatever it may be, I encourage you to take your place. What if you don’t have to be somewhere else but exactly where you are because Jesus is there? In the joy and sorrow of your season of life, God is there. Let us take up our place next to Him and stop apologizing for where we aren’t according to the expectation of others. I trust that as we do, beautiful things will happen and the story we tell with our lives will be much richer than an imitation of someone else or merely a reflection of our culture. Let it begin with me. Hello, my name is Sophia. I am a mom of two under two years old, and I am taking my place.

Eat It, iPhone! (Putting My iPhone In Its Place)

I was starting to feel concerned about myself.

I was finding myself...

...very easily annoyed during the day by my youngest daughter...

...much too quickly frustrated by both my daughters' normal, learning disobedience...

...overwhelmed by and anxious about the lengthy to-do list that was forever looming over my head...

...discontent and really wishing that I could just be doing something else other than playing dolls or breaking up ANOTHER argument between a three-year-old and a five-year-old.

And you know what I found myself wishing I could be doing? What little respite I noticed myself turning to over and over and over again? 

My phone. 

I almost hate jumping on the bandwagon of saying that 'the iPhone is really changing our culture'...but the truth is...I'm finding that it's changing me. And I'm concerned. 

When I first realized that I was concerned about my relationship with my iPhone, I started tuning into how my use of technology leaves me feeling. Here are some of the words I came up with to try to label the disquiet that is growing in me:

• scattered
• fragmented in my mind
• not completely present, mentally and emotionally, frequently with my children and sometimes with my husband
• distracted
• itching to look something up or multitask when I'm playing or talking with my children.

Those descriptions were sobering enough to motivate me to try to find some good resources about technology and its influence on our culture. Here are a few that I spent some time reading:

http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/unsocial-media

http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/six-ways-your-phone-is-changing-you

http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/six-wrong-reasons-to-check-your-phone-in-the-morning

So I read these three articles. And I thought about them throughout my day. Later that night, I plopped down on my couch, tired at the end of the day, and I started praying out loud. 

"Oh, God," I said. "I'm not sure what's going on with me. I am getting so annoyed so easily at Bethie. I don't know if I just need a break from the daily grind of mothering...or if there's something to what I'm wondering about this technology thing...but I need to confess something to You. I think I do have some kind of addiction thing going on with my phone. I want to check it as soon as I wake up. My first thought is CERTAINLY not that I need You, and that I need You desperately for the tasks You've called me to for this day. I don't re-orient my mind when I wake up. I just jump in with my own strength. My own thoughts. My own mindset. And maybe that's part of my annoyance at my precious children. I don't have Your mind inside of me transforming me. I don't even have on my radar most of the time that You commanded the ones that are a part of Your family to love You with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength...and then to love others as themselves. Geez. That's not really part of conscious thoughts about mothering during the day and I'm ashamed to admit it. I need Your forgiveness, Jesus. And You know what else, God? I would rather be Pinterest-ing than playing dollhouse. I would rather be scrolling Facebook than chatting in the car. I'd rather be multi-tasking and getting things done than slowing down and 'uni-tasking'...really being present with my girls. I confess that to You, God. What is best for me and my family and my children doesn't really feel best to me. It feels too hard. I need Your help." 

So when I opened my eyes in the morning, guess what? I didn't touch my phone. I laid there in my bed and I said, "God, I don't have what it takes to mother these girls today. I'm not going to really want to be present with them. But You've got what I need. And You're willing to pour out all that I need for today. So would You help me?"

And then we went through our morning together.

I zipped my phone in my purse. I usually put it on my lap in the car. But I realized that it doesn't really need to be there, does it? There's pretty much nothing that someone will say that I really NEED to answer RIGHT NOW. They can wait a few minutes.

I thought of a list that I needed to make while the girls and I were at Dunkin' Donuts together. But then I thought, 'Well, Lord, there are times to make lists, and there are times to be present with my girls. I won't die if I don't make that list right now. And I won't die if I happen to forget something because I don't write it down this very second. So I just entrust that list of stuff to You. Could You help me to remember it later on at a better time?'

A Pinterest idea popped into my brain. I pushed it aside. No need to be multi-tasking 24-7, always planning and researching my next project. There is time and space for that. But the time should not be 'squeezed into every single extra little second of downtime." 

When we were in the dollar store together, the thought flitted through my mind to grab my phone and check my texts or Facebook just real quick. But guess what?! I had left my phone in the car on purpose! Eat it, iPhone! Not gonna control me and my relationship with my girls anymore! I'm gonna be present to them! I'm gonna look them right in their littles eyes as we're perusing good old dollar store paraphernalia while I can...because the sad thing is that they're gonna be 35 in the blink of an eye. 

And don't these two look like Happy Girls? I happen to think that there's an extra special happiness on their countenances because their Mama chose them today over distraction, over fragmentation, over being scattered. 

And when we got home...they ran upstairs to play together...and I sat down for five minutes...and I made my list. And I checked my texts. And I found that it really wasn't so appealing after all. Once it was put in its place for a morning, the phone didn't seem so magical. And I didn't feel so fragmented. I felt more whole. Even though it was just a morning. So it makes me wonder what a lifestyle of putting that iPhone in its place will be like. I hope I can find out. 

Sarah Howard

#parentingHOPE

C.S. Who?

It seems that part of being a modern Christian is loving C.S.Lewis.  I mean, who doesn’t?  A prolific writer, teacher, and scholar, not to mention brilliant thinker, C.S. Lewis shows that believers can roll with the intellectual best-of-them.  Most of his casual admirers, however, have no idea that at one point in his life, C.S. Lewis was a staunch atheist.  And not just an atheist because he hadn’t heard the gospel, but an adult who, having been raised in a religious home, grew to reject the faith of his upbringing.

As a father of three, I worry about my children rejecting the faith of their upbringing.  I have seen the statistics.  Just about half of millennials identify as Christian, even though 80% were raised in Christian homes.  There are lots of theories as to why they are leaving, but that just makes the prospect of my “prevent defense” that much more difficult.  I see and hear the same worry from other parents in a similar position.

Then I look at C.S. Lewis.  It was his skepticism that drew him away from the church as a young adult.  He rejected what he saw as faith without logic.  But it was his skepticism and intellect that ultimately brought him back.  In fact, he credited G.K. Chesterton’s book The Everlasting Man, which was a logical rebuttal to an H.G. Wells book (did nobody have first names back then?) with turing him from an atheist back to a theist.

G.K. Chesterton once said, “There are two ways of getting home; and one of them is to stay there. The other is to walk around the whole world till we come back to the same place.”

I don’t want my children to doubt what I have taught them, but I do I want them to be skeptical, to question what they are told by authority figures.  I want them to think for themselves, be creative, and consider alternative points of view.  I know that I cannot ultimately decide for them what path they will follow, but I can rest in the truth of what I have learned through my own doubt, skepticism, and discovery.

I can also look at the life of C.S. Lewis, who took the long road, around the world, and came back to where he started.  Keeping this in mind makes parenting a little less scary, and reminds me that God is in control of all paths, not just the one I’d choose.  And perhaps it also makes me want to call my children by their first initials.  

Jeff Hyson

I Needed to Bake

I needed to bake. I had volunteered cookies for the ladies retreat.

I flipped on the oven and my little countertop TV in the corner.  I would love to tell you I wanted the company of the History Channel or an equally educational PBS station as I worked in my kitchen, but I most likely was clicking up the dial to 137 or 157, the Hallmark channels. Yes, I do love the sappy, trite, and predictable.

Suddenly, there was Super Nanny. I think I had heard of her, but I had never watched her in action. I set my remote down and listened for a bit as I scooped the dough onto the cookie sheet. Nanny was coaching an attractive but haggard-looking couple on how to get their adorable little Gabriella to bed by 8 o’clock. I paused and turned my attention to the fray, curious.

I watched as this persistent daddy cradled his kicking and screaming 3- or 4-year-old’s face and said something like, “It’s time for bed. I am taking you back to your room and you must stay there. You can’t have Mommy. You must obey my voice.” As instructed, he would carry her back and firmly place her in her comfy bed, pull up her covers, and walk out. Within seconds, his hysterical daughter would reappear in the living room, throwing herself on the floor in wild protest. Sweaty but determined, the daddy scooped her up and retraced his steps to put her to bed again and again. What a tantrum!

I was amazed at this stubborn, sassy, little girl’s strength and tenacity.  I bet she carried on for a good half hour before she finally gave in to her exhaustion. I winced. It all seemed vaguely familiar--and way too personal. But it wasn’t until I was sitting at the retreat a few days later munching on my cookies, that it all came together—painfully.

I’m Gabriella!

I am that angry and impudent child. I have a loving Father who knows what’s best for me. He made me, after all. And He loves me. When I rebel or kick up a fuss about His plans, His purposes, or His designs for my life, He gently but resolutely holds my cheeks, looks into my eyes, and tells me to listen to His voice and do as He asks.  

Laura, our speaker at the retreat, reminded us that God alone is the Potter. I love that word picture! My creative, all-wise Maker is asking me to let Him refine me and remove the rocks, stubble, and junk that are deeply embedded in my heart, hidden even from me. He longs for me to allow Him to press, mold and shape me on His wheel, to let Him place me in the fire…it all involves my willing surrender to His hands. I must trust Him and give in to His loving desire to make me more like Jesus, a useful vessel He can use. I can heed His wooing or I can throw a royal fit. I can give myself over to His perfect plan, one I don’t know and can’t control, or I can fling myself on the ground and presumptuously take charge of my own life. Gabriella.

I can climb up into His process and stay there. Or I can be an insolent brat.

I choose the Potter.

I believe there’s no safer place to be than in His hands.

Eileen Hill

Patience & Joy In The Same Sentence

In the morning on April 13, God was speaking to me about how through His mighty power I can be empowered for "all endurance and patience with joy" (Col 1:11). This I find significant given that in our society patience and joy are not two things that you find in the same sentence or in the ordinary description of our human experience. 

Often patience is something you have to endure or put up with. But to accompany it with joy is a whole different reality. Likewise, when you find joy in a person, it is frequently associated with some realization or an expectation that has been fulfilled, not something you are still waiting for. The joy you may experience while enjoying that fabulous meal is not the same as the joy of waiting while the meal is being prepared while you starve.  Paul assures us that through God's mighty power two things are possible: "all endurance and patience with joy".

How are we doing in terms of enduring in all things?

How are we doing in experiencing joy while waiting patiently for something that seems so remote, distant or impossible?

These questions can bridge our current reality with the promise the Apostle Paul reminds us of here. The mighty power of God will make possible for us to endure all things and to wait patiently with some measure of joy. This promise is reinforced in the immediate context by pointing out that endurance and patience with joy are fertilized by our thanksgiving. Paul also adds that our heavenly Father has qualified us to inherit what belongs only to His saints. He has made possible for us to live differently because He has transferred us from the domain of darkness to the kingdom of his beloved Son Jesus. The point is that if God has already accomplished through Jesus the hardest part --our redemption-- how much more would He be committed to suppling what we need to live in a manner that is worthy of the Lord? (verse 10): fully pleasing Him, bearing fruit and increasing in our knowledge of God. Let us not underestimate the fact that enduring in all things and waiting patiently with joy are fruits that bring honor to our Father.

• May God help us believe His promises.
• May He supply what we need to endure in all things and experience a measure of joy while we wait patiently for His redemptive purposes.
• May we be more and more willing to surrender our own definitions of life and the ways we employ to secure such forms of life.

Diego Cuartas

#ChaoticClay #InTheHandsOf #PraiseWorthyPotter

I will confess, I'm not a follower of Twitter, I don't know the first thing about the hashtag revolution, nor am I on the latest social media escapades. I do post frequently on Facebook and love seeing pictures of people and what's going on in their lives, especially family across the country. I recently saw a post on Facebook that depicted this guy sitting with Jesus. The caption read something about following Twitter and Jesus saying 'No, I mean really following me!'

Well, I recently wrote a devotional for the upcoming Women's Retreat but thought it would be worth posting for everyone. So here it is! I hope it helps you wherever you are on your journey of life.

“Yet you Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.”  Isaiah 64:8

If you are reading the above verse, thank you for being willing to set time aside to meet with God! I want to affirm you have made a great choice, and I also want to help you walk through this activity we tend to call a devotional. Now, to be honest, this word devotional, or devo to some, brings up many reactions. Here are just a few:

1.     The feeling of confusion because it is a fancy word that not everyone in the world uses except Christians, or so it seems.

2.     The feeling of guilt because it reminds folks of what they tend to be weak in.

3.     The feeling of anger because they faithfully have their devotion each day, but it seems like God is not giving any answers.

4.     The feeling of comfort because they spent time with God and He, somehow, in His own way, met them where they were and He spent time with them, bringing comfort. Maybe not answers yet, but comfort.

Well, I want to invite you to learn some cool ways to spend time with God. Since God made you, knew your story before time began, knows every chapter of your story, as well as the end of your story. He seems like the One to spend time with in order to learn our next steps on this journey we call life.

There are many ways we can spend time with God, but here are two different ways I would like to introduce to you:

1. One way I love spending time with God is very similar to the way I spend time with my best friend.  I talk, she listens, and then she talks and I listen. I cannot do ALL the talking; otherwise I am not creating space for her to express herself. How much more important for me to talk to God and create space for Him to talk back to me because He is the Potter and I am His Clay. Now, here is where people get angry because they want Him to operate on their timeline. He doesn't. His timing is perfect, and He wants us to love spending time with Him without an agenda. We must learn that He loves us SO much and WILL speak AND move when it's time. TRUST is a biggie here. Many of us have learned we cannot trust because of getting hurt, but God is different. He will not hurt you at all. He is not even capable of hurting you because He is perfect, sinless, faithful and Holy. Hurt comes out of brokenness and sin, neither of which is a characteristic God has. That's Great News!
2. The next way is called The ACTS model: Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication.

            A.  Adoration- Say things out loud to God about how much you adore Him. Characteristics of God like Holy, Beautiful, Perfect - words of Adoration.

            C.  Confession- Talk to Him about the things you have done wrong. Ask Him to forgive you for those things. This means confessing your sins.

            T.  Thanksgiving - Say out loud, “Thank You God for (these specific things).” Learn to become a thankful person. 

            S. Supplication- Now, after all of the above, you ask God for the things you would like help with.

These are just two of the many ways we can spend time with God. I hope these will be helpful tools for you to practice as you move toward building a relationship with your Potter, God.

Lois Robinso

Choosing

Not too many years ago I saw in a Philadelphia paper an article about the ongoing effort to capture a swan which was swimming in the Wissahickon, not far from where I grew up. For quite a while it had eluded all efforts of the Park officials to net it. The reason they wanted so badly to reach it was that someone had shot an arrow at this bird, and the arrow was still protruding from both sides of its breast.

My brother and I knew every tree and every rock in our area of those woods and our part of the huge Fairmont Park; our bikes took us everywhere. We just knew which big streets we weren’t allowed to cross, and my brother was older, so he had a watch. Younger folks do get very weary of hearing about “the good old days,” but I’m almost 85, and I know. They were better.

It was perfectly safe to turn us loose in the great outdoors and tell us to be home by supper. We rode the Chestnut Hill Local into the city for art classes at 9 and 10 without adults. We wandered the woods behind our house; we made clover chains and festooned my bike. We all put on impromptu plays on the tennis courts; we were free. And we were safe.

And we knew right from wrong. We knew all the kids in our neighborhood, even the “bad” ones we weren’t allowed to play with, and I can tell you this with certainty: not even the very worst of the very bad boys, who stole candy from the drug store, would ever have shot an arrow through the breast of a swan.

In today’s relativity there is no absolute right and wrong. Men can put on a dress and join little girls in the ladies’ room. Women can marry women, and men, men. And most awful of all, we kill babies, millions of babies, because we want to have unfettered sex without consequences. And those of us who want to shrink back in horror are the hated ones, the bigoted ones, the evil ones. We are despised because we stand in the way of “progress.”

So what in the world can we do?

We can pray.

The thing is, God told us all this was going to happen. It will get worse and worse. And the worse it gets, the more clearly the world is forced to see the evil, and each person will have to choose a side. This has to be part of God’s plan of redemption. Christ died so that we could make a choice! Certainly He wants no one to make the choice that will separate him or her from God for all eternity, and his grace and forgiveness is open to all who come to him.

But everyone chooses, and only God knows when it will be time for Him to say,

“ENOUGH!”

-Norma Stockton

Counseling is Discipleship

Five years ago I met Nate Howard at a Living Faith Alliance Church Sunday worship service.  After a few weeks or so, we met for a cup of coffee to swap stories and share our lives and ministries.  I remember Nate's eyes widening with a smile when I said to him, "Nate, counseling is so much more than therapy and diagnosis.  In fact, I don't really know too much about psychology.  I just love people.  And I believe that counseling is a relationship of training.  Counseling IS discipleship.  It IS an extension of the Great Commission and a big part of disciple making.  Counseling IS discipleship."  Following an honest smile, Nate said to me, "I'm glad to hear you say that, Thor.  I agree.  Counseling IS discipleship.  And here at Living Faith Alliance Church, we are committed to good Christian counseling.  We need strong counselors."  We continued to have a discussion that centered on the one to one ministry of biblical Christian counseling and pastoral care, not just for hurting and struggling people, but also for the lost, for the one wanting to grow spiritually and in God's Word, and for believers in Christ who may need marital counseling. You see, Nate knew that counseling is a form of discipleship for the body of Christ believers.

During that initial encounter, something else stood out.  Besides an operating spiritual discernment, our stories became linked because we "shared in the fellowship of sufferings."  These shared stories weren't full time of emotional sensationalism and typical cultural transparency.  They weren't meant to "tickle ears" or spoken with the guile of maneuver.  Instead, two "called but broken shepherds" shared some skin of life and some of the pains of family and of ministry.  This showed me that Nate and the leadership of LFA understood in discernment what I call "the theology of suffering."  (By the way, beware of the Christian leader who has a poor biblical understanding of the theology of suffering.  It usually reveals weak doctrine in other theologies such as the theology of sin and the theology of sanctification.  It shows the cracks in the foundation of biblical thinking.  These 'false teachers' rely on emotional experiences and the testimony of a works-righteousness more than they do God's Holy Word, denying the Sovereign LORD).   LFA is not only committed to making disciples but also preaches and teaches the Bible with strong conviction and wisdom.  God's Word is given an authority here at LFA that I rarely find in other churches.  As the truth is spoken, something greater from His Spirit is passed around at LFA.  I have witnessed truth, pain, relationships, growth, marital reconciliation, divorce's dilemma, redemption, broken families, suffering children, salvation, enlightened moments of discernment, spiritual renewal, [reproduced disciples who, in turn, disciple of others], stories and testimonies, abuses healed, church discipline, transformed hearts, and well-stewarded words, etc. - a witness to the work of King Jesus as He gains rule over the hearts of men and women no matter what the circumstance or situation.

What maybe Diego calls healing and restoration, I would agree and also term it "resurrection."  This IS this Gospel that we share.  It's not just an event; it is your life.  Counseling, strong biblical Christian pastoral counseling is more than discipleship.  It IS the Gospel of imparting resurrection to others.  But know this:  the task of resurrection is only preceded by a cross-bearing that requires us to weepingly walk through seasons of sadness and hurt with an empathy that has born the same.  This is the Gospel, but forgive me for starting to preach.  I love this stuff!  It gets me up in the morning because the joy of the LORD has been and is my strength.  The LORD has thundered and hammered that anvil into my life and continues to do so.  And like you, I await with patience for a greater resurrection.  I think CS Lewis and AW Tozer both knew that men and women who had suffered as believers in kingdom service were formidable foes to the the enemy of our souls, the devil called Satan the accuser.  This abrasive work of God's Spirit was like sandpaper to the bleeding heart of the suffering saint - which resulted in a greater created masterpiece - a resurrected one.  A servant of Christ.  A cross-bearing, cross born saint.  Resurrected saints live on mission and in turn produce resurrected saints.

When Nate and I met at the intersection of "cross-bearing," I believe the LORD catapulted a friendship of trust and pastoral camaraderie.  Whether Pastor Nate or the other pastors or many of you entrust the counseling needs of others to me, I do not take this lightly.  It is a blessed privilege to care for and speak into others.  It IS a calling; it is an entrustment - but like the Gospel, it is an unmerited favor and not deserved.  I don't say this with a false humility.  I say it with grateful privilege and honor.  I knew when Nate said to me all those years ago, "Well, how soon can you get here?!" that counseling is a huge part of discipleship here at LFA.  What Nate was really saying (paraphrased & interpreted - not quoted) was this:

1. Counseling is discipleship, and LFA is committed to it
2. We are committed to counseling individuals, marriages, and families
3. Suffering uniquely qualifies some to love and to serve and to wisely counsel others with empathy and truth and discernment
4. We need you here and are glad to have you here

By the way, as a note to leaders who serve with and over volunteers, Nate never ceases to thank me for the role that I am blessed and called to play in counseling at LFA.  I'm sure many others can identify with #4 above.  It's such a real encouragement to receive gratitude and have someone say, "I'm glad you're here."  Sheep need to hear this, and so do shepherds.  And know this, counseling isn't reserved for the private ministry of the Word behind a closed door.  David Powlison of CCEF has always said that "all of life is counseling."  I think he's right.  As you ponder this article of words, here are some questions to consider:

1. Do I need counseling as a form of discipleship training?
2. Is the Spirit of the Lord calling me toward talking to a counselor at LFA?
3. What stops me from obeying that call?  Why will I not invest in it?
4. Has your story of suffering shaped you for a greater ministry role?
5. Have I thanked someone who has impacted me for Christ or loved me well?
6. Who do I need to share a meal or cup of coffee with?

--Thor Knutstad, Pastoral Counselor

In the Quiet

We have recently recovered from a stomach bug here in the Howard house this past week. My husband got it the worst, complete with fever, stomach cramps and the whole nine yards. He rarely gets sick, but when he does he usually muddles through and it is over it in like a day. This time he had to miss two days of work, soooo it was pretty bad. The week was a flurry of checking on my husband, corralling two girls who didn’t understand why they couldn’t play with dada even though he was home, multiple trips to the store for sick supplies and all of my normal daily activities, including lots of nursing the baby, cleaning and keeping my toddler occupied, all while trying to be extra clean and germ conscious.

By the end of each day I was exhausted, feeling stretched to my limit with multi-tasking. By the end of the week I was starting to feel a little frazzled and upset. I was tired. The baby was up at 4 and didn’t want to go back to sleep. I was worn out with my toddler’s tantrums because she wanted cheese right now. I was wondering how nice it must be that my husband gets to actually “take off” when sick. Last time, I was sick for two weeks and still had to carry on. Whoa is me, I thought. And so continued my venting to myself. Pathetic, I know.

Thursday night when the girls were in bed and my husband was asleep, I sat out in the living room for a little down time before bed. It was then in the quiet that it hit me. I hadn’t had any time alone with Jesus all week. I missed it. I sat for a while, and then I began to pray. I processed my week and prayed for my family and some friends that were on my mind and heart. I tried to read my bible, but honestly I was so tired it was hard to focus on the words. That was it. I talked and God listened, and then I was quiet and just sat in his presence.    

I have to tell you though, it was such a sweet time. My heart felt refreshed and afterward I noticed a few things:

   1. I didn’t feel condemned. There was grace for my crazy week.

   2. I actually missed time with God and not just in an, “Oh crap, I forgot something on my to-do list” kind of way.

   3. Out of all the things that I can do for my family, the greatest is tending to my heart. This one is huge for me! In the Gospel Primer it says, “Do does not equal be.” I am seriously considering framing this reminder in my house because so often I am quick to find my identity in what I can or can’t do rather than in who I am before God. My girls and my husband will be better served if I am more settled in my identity as a human “being” not “doing” as a result of allowing God to shape me rather than just doing more.

  4. I can’t continue to attempt to give to my family or others what I don’t have. My giving and pouring out has to be sustained by my time with Jesus or I will burn out and lose sight of what is important. If “you are what you eat” so to speak, then I want to spend as much time as I can learning from Jesus so that I can be like him and give out of the overflow of what he is giving me.

I didn’t have a huge amount of time and I was tired. There wasn’t anything flashy involved in this time, not even much journaling or reading, but still seeking out his perspective and his voice made all the difference. I am grateful that in the midst of my imperfection and process God still shows up and reveals things me. He is able to make big things happen out of small moments and fill a living room with his ministering presence even in the quiet. 

Sophia Howard

Our Balsa Wood Crosses

How expensive has your faith been to you?  We regularly speak of following Christ as a costly endeavor, in terms of time, choices, finances, or relationships.  But how many of us have made any real sacrifices to follow Jesus?  We can say we've "taken up our crosses," but often those crosses are made of balsa wood, having the appearance of heft, but, in reality, having not much to them.

Certainly there are those who give, and give greatly, for their faith.  They are the ones who give up comfort, safety, and financial stability to love other people sacrificially.  But I'm pretty sure they are the exception rather than the rule.  The American church is not too much into sacrifice.

One of the fears I've heard repeated time and time again throughout my life, is the idea of the wasted sacrifice.  As a child, I'd be warned about giving homeless people money - because they'd spend it on booze or drugs.  You should buy them a sandwich instead, which no one ever did.  So there was no need to give, if you suspected the gift would be wasted.

Is this how Jesus looked at sacrifice (putting aside the question of whether a few dollars out of my pocket counts as a "sacrifice")?  He knew when he gave his life for humanity, that most of humanity would waste his gift.  He knew that he would be rejected by the ones he was giving his life for, but he didn't decide just to buy them a never-appearing sandwich.  He offered the sacrifice, and let them decide what to do with it.

Jesus doesn't call me to give to the needy if I'm reasonably sure they'll use my gift how I want them to.  He calls me to love them and sacrifice for them as he did for me.  It's not my responsibility what they do with my gift.  If my gift is a sandwhich, I need to make sure I give it.  Fear of misuse is not a valid reason to reject the command to give.  We should give wisely*, but we should give well.  

American Christians are sitting on immense resources (ask Joel Osteen about it), but we like comfort, and we're pretty bad at sacrifice.  As we go into Easter, let's keep in mind that Jesus wasn't afraid of sacrifice, and for that I am eternally grateful.

*Giving wisely means giving in ways that will help, not hurt.  I would not give an addict a bunch of money, but maybe a place to live or some time in rehab.  The sacrifice, on my end might be the same, but it has to be given wisely.  There is nothing wrong with buying a guy a meal instead of giving him money, but if your inner struggle is between giving him a few dollars, and giving nothing for fear that he'll waste it, I think the Bible is pretty clear that we are to give.

Jeff Hyson

Mary's Favorite

Okay. I admit it. Growing up, I loved Sunday night church. Less formal. Relaxed. Sitting with friends instead of parents. And singing. Lots more singing.

In the church I attended with my family, that meant hymns. Pastor would lead a song service and, each week, the gathered faithful called out their favorites. Everybody grabbed a faded hymnal from the wooden rack attached to the pew in front of him or her and, as the organ music swelled, we would belt out our praises. The Brooklyn Tabernacle choir we weren’t, but, oh, how the folks in our little church would (and could) sing! What a precious memory.

But there is another memory I have of those evening services. In our little town, there was a ramshackle, dingy, long-term care facility, one that had somehow slipped off the radar of any respectable agency’s oversight. I hated when my dad made us go there to sing or pass out cookies to the neglected and forgotten residents. It was dark and creepy…and I choked on the rancid smells of stale urine and filth.

Each Sunday night, Mary would show up from that “home.”  I don’t to this day know how she got there, but she would march up the aisle and sit royally down on the left side, front row. She carried a carpetbag of sorts, and after she settled in, she would pull out a spray can of deodorant, lift up her arms, and “shower.”  Or eat a drippy sandwich. Or roll curlers in her hair. Or turn on her beat-up transistor radio to a rock station… which, back then, could have been the Beach Boys. Can you picture this? It was so cool! She fascinated me, to say the least. Every kid’s eyes were fixed on her. We did not want to miss anything she did. Every parent’s eyes were glaring at the kids, warning them to be polite and pay attention to the pastor. Seriously? Could anybody really ignore that front row entertainment?

Mary was toothless and old---old in an unkempt and uncaring way. Her unwashed hair was piled on top of her head and corralled by a droopy and holey hairnet. She squinted at the world through a thick pair of men’s horn-rimmed bifocals that made her smallish face appear a bit owl-like. She sported a colorful and mismatched wardrobe of hand-me-downs on her tiny and wrinkled person, but, best of all, she had the amazing ability to swallow her face. You will have to use your imagination here because I can’t possibly explain it, but ask any kid that grew up in that church with me, and they, after chuckling at the mention of it, will verify that she could. What an incredible talent! I still wonder how she did it.

Mary was restless and fidgety, seemingly preoccupied with anything but the evening service. But the minute Pastor asked for favorites, she was immediately alert and focused. Before anyone else could respond, Mary would be shouting boldly, “52!”   Ask any kid that grew up in that church again. He or she will still remember that page 52 of our well-worn maroon hymnal was “The Old Rugged Cross,” Mary’s favorite. We sang it with her and for her every Sunday night. How that wizened, dear face would light up, transformed by a deep gratitude to and love for her caring Savior and King! To this day, I can’t sing that beloved hymn without smiling to myself as I fondly remember Mary. And then I wipe away the tears...

Pastor Greg Laurie tells a true story about a well-to-do couple browsing in a jewelry store. After examining a variety of cross necklaces, the woman turned to the proprietor and smiled, “I like these but do you have any without this little man on them?”

That’s exactly what people in our culture today want: a cross with no Jesus. A cross with no offense. A cross that will simply accessorize an outfit or bring good luck. But two thousand years ago, in its original context, the cross was a horrific and bloody symbol.

The Romans employed crucifixion because it was designed to cause a slow, torturous, and humiliating death. Blood-spattered crosses lined the roads leading into Roman cities, serving as a warning to anyone daring or foolish enough to come against Roman rule.

If there were any other way, do you suppose that the Father would have allowed His Son to die on one of those vile crosses and suffer the excruciating pain that He did? If there had been ANY other way we could have been forgiven, surely God would have found it. If living a good moral life or tithing or going on a mission trip would get us a free pass into heaven, then Jesus never would have died for us. But He did. There was and is no other way.

He was “subbing” for you and me. He was satisfying the just demands of a holy God. He was taking God’s wrath for our sin. He was paying the price that God’s holiness requires so that we can be forgiven. OUR blood should have stained the ground that day, but Jesus hung as our WILLING substitute. At the Cross, Jesus purchased the salvation of the world. He purchased salvation for Mary. He purchased salvation for me.

Ever tempted to doubt God’s love for you? Even for a second? Why not take a very long, hard look at the Old Rugged Cross? Nails didn’t hold Jesus to that Cross. His love did.

Little, old Mary knew that. Do you?

Eileen Hill

Soul Connections

When we allow someone to struggle, we actually create less pressure and actually instill more real freedom into the heart. We release them from ideals and legalism, actually validating their humanness and releasing their spirit from deeper levels of bondage.

As you move with transcendent curiosity into the life of another person, you must remember that he or she is a terrible tragedy unfolding into brilliant hope. Why? Because there are never simple solutions to complex problems. The law is never the cure, but maybe the medicine of life is willingly entering the battle for the heart and soul of someone you love. It is then that we join God in his deeper work and the story unfolds into an aroused appetite for God. This hunger always comes when dreams shatter and the mystery of moving through life requires courage and the deepest faith.

Moving others toward divine love sometimes means that you will call them to cooperate with a process that they cannot control - where the outcome is uncertain and faith takes a deeper root than ever before - where they join God even when it doesn't seem to make any sense on the surface of things. If the formulas, legalism, and the rule of law abound, spiritual rhythm looks like compulsive and possessive love. A non possessive love is neither threatening, controlling, nor deceptively manipulative - it's that which draws us and keeps us and that for which we crave more. It's a love that joins the mystery of God's Sovereign Movement that releases our best heart and deepest soul. Praise Him.

Thor Knutstad

Help: What I Am Facing Is Too Big For Me!

So what do you do when you feel vulnerable?

What to do when you feel like your life is crumbling down right before your eyes?

When all you have left is a realization that you are “out of control” and that you can’t do anything in your power to change your current reality or the outcomes?

Perhaps it is a specific enemy that is constantly prowling at your door.

Or the prospect of something you thought of as a good dream that is moving farther and farther away?

What if what you are experiencing is a sense of loneliness? You feel unprotected.

Friend, pray, like the Israelite King David did to remind himself of who God really is in the presence of both difficult and fading realities. David began his prayer, in Psalm 31, with a phrase that was echoed by Jesus himself at the cross: “I entrust my spirit into your hand. Rescue me, Lord, for you are a faithful God.” The following statements are what he prayed after he poured out his fainting heart before God. Print this blog or read it in your own Bible and underline what you sense you need the most right now, at this moment!

But I am trusting you, O Lord,

    saying, “You are my God!”

My future is in your hands.

    Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly.

Let your favor shine on your servant.

    In your unfailing love, rescue me.

Don’t let me be disgraced, O Lord,

    for I call out to you for help.

Let the wicked be disgraced;

    let them lie silent in the grave.

Silence their lying lips—

    those proud and arrogant lips that accuse the godly.

How great is the goodness

    you have stored up for those who fear you.

You lavish it on those who come to you for protection,

    blessing them before the watching world.

You hide them in the shelter of your presence,

    safe from those who conspire against them.

You shelter them in your presence,

    far from accusing tongues.

Praise the Lord,

    for he has shown me the wonders of his unfailing love.

    He kept me safe when my city was under attack.

In panic I cried out,

    “I am cut off from the Lord!”

But you heard my cry for mercy

    and answered my call for help.

Love the Lord, all you godly ones!

    For the Lord protects those who are loyal to him,

    but he harshly punishes the arrogant.

So be strong and courageous,

    all you who put your hope in the Lord!

As you read and mediate on who God is, I hope you also hear David’s assurance that God sees your troubles and He cares about the anguish of your soul (verse 7). Then, in verse 8, King David looks backward to acknowledge how God has acted and intervened in the past. What David sees in doing so is that God has protected him and has created a spacious place for his feet.

May God come to your aide and set your feet in a “spacious” place! 

Diego Cuartas

Help: What I Am Facing Is Too Big For Me!

So what do you do when you feel vulnerable?

What to do when you feel like your life is crumbling down right before your eyes?

When all you have left is a realization that you are “out of control” and that you can’t do anything in your power to change your current reality or the outcomes?

Perhaps it is a specific enemy that is constantly prowling at your door.

Or the prospect of something you thought of as a good dream that is moving farther and farther away?

What if what you are experiencing is a sense of loneliness? You feel unprotected.

Friend, pray, like the Israelite King David did to remind himself of who God really is in the presence of both difficult and fading realities. David began his prayer, in Psalm 31, with a phrase that was echoed by Jesus himself at the cross: “I entrust my spirit into your hand. Rescue me, Lord, for you are a faithful God.” The following statements are what he prayed after he poured out his fainting heart before God. Print this blog or read it in your own Bible and underline what you sense you need the most right now, at this moment!

But I am trusting you, O Lord,

    saying, “You are my God!”

My future is in your hands.

    Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly.

Let your favor shine on your servant.

    In your unfailing love, rescue me.

Don’t let me be disgraced, O Lord,

    for I call out to you for help.

Let the wicked be disgraced;

    let them lie silent in the grave.

Silence their lying lips—

    those proud and arrogant lips that accuse the godly.

How great is the goodness

    you have stored up for those who fear you.

You lavish it on those who come to you for protection,

    blessing them before the watching world.

You hide them in the shelter of your presence,

    safe from those who conspire against them.

You shelter them in your presence,

    far from accusing tongues.

Praise the Lord,

    for he has shown me the wonders of his unfailing love.

    He kept me safe when my city was under attack.

In panic I cried out,

    “I am cut off from the Lord!”

But you heard my cry for mercy

    and answered my call for help.

Love the Lord, all you godly ones!

    For the Lord protects those who are loyal to him,

    but he harshly punishes the arrogant.

So be strong and courageous,

    all you who put your hope in the Lord!

As you read and mediate on who God is, I hope you also hear David’s assurance that God sees your troubles and He cares about the anguish of your soul (verse 7). Then, in verse 8, King David looks backward to acknowledge how God has acted and intervened in the past. What David sees in doing so is that God has protected him and has created a spacious place for his feet.

May God come to your aide and set your feet in a “spacious” place! 

Diego Cuartas

Faithful

This is all about the years when my husband hated me.

My mother and dad were not drinkers. Oh, they would occasionally have one when they had someone over to play cards, but that was it. When I grew up and tried it out I hated the taste, so that did it for me with hard liquor. When we got married we might have a drink when we went out (fruit-juicy for me) but never bothered at home. Champagne was tolerable.

But after my father-in-law died, things started being not so good with us. Rich really mourned his dad, and it seemed to get worse; nothing I did was right, and I heard about all my faults regularly, and it got pretty awful. And it went on and on. He was under a lot of pressure at work, and I really thought he was losing his mind.

One of our friends saw something I clearly was not able to see, and told me about Robert Johnson. We lived near Minneapolis then, and Johnson was an Episcopal priest who had literally fallen out of his pulpit drunk in his church in Edina, Minnesota! Anyway, after he had gone through rehab and everything he started a project. Across Lake Minnetonka from us was the town of Mound, and they had in Minnesota the highest divorce rate and the highest alcoholism rate in the state, and he was studying it; my friend suggested I go to him for counseling. So eventually, I did.

He was very kind, and asked questions, and listened to me for an hour and more. And then he asked me how much my husband drank. I was so surprised. I told him that we hardly drank at all, and in my mind I was terribly disappointed. I was thinking, they’re studying alcoholics so everybody has to be an alcoholic!

 But he persevered. He discovered that in our wing of the house (no children allowed!) we had a study, and Rich spent most of his time in there at his desk. And that when I joined him in the evening he usually now was so unpleasant that I soon left. And he assured me that Rich was drinking, and likely had a bottle hidden there somewhere; that I was to find it, mark the level of liquid in it, and the next night look at it again, and then call him and tell him how much was missing.

So home I went, very disappointed and feeling very disloyal about my assignment. And the next day, expecting no luck, I searched for a bottle. You know what happened. There, in a file cabinet, I found it. Blown away would be an understatement!  And even worse, the next day it was obviously a new bottle, because the level was about an eighth of an inch higher than the day before! He was drinking a fifth a day!

New assignment. Johnson explained to me an approach with which he was being pretty successful: intervention. It terrified me. In complete secrecy I was to enlist several men from different areas of my husband’s life, and explain the situation to them and have them all appear at my house together and wake my husband and tell him they were here, and why.

It was the hardest thing I have ever done. But I was so glad that it was something that could be FIXED, so I did it.

My brother flew in from Philadelphia. The company psychologist came in from town … his best friend and tennis partner … a doc who was his fishing buddy … a couple more. And he was furious. He said all the things you’d expect; no he wasn’t, this was ridiculous, what in God’s name was I thinking, etc. etc. But finally my brother said the best thing; he said, “Rich, you may not be an alcoholic, but I have too much respect for your intelligence to believe that you won’t try to find out.”

And that did it. The next morning he went in to work to tell them what he was doing, and took himself north to Hazelton, a famous rehab facility, and stayed a month, and never took another drink.  And started to hate me for involving his office.

But this is the worst thing. Alcohol really damages your brain. It changes things in you. And for at least two whole years you are just as nasty, just as mean as you were when you were drinking. It takes that long for your brain to heal. Many, many partners of non-drinking alcoholics find that period of time just too hard. They are already wearied by everything that went before, and they thought things would be better. They leave. And who can blame them.

But guys, this is the REAL wonder! All this happened before we found the real Jesus. And yet it is so obvious that God choreographed the whole thing!!! He led me to just the right Christian counselor; He gave me courage when I had none; He kept me from leaving; He gave me understanding; He was my loving Father when I desperately needed one.

God gave us a happy ending. We had both grown up pretty much the same, he in the Methodist church in Fort Worth and me in the Baptist church in Philadelphia, where we both considered ourselves Christians but really weren’t. And after we found Jesus, God used Rich greatly. AA was very meaningful to him, and he wanted to find a Christian AA, so to speak. So we went to Rick Warren’s church in California and brought Celebrate Recovery back to our church in Manahawkin, and he used his own story to minister to so many men there. When he died, man after man spoke at his memorial service about what Rich had meant to him.

And of course he had long since told me that I had saved his life.

This is a long story, and it covered a long time in my life. But God was so faithful. And I learned to see and depend upon God’s never-failing love and guidance, assured that He had the answers when I had none. We sometimes failed Him, but He never failed us, never. I surely pray that a time like this is never yours, but there are many, many circumstances that I never knew, and our God, our Creator, who designed our minds and knows our lives, is more than big enough for all of them. It is so true that we learn and grow in the valleys, and the most important things we learn are about God. He is with us. He is FOR us. He is able. He loves us beyond our understanding. And when He delivers us through our valleys, He enables us to love others with HIS love, and comfort them with HIS comfort, which is what Celebrate Recovery is all about. Remember that. Remember that you are never alone.

God’s faithful love never, never fails. Never.

Norma Stockton

Like Them or Like Him?

It seems to me these days that Christians are just too caught up in culture.  

We look and dress - like them.  

We speak - like them.  

We relate - like them.  

We work - like them.  

We use resources - like them.  

We worship the clock - like them.  

We buy and invest - like them.  

We run about aimlessly - like them.  

We exhaust ourselves for nothing - like them.  

We love the wrong things - like them.  

We fear everything - like them.  

We forget we are but flesh - like them.  

We focus on self - like them.  

We crave likes and opinions and comments - like them.  

We live for approval and approve of many sins - like them.  

We don't distinguish between good and evil - like them.  

We ignore the biblical Scriptures, God's useful Word - like them.  

We forget or ignore the Gospel, Good News of hope - like them.  

We refuse to risk for the greater err of caution - like them.  

We grumble and gossip - like them.   

We want our ears tickled - like them.  

We want more in discontent - like them.  

We live deluded and in delusions - like them.  

We live in feelings and wrongly define love - like them.  

We live imperfect lives while demanding perfection.  

We reject real authority - like them.  

We challenge the attribute of God’s Sovereignty and elevate human freedom - like them.  

We demand that things make sense and leave no room for faith - like them.  

We demonize and worship sexuality - like them.  

We ignore the reality of evil and the devil, who is called Satan the Accuser - like them.  

We don't make first things first and secondary things second - like them.  

We pray like we are talking to the restaurant server who will hear us and bring us what's on the menu - like them.  

We refuse wise counsel and forsake godly discernment - like them.  

We create indebtedness with others instead of forgiving many wrongs - like them.  

We are ruled by technology, communications, and QQF (Quality Quantity Faster) - like them.  

We crave deeper friendships, but we don't know how to be a friend - like them.  

We aim for nothing and hit targets we never intended to - like them.  

We want to be known and noticed and seen - like them.  

We want safety and security with freedom - like them.  

We want affirmation and encouragement and "nicely spoken sensitive things" prophesied to us - like them.  

We want God to bless us, but we aren't positioned for blessing - like them.  

We scurry in the stress of daily living and miss real Sabbath rest - like them.  

We want things here on earth to work the way they should, but we forget the future hope of heaven - like them.  

We lead like the world does while ignoring godly leadership models - like them.  

We manipulate circumstances and people and yet say we trust God - like them.  

We exact excessive interest (usury) and tax burdens that make people slaves to things they should not be - like them.  

We tolerate things we should not - like them.  

We trust naively and yet forsake real trust - like them.  

We build things on sand, not on Rock - like them.  

We want pleasures and food and experiences that drive us away from a sad burdened life and misdefine real joy - like them.  

We dishonor our parents - like them.  

We make decisions without real God consideration - like them.  

We believe things that have no real basis of authority - like them.  

We like winning now and miss the point of 'losing now' for greater gain - like them.  

We make idols and images of things that just ought not be, missing the heart of many matters - like them.  

We won't speak the name of Christ Jesus - like them.  We refuse to reject false religions - like them.

We want peace at any cost, and the price to pay is a deeper, hotter hell - like them.  

We act surprised that the enemy is in our camp when our walls were not shored up - like them.  

We reject missions impossible because the LORD isn't built into the impossible equation - like them.  

We forget what God has called us to and trade it for a lesser, unbiblical vision - like them.  

We lower shields of faith and expect flaming missiles not to hit vitals - like them.  

We refuse to deal with sin, and that little yeast works though the whole dough - like them.  

We walk in pride and forget that the LORD is able to humble any man - like them.  

We refuse hope in patient endurance, and demand that today be reconciled without seeing eternal life - like them.  

We ignore the very Word(s) of the Living God and wonder why it doesn't seem like He has much else to say - like them.  

Be not like them brothers and sisters.  For you are not like them.  

This is not a treatise on rules or legalism.  It's simply a reminder of what we look like - to them.  Oh that we would reflect the Savior and emanate His Life, His Love, and His Way.  And that others ("them") would join with us as followers of Christ. And oh that we would reflect His image to a dying world void of resurrection and that we would not be ashamed of Him, our Jesus.  For when we are distinctly but imperfectly sanctified, the world takes notice.  They see first things, real vertical trust, and the Gospel.  What do they hear?  What do they see on display?  Be (and become more) like Him.  It's the Gospel on display.  And it's the only way.

-Thor Knutstad

When Somebody Grabs My Toy

Something that happens with our kids A LOT is that one of them has a special thing in their hands, and another kid grabs it away.

Pretty typical kids-stuff, right? In our house it definitely is.

Because this happens ALL. THE. TIME. we've taught our children a 'script' of sorts for what we want them to do when someone grabs a toy out of their hands.

We teach them to:

1. Use their words. Ask for what they want. Say, "I was playing with that toy. Can I have it back, please?"
2. If the words don't work, find a Big Person and ask them for help. Say, "Mommy, I had this toy and Sissy took it away from me. Can you come help me, please?"

I love teaching my children this script because I think it is very helpful for when they grow up to be adults, as well. 

I have a problem with using my own words: it's hard for me to ask for what I want, to say my desires. It's hard for me to tell someone when I'm upset at something they've done. It's a little bit vulnerable to ask for what we want; it's a little bit vulnerable to honestly admit that we're upset. But when we just use our words to say what we feel and desire, it's so helpful and healthy.

Sometimes kids want to use non-words to deal with the situation. They might scream, or cry, or whine, or grab a toy back. It's like they're trying to 'fix' the situation by taking matters into their own hands in inappropriate ways. Adults do that too. They pitch a fit, they complain, they do something passive-aggressive, they manipulate. I want my children to learn to simply state what they want and feel without trying to 'fix' the situation by taking matters into their own hands in an inappropriate way.

And lastly, I love teaching my kids that when their words fail, they can run to a Big Person for help. Because that's what they'll need to do as adults: run to the ultimate Big Person when things are just not working out. They'll need to run to God. I want them to use healthy methods to solve problems, but I want them to know that when it's messy, when things just don't work out easily, that God is right there, ready to help. And I want them to know, because of their interactions with me, that His help is real, available, safe, and good. Because they've had their toy grabbed. Over and over and over again.

Sarah Howard

Where do you keep your ketchup?

            Jeff Hyson

I recently moved into a new office, complete with tiled floor, bare windows, bare walls, and hard furnishings.  Until I get a chance to "soften it up" with window shades and maybe an area rug, along with all of the equipment to do my job, the room is pretty stark.  The most annoying feature of the room is the crisp echo of any sounds, especially the sound of my fingers typing away on my keyboard.  It is very much an echo chamber.  Sounds stay inside and bounce around, while outside noises stay dull and muffled.  For my sanity, sometimes I need to get out of the echo chamber.

In our lives, we are often stuck in the echo chamber.  We have an opinion, a viewpoint, a way of doing things that we hold tightly to, and the people around us, the content we follow on Facebook, the information we surround ourselves with, echoes what we already think.  This constant reinforcement, or echo, of our already held opinions serves to strengthen them, while diminishing opposing voices.  While it might keep us comfortable, there are some major concerns with staying within our own echo chamber.

First, your echo chamber reinforces the belief that everyone feels the same way about an issue that you do.  I happen to not like a certain politician/billionaire/businessman/reality TV star very much, and everyone I tend to surround myself with, both on social media and in real life, feels the same.  The news articles that show up on my Twitter and Facebook feeds are decidedly anti-this-guy.  But as his popularity skyrockets, I've been left wondering how he can be so popular if nobody likes him?!?  Obviously, my echo chamber had reinforced my own opinions, with little ability to see beyond its barriers.  I'm not saying alternative voices would change my opinion, but they might help be see the political landscape more accurately.

Here's another example.  Where do you keep your ketchup?  If you are like most Americans, you keep it in the refrigerator.  That's the "correct" place to keep it.  However, if you are from the South, or most of Europe, you keep it in the cupboard or pantry.  Restaurants don't keep it in the refrigerator either.  Why does it matter?  Our placement of ketchup actually determines how we think about ketchup.  For fridge people, when you run out of ketchup, what do think of as a substitute?  Mayo or mustard might come to mind.  For pantry people, malt vinegar or spices might be the go-to.  Being stuck in one constantly-reinforced mindset limits our ability to see other points of view.  When we believe our opinions are the only valid opinions, we fail to see value in other perspectives.

I have been making an effort to escape my echo chamber, and I don't mean my new office.  If I want to be able to see and think about things from different angles, I cannot simply live in a world where every opinion I encounter reinforces my own.  Jesus wasn't a middle-class white American living in New Jersey.  He was a Jewish carpenter's son living in the Middle-East.  I would be willing to bet that he didn't keep his ketchup in the fridge. 

Jeff Hyson

START AFRESH!

Start Afresh!

If you have been following our blogs, you know the value of reading the personal story line that is often found in most of the blogs. As one of the pastors at our church community, I appreciate the efforts and thoughtfulness each blog contributor has brought to the table on a regular basis. It is our intention to continue fostering this kind of written interaction that encourages and illustrates so often the life according to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This life is not tidy, predictable, safe or painless. But it is a life that when looked on through certain lenses, say for instance the persons and promises of the Gospel, make life a hopeful journey, a journey that is worth living by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). 

So we are re-launching the two existing blogs (The Every Day Gospel and the Counseling one) by merging the two. The blogs will be musings of people just like you, who invite you into their personal stories, share what they learn from life experiences and reflect on human, spiritual and social issues, all seen through the lens of the Gospel. The aim of this blog is to encourage you to discover, follow & reveal Jesus.

I invite you to journey, on a weekly basis, with our blog contributors and allow this written venue to encourage your journey of faith! And from time to time, let us know if something has encouraged your life.

Sincerely,

Pastor Diego Cuartas

Facing Our Failures

It is not unusual to being a New Year making assessments of what we've done or who we are. The result can often be unbalanced--lacking the positive things--or purely negative. When this happens our conclusions often lead us to places where our mistakes assures us that we are failures. I want to introduce this week a blog from Ed Welch that may help us "deconstruct" failure.  Click here  to read the blog. May God give us grace to see ourselves correctly!