Counseling is Discipleship

Five years ago I met Nate Howard at a Living Faith Alliance Church Sunday worship service.  After a few weeks or so, we met for a cup of coffee to swap stories and share our lives and ministries.  I remember Nate's eyes widening with a smile when I said to him, "Nate, counseling is so much more than therapy and diagnosis.  In fact, I don't really know too much about psychology.  I just love people.  And I believe that counseling is a relationship of training.  Counseling IS discipleship.  It IS an extension of the Great Commission and a big part of disciple making.  Counseling IS discipleship."  Following an honest smile, Nate said to me, "I'm glad to hear you say that, Thor.  I agree.  Counseling IS discipleship.  And here at Living Faith Alliance Church, we are committed to good Christian counseling.  We need strong counselors."  We continued to have a discussion that centered on the one to one ministry of biblical Christian counseling and pastoral care, not just for hurting and struggling people, but also for the lost, for the one wanting to grow spiritually and in God's Word, and for believers in Christ who may need marital counseling. You see, Nate knew that counseling is a form of discipleship for the body of Christ believers.

During that initial encounter, something else stood out.  Besides an operating spiritual discernment, our stories became linked because we "shared in the fellowship of sufferings."  These shared stories weren't full time of emotional sensationalism and typical cultural transparency.  They weren't meant to "tickle ears" or spoken with the guile of maneuver.  Instead, two "called but broken shepherds" shared some skin of life and some of the pains of family and of ministry.  This showed me that Nate and the leadership of LFA understood in discernment what I call "the theology of suffering."  (By the way, beware of the Christian leader who has a poor biblical understanding of the theology of suffering.  It usually reveals weak doctrine in other theologies such as the theology of sin and the theology of sanctification.  It shows the cracks in the foundation of biblical thinking.  These 'false teachers' rely on emotional experiences and the testimony of a works-righteousness more than they do God's Holy Word, denying the Sovereign LORD).   LFA is not only committed to making disciples but also preaches and teaches the Bible with strong conviction and wisdom.  God's Word is given an authority here at LFA that I rarely find in other churches.  As the truth is spoken, something greater from His Spirit is passed around at LFA.  I have witnessed truth, pain, relationships, growth, marital reconciliation, divorce's dilemma, redemption, broken families, suffering children, salvation, enlightened moments of discernment, spiritual renewal, [reproduced disciples who, in turn, disciple of others], stories and testimonies, abuses healed, church discipline, transformed hearts, and well-stewarded words, etc. - a witness to the work of King Jesus as He gains rule over the hearts of men and women no matter what the circumstance or situation.

What maybe Diego calls healing and restoration, I would agree and also term it "resurrection."  This IS this Gospel that we share.  It's not just an event; it is your life.  Counseling, strong biblical Christian pastoral counseling is more than discipleship.  It IS the Gospel of imparting resurrection to others.  But know this:  the task of resurrection is only preceded by a cross-bearing that requires us to weepingly walk through seasons of sadness and hurt with an empathy that has born the same.  This is the Gospel, but forgive me for starting to preach.  I love this stuff!  It gets me up in the morning because the joy of the LORD has been and is my strength.  The LORD has thundered and hammered that anvil into my life and continues to do so.  And like you, I await with patience for a greater resurrection.  I think CS Lewis and AW Tozer both knew that men and women who had suffered as believers in kingdom service were formidable foes to the the enemy of our souls, the devil called Satan the accuser.  This abrasive work of God's Spirit was like sandpaper to the bleeding heart of the suffering saint - which resulted in a greater created masterpiece - a resurrected one.  A servant of Christ.  A cross-bearing, cross born saint.  Resurrected saints live on mission and in turn produce resurrected saints.

When Nate and I met at the intersection of "cross-bearing," I believe the LORD catapulted a friendship of trust and pastoral camaraderie.  Whether Pastor Nate or the other pastors or many of you entrust the counseling needs of others to me, I do not take this lightly.  It is a blessed privilege to care for and speak into others.  It IS a calling; it is an entrustment - but like the Gospel, it is an unmerited favor and not deserved.  I don't say this with a false humility.  I say it with grateful privilege and honor.  I knew when Nate said to me all those years ago, "Well, how soon can you get here?!" that counseling is a huge part of discipleship here at LFA.  What Nate was really saying (paraphrased & interpreted - not quoted) was this:

1. Counseling is discipleship, and LFA is committed to it
2. We are committed to counseling individuals, marriages, and families
3. Suffering uniquely qualifies some to love and to serve and to wisely counsel others with empathy and truth and discernment
4. We need you here and are glad to have you here

By the way, as a note to leaders who serve with and over volunteers, Nate never ceases to thank me for the role that I am blessed and called to play in counseling at LFA.  I'm sure many others can identify with #4 above.  It's such a real encouragement to receive gratitude and have someone say, "I'm glad you're here."  Sheep need to hear this, and so do shepherds.  And know this, counseling isn't reserved for the private ministry of the Word behind a closed door.  David Powlison of CCEF has always said that "all of life is counseling."  I think he's right.  As you ponder this article of words, here are some questions to consider:

1. Do I need counseling as a form of discipleship training?
2. Is the Spirit of the Lord calling me toward talking to a counselor at LFA?
3. What stops me from obeying that call?  Why will I not invest in it?
4. Has your story of suffering shaped you for a greater ministry role?
5. Have I thanked someone who has impacted me for Christ or loved me well?
6. Who do I need to share a meal or cup of coffee with?

--Thor Knutstad, Pastoral Counselor

In the Quiet

We have recently recovered from a stomach bug here in the Howard house this past week. My husband got it the worst, complete with fever, stomach cramps and the whole nine yards. He rarely gets sick, but when he does he usually muddles through and it is over it in like a day. This time he had to miss two days of work, soooo it was pretty bad. The week was a flurry of checking on my husband, corralling two girls who didn’t understand why they couldn’t play with dada even though he was home, multiple trips to the store for sick supplies and all of my normal daily activities, including lots of nursing the baby, cleaning and keeping my toddler occupied, all while trying to be extra clean and germ conscious.

By the end of each day I was exhausted, feeling stretched to my limit with multi-tasking. By the end of the week I was starting to feel a little frazzled and upset. I was tired. The baby was up at 4 and didn’t want to go back to sleep. I was worn out with my toddler’s tantrums because she wanted cheese right now. I was wondering how nice it must be that my husband gets to actually “take off” when sick. Last time, I was sick for two weeks and still had to carry on. Whoa is me, I thought. And so continued my venting to myself. Pathetic, I know.

Thursday night when the girls were in bed and my husband was asleep, I sat out in the living room for a little down time before bed. It was then in the quiet that it hit me. I hadn’t had any time alone with Jesus all week. I missed it. I sat for a while, and then I began to pray. I processed my week and prayed for my family and some friends that were on my mind and heart. I tried to read my bible, but honestly I was so tired it was hard to focus on the words. That was it. I talked and God listened, and then I was quiet and just sat in his presence.    

I have to tell you though, it was such a sweet time. My heart felt refreshed and afterward I noticed a few things:

   1. I didn’t feel condemned. There was grace for my crazy week.

   2. I actually missed time with God and not just in an, “Oh crap, I forgot something on my to-do list” kind of way.

   3. Out of all the things that I can do for my family, the greatest is tending to my heart. This one is huge for me! In the Gospel Primer it says, “Do does not equal be.” I am seriously considering framing this reminder in my house because so often I am quick to find my identity in what I can or can’t do rather than in who I am before God. My girls and my husband will be better served if I am more settled in my identity as a human “being” not “doing” as a result of allowing God to shape me rather than just doing more.

  4. I can’t continue to attempt to give to my family or others what I don’t have. My giving and pouring out has to be sustained by my time with Jesus or I will burn out and lose sight of what is important. If “you are what you eat” so to speak, then I want to spend as much time as I can learning from Jesus so that I can be like him and give out of the overflow of what he is giving me.

I didn’t have a huge amount of time and I was tired. There wasn’t anything flashy involved in this time, not even much journaling or reading, but still seeking out his perspective and his voice made all the difference. I am grateful that in the midst of my imperfection and process God still shows up and reveals things me. He is able to make big things happen out of small moments and fill a living room with his ministering presence even in the quiet. 

Sophia Howard

Our Balsa Wood Crosses

How expensive has your faith been to you?  We regularly speak of following Christ as a costly endeavor, in terms of time, choices, finances, or relationships.  But how many of us have made any real sacrifices to follow Jesus?  We can say we've "taken up our crosses," but often those crosses are made of balsa wood, having the appearance of heft, but, in reality, having not much to them.

Certainly there are those who give, and give greatly, for their faith.  They are the ones who give up comfort, safety, and financial stability to love other people sacrificially.  But I'm pretty sure they are the exception rather than the rule.  The American church is not too much into sacrifice.

One of the fears I've heard repeated time and time again throughout my life, is the idea of the wasted sacrifice.  As a child, I'd be warned about giving homeless people money - because they'd spend it on booze or drugs.  You should buy them a sandwich instead, which no one ever did.  So there was no need to give, if you suspected the gift would be wasted.

Is this how Jesus looked at sacrifice (putting aside the question of whether a few dollars out of my pocket counts as a "sacrifice")?  He knew when he gave his life for humanity, that most of humanity would waste his gift.  He knew that he would be rejected by the ones he was giving his life for, but he didn't decide just to buy them a never-appearing sandwich.  He offered the sacrifice, and let them decide what to do with it.

Jesus doesn't call me to give to the needy if I'm reasonably sure they'll use my gift how I want them to.  He calls me to love them and sacrifice for them as he did for me.  It's not my responsibility what they do with my gift.  If my gift is a sandwhich, I need to make sure I give it.  Fear of misuse is not a valid reason to reject the command to give.  We should give wisely*, but we should give well.  

American Christians are sitting on immense resources (ask Joel Osteen about it), but we like comfort, and we're pretty bad at sacrifice.  As we go into Easter, let's keep in mind that Jesus wasn't afraid of sacrifice, and for that I am eternally grateful.

*Giving wisely means giving in ways that will help, not hurt.  I would not give an addict a bunch of money, but maybe a place to live or some time in rehab.  The sacrifice, on my end might be the same, but it has to be given wisely.  There is nothing wrong with buying a guy a meal instead of giving him money, but if your inner struggle is between giving him a few dollars, and giving nothing for fear that he'll waste it, I think the Bible is pretty clear that we are to give.

Jeff Hyson

Mary's Favorite

Okay. I admit it. Growing up, I loved Sunday night church. Less formal. Relaxed. Sitting with friends instead of parents. And singing. Lots more singing.

In the church I attended with my family, that meant hymns. Pastor would lead a song service and, each week, the gathered faithful called out their favorites. Everybody grabbed a faded hymnal from the wooden rack attached to the pew in front of him or her and, as the organ music swelled, we would belt out our praises. The Brooklyn Tabernacle choir we weren’t, but, oh, how the folks in our little church would (and could) sing! What a precious memory.

But there is another memory I have of those evening services. In our little town, there was a ramshackle, dingy, long-term care facility, one that had somehow slipped off the radar of any respectable agency’s oversight. I hated when my dad made us go there to sing or pass out cookies to the neglected and forgotten residents. It was dark and creepy…and I choked on the rancid smells of stale urine and filth.

Each Sunday night, Mary would show up from that “home.”  I don’t to this day know how she got there, but she would march up the aisle and sit royally down on the left side, front row. She carried a carpetbag of sorts, and after she settled in, she would pull out a spray can of deodorant, lift up her arms, and “shower.”  Or eat a drippy sandwich. Or roll curlers in her hair. Or turn on her beat-up transistor radio to a rock station… which, back then, could have been the Beach Boys. Can you picture this? It was so cool! She fascinated me, to say the least. Every kid’s eyes were fixed on her. We did not want to miss anything she did. Every parent’s eyes were glaring at the kids, warning them to be polite and pay attention to the pastor. Seriously? Could anybody really ignore that front row entertainment?

Mary was toothless and old---old in an unkempt and uncaring way. Her unwashed hair was piled on top of her head and corralled by a droopy and holey hairnet. She squinted at the world through a thick pair of men’s horn-rimmed bifocals that made her smallish face appear a bit owl-like. She sported a colorful and mismatched wardrobe of hand-me-downs on her tiny and wrinkled person, but, best of all, she had the amazing ability to swallow her face. You will have to use your imagination here because I can’t possibly explain it, but ask any kid that grew up in that church with me, and they, after chuckling at the mention of it, will verify that she could. What an incredible talent! I still wonder how she did it.

Mary was restless and fidgety, seemingly preoccupied with anything but the evening service. But the minute Pastor asked for favorites, she was immediately alert and focused. Before anyone else could respond, Mary would be shouting boldly, “52!”   Ask any kid that grew up in that church again. He or she will still remember that page 52 of our well-worn maroon hymnal was “The Old Rugged Cross,” Mary’s favorite. We sang it with her and for her every Sunday night. How that wizened, dear face would light up, transformed by a deep gratitude to and love for her caring Savior and King! To this day, I can’t sing that beloved hymn without smiling to myself as I fondly remember Mary. And then I wipe away the tears...

Pastor Greg Laurie tells a true story about a well-to-do couple browsing in a jewelry store. After examining a variety of cross necklaces, the woman turned to the proprietor and smiled, “I like these but do you have any without this little man on them?”

That’s exactly what people in our culture today want: a cross with no Jesus. A cross with no offense. A cross that will simply accessorize an outfit or bring good luck. But two thousand years ago, in its original context, the cross was a horrific and bloody symbol.

The Romans employed crucifixion because it was designed to cause a slow, torturous, and humiliating death. Blood-spattered crosses lined the roads leading into Roman cities, serving as a warning to anyone daring or foolish enough to come against Roman rule.

If there were any other way, do you suppose that the Father would have allowed His Son to die on one of those vile crosses and suffer the excruciating pain that He did? If there had been ANY other way we could have been forgiven, surely God would have found it. If living a good moral life or tithing or going on a mission trip would get us a free pass into heaven, then Jesus never would have died for us. But He did. There was and is no other way.

He was “subbing” for you and me. He was satisfying the just demands of a holy God. He was taking God’s wrath for our sin. He was paying the price that God’s holiness requires so that we can be forgiven. OUR blood should have stained the ground that day, but Jesus hung as our WILLING substitute. At the Cross, Jesus purchased the salvation of the world. He purchased salvation for Mary. He purchased salvation for me.

Ever tempted to doubt God’s love for you? Even for a second? Why not take a very long, hard look at the Old Rugged Cross? Nails didn’t hold Jesus to that Cross. His love did.

Little, old Mary knew that. Do you?

Eileen Hill

Soul Connections

When we allow someone to struggle, we actually create less pressure and actually instill more real freedom into the heart. We release them from ideals and legalism, actually validating their humanness and releasing their spirit from deeper levels of bondage.

As you move with transcendent curiosity into the life of another person, you must remember that he or she is a terrible tragedy unfolding into brilliant hope. Why? Because there are never simple solutions to complex problems. The law is never the cure, but maybe the medicine of life is willingly entering the battle for the heart and soul of someone you love. It is then that we join God in his deeper work and the story unfolds into an aroused appetite for God. This hunger always comes when dreams shatter and the mystery of moving through life requires courage and the deepest faith.

Moving others toward divine love sometimes means that you will call them to cooperate with a process that they cannot control - where the outcome is uncertain and faith takes a deeper root than ever before - where they join God even when it doesn't seem to make any sense on the surface of things. If the formulas, legalism, and the rule of law abound, spiritual rhythm looks like compulsive and possessive love. A non possessive love is neither threatening, controlling, nor deceptively manipulative - it's that which draws us and keeps us and that for which we crave more. It's a love that joins the mystery of God's Sovereign Movement that releases our best heart and deepest soul. Praise Him.

Thor Knutstad

Help: What I Am Facing Is Too Big For Me!

So what do you do when you feel vulnerable?

What to do when you feel like your life is crumbling down right before your eyes?

When all you have left is a realization that you are “out of control” and that you can’t do anything in your power to change your current reality or the outcomes?

Perhaps it is a specific enemy that is constantly prowling at your door.

Or the prospect of something you thought of as a good dream that is moving farther and farther away?

What if what you are experiencing is a sense of loneliness? You feel unprotected.

Friend, pray, like the Israelite King David did to remind himself of who God really is in the presence of both difficult and fading realities. David began his prayer, in Psalm 31, with a phrase that was echoed by Jesus himself at the cross: “I entrust my spirit into your hand. Rescue me, Lord, for you are a faithful God.” The following statements are what he prayed after he poured out his fainting heart before God. Print this blog or read it in your own Bible and underline what you sense you need the most right now, at this moment!

But I am trusting you, O Lord,

    saying, “You are my God!”

My future is in your hands.

    Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly.

Let your favor shine on your servant.

    In your unfailing love, rescue me.

Don’t let me be disgraced, O Lord,

    for I call out to you for help.

Let the wicked be disgraced;

    let them lie silent in the grave.

Silence their lying lips—

    those proud and arrogant lips that accuse the godly.

How great is the goodness

    you have stored up for those who fear you.

You lavish it on those who come to you for protection,

    blessing them before the watching world.

You hide them in the shelter of your presence,

    safe from those who conspire against them.

You shelter them in your presence,

    far from accusing tongues.

Praise the Lord,

    for he has shown me the wonders of his unfailing love.

    He kept me safe when my city was under attack.

In panic I cried out,

    “I am cut off from the Lord!”

But you heard my cry for mercy

    and answered my call for help.

Love the Lord, all you godly ones!

    For the Lord protects those who are loyal to him,

    but he harshly punishes the arrogant.

So be strong and courageous,

    all you who put your hope in the Lord!

As you read and mediate on who God is, I hope you also hear David’s assurance that God sees your troubles and He cares about the anguish of your soul (verse 7). Then, in verse 8, King David looks backward to acknowledge how God has acted and intervened in the past. What David sees in doing so is that God has protected him and has created a spacious place for his feet.

May God come to your aide and set your feet in a “spacious” place! 

Diego Cuartas

Help: What I Am Facing Is Too Big For Me!

So what do you do when you feel vulnerable?

What to do when you feel like your life is crumbling down right before your eyes?

When all you have left is a realization that you are “out of control” and that you can’t do anything in your power to change your current reality or the outcomes?

Perhaps it is a specific enemy that is constantly prowling at your door.

Or the prospect of something you thought of as a good dream that is moving farther and farther away?

What if what you are experiencing is a sense of loneliness? You feel unprotected.

Friend, pray, like the Israelite King David did to remind himself of who God really is in the presence of both difficult and fading realities. David began his prayer, in Psalm 31, with a phrase that was echoed by Jesus himself at the cross: “I entrust my spirit into your hand. Rescue me, Lord, for you are a faithful God.” The following statements are what he prayed after he poured out his fainting heart before God. Print this blog or read it in your own Bible and underline what you sense you need the most right now, at this moment!

But I am trusting you, O Lord,

    saying, “You are my God!”

My future is in your hands.

    Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly.

Let your favor shine on your servant.

    In your unfailing love, rescue me.

Don’t let me be disgraced, O Lord,

    for I call out to you for help.

Let the wicked be disgraced;

    let them lie silent in the grave.

Silence their lying lips—

    those proud and arrogant lips that accuse the godly.

How great is the goodness

    you have stored up for those who fear you.

You lavish it on those who come to you for protection,

    blessing them before the watching world.

You hide them in the shelter of your presence,

    safe from those who conspire against them.

You shelter them in your presence,

    far from accusing tongues.

Praise the Lord,

    for he has shown me the wonders of his unfailing love.

    He kept me safe when my city was under attack.

In panic I cried out,

    “I am cut off from the Lord!”

But you heard my cry for mercy

    and answered my call for help.

Love the Lord, all you godly ones!

    For the Lord protects those who are loyal to him,

    but he harshly punishes the arrogant.

So be strong and courageous,

    all you who put your hope in the Lord!

As you read and mediate on who God is, I hope you also hear David’s assurance that God sees your troubles and He cares about the anguish of your soul (verse 7). Then, in verse 8, King David looks backward to acknowledge how God has acted and intervened in the past. What David sees in doing so is that God has protected him and has created a spacious place for his feet.

May God come to your aide and set your feet in a “spacious” place! 

Diego Cuartas

Faithful

This is all about the years when my husband hated me.

My mother and dad were not drinkers. Oh, they would occasionally have one when they had someone over to play cards, but that was it. When I grew up and tried it out I hated the taste, so that did it for me with hard liquor. When we got married we might have a drink when we went out (fruit-juicy for me) but never bothered at home. Champagne was tolerable.

But after my father-in-law died, things started being not so good with us. Rich really mourned his dad, and it seemed to get worse; nothing I did was right, and I heard about all my faults regularly, and it got pretty awful. And it went on and on. He was under a lot of pressure at work, and I really thought he was losing his mind.

One of our friends saw something I clearly was not able to see, and told me about Robert Johnson. We lived near Minneapolis then, and Johnson was an Episcopal priest who had literally fallen out of his pulpit drunk in his church in Edina, Minnesota! Anyway, after he had gone through rehab and everything he started a project. Across Lake Minnetonka from us was the town of Mound, and they had in Minnesota the highest divorce rate and the highest alcoholism rate in the state, and he was studying it; my friend suggested I go to him for counseling. So eventually, I did.

He was very kind, and asked questions, and listened to me for an hour and more. And then he asked me how much my husband drank. I was so surprised. I told him that we hardly drank at all, and in my mind I was terribly disappointed. I was thinking, they’re studying alcoholics so everybody has to be an alcoholic!

 But he persevered. He discovered that in our wing of the house (no children allowed!) we had a study, and Rich spent most of his time in there at his desk. And that when I joined him in the evening he usually now was so unpleasant that I soon left. And he assured me that Rich was drinking, and likely had a bottle hidden there somewhere; that I was to find it, mark the level of liquid in it, and the next night look at it again, and then call him and tell him how much was missing.

So home I went, very disappointed and feeling very disloyal about my assignment. And the next day, expecting no luck, I searched for a bottle. You know what happened. There, in a file cabinet, I found it. Blown away would be an understatement!  And even worse, the next day it was obviously a new bottle, because the level was about an eighth of an inch higher than the day before! He was drinking a fifth a day!

New assignment. Johnson explained to me an approach with which he was being pretty successful: intervention. It terrified me. In complete secrecy I was to enlist several men from different areas of my husband’s life, and explain the situation to them and have them all appear at my house together and wake my husband and tell him they were here, and why.

It was the hardest thing I have ever done. But I was so glad that it was something that could be FIXED, so I did it.

My brother flew in from Philadelphia. The company psychologist came in from town … his best friend and tennis partner … a doc who was his fishing buddy … a couple more. And he was furious. He said all the things you’d expect; no he wasn’t, this was ridiculous, what in God’s name was I thinking, etc. etc. But finally my brother said the best thing; he said, “Rich, you may not be an alcoholic, but I have too much respect for your intelligence to believe that you won’t try to find out.”

And that did it. The next morning he went in to work to tell them what he was doing, and took himself north to Hazelton, a famous rehab facility, and stayed a month, and never took another drink.  And started to hate me for involving his office.

But this is the worst thing. Alcohol really damages your brain. It changes things in you. And for at least two whole years you are just as nasty, just as mean as you were when you were drinking. It takes that long for your brain to heal. Many, many partners of non-drinking alcoholics find that period of time just too hard. They are already wearied by everything that went before, and they thought things would be better. They leave. And who can blame them.

But guys, this is the REAL wonder! All this happened before we found the real Jesus. And yet it is so obvious that God choreographed the whole thing!!! He led me to just the right Christian counselor; He gave me courage when I had none; He kept me from leaving; He gave me understanding; He was my loving Father when I desperately needed one.

God gave us a happy ending. We had both grown up pretty much the same, he in the Methodist church in Fort Worth and me in the Baptist church in Philadelphia, where we both considered ourselves Christians but really weren’t. And after we found Jesus, God used Rich greatly. AA was very meaningful to him, and he wanted to find a Christian AA, so to speak. So we went to Rick Warren’s church in California and brought Celebrate Recovery back to our church in Manahawkin, and he used his own story to minister to so many men there. When he died, man after man spoke at his memorial service about what Rich had meant to him.

And of course he had long since told me that I had saved his life.

This is a long story, and it covered a long time in my life. But God was so faithful. And I learned to see and depend upon God’s never-failing love and guidance, assured that He had the answers when I had none. We sometimes failed Him, but He never failed us, never. I surely pray that a time like this is never yours, but there are many, many circumstances that I never knew, and our God, our Creator, who designed our minds and knows our lives, is more than big enough for all of them. It is so true that we learn and grow in the valleys, and the most important things we learn are about God. He is with us. He is FOR us. He is able. He loves us beyond our understanding. And when He delivers us through our valleys, He enables us to love others with HIS love, and comfort them with HIS comfort, which is what Celebrate Recovery is all about. Remember that. Remember that you are never alone.

God’s faithful love never, never fails. Never.

Norma Stockton

Like Them or Like Him?

It seems to me these days that Christians are just too caught up in culture.  

We look and dress - like them.  

We speak - like them.  

We relate - like them.  

We work - like them.  

We use resources - like them.  

We worship the clock - like them.  

We buy and invest - like them.  

We run about aimlessly - like them.  

We exhaust ourselves for nothing - like them.  

We love the wrong things - like them.  

We fear everything - like them.  

We forget we are but flesh - like them.  

We focus on self - like them.  

We crave likes and opinions and comments - like them.  

We live for approval and approve of many sins - like them.  

We don't distinguish between good and evil - like them.  

We ignore the biblical Scriptures, God's useful Word - like them.  

We forget or ignore the Gospel, Good News of hope - like them.  

We refuse to risk for the greater err of caution - like them.  

We grumble and gossip - like them.   

We want our ears tickled - like them.  

We want more in discontent - like them.  

We live deluded and in delusions - like them.  

We live in feelings and wrongly define love - like them.  

We live imperfect lives while demanding perfection.  

We reject real authority - like them.  

We challenge the attribute of God’s Sovereignty and elevate human freedom - like them.  

We demand that things make sense and leave no room for faith - like them.  

We demonize and worship sexuality - like them.  

We ignore the reality of evil and the devil, who is called Satan the Accuser - like them.  

We don't make first things first and secondary things second - like them.  

We pray like we are talking to the restaurant server who will hear us and bring us what's on the menu - like them.  

We refuse wise counsel and forsake godly discernment - like them.  

We create indebtedness with others instead of forgiving many wrongs - like them.  

We are ruled by technology, communications, and QQF (Quality Quantity Faster) - like them.  

We crave deeper friendships, but we don't know how to be a friend - like them.  

We aim for nothing and hit targets we never intended to - like them.  

We want to be known and noticed and seen - like them.  

We want safety and security with freedom - like them.  

We want affirmation and encouragement and "nicely spoken sensitive things" prophesied to us - like them.  

We want God to bless us, but we aren't positioned for blessing - like them.  

We scurry in the stress of daily living and miss real Sabbath rest - like them.  

We want things here on earth to work the way they should, but we forget the future hope of heaven - like them.  

We lead like the world does while ignoring godly leadership models - like them.  

We manipulate circumstances and people and yet say we trust God - like them.  

We exact excessive interest (usury) and tax burdens that make people slaves to things they should not be - like them.  

We tolerate things we should not - like them.  

We trust naively and yet forsake real trust - like them.  

We build things on sand, not on Rock - like them.  

We want pleasures and food and experiences that drive us away from a sad burdened life and misdefine real joy - like them.  

We dishonor our parents - like them.  

We make decisions without real God consideration - like them.  

We believe things that have no real basis of authority - like them.  

We like winning now and miss the point of 'losing now' for greater gain - like them.  

We make idols and images of things that just ought not be, missing the heart of many matters - like them.  

We won't speak the name of Christ Jesus - like them.  We refuse to reject false religions - like them.

We want peace at any cost, and the price to pay is a deeper, hotter hell - like them.  

We act surprised that the enemy is in our camp when our walls were not shored up - like them.  

We reject missions impossible because the LORD isn't built into the impossible equation - like them.  

We forget what God has called us to and trade it for a lesser, unbiblical vision - like them.  

We lower shields of faith and expect flaming missiles not to hit vitals - like them.  

We refuse to deal with sin, and that little yeast works though the whole dough - like them.  

We walk in pride and forget that the LORD is able to humble any man - like them.  

We refuse hope in patient endurance, and demand that today be reconciled without seeing eternal life - like them.  

We ignore the very Word(s) of the Living God and wonder why it doesn't seem like He has much else to say - like them.  

Be not like them brothers and sisters.  For you are not like them.  

This is not a treatise on rules or legalism.  It's simply a reminder of what we look like - to them.  Oh that we would reflect the Savior and emanate His Life, His Love, and His Way.  And that others ("them") would join with us as followers of Christ. And oh that we would reflect His image to a dying world void of resurrection and that we would not be ashamed of Him, our Jesus.  For when we are distinctly but imperfectly sanctified, the world takes notice.  They see first things, real vertical trust, and the Gospel.  What do they hear?  What do they see on display?  Be (and become more) like Him.  It's the Gospel on display.  And it's the only way.

-Thor Knutstad

When Somebody Grabs My Toy

Something that happens with our kids A LOT is that one of them has a special thing in their hands, and another kid grabs it away.

Pretty typical kids-stuff, right? In our house it definitely is.

Because this happens ALL. THE. TIME. we've taught our children a 'script' of sorts for what we want them to do when someone grabs a toy out of their hands.

We teach them to:

1. Use their words. Ask for what they want. Say, "I was playing with that toy. Can I have it back, please?"
2. If the words don't work, find a Big Person and ask them for help. Say, "Mommy, I had this toy and Sissy took it away from me. Can you come help me, please?"

I love teaching my children this script because I think it is very helpful for when they grow up to be adults, as well. 

I have a problem with using my own words: it's hard for me to ask for what I want, to say my desires. It's hard for me to tell someone when I'm upset at something they've done. It's a little bit vulnerable to ask for what we want; it's a little bit vulnerable to honestly admit that we're upset. But when we just use our words to say what we feel and desire, it's so helpful and healthy.

Sometimes kids want to use non-words to deal with the situation. They might scream, or cry, or whine, or grab a toy back. It's like they're trying to 'fix' the situation by taking matters into their own hands in inappropriate ways. Adults do that too. They pitch a fit, they complain, they do something passive-aggressive, they manipulate. I want my children to learn to simply state what they want and feel without trying to 'fix' the situation by taking matters into their own hands in an inappropriate way.

And lastly, I love teaching my kids that when their words fail, they can run to a Big Person for help. Because that's what they'll need to do as adults: run to the ultimate Big Person when things are just not working out. They'll need to run to God. I want them to use healthy methods to solve problems, but I want them to know that when it's messy, when things just don't work out easily, that God is right there, ready to help. And I want them to know, because of their interactions with me, that His help is real, available, safe, and good. Because they've had their toy grabbed. Over and over and over again.

Sarah Howard

Where do you keep your ketchup?

            Jeff Hyson

I recently moved into a new office, complete with tiled floor, bare windows, bare walls, and hard furnishings.  Until I get a chance to "soften it up" with window shades and maybe an area rug, along with all of the equipment to do my job, the room is pretty stark.  The most annoying feature of the room is the crisp echo of any sounds, especially the sound of my fingers typing away on my keyboard.  It is very much an echo chamber.  Sounds stay inside and bounce around, while outside noises stay dull and muffled.  For my sanity, sometimes I need to get out of the echo chamber.

In our lives, we are often stuck in the echo chamber.  We have an opinion, a viewpoint, a way of doing things that we hold tightly to, and the people around us, the content we follow on Facebook, the information we surround ourselves with, echoes what we already think.  This constant reinforcement, or echo, of our already held opinions serves to strengthen them, while diminishing opposing voices.  While it might keep us comfortable, there are some major concerns with staying within our own echo chamber.

First, your echo chamber reinforces the belief that everyone feels the same way about an issue that you do.  I happen to not like a certain politician/billionaire/businessman/reality TV star very much, and everyone I tend to surround myself with, both on social media and in real life, feels the same.  The news articles that show up on my Twitter and Facebook feeds are decidedly anti-this-guy.  But as his popularity skyrockets, I've been left wondering how he can be so popular if nobody likes him?!?  Obviously, my echo chamber had reinforced my own opinions, with little ability to see beyond its barriers.  I'm not saying alternative voices would change my opinion, but they might help be see the political landscape more accurately.

Here's another example.  Where do you keep your ketchup?  If you are like most Americans, you keep it in the refrigerator.  That's the "correct" place to keep it.  However, if you are from the South, or most of Europe, you keep it in the cupboard or pantry.  Restaurants don't keep it in the refrigerator either.  Why does it matter?  Our placement of ketchup actually determines how we think about ketchup.  For fridge people, when you run out of ketchup, what do think of as a substitute?  Mayo or mustard might come to mind.  For pantry people, malt vinegar or spices might be the go-to.  Being stuck in one constantly-reinforced mindset limits our ability to see other points of view.  When we believe our opinions are the only valid opinions, we fail to see value in other perspectives.

I have been making an effort to escape my echo chamber, and I don't mean my new office.  If I want to be able to see and think about things from different angles, I cannot simply live in a world where every opinion I encounter reinforces my own.  Jesus wasn't a middle-class white American living in New Jersey.  He was a Jewish carpenter's son living in the Middle-East.  I would be willing to bet that he didn't keep his ketchup in the fridge. 

Jeff Hyson

START AFRESH!

Start Afresh!

If you have been following our blogs, you know the value of reading the personal story line that is often found in most of the blogs. As one of the pastors at our church community, I appreciate the efforts and thoughtfulness each blog contributor has brought to the table on a regular basis. It is our intention to continue fostering this kind of written interaction that encourages and illustrates so often the life according to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This life is not tidy, predictable, safe or painless. But it is a life that when looked on through certain lenses, say for instance the persons and promises of the Gospel, make life a hopeful journey, a journey that is worth living by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). 

So we are re-launching the two existing blogs (The Every Day Gospel and the Counseling one) by merging the two. The blogs will be musings of people just like you, who invite you into their personal stories, share what they learn from life experiences and reflect on human, spiritual and social issues, all seen through the lens of the Gospel. The aim of this blog is to encourage you to discover, follow & reveal Jesus.

I invite you to journey, on a weekly basis, with our blog contributors and allow this written venue to encourage your journey of faith! And from time to time, let us know if something has encouraged your life.

Sincerely,

Pastor Diego Cuartas

Facing Our Failures

It is not unusual to being a New Year making assessments of what we've done or who we are. The result can often be unbalanced--lacking the positive things--or purely negative. When this happens our conclusions often lead us to places where our mistakes assures us that we are failures. I want to introduce this week a blog from Ed Welch that may help us "deconstruct" failure.  Click here  to read the blog. May God give us grace to see ourselves correctly!

Providing For Me In My Pain

I get migraines several times a week.

I've tried lots of different things to try to help them. Currently I'm considering taking a preventative medicine. But as I've tried lots of different ways to help, so far they just keep coming.

Sometimes it's pretty stressful. I take a prescribed medication to stop the migraine once it starts, but my insurance only covers 9 pills every 28 days. And there are many days that I'm vacillating back and forth: do I take a pill? Again? Or do I save it so that I'll have enough later in the month? Because I usually do end up needing about 9 pills a month, give or take a few.

And I'm usually caught up in this mental battle, wondering if I can make it through without needing the medication, wondering if I'll have what I need when the next migraine hits...or the next or the next.

But you know what I realized a few months ago? I looked at my little container of migraine pills...and I noticed that when I refill my prescription, I always have a few left over. I always have just enough. Throughout the month, I always feel like I won't have enough or I might run out. But when it comes down to it, I might have 3 left over, or I might just have 1. But I've never NOT had enough.

I'm not saying that I won't ever run out of migraine pills. But I am saying that I haven't.

And yet I still worry every month.

And it makes me wonder...how many other areas of my life am I always taken care of, always provided for, always carried through, but I keep on worrying? 

When I'm in pain, I tend to think, "Oh no! PAIN! I need to control! I need to make it go away! I need to worry and strive to make sure I am provided for, to make sure I have enough!" But in my pain, Jesus is always taking care of me. He is a good, good Father. He is in control of every aspect of my pain, of my life. He's in control of the pain now, and He's also in control of how I'll be shaped and formed through it. He's in control of what I need and how I'll get it. He's just in control. Whether I perceive it or not.

And right there, in the middle of the pain, instead of worrying, I can force myself to take a deep breath, and I can remind myself that God is there, in the middle of it. And He's providing all that I need. I have enough. 

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God, My Surgeon

It was a Friday morning around 8 o’clock. I had just arrived at the hospital for another routine NST (non-stress test) where they were going to monitor the baby’s heart rate and my contractions. I would walk in, sit in the recliner, have the two monitors put on my belly, and they would hand me the clicker to press every time the baby moved. She would roll over. Click. Kick to the ribs. Click. Etc. Twenty minutes of monitoring and I would be all done. By this time in the pregnancy I had been coming in twice a week for a month and they all knew my name. I had gotten used to the routine and had come to expect to get in and get out.

However, things did not go as planned. Fifteen minutes into the test, I had a huge contraction. “No big deal,” I thought. I had been having them for weeks, and the nurses knew that because they often showed up on the test. However, this time was different. It seemed to take forever to ease up. One minute passed, then two minutes. Still I thought, “Oh well, I just must be dehydrated or something, no biggie.” Finally it started to subside. During the contraction I noticed that the nurse who usually monitors from her computer on the other side of the room had come to stand next to me and was intently staring at my monitor. “ Wow! Did you feel that?” she said. I replied with a simple, “Yep” all the while I’m thinking “Doi! Do you not see the peaks on that thing???”

I had handled it pretty well I thought, but it wasn’t me that she was worried about in that moment. The baby did not handle it well. Her heart rate that had held steady in the 150s had dropped down to 60 and then dropped off completely. Everything changed in a second. They laid me back, put me on oxygen and kept moving the monitor around to find the baby’s heartbeat. Welp, I was staying. After being admitted and constantly monitored over the next several hours, the baby’s heart rate kept dropping with contractions, and I was taken back for an emergency C-section. Ironically, after being prepped, it only took 10 minutes before I was a mommy again to a PERFECT baby girl.

The day of Alathea’s birth was hectic and not what I had envisioned or planned, but that was nothing compared to the pregnancy itself. My pregnancy was nothing short of a daily struggle. I had to take it one painstaking day at a time. For starters, I was on a low carb diet for gestational diabetes, so I had to plan ahead every meal so as to not go over my carb limit (PS. Carbs are in everything! I thought I was going to starve- lol). I had to check my blood sugar four times a day by pricking my finger for my ENTIRE pregnancy. I had to give myself six injections of insulin a day. I had to receive a hormone injection at the doctor’s office once a week for 20 weeks. I had no less than three appointments a week AND…a partridge in a pear tree! Haha, just kidding, but seriously it was a lot.

So, when Alathea was born, a part of me was like, “Are you kidding me? After all that, THIS is how she is going to be born, God?” The struggle during my pregnancy and her birth was not just physical but also mental and emotional. Day by day I had to cling to truth, not always sure that I believed it. Day by day I asked, “Jesus, where are you? Why is this so hard?”

It is only in retrospect that I am now able to see that He was bringing new life, not just into our family, but He was creating new life deep in me as well. I see that:

         - GOD was for me (My faith is stronger and I possess a greater endurance to weather hard things rather than being taken under).

         - GOD was there (I was able to hear God’s voice and feel His presence on the operating table. What?!).

         - GOD was in it (He was intentionally drawing close to me through those circumstances), and

         - GOD was working it out (Alathea was born healthy and my heart was being revealed).

Like a careful surgeon, He was and is exposing my false saviors and removing my misappropriated ideals. Sometimes, although it seems like Jesus does things the hard way (hard for me anyway), I know He can be trusted. And just like I was joyfully anticipating seeing my baby at the end of that C-section, I also look forward to seeing what beautiful life will be produced in my heart and soul when He is done.

Faith, Love and Perseverance: Essential Marks of God’s People

We can learn a great deal about others and their character through what we hear their friends or the public saying about them. I like getting my ear close to a letter the Apostle Paul wrote because, as I hear him speak about the church in Thessalonica, I get to learn about who they were as people. Furthermore, the way Paul speaks about them leaves me thinking that it would be worth imitating them. There are three key characteristics Paul highlights about these folks:

First, they have a faith that is growing abundantly.
Second, they have a love for each other that is increasing.
Third, they are persevering in the midst of persecutions and afflictions.

When I read what follows this description I am astonished. Paul makes a case that these evidences in a people point to the fact that there will be a judgement one day. And part of that judgement will include bringing deliverance to God's people from their persecutions and afflictions. God will do this. Sadly, during this judgement those who have not believed in God or disobeyed the Gospel of his Son Jesus will experience eternal destruction and will be alienated completely from the presence and glory of God and His Son.

But judgement is not be the only thing that will take place then. This will be a time when Jesus will be revealed and those who have believed in Him will participate in His glorification. They will marvel at Him! This will be considered the best show time the universe has ever had.

So, because there is so much at stake, Paul ends this chapter with a prayer. In his prayer, he asks for the Thessalonians for he desires for them to participate in the revelation of the Son of God. His prayer sounds like this:

God, make them worthy of your calling.
God, fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by your own power.
I ask these things so that they may be glorified in Jesus and Jesus in them by the grace you and the Son can provide!

Are you seeing your faith grow? How?
Is your love for others increasing? What is the fruit of that?
Are you enduring your persecutions and afflictions? What evidences this?

Take courage! God and His Son promise to make their grace available to you. You too can pray, and ask others to pray, that God will make you worthy of His calling; that He will fulfill every good resolve and every good work originated in faith by His power!

An Odyssey

I will tell you a sad story from many years ago.

I was thirty-one, and I was putting my seven-year-old daughter to bed one night. It was Christmas time, with carols galore everywhere, and after she said her (ritual) prayers, she wanted to ask me something. She said, “Mommy, is Jesus really God?”

This was during the period in my life when I THOUGHT I was a Christian because I had grown up in the church and I wasn’t Jewish so I must be a Christian, right? I hated child evangelism because I thought it was manipulating the emotions of children too young to make such decisions. Oh, I was very sure of myself. And so I said to my precious daughter, “Andi, that’s something you will have to decide when you get older.” She was so troubled, and she said, “But I want you to tell me!” And I said, again, “No, sweetheart. You will decide that when you are older.”

I remember feeling very shaky as I left her room, but I did not doubt that I had done the right thing. And so life went on. Some years later God brought me to the truth, and I REALLY became a Christian, and so did my children ---- all except Andi. It was like she had slipped through the cracks. And I suffered. I could clearly remember every detail of that night when she begged me to tell her who Jesus was, and I refused to give her the answer. She became like I had been; she and her husband went to church because that’s what nice people in Texas do on Sunday, but her life was her own. And I prayed and prayed through many tears.

Then, some more years later, she had an accident at work and had one finger removed, and came home to New Jersey in a cast to heal. And one Sunday night she was having dinner at her brother’s house instead of going to church like I wanted, and the reason that they didn’t show up was that her brother was leading her to the Lord! Praise God! Then she wanted to be baptized right away and so she was, in the ocean, with one arm in a cast held up above the waves!

BUT GOD…such wonderful, wonderful words!  In the midst of my grief and fear, He reached down and touched the heart of my precious daughter and repaired the damage of my arrogant decision. He also taught me a few things about needing to be right and the folly of ‘leaning on my own understanding.’

Do you, perhaps, have someone you love who resists every effort to tell him or her about your wonderful savior? Have you prayed and prayed, seemingly with no result? Have you wondered if God even hears you?

He hears, and He cares. It is so hard to try to understand God’s timing. My dear grandmother was a devoted Christian, and I know she must have known I wasn’t, and I know she prayed for me, but she died before I really learned to love the Lord. Still, when we pray for the salvation of one we love, we can be sure that we are praying in God’s will, and that He wants the same thing!

So be encouraged. Pray and pray and pray. Know that God’s timing is perfect. Know that God loves you and that loved one beyond your understanding. Remember all the seemingly impossible stories where great sinners turned to the Lord. Remember stories like mine, where I also had to repent of my arrogance and pride and allow God to change me.

This is the God we love and worship. This is the God we serve. And this is the God who loves us, and comforts every grieving heart. Trust Him.

The Seen Savior

When we read about the birth of Christ in Luke chapter 2, we are quickly drawn to this particular verse: "Today, in the town of David, a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord."  This is where the Savior was announced.  This is where the prophecies of the Old Testament came true.  This was the news of all history.  It is of particular interest to note that the man of God, Simeon, states with utter confidence eight days later in Luke 2:30, "For my eyes have seen your salvation."  Simeon knew he was looking at the Savior.

This Jesus, whom we call Messiah (the Christ, which literally means 'the anointed one') is the Seen Salvation.  God prepared this for the sight of all people.  It is a Seen Salvation.  He is a Seen Savior, which is a light for Gentiles and for the glory of Israel.  So, the invisible God becomes a visible God-Man - Seen.  He is a Seen Savior who provides a Seen Salvation.  His foretelling in prophecy - Fulfilled and Seen.  His birth - Seen.  His identity confirmed by angels and shepherds and kings - Seen.  His life - Seen.  His ministry of truth and miracles - Seen.  His sacrificial death - Seen.  His resurrection power over death - Seen.  His ascension - Seen.  His glorious return - Imminent.  Soon.  To be seen.  This is our Seen Joy.  Praise Him our Wonderful Savior whom is Christ the LORD!  May we help others to SEE Him in us and through us.

Blessings for Christmas, my LFAC friends!
Thor Knutstad

One Of The Bases For Thanking God In All Circumstances

Don't you love those commands we are given in the Bible that are so absolute? My humanity usually responds internally with something like, "Who can do this all the time?" Or "This seems so impossible!". Take for instance the imperative the Apostle Paul presents to us in 1 Thessalonians 5:18: "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." A couple of observations here. One, this is an all inclusive imperative--in all circumstances. That means there is no moment of my life that can be exempted from gratitude. Two, this is the will of God for us in Christ Jesus--which points to something we cannot do on our own or through other means but Jesus himself.

So yesterday I was reading this verse and was curious about the context. To my surprise, I saw a connection, for first time ever in my life, with verse 23-24. Let's say God is giving me more reasons to understand the basis for thanking Him in all circumstances. Here it is: because God is always working toward my "complete sanctification", everything becomes a tool or avenue for Him to accomplish that in me. So the basis for thanksgiving is that, in this moment, in this circumstance I am in, God is working toward my transformation. This transformation, or sanctification, involves my spirit, my soul and my body. It gets even better. Paul affirms that the one who calls us, God, is the one who is committed and is able to fulfill the promise of our transformation and presentation of a blameless life on the day when Jesus is revealed again.

So my gratitude in this moment could sound something like this:

"I thank you God because in Christ Jesus I am the direct beneficiary of your work in my life,
Thank you that your work at this moment involves my transformation,
I receive the molding you are doing in my spirit, my soul and my body,
And I renew my trust in you and your promise that you will accomplish your good purposes in me
Until that day when you will present me blameless at the revelation of my Savior."

Daily Bread:8 Reasons Why You Need It More Than You Think

Melissa Kruger, author of The Envy of Eve and Walking with God in The Season of Motherhood, wrote a blog that I think is perfect for all of us during this busy season of holidays. In her blog, Daily Bread, Melissa offers 8 essential reasons why we need to pursue daily times in the Word of God. I recommend this blog posted under the Gospel Coalition website. To read the blog please click here.