Resurrecting My Marriage

Breathtaking! Bold! Beautiful! Like nothing you’ve seen before!

Those are the words that Roger Ebert (of the Chicago Sun-Times) used to describe the Robin Williams movie What Dreams May Come. Similar words were used by my wife’s co-worker, in reference to this 1998 film, which got us intrigued enough to watch it.

The film was based on the novel of the same name by Richard Matheson, whose earlier work, I am Legend, was set for the screen in Charlton Heston’s The Omega Man (1971) and Will Smith’s I am Legend (2007). What Dreams May Come was written for the screen by Ronald Bass, who is known for the Dustin Hoffman-Tom Cruise film Rain Man, along with other relationship-driven films, such as My Best Friend’s Wedding and Sleeping with the Enemy.

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So what happens when the work of a man known for science fiction is interpreted by another known for relationship stories? You get the tale of a lost relationship hoping to be mended, with the mending set in a fantastical place—one masquerading as heaven, but is not. In this heaven, God is nowhere to be found and all who enter it can create their own lush and beautiful reality, as long as they can focus long enough on what they wish to create.

Loosely based on portions of Dante Alighieri’s Divine Comedy (1472), What Dreams May Come was a disappointment. Its premise is an extension of New Age thinking, which says that you can make your own reality here on earth, and applies it to the afterlife. This wasn’t exactly what Dante, or God, had in mind.

What Dante did have in mind was the idea of a man going through hell (literally) in order to reunite with the love of his life. Beatrice is his motivation for traversing all of the circles of hell, purgatory, and paradise, so that he might once again be with she who had passed away before him.

What Dreams May Come, whose title was lifted from Hamlet’s “To be or not to be” soliloquy, contains faulty theology, but its core premise intrigued me. It reminded me of a question I’ve had since I met the love of my life: Could we get remarried in the resurrection?

An odd question, I know. It does seem to fly in the face of the catechism some of us once knew, which says, in part: “Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.”

An answer to my question (Could we get remarried?), in light of this, could go something like: “No, if you’re enjoying God forever, marriage will get in the way of that. Besides, Jesus said, ‘For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven’ (Mark 12:25).”

This deserves a two-part answer.

I don’t know about marriage to another human being intruding upon a relationship with God then, in the next life, because the goal is to not permit that to happen in the here and now. If marriage to another person can be made to not intrude upon our relationship with God in this life, then why would it be intrusive in the next?

(I’ve once heard that this life is heaven practice, that this is where we learn priorities and behaviors that prepare us for the next life. I think that the Apostle Paul may agree with this notion, for, as Pastor Greg has recently reminded us, Paul had said that “godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come” (I Timothy 4:8).)

Whether it’s here and now or then and there, the idea is to maintain priorities: God first and all others second. As I told my wife, when I first introduced myself, “I want to be a part of your life knowing that I’m in second place, right behind God; and I want to know that you’re comfortable knowing you’re in second place—right after God.” With these priorities, I don’t believe that time and place play any part in the equation.

But what of what Jesus said about marriage in the next life? As Hamlet would say, “Ay, there’s the rub!”

From the looks of things—like the English Standard Version, quoted above—Jesus appears to have said that marriage isn’t part of the resurrection. But, as with the film I discussed above, looks can be deceiving. The actual meaning lies beneath the surface.

The context of the statement was Jesus’ response to an effort at entrapment by the Sadducees—those who don’t believe in the resurrection, so they’re sad, you see. 😉  Their attempt and his answer is found in Mark 12:18-27.

The passage begins by saying the Sadducees are agnostic regarding the resurrection; yet they asked him about it, anyway, to try and disprove the concept. Their attempt refers to the Levitical law that says if a man should die without a child, his brother should marry the widow, in order to preserve the family line and name.

The Sadducees proposed a ridiculous hypothetical; they suggested that this practice had occurred with seven brothers, none of whom could raise up a son. They further suggested that Jesus, because he hadn’t answered the question of to whom the woman would belong in the resurrection, he then couldn’t explain the resurrection, either, since he couldn’t sort out this family-lineage scenario to their satisfaction.

In the midst of his rebuttal to their hypothetical, Jesus said, “When they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven” (Mark 12:25). Or did he?

Well, that’s how the English Standard Version translates the Greek. But that may be an imperfect translation.

A possibly better translation, given the context of the passage, has to do with how women were being viewed, especially by the Sadducees: as possessions, as a means to an end, as a way to create sons who would maintain the lineage of the man.

Jesus says that the resurrection eliminates this selfish view of women as possessions. The ancient Syriac Peshitta version of the Bible translates the above verse from Mark this way: “They do not take wives, nor are wives given to husbands.” That is, they’re not taken by men, nor are they given to other men as possessions. Rather, in the resurrection, we all belong to God.

If we all belong to God, we would then belong to each other as we willingly give ourselves one to another—in much the same way that New Testament marriage calls for us to willingly belong to and submit to one to another (Ephesians 5:21), out of love for one another and out of reverence to God.

With this in mind, the sense that I get of what Jesus told the Sadducees is that the Old Testament view of marriage—found in Deuteronomy 25:5–10, where women are the possessions of men, for the sake of the family name and little else—will be done away with in the resurrection.

It’s not that marriage will be done away with, altogether. Meaning, there may be marriage in the resurrection, after all, and it may actually look like the sort of New Testament marriage that my wife and I currently enjoy and look to get better at, as the days go by.

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This is not a theological certainty. Or even a theological assertion. It’s just the hope of my heart, based on what I believe Jesus has said on the subject, as he addressed an actual theological certainty.

In watching the theologically faulty What Dreams May Come, I had to take a closer look at marriage and how it might look in the resurrection, in the life after this—for heaven is but a momentary stopover, on the way to the resurrection, where God has for us new bodies, and a new heaven and a new earth (Revelation 21:1). With that closer look, I now have hope, as a late-middle-age man, that I may indeed be able to once again marry my wife, if I can somehow see her in the resurrection to come.

My body is faulty. I’m dealing with what may one day be a difficult end-of-life scenario, in a battle with rheumatoid arthritis. As I fight the good fight, I’m thankful that I’m not fighting it alone. God is with me, by his spirit, and he has sent me an ally, a partner, one whom I can now hardly imagine life without.

She is the love that I had never known until Our Father had introduced us. God brought her four thousand miles from home to eventually meet me in Vineland, New Jersey. I wonder how far I might have to travel to meet her, once again, when I have finally, as Hamlet had said, “shuffled off this mortal coil.”

—Kevin Hutchins

*Please be advised that this blog represents the views, opinions and beliefs of the writer and does not necessarily reflect those of our church leadership or denominational affiliation.

Keeping the Gospel Message Fresh in our Soul

I remember a philosophy professor told our class about the need to recalibrate underground missiles every so often during the course of a day due to the movement of the earth and the catastrophic consequences that would take place if the wrong target would be hit by one of these. For those of you wondering, this was an ex-military now professor. Like the missiles, my professor noted, our souls need to be recalibrated so often because our tendency is to get off track easily and quickly.

Though our hearts may have been anchored in the Gospel at some point in our lives, the reality is that we need Jesus to rescue us every day. Though saved, we are still dealing with the presence of sin and a heart that easily makes an idol out of anything that shines or promises life to us.

Where can you go to recalibrate often your soul? Where can you go to remind your soul of the precious Gospel message? These days I would recommend Titus 2:14:

"[Jesus] who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works."

One verse packed with the truth you need to remind yourself of who saved you and what is the extend of His redemption.

1. Who saved you? Jesus "gave himself for us". He took the initiative to become human so as to enter our world and from that place offer a sacrifice that would satisfy the demands of His Father. In a profound way, Jesus did whatever it took to reconcile human beings with God and give them a chance to participate in his glory--a larger narrative beyond our wildest dreams!

2. What is the extent of his redemption? Jesus came explicitly to...

• Redeem us from lawlessness (He came to address our idolatrous hearts)

• Purify us for Himself (He came to change our condition)

• To make us His own possession (He came to change our identity; not orphans any longer but His treasured possession)

• That we may be zealous for good works (He came to change our purpose; we can now be carriers of His presence in the daily and mundane moments)

I hope you find this passage helpful. Recalibrating our hearts can begin with a few simple questions that can take us back to the Gospel in Titus 2:14:

• What place does Jesus have in my life right now?

• What is my heart treasuring today?

• How am I addressing sin in my life?

• Who do I believe I am? And who is telling me that?

• What do I believe is my purpose?

May God refresh your Gospel-thirsty soul as you recalibrate your heart. Caution: failing to do so often will have catastrophic consequences.

—Diego Cuartas

*Please be advised that this blog represents the views, opinions and beliefs of the writer and does not necessarily reflect those of our church leadership or denominational affiliation.

House Hunting

When I got my Real Estate license in New Jersey, I must admit that my primary drive was that I LOVE to look at other people’s houses! But through all twelve times we moved state to state, I never got to look at or choose the next house we were going to buy and move into. My husband did it, every time! I had a houseful of children, and while he went ahead to his new job or promotion, I stayed behind to get our old house sold and our children’s schooling arranged and did all those other things that needed attention. He sent lots of pictures and did lots of description, but he was the one in the new state, and he did the house hunting. It wasn’t easy; one of the later moves included two horses! As it turned out, I loved every home he picked out!

But you know what? Every one of us who loves Jesus is going to have that experience, too. Here’s what He said about that final move we will all be taking:

“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.” John 14:1-3

Won’t that be wonderful? We won’t have to pack anything; we already have our tickets, and our passport will be stamped. And I think we will absolutely love the neighborhood!

—Norma Stockton

*Please be advised that this blog represents the views, opinions and beliefs of the writer and does not necessarily reflect those of our church leadership or denominational affiliation.

"Pause, and Calmly Think of That"

As you look back on the summer of 2020, and as you move into the fall of 2020, I don’t know what this season has been like for you. I’ve seen so many memes floating around, joking about the year 2020 and all the things that have seemingly blindsided us with its entrance. For me, while there have been genuinely precious moments, there have also been long stretches of inner turmoil. One thing that has genuinely comforted me throughout the stretches of turmoil has been lingering with the Psalms. I’d like to share Psalm 3 with you, and how it has helped to bring a settling calm in moments when I don’t feel a lot of calm.

Psalm 3 (Amplified Version)

Lord, how they are increased who trouble me! Many are they who rise up against me.

Many are saying of me, There is no help for him in God. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!

But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.

With my voice I cry to the Lord, and He hears and answers me out of His holy hill. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!

I lay down and slept; I wakened again, for the Lord sustains me.

I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people who have set themselves against me round about.

Arise, O Lord; save me, O my God! For You have struck all my enemies on the cheek; You have broken the teeth of the ungodly.

Salvation belongs to the Lord; May Your blessing be upon Your people. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!

Oh my. Right away I can relate. I have definitely felt in my own mind that ‘many have increased who trouble me,’ or ‘many rise up against me.’ Have you ever felt that? I would assume that David was probably talking about physical enemies, but often the enemies that rise up against me are thought patterns, arguments, lofty opinions that attempt to boss me around with fear, anxiety, and intimidation.

And I have surely felt the accusation when my mind is swirling, and I’m overwhelmed by the confusion of circumstances, and all of the sudden, I’m not so sure who I am anymore, and if maybe I have completely ruined my life, that ‘there is no help [for me] in God.’

Whether I feel disqualified by fearfully considering myself not good enough, or concluding that my sin has made it so that there will not be a place of help for me in God, or thinking that my only hope will be in something other than God…I have heard that suggestive accusation loud and clear. I love the way the Amplified version translates ‘Selah’: ‘pause and think calmly of that!’ That’s part of the reason why I’d say that this psalm has brought a deep calm and comfort to me in times of inner turmoil, because of the invitation within the sequence: “Pause and think calmly of the suggestions I’m hearing that there is no help for me in God. Acknowledge them. Acknowledge that I hear them. Bring them before God. Get them out in the light.”

As I acknowledge that I hear suggestions that there won’t be help for me in God, the next invitation is to actually move in direct opposition to those suggestions: in the face of enemies rising up, accusations, many scary things, You, Oh Lord, ARE a shield for me. You ARE a help. You shield me from these very enemies. Adam Clarke commentary says, “As a shield covers and defends the body from the strokes of an adversary, so wilt thou cover and defend me from them that rise up against me.” And, further, the Lord is the lifter of my head: “Thou wilt restore me to the state from which my enemies have cast me down. This is the meaning of the phrase; and this he speaks prophetically. He was satisfied that the deliverance would take place, hence his confidence in prayer; so that we find him, with comparative unconcern, laying himself down in his bed, expecting the sure protection of the Almighty” (again, from Adam Clarke commentary). In the face of enemies, inner turmoil, and accusations that I won’t find help in God, I can speak with confidence and into my future that God is the lifter of my head. He is my shield, and He sees my current state, and He will, in fact, lift my head. I can rest securely in Him. Not in what I will do, but in what He will do, for He truly is help for me.

Next, there is the invitation to use my own voice to cry to the Lord. He hears. The invitation comes again to pause and think calmly on how the Lord promises that He hears. When I’m in distress, I don’t naturally rest that the Lord hears me. I tend to feel more restless and fidgety.

Next comes this bold and courageous faith-filled action step of the author, the outcome of choosing to not listen to the accusations of the enemies, but choosing to remember God and His help: IN THE FACE OF ALL THOSE ENEMIES, he lies down and sleeps. And he says clearly that the reason he wakes up safely is because THE LORD sustains him. Phew. That is so beautiful to me. Again, from Adam Clarke: “He who knows that he has God for his Protector may go quietly and confidently to his bed, not fearing the violence of the fire, the edge of the sword, the designs of wicked men, nor the influence of malevolent spirits. “I awakened”- God, my shield, protected me. I both slept and awaked; and my life is still whole in me.”

Then the author sets his intention after this bold, faith-filled sleep: “I will not be afraid of ten thousands.” Why? Because there is help, for him, in God. And he asks the Lord to rise up violently against the enemies that are suggesting otherwise to him: “Arise, oh Lord…You have struck all my enemies on the cheek.”

And finally, “Salvation belongs to the Lord.” Salvation doesn’t come from anywhere else: it doesn’t come from my ability to figure things out or to fix my life or to avoid enemies. Salvation comes from the Lord. And I deeply need it. This whole psalm is an invitation to believe that salvation is available to me through the Lord’s deep care and concern for me, through His character, not through any rescue I can muster up within myself. Salvation came through the Lord and continues to come through Him.

So I don’t know if taking time with this psalm brings you comfort as well, but for me, it’s just so good to remind myself of the peace that is available to me in the Lord, in the face of stretches of inner turmoil. As I share it with you, my hope is that in choosing to ‘Pause, and calmly think’ on God’s words, you and I will both be more firmly rooted in what is truly solid.

—Sarah Howard

*Please be advised that this blog represents the views, opinions and beliefs of the writer and does not necessarily reflect those of our church leadership or denominational affiliation.

A Redeemed Microwave

Psalm 19:14

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.

The other night our family was getting ready to go to a family birthday dinner, and as my wife went to heat something up in the microwave, it would not do its microwave thing when the start button was pushed. Nope, nothing. It wasn’t the breaker because the clock worked, over the stove light worked, but nothing else. At that moment, I silently declared it’s now just an elaborate cupboard with a clock and light. Hmmm, what’s the first thing I think of? “Oooooo, that’s gonna be ‘spensive.” Well, we went to dinner and had a great time and did not think about the microwave even once.

Then we came home, and to me that microwave clock is the brightest thing in the kitchen. I pulled out a stool, my son Matthew and I got the mount bolts out and took the microwave downstairs to the workbench. We disassembled it with surgical precision. Cover off, front panel off and undid some of the wiring so we could test things. The most incredible thing happened. Matt was looking for what switches did what, and he pointed to the internal part of the control panel, “There’s a folded-up piece of paper.” He pulled it out, and it was a wiring diagram with all the circuit flow diagrams, component lists and troubleshooting flowchart. Wow, that is cool. Manufacturers used to do that for the repairmen. We spread the diagram out all over the bench, and we were both following the electrical flow and started testing things. “Voila!”, bad door switch. He shorted across it and plugged it back in, and the microwave did its microwave thing and heated up a bottle of water. We’re there! I took the switch upstairs to the computer and found a place where I could buy one for $4.08 with free shipping. While I was waiting on the switch to arrive, I did get to clean out the internals of the microwave. It was really dirty after 10 years of use. Since it was open, I took an old toothbrush and scrubbed everywhere that had yuck.

Two days later the switch showed up, and an hour later the microwave was being used to heat up lunch.

I am so thankful to God that my sons and I are “take ‘er apart and fix ‘er people.” I am also thankful that it only cost $4.08, but most of all I am thankful that I got to spend time with my son figuring out what was broken. I got to see his troubleshooting skills and see firsthand how he uses the necessary tools to get to the answers to find a solution.

I am reminded about what Jesus did in my life to redeem me from my life of destruction. I remember when He started to make changes in my life. I was at a place of, “Lord, do what you have to do; I’m a mess,” and He did. He moved me out of the life I was in (self-centered) and planted me in Church. I started reading the Bible, having devotions every morning, and He brought me alongside Godly friends and got me involved in discipleship. As I look back, I notice that He was drilling into the deeper areas of my life to pull out the bad switch. Hah… ok switches. And the changes started to take place.

I’m realizing that I’m not always right. Remember “Ooooo, that’s gonna be ‘spensive”? Nope. $4.08 and a bit of my time. Done.

In the past I have always viewed “broken” as a bad thing and “fixing” whatever, as the “conquering the problem” or even “victory.” What has changed is that when I see something broken now, I start to look for the blessing that usually comes with it. Sharing, fellowship, conversations that would not have taken place without it. How is God going to use this? For instance, if something on my vehicle breaks, I know my brother (the auto mechanic) might need to talk with me about something. And that is usually the case.

In the past I have not been so thankful for what God has provided in my life, but that is changing. I am seeing that there are a lot of things in my life that I do not really deserve. Through God’s grace they are provided, and I’m thankful for them. But I also see them for what they really are: provisions and not the work of my hands.

As I stated, I did get to thoroughly clean the microwave while it was on the bench. Cleaned the dust from the fans and the internal ductwork, the underside of the door (ugh). I could get to places that I could not when it was over the stove. Didn’t Jesus wash me white as snow? You could say that I’m not a fire hazard to my surroundings anymore. Neither is the microwave.

Currently the microwave is operating perfectly. It is clean and looks great. It has been redeemed (from broken to repaired), and I can see the results in my kitchen.

Currently I feel I’m right where He wants me. In the journey of sanctification. I have been redeemed (from destruction to life), and I can see results in my heart.

What evidence is there that the Holy Spirit is digging into deep areas in your life?
What are the areas where the Holy Spirit is working on your life in your journey of sanctification?
What results do you see in your life, comparing where you were to where you are now?
I encourage you to discuss these with God.

Have a great day!

—Brian Rainey

*Please be advised that this blog represents the views, opinions and beliefs of the writer and does not necessarily reflect those of our church leadership or denominational affiliation.