“NO” Is Not A Four Letter Word!

Back in the day when I was growing up, I was taught that I shouldn’t say curse words, or “4 letter words” as we called them. I won’t elaborate or be more specific with those! Interestingly though, I was also taught I couldn’t say ‘no’ to things that hurt me either. The word ‘yes’ was very acceptable, the good Christian thing to say, but the word ‘no’ was out of bounds! That set me up very nicely for major boundary problems that in turn brought lots and lots of problems for me in relationships for many years.

I consider my own counseling journey to be one that cost thousands of dollars to learn how to say ‘no’ - a difficult yet rewarding journey. The rewards far out-weighed the difficulties.

But, you may be asking, “Are boundaries biblical?” “Aren’t we supposed to lay down our lives in order for Christ to rise up in us and say ‘yes’ to everyone in need?” “Lois, where is the true Gospel message in boundaries?”

Well, great questions, and I am so glad you asked! Here we go!

God is a good, loving, perfect, holy parent that loves His children so much that He wrote a whole book of boundaries! It’s called the Bible!

The very first set of boundaries that I read about in the Bible is in Genesis, where God tells Adam and Eve ‘yes’ to all of the trees but ‘no’ to a certain one. He spelled out a set of limitations, or boundaries, out of love for them. Just like when we tell children, “You can play in the backyard, but don’t go into the street,” out of love for them. Good parenting involves setting up healthy boundaries for children to learn to live and in order to protect them. Parents, can you imagine allowing your children to do WHATEVER they wanted to do, WHENEVER and WHEREVER! SMH (shaking my head in Facebook world:) )

God tells us all about the boundary lines He has set up for us out of love so we do not play in the street and have horrible consequences. Unfortunately, most of us really don’t think He means it, so we do the things He tells us not to do. We suffer consequences when we violate His boundaries, then we have the audacity to blame Him, just like Adam and Eve did. We then expect Him to say, maybe like our parents or others have, “It’s OK, I know you didn’t mean it.” Did God say that to Adam and Eve? No, He didn’t, and I am thankful for that! He said “Get out of the garden.” God cannot contradict His word which says “Let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no’”.

I am not sure how many of you reading this blog struggle with saying ‘NO’ or even realized that God was the author of boundaries, not Henry Cloud and John Townsend. They are wonderfully gifted men, and I love their books!! They are a must for your bookshelf, by the way. But God is the original author. Henry and John got their insights for the material from the Spirit of God!

My hope would be that this little bite would drive you into the scriptures to see what God does say about this topic, Boundaries and your life! How He sent His Son Jesus to redeem all of the sin that results in pain of living so long without boundaries. Because of Jesus, God allowed my eyes to be opened to the principle of “let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no’”. Before that I said yes to everything and allowed the bad to come in and nearly kill me.

Check it out!!

Chocolate Smears and Noisy Sheep

This was my great-grandson, Cameron (age 4) and his very sharp Dad:

            Dad:   Cameron, did you take that piece of chocolate on the table?

            Cam:  Oh, NO, Daddy!

            Dad:   Are you sure? I think you have smears of chocolate around your    

                        mouth.

            Cam:  No, it wasn’t me. It was Bunny (little brother).

            Dad:   Really. (Pause.) Well I guess we should take Bunny to the

                        hospital right now, because he’ll be really sick. There was cat poop

                        on that chocolate!

            Cam:  (pause) (pause) Daddy! Daddy! Take me to the hospital QUICK,

                        because I just ate cat poop!!

When you’re four, you’re not yet very good at this lying business. It seems like a great idea, and a neat way to stay out of trouble! And sometimes it even works!! Unfortunately, as we age, we find we are able to get better and better at it, and more able to justify it to ourselves. All the little so-called white lies; all the lies of omission, where we leave out some of the truth. And even more common, the dishonesty of disobedience.

One of my favorite stories is in 1st Samuel 15. Samuel was a prophet, who had been dedicated to God in infancy, and as an adult ministered to King Saul, the first king of the Jews. God, through Samuel, sent word to Saul that He wanted to settle the score with the Amalekites, who had mistreated Moses and his people during their journey. So God commanded Saul to take his army and utterly destroy every one of the Amalekites, including all the livestock. But Saul and his men liked the looks of the fat cattle and sheep and goats, and so only destroyed the weak and sick ones, and brought the rest home with them as plunder. This greatly grieved God and He told Samuel that He was sorry that He had ever made Saul king. Samuel went to find Saul.

 When Samuel finally found him, Saul greeted him cheerfully. “May the Lord bless

you”, he said. “I have carried out the Lord’s command.” But Samuel nailed him.

“Then what is all the bleating of sheep and the lowing of cattle I hear?” Samuel demanded.

Samuel faced Saul with his disobedience to God’s command. And he said this:

“What is more pleasing to the Lord:

     your burnt offerings and sacrifices

     or your obedience to His voice?

Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice,

     and submission is better than offering

             the fat of rams.

Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft,

     and stubbornness as bad as

              worshipping idols!”   

I would hate to have to count the times I have almost been totally obedient to what I knew God wanted me to do. Or the times I have been stubborn.  Or the times I have refused to submit.

Dishonesty has many facets. We may not lie about the chocolate on our face, which anyone can see.  But how about the disobedience and the rebellion that is hidden in our hearts, that no one can see? No one, that is, except God.

The Heart of a False Teacher: Part 2, An Examination of Old Testament False Prophets

1 Peter 2:1-3 (my paraphrase) says, "Just as there were false prophets among the people of Israel, so also there will be false teachers among you, for they have secretly slipped in like spies, subtly bringing in the contagion of destructive heresies and bad doctrine, even denying Christ's lordship over their lives as they refuse to submit to Him with their immoral disobediences. For these follow sensualities [lusts] and are greedy for the gain and make market of you in their covetousness for money. They exploit you with words and they are condemned for destruction." Now there's a lot here. If I were putting this in list form, there would be at least five facets of a false teacher in the New Testament (and now) that parallel the Old Testament false prophets in the past. For study purposes, I will treat them one and the same. In this article, I would like to specifically focus on just the first part of verse 1, "Just as there were false prophets among the people of Israel."  Jeremiah chapter 10 calls these false prophets "stupid [senseless; literally 'without the sense'] shepherds" (I will have much more to say about Jeremiah chapter 10 in part three of my study).  But I want you to know that this passage completely parallels many NT authors such as Paul, Peter, John, and Jude.  Even the gospel authors, especially Luke, pay careful attention to detailing the work of these imposters who were found within religious leadership.  They were then (OT & NT) and they are now.  Personally, I have been on a nearly two-year study working through the details of Scripture concerning false prophets, false apostles, and false teachers. The OT prophets dealt with them, as did the Lord Jesus and the apostles and the NT authors who laid the biblical framework for the church. In a recent conversation with Pastor Nate about false teachers, he said to me, "I think you're onto something Thor.  Nobody's talking about that.  You're onto something, man."  He means that no one in Christian leadership circles or even in local or regional or high levels is discussing this as a problem for churches. Knowing me as the pastoral counselor, it would be easier for me to pick a typical counseling topic for an article.  But actually, the damage that false teachers have done to people in the realm of deception is a huge problem. People are often swallowed up by the cliché theology of false teachers. People look for Jesus in things that don't align with the Word of God. And the false teachers, like the false prophets of old, push into the people and do much damage. So I'm going to take Nate's encouraging counsel and continue to press into this theological issue where the Scriptures are not silent. Nobody may be talking about it, but I'm glad to be that nobody. We cannot neglect major portions of Scripture dedicated to the descriptions, depictions, and refutations of false leaders. If we do, we neglect these ravenous wolves, by natural instincts, who want to devour beloved sheep. And as shepherds, we must protect the sheep from these wolves.

Jeremiah probably has the most to say about false prophets. His descriptions of them are vivid and detailed; plus, they falsely accused and assaulted him directly because his confrontation of them that was always so bold and forthright. In Bible study, repetition is an often-employed strategy in language for major emphasis. Solomon does this often in the Proverbs, as David his father did in the Psalms. Paul does it repeatedly in the New Testament. The Spirit of the LORD does this often in Scripture -- 2 Peter chapter 2 practically mirrors the book of Jude. Jeremiah also does this in the details about false prophets. Did you know that Jeremiah 6:9-15 is practically the verbatim of Jeremiah 8:10-12?  Both list these four main characteristics of false prophets:

1.  They are greedy for gain; market exploitation; heart for money (6:13a mirrors 8:10)
2.  They practice falsehood and fraud; ignored The Word of the LORD (6:13b mirrors 8:10b)
3.  They treat fractures as superficial; say 'all is well' when NOT; false peace(6:14 mirrors 8:11)
4.  They are unashamed; never blush at their words or sins; unrepentant (6:14-15 mirrors 8:12)

There is no need to dissect these as they are pretty much self-explanatory. False prophets want money, practice fraud & deceit, give a false sense of peace, and are never ashamed of their sin. Wow! What a blessing we have that the Word of our LORD in the Bible, which is so clear and concise in its Self-Authenticating Nature. And here's what's even more interesting to note: like the false prophets, false teachers in the New Testament and today are doing the same kinds of things. They love money. They are deceiving and fraudulent; literally, "plastic counterfeits."  They spread the lies of a false peace, which appeals to complacency. And they lack deep heart repentance because they aren't sorry for their sin and refuse to blush in shame.  Peter, Jude, and Paul in 1st Timothy, even the Lord Jesus Himself, list these same characteristics of false prophets while confronting the reality of false apostles and false teachers. These biblical lists expose the false prophets; and remind us that they are among the people in a very subtle sphere of operation. And we simply cannot ignore The Word of The Lord God; for He, the Great Shepherd, has much to say about what and WHOM is false; so that The Truth is Always Revealed.  Praise Him.  [TO BE CONTINUED SOON]

 

Copyright 2017 by Thor Knutstad, All Rights Reserved

Show Me Your Day and I Will Show You Your Life

My birthday is in January, so when the new year rolls in, it always feels like an extra blank slate to me because it's a new calendar year and a new age, all rolled into one. 

This year, at the commencement of 2017 and of age 32, I had a sense that I knew what would be a good next step for me in my development...but I haven't been QUITE willing to 'look it in the face' fully and embrace it...because it would require a bit on energy on my part and an intentional change of routine.

It's like with our children, how sometimes we think about what would help them move to the next level academically or physically in sports. It could be, for the homeschooling Classical Conversations mom, pushing a child to become a 'Memory Master' of the content. Or it could be switching dance schools to a harder teacher, or perhaps a more grace-filled one, depending on the needs of that particular child. But we know it will move our child's development to the next level.

Well, when I think about myself, I'm pretty sure that I know what will help move me along to the next level of development, spiritually, emotionally, socially...in so much of who I am as a person.

But I'm a little bit skittish about it, because it's the basic idea of...

 

I'm the kind of person that it's just easy and natural for me to do what seems 'immediate and neccessary' to me or what seems 'nice' in the moment to me. But I'm realizing that I have these things that I value, or I want to value, but I end up only valuing them 'in theory' because I don't intentionally carve out time and energy to develop these values in my life. Because I'm too busy just doing whatever seems immediate, neccessary, and nice.

Let me be more specific, so you know what I'm talking about. They're not huge things that I want to do, so they're easy to forgo.

In 2017, I want to make sure I process my emotions well. I used to be a frequent journal-er, but life as a mom has made it easy for me to push journaling to the side too often. I so believe that the light and life of God come to me when I bring my real emotions to God, my Maker and my Redeemer, and let Him inform me about how to live, how to think, how to feel, how to react. He changes me from the inside out. But it's way too easy to just go through life experiencing emotions but not really processing them.

I'm also coming to realize that the time has come for me to delve into my parenting philosophies again: when I first became a mom, I studied and read about which method I wanted to follow, what I believed would be the best 'path' for our family in how I mothered my girls. And when they were a little older, I knew I didn't understand much about authority and teaching a child to follow a parent's leadership and voice, so I watched my husband, I asked him to help me learn, I read some books...I learned. I'm sensing that in 2017, it's time to learn again. It's too easy for me to just respond to my daughters...and have my interactions with them have pretty much nothing to do with immersing them in the Gospel- the very Good News about what Jesus did and accomplished on the cross and what it means for how we get to live. I want to make sure that I set up boundaries for my girls that lead them to places where they realize that they do, in fact, sin. And when they get to that point, I want to be learning and growing in my ability to point them to the great Rescuer, the one who can wash them clean and accept them because of His performance, not theirs. I want to make sure my parenting is about more than just doing what feels natural or easy fixes in the moment.

And lastly, I happen to know that the way that I think about myself and the way that I interact with other people is just too often a reaction to the insecurities and the shame that resides within me. I don't naturally live believing that what God says about me, in the Bible, is true. In 2017, I'd like to at least make sure that I'm hearing what God says about me, and not just hearing my own insecurities and shame. 

But none of that will ever happen on its own, magically. Of course, it doesn't happen by works alone, either. It's like a mix of making space, making time, and letting God to do the work that He alone can do in me. But on my part, in 2017, the part that I am responsible to embrace and grow in is...

 

What I'm thinking it will look like is just building into my regular routine short snippets of time that I regularly honor: I'm picturing 20-30 minutes of something very practical on a weekly basis to reflect each of these values...so that I don't just 'value them in theory.'

For example, I'll plan out when I will take time to journal, when I will take time to read and think through Paul Tripp's parenting book (14 Gospel Principles That Can Really Change Your Family), when I will spend time in God's Word taking in what He says about me, and when I I will study and think through some books about shame and how it affects how I think and what I do.

I don't think that the kind of discipline that I'm talking about requires a superhuman amount of energy. I think it just requires a little bit of time, but repeated consistently. Something I put on my calendar and choose to honor, week after week.

One of my favorite singer/songwriters, Sara Groves, talks about this concept on a commentary of her song 'On Your Mark,' (which can be found on Spotify...the album is called Floodplain). She talks about a Dorothy Day quote that says:

"Show me your day and I will show you your life."

When I heard that, it resonated with me. And it also scared me a little. Because it's so easy to just float through life thinking that I'm really valuing things, when I'm only valuing them in theory...and my life will end up reflecting that. But in 2017, with the help of discipline, I want to make space in my days for my values, so that they truly are a part of my life.

Like a Child

Our family is just recovering from the stomach bug this weekend. It has been a crazy flurry of staying up with two kids on the couch while they drift in and out of sleep, to being sick and having tons of loads of laundry. Before this weekend I have had a sinus infection I can’t seem to kick, and the girls had colds. AND, in the midst of it all, we have had some rough days trying to teach my 2½ year old to come under authority. So, amid the tissues, tears, tantrums, vomit and snot was one frazzled, impatient momma and some grumpy babes.

I have been here before, where everyone is sick and I feel spread thin (and this is no discredit to my husband because he has been sooo helpful). It isn’t the first time Savanna hasn’t obeyed, and it won’t be the last. However, these are the moments, although normal and reoccurring, that seem to catch me off guard in terms of how fast they can bring out the ugly in me and steal my joy.

I remember one day in particular last week where it seemed like my daughter threw a tantrum almost every time she didn’t get her way, which, as you can imagine, was a lot. I felt like the whole day I was a referee breaking up little fights over toys and doling out verbal warnings, time outs and spankings. Midway through the day we took a break for lunch. I was hoping food would improve all of our moods at that point. We ate in quiet except for worship music playing in the background. Savanna finished first and asked if she could get down and dance to the music. She LOVES music. I said yes, and then she asked if I could play her favorite song which right now is “What a Beautiful Name it is” by Hillsong. I turned it on for her and returned to the dining room table with Alathea. As I sat there, I looked and saw her twirling around with her arms up, belting out the words to the song. My heart melted.

In that moment, as I watched her and listened to the words of the song, it was as if a light bulb went on in my head. “Oh! Jesus.” I thought. I realized that although I pleaded for grace and mercy all day and all week long, I hadn’t made any time for my heart to be refreshed. I felt his invitation to come before Him. I may not get huge amounts of time for extended prayer and worship, but what is the posture of my heart toward Him during the day? Am I open to His leadership, perspective and voice?

Being a mom and being invested in the growth of my children feels like it is teaching me more than it is them sometimes. I learn so much from their little lives. For example, sometimes I act as if God showing up in my life or addressing certain things is because He is trying to rain on my parade rather than because He too is invested in how I grow. In comparison to God, I will always be as a child. I need to come under His authority as I train my girls to come under mine. I can trust that the way He leads is perfect, even when He opposes what I want, as I too am training Savanna to obey even when she doesn’t get what she wants 24/7. When I want her to hold my hand while crossing the street, I am not trying to ruin her life or limit her freedom but keep her safe. How often do I view my limits as a curse rather than a blessing? What are some areas that God is trying to lead me in that I may be acting like a tantruming toddler?

I am sure there are ways that I act like a “brute beast” (Psalm 73:22) before Him in my lack of understanding, yet He never ceases to delight over me. That moment after lunch while watching my daughter dance carefree, my heart was filled with love and joy. I thanked God for invading my day and week when I had forgotten to seek Him and for His gentle training of me. How kind He is. The rest of our day still had its moments, and the rest of the week we spent recovering only to get sick again, but I felt more joy in caring for my family and grace for their learning as I remembered that I am learning too.

A Timely Tip from the TV

She thought she was pretty funny.

Our next door neighbor called us a couple of weekends ago--that frigid, nasty, and snowy Saturday we had in mid-January. She said she was calling to check on us. The TV news anchor had just suggested that viewers everywhere reach out to their elderly friends and family members to make sure they were safe and warm. Really?

I know I had a relatively big birthday this past year, but elderly? I’m not sure I’m ready to think of me or us in those terms just yet.  Besides, I grew up with my neighbor…we are practically the same age! It was all for fun, and we had a good laugh at ourselves, crotchety old codgers that we are becoming.

Although my friend was just joking around with us, her call gave me pause. After a few minutes of consideration, I made a few genuine calls myself. Were the older folks I care about okay? Were they safe and warm, plowed out and well provisioned? Was there anything they needed me to do for them, to go out and buy for them? It was a very good idea to check. That news guy got it right for a change.

I read a quote a while back that has stuck in my head. “Never lose sight of the fact that old age needs so little but needs that little so much,” Margaret Wilbur wisely observed. I think she’s on to something not so little. It’s huge, in fact. And not just for winter snow days.

As our elderly, truly elderly, loved ones age, their world shrinks and closes in on them dramatically. Their focus turns inward and ease and comfort rule the day. They eat less, notice less, socialize less, work less, and, yes, basically need less. Much less. A TV with a remote, some microwave meals in the freezer, a cranked up electric heater, a couple of tubes of BENGAY, an occasional phone call, a case or two of vanilla Ensure, and a boatload of pills—they are good to go.  Please don’t think me flippant. I have observed this, with a few variations, too often not to mark the inevitable pattern. Some of this is out of necessity, not being able to physically and/or mentally handle the challenges and rigors of the day-to-day. Some of it may even be a financial issue. Some of it is simply the inevitable aging process.

But, for whatever reason, gone are squeaky clean windows, well-manicured lawns, Clorox whites flapping on the line, canned peaches lining the shelf, dinners at Kentucky Fried Chicken, driving the camper to Florida to winter, Christmas cards, routine visits to ShopRite with the envelope brimming with coupons, and, sadly, even the weekly and dearly missed church services. The old is gone, the new has come. Things once sacred and uncompromising and obligatory are now optional and even considered unnecessary. These things no longer fall into the category of “needs.” A variety of food? An uncluttered living space? More than one change of clean clothing? A weekly shower? A bad credit report? Who cares?

While our loved one’s list of perceived “needs” may be shorter, those needs are quite costly for us, the caregivers or the concerned friends. Just keeping track of doctor visits and prescription drugs can be a full- time job. And then there is laundry, yard work, grocery shopping, housework, mail, personal hygiene, and bill paying…things now on the “noncompulsory” list for our older folks, things too difficult or painful or unimportant for them to deal with. But how compulsory for us! How big that “little” may become for those who seek to help.

Do you have a real elderly neighbor or friend? Do you know of a senior saint here at LFA that has no family to support him or her? Do you have an aging mom or dad or grandma or grandpa? Do you have a friend who is caring for someone dear? Max Lucado, in Grace for the Moment, Volume II, wrote something pertinent to this discussion. Have a look.

What is the sign of the saved? Their scholarship? Their willingness to go to foreign lands? Their ability to amass an audience and preach? Their skillful pens and hope-filled volumes? Their great miracles? No.

The sign of the saved is their love for the least.

Those put on the right hand of God will be those who gave food to the hungry, drink to the thirsty, warmth to the lonely, clothing to the naked, comfort to the sick and friendship to the imprisoned.

Did you note how simple the works are? Jesus doesn’t say, “I was sick and you healed me…I was in prison and you liberated me…I was lonely and you built a retirement home for me.” He doesn’t say, “I was thirsty and you gave me spiritual counsel.”

No fanfare. No hoopla. No media coverage. Just good people doing good things.

I like that. It helps me know what I need to do.

Because it seems to me, then, that we as God’s people most effectively demonstrate just who we are, followers and lovers of King Jesus, by caring for and serving some of the “least,” in this case, His precious elderly. And we can accomplish that by doing the little things that they need so very much in their tiny worlds, even if it inconveniences us or consumes our time. We can also, I think, please the King when we encourage and/or assist a full-time caregiver, some of the most exhausted and loneliest people around.

Jesus said that whatever we do for the ones He called the “least,” we are actually doing it to Him. Can you even begin to imagine what that means, what that would look like, what that would cost? Talk about doing a good job! Talk about being faithful and intentional and diligent! Talk about patience, kindness, gentleness, and love! If that’s not a compelling reason for purposefully and whole-heartedly helping a little old lady or gentleman, then I don’t know what is!

So, call somebody the Spirit brings to mind today. He’s got someone, I’m sure. Grab a few groceries for him the next time you’re out. Bake some cookies. Rake some leaves for her. Get the mail. Visit. Offer a ride to the bank. Sit for a couple of hours with an elderly mama so her harried daughter can get her hair cut or have a coffee.  At the very least, call your mother! But don’t say it’s because she’s old—just a warning.

It’s little things. But they are things that mean so very much.  To your elderly neighbor and to King Jesus.

Yep, that newsman was right on target. So was my sweet neighbor.

Who knew?

This Will Have to Do

This Will Have To Do does not equal God’s Best For Us

It is part of our human nature to make assessments and determine what we think is best for us in a given moment.

The other morning as I was getting ready to go to work in the morning, I realized I had too many things in my hands. The day was cloudy, and it was raining very lightly. I placed several items inside the car, started the engine and before getting into the car I noticed the trash can needed to be brought in from the curbside. Since I did not want my glasses to get wet, I proceeded to take them off and placed them on top of the car. I went out of the garage, took care of the trash can and came back into the car—completely forgetting that I had placed the glasses on top of it. I drove out of our drive way and as soon as I approached the intersection, I hear a noise that was familiar, but I dismissed it thinking it was a twig caught underneath the car. Then on a second thought, I suddenly remembered that my glasses were on top of the car! I pulled over, and I was so thankful to find my glasses caught in the spoiler in the back of the car. I thought in retrospect what a stupid choice that had been. What would guarantee that I would remember something that was not a routine for my brain to quickly be prompted about again? 

Allow me to take you back to the exact moment when I took off my glasses and placed them on top of the car. I remember thinking for a split second, “This is not a good idea, but it will have to do.” Thankfully the outcome was not a loss of my glasses or the destruction thereof.

How many times in real life do we know what God desires for us to do, in order to choose life on his terms, but we tell ourselves I have a different idea of how to make this work and “this will have to do”? Have you been there? I have. And in some cases the consequences were less than desirable. I can think of occasions in my parenting where, in the midst of being angry at my daughter, I would recognize the option to slow down and think before speaking—which the Holy Spirit would offer to me in the moment. But what would I do? Regretfully, I would go right ahead and plow her with my words, and then pick up the pieces. Or the time when I was single and I refused to heed to the message God was giving me through several people about ending a relationship I was involved in. Convinced of how helpful that relationship would be in addressing some relational insecurities, I told myself again, “This will have to do.” Later on I had to deal with some painful consequences, including the pain I caused others in the process.

There is no question in my mind now that sin runs really deep at the point where we, very aware of our own destructive and proud choices, tell ourselves, “This will have to do.” If there is one strong deception sin brings with it all the time, it is the lie that the reward is worth the price even if it kills us in the process.

Here is were we go dead wrong. We talk ourselves into believing that what we deem sufficient or good at the moment is better than the life God offers us graciously. In the Bible, King Solomon affirmed it this way: “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” (Proverbs 14:12).

So the next time the message plays in your head, “This will have to do,” I encourage you to stop, think and question that message. Then consider this better message pronounced by God: 

 

“Come, everyone who thirsts,

    come to the waters;

and he who has no money,

    come, buy and eat!

Come, buy wine and milk

    without money and without price.

 Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread,

    and your labor for that which does not satisfy?

Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good,

    and delight yourselves in rich food.

 Incline your ear, and come to me;

    hear, that your soul may live;…”  —-(Isaiah 55)

 

 

 

The Art of Hearing

Here is how it unfolded today:

  •       I am kindly reminded I have a blog due for LFA tomorrow.
  •      A great recommendation from my best friend comes my way: How about you do it on “The Art of Hearing,” and I respond, “YES! That’s great!”
  •       I then begin to think about that word HEARING, as I usually do when it’s blog time. Trying to see a neat acronym or some such thing that will draw the reader in!
  •       Well, the coolest thing hit me: HEARING, in the verbal form, is accomplished through the EAR! The word is embedded into the middle of the word HEARING! Isn’t that interesting? Somebody do a word study and let me know if there’s any significance to that.

Anyhow, onto the blog for the week:) “The Art of Hearing”

I am going to do my best to practice the art of communicating well. And boy did it take practice.  The other piece is the Art of Hearing, the one that this blog will be focused on today.

I find that one of the biggest mistakes we make when it comes to hearing someone else, is the practice of conjuring up a whole litany of defense statements/excuses to come back at the person talking to us in order to get the victory in the “courtroom,” especially in conflict situations. Most of us do not like to be criticized due to the fact that we think we rarely do anything wrong! Therefore, it would not be our fault, which would avoid having to say, “I’m sorry for these things”, plus it requires the offender to take responsibility for their actions. It doesn’t stop there for people who follow Jesus. Also included in the Confession (I’m sorry for...) is repentance, which means turning away from that very thing that hurt the other person. It is a beautiful process of reconciliation that God has created for us to walk through when hurts arise. But, none of this can occur without learning how to really, I mean REALLY, listen to the other person.

A way to gauge how well you listen to someone else is to try this exercise. It’s called “Parrot Talk”. Here is how the exercise goes:

  1. There will be the speaker (the one who has been offended)
  2. There also is the listener (or the hearer for the sake of this blog)!
  3. The speaker will follow this pattern: I feel ________________________ because you did not listen to what I was really saying about the issue I’m having with my boss (a feeling word is one word, ie- happy, sad, angry, etc).
  4. The listener will then follow this pattern: I hear you saying that you feel __________________because I did not listen to what you were really saying about the issue you are having with your boss. Is that right?
  5. The speaker can then say, “Yes. That is what I am saying.”
  6. Sometimes, most times for that matter, I have worked with couples that it doesn’t go this smoothly. Most people, unless they have intentionally worked on the art of hearing, do not hear others well. Listen for people’s feeling. Listen to what they are saying to you, instead of creating immature arguments so you do not look so bad. All of us want to be heard. And when you know the other person has really heard you, is mature enough to take the responsibility that belongs to them, and work on the issue together, that is one of the basic building blocks of developing relationship.

There are times when I know I am not going to be a good listener when someone asks me to talk. It is my responsibility to set a boundary by letting them know that I am very interested in what they want to talk about, but now is not a good time due to my limitations (time, tired, etc.). At the same time, it is also my responsibility to give them some options of when I would be available to discuss things. In that, I have sent the message that I care. So in this case, it would be very important that the person, other than myself, be a good listener. That way they do not leave our interaction feeling blown off, since I did communicate how important they were, as well as the content they wanted to discuss.

I would encourage you all to check out these verses that have impacted my walk with Jesus is learning the Art of Hearing.

James 1:19 ESV “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;”

 Proverbs 12:15 ESV “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.”

 Proverbs 18:13 ESV “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.”

Proverbs 19:27 ESV “Cease to hear instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge.”

 Proverbs 5:1-23 ESV “My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge. For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps follow the path to Sheol; ...”

Proverbs 18:2 ESV “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.”

Be blessed friends and thanks for reading! 

Why Do We Pray?

As we begin a New Year, our thoughts can easily turn to the “essentials” of life. What are some realities I would like to regain this year? Perhaps you are thinking better stewardship of finances, healthy habits, relationships, personal growth, and the list can go on. Whether prayer is or is not on your list, I want to encourage you to read David Powlison’s blog. In this blog, Powlison explores what makes prayer drift from our lives, how do we communicate with God, and why do we need to pray in the first place. I found his insights refreshing and inspiring. Click here to read the full blog.

May God give you grace to help you enrich your communication and dependency on Him!

The Legacy of Pop

On December 31, 2016, New Year’s Eve, my mom’s dad, my beloved grandfather, went to be with the Lord. We had just visited him a few days before around Christmas, and he greeted me with a warm joyful smile and said, “I’ve been waiting for you to get here, Thor.” His aged frame was thinner and his hair was almost completely gone. His frail body was about to release his spirit to the Lord. There was a sense of peace and of joy. His full life was about to enter real fullness. He was on the doorstep of Heaven’s eternity. He died on New Year’s Eve.

Most of my personality traits come from my parents. My dad was a hard worker and loved people. He had a caring spirit for others and readily gave. My mom, besides raising us and teaching us the Scriptures (my mom made us memorize verses and passages), was a disciple and counselor of many women. She led many studies, prayed for many, and I watched our home and her time as a revolving door of discipleship.

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My mom’s dad, my grandfather, AKA Pop, lived a few miles from us, with my grandmother. This was a privileged heritage (for me) to have my grandparents for 45 years. My grandmother, AKA Gram, just had her 87th birthday right after Pop passed. We spent a lot of time with them when I was growing up. Pop was a house painter, a carpenter, and an artist. In fact, he is (was) a world champion duck decoy carver. His decoys, which look very real, are considered by some to be some of the best ever. Every Christmas, Pop would take his son, his daughters, and his grandchildren, to the shelved wall and say, “Choose.” Sometimes he would pick one for you. Often, you just chose. These ducks were 120-150 hour labors of love. He gave out of what he did best. Tears would flow because no one could match his decoy gifts. They were valuable but had no price. They were in essence, priceless. This steady man who painted, worked with wood and carved like a genius, also hunted and fished. I won’t tell you how many times I fell in the spillway in the old Milford, Delaware, only to have Pop pull me out laughing. He wasn’t mad. He just laughed and would take me home to get changed. Then we would go right back out. My grandfather was a slow man. He was steadfast. He gave gifts of time and of wood, painted wood that has a beauty that is completely unparalleled and unmatched. You knew he loved you. I knew he loved me- and it was just because I was his first grandchild.

Pop’s life wasn’t without battles. He served in World War II as a medic in Normandy and throughout Europe. He battled alcohol the first half of his life, only to repent of this with some major pressure from Gram. I don’t recall him ever drinking. I see him in his chair and at his workshop desk, carving and etching and burning and painting under a bright light those decoys, those beloved priceless masterpieces. And I suspect that The Great Carpenter, our Savior and Lord, Christ Jesus, has already showed Pop a thing or two and made his work even better than here on earth.

In Memory of Roland Downes (1922-2016)

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I Need MORE Christmas!!!

If there's anything I need to hear after the Christmas season this year, it's MORE of the Christmas season.

I'm not talking about hearing more requests for every single toy under the sun from my children, or more 'Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,' or more hilarious quotes from Elf, as much as I enjoy (some of) that stuff during December. OHHH NO! Along with the rest of America, I'm so over that version of Christmas now that it's January.

But what I desperately do need to hear, deep in my weary soul, is more of the message of Christmas as I move back into my regular post-holidays routine: Immanuel, God With Us. 

I desperately need to hear 'God With Us' as I switch back into the daily grind of my first year of homeschooling my two girls.

I desperately need to hear 'God With Us' as I look around the mess of a house that just went through Christmas and a trip to West Virginia, and I know the hours and effort it will take to get it all back to normal.

I desperately need to hear 'God With Us' when my natural tendency is to let my patience run thin with my children.

I desperately need to hear 'God With Us' when there are things in our marriage that I'd rather just ignore, but my husband and I need to talk out.

I desperately need to hear 'God With Us' when I don't understand what's going on inside of me, and I feel overwhelmed by my emotions.

I read a devotional thought from Paul Tripp a week or so ago that resonated with my need to know that Immanuel, God With Us, is still with MEtoday, in the middle of the everyday things that threaten to overwhelm me:

“Jesus is named Emmanuel, not just because he came to earth once, but because he makes you the place where he dwells every day. This means he is present and active in all the mundane moments of your daily life.

In these small moments, he is delivering every redemptive promise he has made to you. In these unremarkable moments, he is working to rescue you from you and transform you into his likeness.

By sovereign grace, your Lord will place you in ten thousand little moments that are designed to take you beyond your character, wisdom and grace so that you’ll seek the help and hope that can only be found in him. In a lifelong process of change, he is undoing you and rebuilding you again - exactly what each one of us needs!”

— http://www.paultripp.com/wednesdays-word/posts/new-year-new-you

I love that thought, that the things that overwhelm me, are not necessarily my fault, or something that I should change and fix, but I can, instead, view them as graces from Immanuel, God With Us. He is intentionally and graciously bringing me to points where I am "beyond my character, wisdom and grace"...so that I look outside of ME...to HIM.

So that's what I really need to hear after the rush of the holiday season: MORE of Christmas. 

Happy New Year

Let me be the first to wish you a happy New Year a little early. What are your plans to celebrate? Hanging out well into the night with friends? Sitting at home watching the ball drop? Pulling the blinds and turning in early like usual? I used to hang out late with friends and usually go to Philadelphia for dinner and fireworks. Now, New Year’s celebration involves an early evening dance party in the kitchen with my husband and girls and normal bedtimes. Though different vibes, both experiences have been great. Although plans change every year, the one thing that stays the same is my time of reflection. As a deeply feeling, introspective person, that time of reflecting over the past year is like a holiday in itself for me. So, here is some of my year in review and what I‘ve learned. You’re welcome.

For starters, the word I would use to describe my experience of 2016 is BIG. This was a big year. It was riddled with experiences that packed a punch. Some were absolutely thrilling while others were devastating. Ah life! You crazy rollercoaster, you. Here are some of the joys and challenges of 2016:

  1.    In May we took our first family road trip for Joel’s grandfather’s funeral. We received the    news of his funeral and left on the same day. While my husband was at work, I packed for    all four of us, rented a car, booked a hotel and then we picked him up and drove all night      to Kentucky. Still can’t believe we did that, but we are so glad we did.
  2.    Joel started a new job as a second grade bilingual teacher. Huge answer to prayer!           
  3.    As a teacher, Joel was off this summer for the first time since we have been married. It was a great time of rest and restoration for our family. We had extended time to slow down, breathe and enjoy.
  4.    We took our first ever family vacation to the Poconos with my in-laws. The girls had a blast playing with cousins and looking at deer that would cross in front of the cabin every day. So fun!
  5.    I received training to start my doula business. It was so freeing for me to step out after all this time and take a risk to try something new.

 

Challenges

  1.     We have walked through two major health crises for my husband, including a recent 10-day hospital stay in October.
  2.     We had to improvise for Alathea’s first birthday celebration because not only were both girls sick but Savanna had pneumonia. It was sad to see my two year old so sick and to feel bad that Alathea didn’t really get a party.
  3.     We were not strangers to financial hardship.
  4.     After four years at my church, I’m still trying to figure out where I fit and how to use my gifts. Sometimes I feel like a kid on their first day of kindergarten. Haha.

    Of course, this is not a comprehensive list but just some of the highlights. You may be thinking, “That’s nice, but so what?”

This process of writing allows me to take my honesty before the Lord to a new level. It’s one thing to have experienced something wonderful or something hard, but it is another thing to see it on paper. As I relive the “Thank you God!” moments and the “What the heck?!” moments, my heart feels freer than if I allow years and experiences to roll by without slowing down to capture them and assess my heart. I ask myself questions like, “Why was I so happy about that?” or “What was I relying on in that situation that made it extra hard?” As I do that and process the year with fresh eyes, something wonderful always happens; I get new perspective. In retrospect I am able to see God’s work in my life in ways that I was unable to in the moment. God becomes great, glorious, good and gracious again, putting the rest of my world in its proper place. So I move forward looking backward. I don’t want to forget God’s faithfulness, lessons learned or memories made. If God is for me and God is with me, then it will all make a great story someday, and I am looking forward to looking back on it again. 

Some Light Reading

These are some divided times.  If the aftermath of the recent election is any indication, tensions are not looking to ease any time soon. Racial tension, religious strife around the world, fake news, and angry mobs seem to dominate the headlines.  Then there are the heart-breaking images out of Aleppo, the assassination of a Russian ambassador, and a terror attack in Berlin.  

Just about the time when no one could blame you for losing hope, enter Christmas - a beautiful time of peace and celebration among the chaos and darkness of the world in which we live.  And it’s not only a time of joy for Christians.  It seems the rest of the world is ready for some light as well.  Did you happen to catch the worship song that was performed on network television’s Saturday Night Live this week? It wasn’t a joke or the mockery you’d expect from SNL; it was a prayerful, worshipful and powerful performance by the very well-respected musician, Chance the Rapper. It celebrated Jesus and Christmas, and the audience couldn’t get enough.  Or did you happen to see the news article about the Muslim businessman in Iran who erected the largest Christmas tree in Baghdad, to show solidarity with persecuted Christians?  It is easy for us to forget that a light in the darkness is visible to everyone, not just the ones who acknowledge its source.  

Let me say it again.  Christmas is a moment of beauty in a world of chaos.  I’m not necessarily talking about our own personal chaos, like busy schedules around the holidays, but real chaos, like the things I mentioned earlier.  This is a call to look beyond ourselves, our own agendas, our own messes, like looking above the immediate haze and seeing the bigger picture.  The world is ready for light and beauty and peace and rest.  The problem is that it is just as easy for us to bring more darkness, more division, more unrest.  As Christians, we often feel like we are on the defensive, like our liberties are being attacked and we need to fight for every inch.  Here’s the thing - Jesus was born into some pretty hostile territory, with a ruler that wanted him dead and a population that didn’t think it needed him.  But his message was to love your enemies.  The light that we can bring is love.  We can love the homeless, the drug addicts, the morally corrupt, the weak, the vulnerable, people who believe differently than we do, the poor in spirit, the poor in wallet, the broken, the oppressed.  The world is looking for light this Christmas, and they should see it reflecting off of us.

What better way to spend the holiday than truly loving the people around you.  Christmas is a time of beauty in an otherwise dark world, and we should be intentional in celebrating it well.  

Immanuel…Not Just a Christmas Story

I’m snuggled under the covers in an unfamiliar bed. I yawn and roll over to look out the window. It’s very early morning, and I am grateful I was able to finally sleep. I smile as I listen to Kenny’s soft snoring beside me; he, too, needed some good rest. A sharp crack of thunder shakes the somewhat shoddy structure of the motel we are in, and I close my eyes, delighting in its slow rumble across the valley. Rain! Thank you, Good Father. You are merciful.

In my mind, I hear the whisper, “Immanuel.” Yes, that’s it exactly. God is with us!  And He was with us yesterday and the day before that too. We couldn’t be more grateful.

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It was almost time for the Eagles game on Monday Night Football. Kenny was restlessly reading one of his Louie L’Amour books by the fire, anxious for the game to begin; I was madly writing, trying to finish a blog for my website before settling in to watch Philadelphia battle Green Bay with him. I was still in my pajamas. I had been at my computer all day, loving the relaxation and inspiration I always find at our lovely timeshare in the Great Smoky Mountains. We were scheduled to be here for two whole weeks, a focused writing and regrouping escape from our hectic pace. Unbelievable! I was going to get a lot written! Already I felt refreshed and renewed. The beauty of the hazy mountains covered with the fading colors of fall always works, capturing my soul and filling me with hope and peace, refocusing me on the Creator.

Earlier in the evening, I had peeked out the window of our third-floor log villa. It was smoky outside; it had been all day. Sadly, there were wild fires near a favorite hiking spot, Chimney Tops, up in the beloved National Park. We had received a text notification about them around three in the afternoon, informing us that the management was monitoring the situation. What surprised me, though, as I peered into the hazy twilight, was the steady, bumper-to-bumper stream of glaring red tail lights that snaked down the winding main road of Westgate Resort, spilling out onto and jamming up the shady parkway connecting Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge. Where was everybody going…and why? Kenny thought that possibly folks were needlessly panicking because of the smoke and the hurricane-like winds that had blown in an hour or so earlier. Besides, the Eagles were coming on at 8:30. We went about our business until it was time to flip on the TV for kickoff.

The electricity blinked, shuddered, and failed. Only the weak flicker of my Cheerful Giver candle offered us any light at all; we were blanketed in an eerie blackness. Annoyed that we were going to miss the game, Kenny paced around the cozy living area. Amused, I settled on the couch with my fuzzy Eagle’s blanket. Ten minutes passed and Kenny’s phone buzzed. It was a text from Westgate. We were to evacuate. They had arranged accommodations outside of Gatlinburg. Oh, no. Really?

In the darkness, we stumbled around looking for what to take. I hurriedly dressed and fumbled along the bathroom sink and tub for my toiletries. Thinking this was just a precautionary measure and we would return the next day, we stuffed one change of clothes, our pajamas, and a few undergarments into our smaller carry-on suitcase. Kenny threw our pills and his phone cord into our snack basket, and I picked up my computer and my iPad. We were more puzzled than worried. I glanced out the window to find a deserted parking lot below. Had everyone received this text earlier? Why were we seemingly the only ones still here? I decided to go back into the bedroom and grab what I could when Kenny opened the front door to take a load down and get a flashlight from the car so we could actually see what we were doing.

His exclamation chilled me to the bone. “Oh, MY!” he fairly screamed. “Woody, you’ve got to see this. We’ve got to go NOW!” I rushed to the front porch. The entire mountain in front of us was ablaze. Like molten lava spewing from the boiling earth’s core, the flames and smoldering underbrush seemed to be pouring, persistent and unstoppable, down the hillside toward us. The sky glowed with an unfamiliar and angry orange-red, and we could see more fire exploding on both sides of our resort. The wind was relentless, tossing burning embers and sparks ruthlessly through the drought-parched landscape. We blew out the candle—ironically worried about starting a fire—and fled down the longest three flights of stairs ever constructed. Tossing our meager possessions in the backseat, Kenny kicked the car, a Ford Escape (more irony), into reverse and roared backward out onto the empty driveway.

Smoke smothered the car, and we couldn’t see a foot in front of us. From memory, Kenny plowed through the ash-filled cloud, hoping to be on blacktop, praying he would know when to turn, when to slow. A howling blast of 80 mile-an-hour wind cleared the roadway as we barreled through the abandoned security gate; the resort was a ghost town. Again, we wondered how everyone else had known to leave earlier. We hadn’t spent more than ten minutes getting out of our villa. There wasn’t anybody around. Quite suddenly, another car, then another, sped up behind us, their headlights bouncing and useless in the smoggy night. Okay. Somebody else just got the message. Their presence oddly comforted me. We weren’t alone here.

As we veered around the corner to Westgate’s exit, burning shrubs by the roadside fell across the driveway. Kenny paused only an instant then floored it. We raced through the flames, instantly engulfed in sooty smoke and searing heat. Safely out to the parkway, we could see the road to Gatlinburg was impassable, the trees and wires burning on both sides of the dual roadway. A frightened fireman frantically waved us to the right, down the one way side of the parkway toward Pigeon Forge--going the wrong way.  For several glorious minutes, we sped through the flying embers riding the gusty winds and bursting into flames around us. We plunged over and around blazing branches and whole smoldering trees that had crashed onto the desolate highway. I tried to breathe a sigh of relief, but my lungs were beginning to ache from the pervasive smoke filling the air. Kenny checked the Eagle’s score. I shook my head in disbelief. We prayed. Help us, Dear Father. Oh, we need you.

All at once, screeching around a sharp curve, our hearts sank. Dozens of ash-covered cars cluttered the winding road, their bright red tail lights signaling unwelcome messages of thwarted escape, of fear and of frustration. Why were we all stopped? What should we do now? We looked around to assess our already dismal situation. It was getting worse by the moment. Kenny checked the scores again. It was pretty dismal for the Eagles, too. The fires burning on both sides of us were encroaching with no penalty flags. Cars had moved in behind us, encroaching too; we were literally trapped. The only movement of vehicles over the next several minutes happened when drivers sought to maneuver closer together away from the steady onslaught of flames. Kenny said he felt we were in a crockpot that was very slowly heating up. The air was thick and we were feeling the heat. We prayed some more. We calmed each other with verses, long-known and loved. We sang old hymns. Kenny checked the score. Something about that calmed me too. In spite of our grim situation, the rest of the world was going on as usual. Kenny didn’t seem to be worried. He reached over and held my hand. Maybe things weren’t as desperate as they seemed to me.

Up until then, I think we were operating purely on instinct. We were adrenaline-driven to “flight,” set on automatic pilot. Every action had been rushed. Everything just happened. But sitting still in our little car, stuck in that long line of evacuees, we had time to really think. We had nothing else to do. The longer we sat, the closer the fires came. We could see and hear the violent wind fanning the flames toward us. And the fire marched on, devouring anything in its destructive path. I remembered marveling at how incredibly beautiful it all was. Then we prayed some more, realizing that flames now were within 3-5 feet of our car on both sides. They didn’t seem so lovely to me then.

Tentatively I whispered, “Do you think we should call the kids?” Kenny knew what I was really asking him. He nodded. “Eileen Beth, I don’t think we are going to get out of this.” We dialed Tracy, our oldest child, our only daughter, who lives far away in Idaho. Miraculously, we had cell service. Even more miraculously, I was able to steady my shaking fingers and remember how to make a call. I hadn’t realized up until then how nervous I really was; the casual and calm atmosphere that flooded our car belied the fears raging inside of me. But did they? Yes, there was a war going on, but peace and hope were definitely winning out. We smiled thinking that no matter how this would end, we were together and we would be fine. No, if we were to die, we would be even better than fine; we’d be fantastic! We’d be with JESUS!

It was precious to have this truth to hold on to. It was also precious to talk to Tracy and pretty much say goodbye. We explained our grim situation and asked her to call her two brothers in case we didn’t have a chance. We asked them all to pray for rescue and for rain. We hung up, expressing our deep love for our family. We agreed that God had blessed us incredibly and that we were so thankful for our love and life together. We prayed ourselves. Thank you for Your peace that passes all understanding, Father. Please rescue us; we know You can. Please send rain. But Your will be done. We trust You. We know You are near.

When we looked up, Kenny shook his head incredulously. “The wind has changed!” As we watched, the flames that had been moments away from eagerly lapping at our tires—just stalled. The threatening gusts were now pushing the fire away from us. No, that’s wrong. It wasn’t the gusts that did that. It very clearly was GOD, Lord over the wind. HE pushed the fire away from us.  And, as if that weren’t enough, the smoke cleared enough that we noticed (He showed us!) a pull-off/parking area alongside of us that we had not seen before. We nosed out of our place in line and were able to drive more than 200 feet forward; we were out of immediate danger. The wind continued blocking the advance of the fire. Those cars behind us also moved in to the pull-off in relief. Amazed and grateful, we realized that flames no longer surrounded us. The ridge to our left had already burned and we were buffered by another vehicle; on our right side, fire was raging on the other road, a good distance from us. Peace filled our hearts. God was answering the fervent prayers of our children and grandchildren who, we found out later, had specifically prayed about the wind and for a way of escape to open up. We felt like we were in a protective bubble, the eye of the storm, the hollow of His hand. You’re a good, good Father! You are right here with us, aren’t You?

As we waited, I tried to call our sons, KJ and Greg. I couldn’t get the phone to do what I wanted. I was shaky and my eyes burned. Soon, texts and calls from our kids, words of love and encouragement, prayers for our rescue, began to pour in. How precious! They all knew. I thought about each one with sheer delight and prayed for them to love Jesus. A firefighter appeared, walking toward us from the blocked roadway in front of us. We had noticed the revolving lights from emergency vehicles dancing on the trees far ahead of us and assumed that something had happened up there to trigger the blockade. Kenny rolled down the window, choking in smoke, and asked the young man what was going on. He told us of a car on fire, downed wires, and falling trees. Emergency workers were frantically working to get us all through safely. We watched him walk back to the inferno behind us and tears welled up in our eyes. We couldn’t wait to get out of the fire and save our lives; he was walking bravely into the fire and risking his. Humbling. We prayed for him; we prayed for all of them. True heroes.

And then we were moving. Three firetrucks edged by us on the rocky shoulder. The dam was breached. One by one, with incredible courtesy, the line of cars slid forward, soberly passing the blackened shell of a car that had been pushed aside by the rescue workers so the rest of us could squeeze by. Like a flighty thoroughbred out of the gate, we fairly flew down the parkway, the road empty before us. We marveled how quickly those ahead of us had disappeared into the smoky distance.  But we were not out of the woods yet…literally. At each twist and turn of the exit route, flames leapt out at us from the burning shrubs and trees that lined the road. Fiery branches fell around us.  Smoke slowed us. It was raining embers, ash and soot. Downed trees still burning toppled in front of us and we drove right through the flames. Brush caught under our car, and we were dragging it along our escape path, hoping and praying it wasn’t burning. We were too afraid to stop and see.

Pigeon Forge came into view, and I was giddy with relief and gratitude. We pulled over to remove the debris and call our family. It started to rain!

The fire hadn’t gotten this far, though the hills on the edge of town glowed the orange-red warning of impending doom. We had traveled about 4 miles to get here from Westgate. It had taken us nearly an hour, the longest and most stressful hour I had experienced in a very long time. I think we were both crying.  I know we were rejoicing in our Savior. And so were our kids. We KNOW He rescued us--again. He was with us every single minute. Thank you, Mighty and Merciful Father!

His name is Immanuel, God with us. His Presence is a present we get to enjoy every single day. He’s not just for Christmas. He’s not just for life-threatening wildfires. He’s for right now.

 Aren’t you grateful too?

What Do You Need The Most Today?

Have you ever wondered what is it that you need the most? This is a question we can all answer differently each new day. Sometimes I think what I need the most is comfort, peace, rest, fulfillment, good health, friends, respect, a good laugh, affirmation, space, self-control, freedom, God’s presence, His Word, or even clarity of mind. What would your own list look like?

Recently I was reading the 130th chapter of the book of Psalms. In this Psalm, I was reminded of some key realities we constantly need: God’s attentiveness to us, forgiveness, steadfast love and redemption.

Can you see the importance each one of these have? As a created, fragile being, I need the attentiveness of my Creator who is able to address my deepest concerns and needs. As a broken human being who is prone to choose life outside of God and wrongly impact other people through my choices or responses, I need forgiveness that restores me to God and others. As a dependent creature who looks for significance, acceptance and purpose, I need the steadfast love that only God can offer me. And as a person whose default mode is to be self-focused, self-guided and self-fulfilled, I need a redeemer. All these realities make the more sense when I recognized that my current address is a world that is broken and decaying (Romans 8:21).

Furthermore, how vulnerable do we become when we don’t experience these realities in God? If I relinquish God’s attentiveness to me, His forgiveness, His steadfast love and His redemption, I am quickly prone to look for substitutes that follow my own interpretation, strategies and imaginations.

So for today, may God help us interact with his attentiveness to us; may God help us live honestly before Him and others so we can practice confession and the need to ask for forgiveness; may God help us be rooted in His steadfast love so we can see everything through the unfailing, present and merciful love of God; and may God help us to bring our brokenness to Him and collaborate with His transformative work in our lives.

“I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits,

    and in his word I put my hope.” (Psalm 130:5)

God Loves Joan

Today I had a life-changing experience. I was sitting in the waiting room, waiting for my 9:15am pain management doctor appointment. Sitting all around me were people that have developed painful disorders such as myself. Others have experienced traumatic accidents that have changed their lives, possibly forever. And others unfortunately are not there for health reasons but to get their next drug fix. That is the reality of Pain Management offices.

As I sat there waiting, a woman came in. She was very disfigured, hunched over at about 4 1/2 feet tall, with eyes pointing outward and not straight as to see well. Her hands were very gnarled. Her frame was emaciated, with legs the size of my arms. Her nails were longer and filled with dirt underneath. She was dressed in a nice pink and gray hoodie with a matching pink hair tie. She writhed in pain as she sat down across from me about 10 feet away. You could see the shame she carried with her. People were staring. You could almost here them thinking, “Who is that?” or even, “What is that?”

Watching her from across the room, I began to pray for her. She was carrying a heavy load, several bags and her purse. It was obvious the weight of the bags were increasing her pain levels, but I did not feel led by the Holy Spirit to move toward her. I thought I needed to instruct her about the bags she was carrying in order to decrease her pain. But what gave me the right to invade her world and immediately think I have to teach her something because I know and she doesn’t? Who am I to jump to that conclusion? As I prayed from a distance, God began to let me know ‘who I was called to be’ in this unique situation. The words from the Bible kept going through my mind ‘the least of these,’ ‘the least of these.’ 

Yesterday, Pastor Erik Howard preached a message at Christ Community Church about God’s command for all Christians, those who have placed faith in Jesus, to Go. His points were:

1. Lost people matter to God.

2. We are called to go.

3. We experience Beauty disguised as brokenness, as we go, through demonstration and proclamation.

It’s not just a command for those who are in Christian leadership roles, pastors, teachers, etc. It’s for everyone who follows Jesus. The message resounded in my ears as I sat there: Go, Go, Go to the least of these.

Matthew 25:40 (ESV)

And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’

I asked God, “Am I to approach her? Be Jesus to her, in the best way I know how?” The answer came after praying silently for about 10 minutes. Right here in front of everyone? The Holy Spirit said a resounding YES. GO TO HER. And I went. I sat down and touched her. I then introduced myself as Lois and asked what her name was. She attempted to look over with a painful glance as her neck was in a rigid horizontal position from her body. She smiled and was able to get the word “Joan” out of her mouth. She proceeded to writhe in pain as her neck would arch backward and her back would throw the rest of her body forward. She would slump way down in her chair to get it under control when the spasms would stop.

It was painful for me to watch. I couldn’t help her with that area, but I followed the Holy Spirit’s lead on how He had called me to help her, Joan. She had a name. She was created by God and has a purpose, even in her pain and disfigurement. As I sat there, she then said, “People won’t talk to me. People don’t like me because of what I look like.” Everything came to a halt inside of me. She shared a part of her everyday life experience and what she deals with. What a place of such hurt and rejection. That hit me deeply when she said that. She continued to try and get words out. She was desperate for someone, SOMEONE TO SEE HER, SOMEONE TO SHOW HER LOVE, even if it was only going to be for a matter of minutes on November 28, 2016.

I began to talk with her and ask her about herself. She then asked me, in her broken speech pattern, if I was ready for Christmas. I said I am always ready because it is all about Jesus, and I love celebrating Him. She agreed. She shared with me the diseases she has. She asked what I had, so I shared it with her. As she talked, I was hoping to learn about her situation to see if there was any way our church body, Living Faith Alliance, could support her. I was also hoping her talking with me would be a respite from her pain, even for only a few minutes.

I commented on her nice sweatshirt and matching hair tie. She got a huge smile on her face. She then said her grandmother was a designer and her mother owned a dress shop. I also learned of her own daughter’s drinking problems and that she is now in a halfway house. She has six grandchildren, four boys and two girls, ages 4-13. At that moment, it was like a blanket of shame came over her. She said, “You’re so nice. I’m sorry to dump all this on you.” I was taken back. I assured her that she was actually a blessing to Me, that I really wanted to hear her story and appreciated her telling me. She then continued the difficult action of talking.

She told me she is an agoraphobic, which is: an anxiety disorder characterized by symptoms of anxiety in situations where the person perceives the environment to be unsafe with no easy way to get away. These situations can include open spaces, public transit, shopping malls, or simply being outside the home.

So, the drive from Rio Grande is “murder for her” she said. But she is challenging herself to go to the doctor and Walmart. She also sees a counselor in Rio Grande but lives with an abusive ex-husband and is convinced they need each other. She assured me he doesn’t lay hands on her, but she has lived in the homeless shelter and they are there for her whenever she wants to leave the abuse that occurs where she lives.

I spoke into her life that God loves her and has purposes for her as well. I then asked her if I could pray for her. She held my hand tightly. I held hers tightly as well. I prayed and then she was able to get her eyes to come my way and said, “I want to pray for you.” As she tried to start, she couldn’t get the words out, so we met eyes and said Amen. A minute later, the doctor called her name. It was a powerful experience. I can honestly say that all I was dealing with physically became second. I wanted to make sure Joan got the help she needed. Praise God for her.

Joan may not know it, but God did something in me because of her.

It is vital to learn to hear the Holy Spirit’s prompting. If I moved on my own whim or desire to “help” out somebody with an obvious need, that could have been a traumatic experience for her. As she said, she’s an agoraphobic, terrified to leave her home, which is a result of trauma. So to have a person she doesn’t know come and sit by her and start talking could have driven her back to her trauma. The Spirit prompted and I went. Walk according to the Spirit. The result was beautiful. As Pastor Erik said, “We experience Beauty disguised as brokenness, as we GO.” 

Blessings, Friends!


What's Next?

Not to be maudlin, but at the edge of eighty-five it seems that I find myself considering the aspect of death more often than I did at, say, forty. There are jokes: “I want to die in my sleep like my father, not yelling and screaming like the other people in the car!” There is a country song with lyrics which state that “Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to go now!”  And that one is me, I guess.

It’s not that I’m afraid of dying; what is there to fear, with all the fantastic promises that our Jesus gives us! It’s just that I love, love, love my family and my friends, and, difficult as life can sometimes be, I’m used to it! I like being alive!

A few weeks ago I spent a week in the hospital. I wasn’t really sick sick; I had a touch of pneumonia, but the real thing was that somewhere in my lungs something started to bleed just a tiny bit, and they deemed it advisable to find out where and why. Consensus was that somewhere down there tissue that I had damaged by smoking for 20 years 40 years ago had sprung a leak.

Even with all the tests they never did find out exactly where this was happening,  not that it matters very much. But you can see that this episode might have prompted me to wonder just how I might die, when I do. Maybe sort of like drowning? Peaceful.

But if I could choose, I’d pick my Mom. I remembered my mother, the night she died. She was 102, in her own home, lying on her own bed, and as her breaths came more and more slowly she had this sweet smile on her face, and she was saying, “Oh my! ….. Oh my! …… Oh my! …”  How I would love to know what glorious things she was seeing in those her last moments of life on this earth.

I know that I will be ushered into the presence of the Jesus I love, that He has a home for me there, and that I will be with Him forever! I will have the mind of Christ! What does that mean?! I will again see my Nana and everyone who went ahead of me, even the Old Testament prophets and everyone I’ve read about in the Word! And there will be no evil, not anywhere! I can’t even imagine it, not with this mind! And Time; how will it be different? God created time for us here on earth! And our new bodies! No canes, no oxygen tanks to lug around! And how about His thousand year reign on earth? And the Rapture! So many questions, finally answered! I can’t wait!

Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute! Yes I can wait! I can wait in peace, because I trust so absolutely in the truth that GOD IS IN CHARGE!! Yes, He is! And we are so very, very blessed to have this God who sent His only Son to die to save us!

PRAISE GOD!

Underrated and Underestimated: Ezra

For the past several months, I decided to study the character and history of Nehemiah.  It was here that I encountered the scribe-priest Ezra.  Of Ezra, we read:

 He had prepared his heart to seek the law of the LORD, and to do it, and to teach in Israel  statutes and judgments (Ezra 7:10).

Ezra was considered very mighty in the Scriptures.  His own heart had been gripped by the truth of God's Word.  Writes HA Ironside in his commentary on Ezra:

 The Lord not only prepared Ezra's head, but his heart. His inmost being was brought  under the sway of the truth of God.  His affections were controlled by Scripture (p.44)

The bent of Ezra's life was Scripture.  It permeated his soul.  His heart was preoccupied with the Lord and with what the Lord had to say.  Ezra did not treat truth casually.  His mind and heart took seriously what he was entrusted with.  He made it his responsibility to:

  •  Put the Word to heart (SOUL PERMEATED)
  •  DO it in the life he lived (LIVED OUT ACTIVELY)
  •  Teach and instruct others (EXPLAINED TO MAKE SENSE
  •  Entrust #3 to others who are defined by #1 and #2 (REPRODUCE/REPEAT)

Ezra refused to treat the truth casually.  He walked the people through confession and a marked moment of repentance through the profound yet simple reading of the Scriptures.  He read the Word ALOUD to the people (I love this!).  There is a reference in the book of Nehemiah that he read from dawn till noon.  Imagine that?!  I think we fear in our time-driven culture that people would never show up if we read the Word for an hour, let alone 5-6.  But the people's hearts were gripped, and they wept over the Word.  Ezra spoke, repeated, and explained it.  He appointed others to do the same.  It transformed the people and affected the culture.

If curiosity has grabbed your heart and you want to know more, pick up your Bible and read Ezra and Nehemiah.  I think you will be drawn in by the courage of these men and how their hearts resonated with the truth for God's Great Plan for His Chosen People, Israel.  Let your own soul be gripped by these underrated and very underestimated men of God.

More Important Than the Task

We've spent a lot of time hanging out with my siblings and their kids this summer. What that means for my two children is that we've given them a lot of space to run around the house with the 'cousin pack.' They spend less time directly interacting with my husband and me, more time without direct adult leadership. It's definitely affected my youngest daughter, Bethany. I've noticed that she's started to enjoy her new-found independence a little too much.

For example, one delightful little mannerism that she's started implementing recently is a somewhat sneaky defiance. It's very quiet and subtle. I'll say something like, "Bethany, come here. We're going to change you out of your PJ's into your day clothes." Her reply is the quietest, mumble-y-iest, little "No" that I've ever heard. 

And I'll be honest, my gut reaction is just to ignore the quiet "No," and fly right over the defiance because it's so quiet. I'd tend to not even address it and just start stripping off her PJ's and shoving her day clothes onto her. 

And in some respects, that response is somewhat good. Because it's not like I said, "Oh, OK, I get it, Bethany. You don't want to get dressed. OK, you can just go to church in your PJ's." It's great that I don't let her 'rule' in that way. And it's also great that I don't reason with her: "Oh, Bethany, let me tell you all the reasons that you can't wear your PJ's to church. This reason, and this reason, and that reason....now do you understand?? Can you please agree with what Mommy is thinking and come get your day clothes on? Please?" That would be letting her take the role of a parent, and I've come so far in my parenting that that is my not my first response.

But. I'd propose that even though it's great that ultimately she's still doing what I want her to do when I just sweep her along in the wave of what I want by shoving her clothes onto her, I'm still missing so much

Because in that moment, the training that her little heart so desperately needs is SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT than the task of getting her dressed and out the door.

I so often miss, or even ignore, opportunities to train my children to choose the life-givingsafe path of willful obedience because I'm so focused on the task that needs to get done. In this situation of Bethie saying her quiet "No," it's a GREAT opportunity for me to stop what I'm doing, get down at her level, and give her a quick and appropriate consequence for choosing to defy in the smallest of ways. Because even if the defiance is small and quiet, it's still defiance. And when I call the quiet "No" defiance, I don't mean that I should bend her over my knee and give her a spanking or send her to time-out for the rest of the day. No! I'm saying that this moment offers a beautiful opportunity to RESCUE her from the dangers of disobedience and quiet defiance. 

So here's how I can rescue her. I can stop what I'm doing, crouch down to her eye level, and say calmly and gently, and yet firmly, "Bethany, you may not say "No" to Mommy. Please go put your nose up against the wall." She will probably be sad. She will probably not like it. But in that moment, I am rescuing her from the dangers of defiance by 'speaking' in a way that she, as a three-year-old, can understand. It's physical, it's right away, and it's appropriate. I wouldn't necessarily choose that consequence if I was in a room full of people, but if we're at home alone, it's a great way to let her know that her reply was unacceptable. And after she stands at the wall for about 15 seconds, I would call her to come back to me, and I'd say, looking right into her eyes, "Bethie, you cannot say "No" to Mommy when I tell you it's time to take your PJ's off. You must say, "OK, Mommy." Let's practice that now. I'll tell you it's time to take your PJ's off, and you say, "OK, Mommy." Here we go." And then I'd practice it with her. 

It doesn't take long. But it does require me to intentionally stop the flow of what I'm doing and value the training of my daughter more than the task of what I'm doing. 

The little moments of the day are so important. It's the compilation of all the little moments that add up to the big moments and the broad sweeping strokes of what our children learn from us. As a mom, I can so often forget that the little moments are important because I just want to get the tasks done, to make it through the day with as little interruption and bother as possible. But I need to remember that the most important task of all is training my children. And doing that will often involve letting go of the less important tasks, and crouching down in the middle of what I'm doing and teaching my child how to obey.