Learning to Surf the Waves

I spent some time down at the shore this summer. As a kid, we would spend every summer down in Ocean City, NJ. I grew up with a single mom who had a beautician shop connected to our tiny apartment over my grandparents’ house. We didn’t have much money, so I learned to work for everything I had. Mom tells the story of one Christmas she was able to buy me a saddle for my little pony I had worked for. The first words out of my mouth when I saw it under the tree were, “Do I have to pay for it?”.

In order for us to go down to the shore, I was allowed to have a little brown bank out in her beauty shop that her customers would put tips in all year. When the bank got full, I knew how much extra spending money we would have for the shore. It was exciting to count it out. Then, the best part would come. I would eagerly anticipate what I would do once I got down on the boardwalk. I had to get my raft, the heavy blue canvas one with the bright yellow ends. You may know the one! Then onto the 5 and dime to get my ever so popular shark bracelet. The bright white one that was so cool to wear. I was now ready to take on the waves.

As our family would take the walk to the beach from Plymouth Place, between 7th and 8th Street, I would be so excited to tackle the challenging waves. The bigger the better. Oh, I loved it. I honestly cannot remember any instruction of what I could or couldn’t do out there, except swim in front of the lifeguards. My snazzy raft and I, paddling out to the deep where the waves were crashing in. I would sit there on the top my raft feeling good. I was probably 10 or 11 years old, thinking I was one of those surfers. My board was just softer and safer than theirs! LOL

As I would look out onto the horizon; I would spot the waves rolling in, getting bigger and bigger. The bigger they were, the farther I could ride it in was the idea. Picture it, the white caps rolling in, my heart pounding faster and faster with excitement, and then boom, I hit the top of the wave and start sailing into shore. But then bam, I go head over heals onto the ocean floor, floundering and rolling over and over. Scrapes and little bruises would result, but a fun story would emerge. Battle scars! ‘Time to hit the waves again’, I would say! I was determined to learn how to stay on that raft and surf the waves, having a blast rather than hitting the ocean floor, which was hard, rocky, painful and unattractive.

I never thought that those raft experiences as a child would teach me a basic truth about life. It goes something like this: before I got really serious about following Jesus Christ, I repeatedly hit the hard, rocky, painful and unattractive floor of life. I would stay down there for days, weeks, months and even years. Yes, I went to church. Yes, I professed to be a Christian. But I was not seriously following Jesus into every area of life. Following Jesus meant that I had to ask Him about everything. How I should use my finances, where He wanted me to live, what car to buy, what career path to take, what ministries to serve in. You get the idea. It meant I couldn’t call the shots for my life anymore. I would be handing my life over to Him. I actually thought I had done that when I got saved, but with more inspection, I realized I hadn’t. I was still holding on and not surrendering my whole life to Him. I had to make a decision. Am I going to follow what the Bible says or am I going to continue to pick and choose what I consider comfortable and on the rest I would use my veto power? As long as I used my veto power I would always hit the ocean floor. Not because God wanted that. It was simply a consequence of my choices. When I finally got serious about following Jesus, I began a new healing journey.

During that journey I came to understand that I could learn to surf life’s waves and not get so beat up by life’s twists, turns, ups and downs. Let me explain.

The Bible says in John 16:3 “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

It also says this:

1 John 5:4 For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.

John 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

Isn’t that amazing!! It’s like riding on the top of that white cap wave, riding it in when you know full well that the ocean floor is right below you, with the capability to rough you up for a long time.

I am not saying that in all of life’s circumstances you will be able to ride the wave in. There are things that knock me down, so many times and I roll a bit. But I have to grab those scriptures, choose to believe what they say and know what they mean- not just read them and hope something will happen. I have to intentionally choose to believe what they are saying. It is then, and only then, that I am able to climb back up on the top of my life raft, which is built on the solid rock of Jesus Christ and His promises for me. That is how I continue to surf life’s waves and spend smaller amounts of time on the ocean floor.

Last weekend I was down on the beach in Ocean City watching a whole group of surfers. They were really great. When they wiped out, it was quite something, but they loved it. It was evident on their faces. Joy. That’s what I saw. That’s what I want. To continue to learn how to experience that joy the Bible promises, as we are able to grasp.

Revelation 12:11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death. Amen

Blessings Friends,

Loi

The Gospel That Can Guide Parenting And Change A Family

Recently I came across the newest book Paul Tripp released on parenting (Parenting: The 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family). I really would like to recommend this book. Paul Tripp has brought into one place many of his key teachings regarding parenting. This time, he is approaching it from the point of view of 14 gospel principles that can, as Tripp affirms, "radically change your family". Click here to read more about this sound and helpful resource designed for those who are parenting, work with children or have a chance to influence children. A free excerpt from the book can be obtained by visiting the link. For a Kindle version click here.

Sincerely,

Diego Cuartas

The Heart of a False Teacher: Wolves Among Us, Part 1

Earlier in the summer, my wife Lisa and I visited a "wolf sanctuary" near Lancaster, PA. I don't particularly even like wolves. In fact, they are probably my least favorite animal besides snakes.  During a small tour of the wolf sanctuary, I learned many interesting facts about wolves and wolf packs. But several particular facts about wolves stood out to me - wolves exist in packs usually with the dominant alpha male. They grew up together and they hunt together and they work together for the sole benefit of the pack. But this amazed me: it is a difficult thing, if not nearly impossible, to introduce a new wolf to a pre-existing pack. The wolf 'zookeeper' have made attempts to introduce an orphan wolf into various packs. If the wolves go at each other face-to-face, there's a good chance that this orphaned wolf can be assimilated into the pack. However, it doesn't usually work this way. More often than not, the alpha male will attack the orphaned lone wolf from behind, aiming for the back or the back of the legs or the hindquarters. If the pack attacks the wolf from behind, this wolf will have to be isolated from the rest of them - or they will kill it. Interesting right? It is clear that the wolf that attacks from behind and not straight on is the more dangerous wolf. Jesus told the apostles that he was sending them out like lambs among wolves. The imagery by Christ is quite fitting. We are his sheep - sheep of the one true shepherd, and wolves do exist. These creatures have instinctive attack and crave to devour their prey. The Old Testament false prophets were wolves - the New Testament false apostles were wolves - the false teachers in the church today are wolves as well. Satan's strategy through time really hasn’t changed much.

When studying the Scriptures, I did not find three nor five nor even ten characteristics of a false teacher. Instead, I found scores of biblical passages and dozens upon dozens (in fact hundreds) of wolf-like characteristics. First, false teachers and false shepherds are everywhere - they are not just on your television or on your Facebook feed. The Scriptures indicate that they have "secretly slipped in and crept in among you." They are not just national or international - they are local and regional. Now hear me here - my bold words are not meant to divide or call suspicion to anyone specifically. But I am making an indictment on false teachers for the sake of truth. We need to be Biblically conscious. Jude tells us that we will have to contend and fight with them. 2 Peter 2:1-3 also warns us about false teachers. In 2 Corinthians 11, Paul uses personal examples about how he dealt with their schemes. In 3 John, the beloved apostle John names the man Deotriphes and calls him out as a wolf who wants to be first. Paul adds further insight to us by dealing with dissenters in Romans 16:17-18 and Titus 3:9-11. Even Jeremiah 23 list the characteristics of the Old Testament false prophets. The Scriptures are not silent about wolves and false prophets and false teachers. The below list is only a function of what the Scriptures have to say about these existing wolves. I couldn't possibly list them all, but here are some traits of these ravenous wolves:

1.  They are 'among you'
2. Subtle and secretly crept in
3. Secretly introduce destructive heresies
4. Bewitch people and mislead with manipulative information
5. Divisive and opposing; usually stand diametrical to something good
6. Denying Christ, which means 'saying no habitually' to the Lord Jesus
7. Many follow their sensualities, appeals and lusts
8. Malign the way of truth and distort the Gospel
9. Warped, perverted, literally twisted
10. Greedy and covetous, instinctively want more, hearts that are trained as experts in greed, replicate Ahab & Jezebel's covetous heart, exploit and make market of people for money
11. Bold, willful, self-willed, self-centered, self feeders, self-absorbed
12. Are a burden to the people financially and relationally
13. They want to be equal with the real shepherds; undermine real authority
14. Masquerade and disguises, pretenders, hypocrites; grand deceivers
15. They exploit people with made-up stories for greed and financial gain
16. Want to be first, desiring preeminent; 'first lust', push themselves to the front
17. Are not humble, truthful, loving or hospitable
18. Accommodate the lies/slander/false accusations & false Gospels, the culture, and sin
19. Reject real shepherds/real apostles/real prophets with hatred and abuses
20. Grumblers and faultfinders; overbearing; critical, demanding
21. Have an instinctive moral twist; literally perverted
22. Provoke fear and scatter the sheep; divide unto disunity
23. They follow evil and use their power unjustly; they use and abuse naive people
24. Strengthen the hands of evildoers and falsely accuse the innocent
25. They spread the contagion of ungodliness
26. They speak visions from their own minds
27. They are not sent by the Lord nor do they speak His Word
28. They give the people false hopes and falls visions and say mostly pleasant things
29. They deceive and lie; they are 'pot stirrers'
30. They do not really build trust, but rather they destroy trust through provoking division by slander/deception/false accusation; they release faulty info and cause great scandals
31. They pursue dishonest gain and turn godliness into a means unto financial gain, which is similar to greed and covetousness; they love money and they want your money
32. They use smooth talk and flattery to gain advantages over the naïve
33. They put obstacles and stumbling blocks in the way of others; causing hindrances
34. They serve their own appetites; bent on instincts and natures and lusts
35. They question authority and refuse to submit; they love to be in charge & in control
36. They are agents of disunity; they polarize and divide and create dissent
37. They are subtle in their operation and create much confusion; misleading
38. They hate being confronted or corrected; they refuse correction and are unrepentant
39. They tell cleverly invented stories that they've made up; they speak visions from their own minds; they promise freedom but really enslave people into blind spiritual bondages
40. They are nearsighted with no real 'Peripheral' for context or a wider view
41. They appeal to the senses (sensual) and provoke various types of lusts (not just sexual)
42. They live in sheep's clothing and disguise themselves as angels of light
43. They counsel rebellion and divide the people and even leaders
44. They propagate and reproduce heresy and error
45. They are not sent by God, and they distort the Scriptures and God's Word
46. -500.....

I just listed 45 characteristics of wolves as false teachers. The Bible lists hundreds of traits for them. God's Word also counters these negatives with positive traits of the true shepherds and true apostles and true prophets. The false one usually seems to be subtle, but usually displays insubordination andis indignant. They are immoral, but it's not just sexual but moral and ethical. They plot evil and revel in their glory and greed.  Again, my goal is not to create suspicion - but we need to be aware and conscious of the fact that there are wolves among us.  They may not display every characteristic that I've listed above, but they will have some, if not many.  Be discerning as a sheep. You Shepherds guard the flock. Listen to the voice of the one true Shepherd, for His call from His voice is in a different direction. He beckons us toward a cross, a resurrection, and an eternal hope that is the antithesis of every wolf. Leaders, guard your flock from wolves. One of our founding fathers, Samuel Adams, said this over 200 years ago, "A strongman is a fool if he lets loose the wolf without first dulling its teeth or pairing its nails. There is no accommodation of a wolf - ever." In our culture of tolerance, we have accommodated wolves. Sadly, many have done the same in Christian ministries and even in churches. And they will feed on sheep. Let it not be so, Lord Jesus. Help us fight off these ravenous wolves who are ferocious. Come quickly, Christ, our one true Shepherd. But the rest of us must contend with wolves, so stand firm and fight for this Gospel and the Savior Jesus who we called Lord.

[I recently preached a sermon on the above topic, which you can listen to here.]

Thor Knutstad, Pastoral Counselor 

My Pictures Look Magical, But I'm In The Trenches!

We started our first year of homeschool this week.

I put all the cutsey, happy pictures up on Facebook and Instagram. But do you want to know a secret? What I really felt wasn't all cutsey and happy, actually. Sure, I thought my girls looked adorable in their uniforms that we chose to have them wear to help them distinguish between playtime and school time. And there were moments when I thought, 'We're really going to enjoy this.'

But most of the week was overwhelming.

One morning I got up before the rest of the family to think about why I was so overwhelmed, and I realized that what I was feeling was that same old feeling that I've felt at other big intersections of being a mother, like: becoming a mom, staying home alone with two girls while my husband went back to work, potty training, sending my daughter to kindergarten (and therefore starting to embark on the 'letting go' stage of parenting).

It's that nagging feeling inside that I'm just not sure that I HAVE WHAT IT TAKES to do this part of mothering.

I remember when I first became a mother I really had to grapple with this. I kept thinking, "I don't know if I'm really CUT OUT for this, for being a mother. I don't know if I have it in me." It was a big doubt for me. I kept questioning, even up until my first daughter's first birthday, if I was 'cut out' for mothering. 

And I still question myself...all the time. Do I have what it takes?

Choosing to homeschool is making me face this question again. Am I smart enough to think through educational philosophies and understand what they entail? Am I wise enough to choose which educational philosophy and how I want my daughters to learn? Am I restful enough, still enough, motivated enough to be able to sit down and spend ALL DAY with my girls? Am I a good enough leader to be able to create a place of learning that is magical and full of wonder for them? Will I be able to explain things well enough to them that they learn? 

So as we climbed the stairs to our little school room this week, our pictures on social media may have looked magical to the world, but the feelings I had inside of me were certainly not magical. They were overwhelmed, concerned, worried, intimidated and unsure.

In the middle of my less-than-magical feelings, I read this little blurb on Instagram about an author that I really enjoy:

So I decided that even though my personal 'trenches' this September aren't as tough as announcing a separation, they are MY trenches. And I want to show up...'in the during.' In the middle of my process. Before I'm settled in my spirit about all the answers and all the comforts that will carry me through the school year.

So, for anyone else out there who is in similar shoes as me, who is muddling through their own 'during,' I'm just going to share some resources that have started to speak to my soul already.

The first is an article from Desiring God blog. I think alot of where I need to come to in my mind over and over and over again is the place of being ok with weakness- because it leads me to a place of needing God and crying out to Him. And relying on Him for all the things: wisdom, patience, energy, parenting discernment...it's such a good place to hope in Him. This article describes the beauty of weakness so well:

Embracing Weakness Will Change Your Life

In a similar vein, the next thing that is encouraging me is found in this blog post, Missional Motherhood. It's a short paragraph that gripped me when I read it. It reminded me of my 'place' as a mother, the ok-ness of my frailty: how right and ordained it is to be weak.

"First, we get a grip on being a jar of clay.

Not one mother can claim to have it all together. Being a fragile, common jar of clay means that we are free to enjoy and appropriate the sufficient grace of God and show the world that “the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us” (see 2 Corinthians 4:7–10). Because Christ’s strength is made perfect through weak moms, we are free to lose the pretense that we are self-sufficient moms. Instead, we can boast all the more gladly of our weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest on us and fuel our contentment (2 Corinthians 12:9–10)."

On the other hand, I ALSO need to come to a place of finding out that, as I call on God, I CAN do the things God has asked me to do...because He is with me and He made me and He has given me what I need to follow Him into these new areas. Essentially, I do have what it takes to walk into this new area, because God Himself promises and provides it. Here's resource number two, straight from God's Word:

Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.

Hebrews 13:20

I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfill His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.] 

Philippians 4:13

Lastly, there are a few songs that I've been listening to. I typically am most helped by songs when I actually stop all my other activities and multi-tasking and just lay on the floor...or go for a run or a walk...or sit on my couch and listen to the song. It's like I remember who I am in those still moments. It's like my soul was as dry as a desert and then it's being plunged into a cup of water and just soaking in the truth that it so desperately needs. Here are some that have been a good reminder of truth for me:

So there you have it. Some of the resources and content that have been helping good old "Mrs. Teacher," the new homeschool mom, grapple through this new adjustment, as I come up against the same old doubt that says, "I'm not sure if I have what it takes." 

May they bless someone else out there who is also hanging out in the trenches with me this September. <3

Dear Alathea

Although I have been out of school for years, I may be forever ruined by the school calendar. September always feels more like the new year to me than January. With that sense of newness comes anticipation and excitement for me. Change is in the air. There is a change of weather, change from summer routines and daily rhythms, change in clothing and decorations, new learning opportunities etc. Some years the changes are big. Last year we were anticipating my husband changing jobs and the birth of our second daughter, Alathea. Other years, changes may feel like minor tweaks or refining. Looking back on this year, September to September, I have experienced quite the gamut of both. In a little over a month my daughter will turn one, and with that realization comes all the emotion, memories and lessons learned this past year. The best way I could think to process that and share with you was through a letter to her. So here it goes.

“Dear Alathea,

Oh man. Here come the tears, haha. My little love, I CANNOT BELIEVE that it has almost been a year since you were born. Just this time last year, I still had yet to meet you, and having suffered much with my health during my pregnancy with you I was both thanking God everyday that you weren’t born early and yet wishing the days would speed by until your birth.

Your birthday came soon enough, somewhere between early and right on time. There you were, pink and perfectly beautiful with a cry that often sounded like you were heartbroken. Although you weren’t my first baby, I experienced so many firsts with you. For one thing, I got to hold you and snuggle you right away, and you stayed in my room with me the WHOLE time I was in the hospital. I didn’t want to put you down because I was sure that the doctors and nurses were going to have to keep you longer like when Savanna was born. I was trying to treasure all my little moments with you.

Even though you were the second, you were the first I experienced the newborn stage with. My first times up exclusively nursing in the middle of the night were with you. You were the first to sleep in our bed. After a few nights of little to no sleep, I wasn’t as worried about doing everything by the textbook.

You are the first and only you. Learning your personality and seeing what you bring to our family through your little life has been such a joy! You are such a gift, sweet girl. You are determined, and quietly observant but oh so smiley. You love your big sister. Just the sight of her makes you laugh.

You are so loved. God knew what he was doing when He gave you to us and to me. Your name means truth. And you, beautiful Alathea, are a living Ebenezer, a marker of God’s truth drawing close to us through your life. I feel like I get glimpses of what God feels about me when I look at you and Savanna: great joy, delight and compassion in abundance.

I am also learning again the beauty and significance of little moments. As your mama, sometimes I am tempted to think that my life is passing by in insignificant little moments of picking up messes, wiping boogers, endless nursing and laundry. Oh, the laundry! I get tempted to feel like I am not doing enough. However, since you have been born, I am realizing again (like a child I too am being patiently led by God) that you two girls are my greatest mission, and ‘…little moments are significant because they are little moments. These are the moments that make up our lives. These are the moments that set up our future. These are the moments that shape our relationships’ (Paul Tripp, The Significance of Little Moments). Life really is made up of little moments. God slowed me down during my pregnancy, and most days felt as though they were being lived moment to moment of being faithful to my diet and taking my medications. Day by day I relied on Him for strength. And today still, day by day and moment by moment I rely on Him for wisdom and perspective for my days.

It is my hope that one day you will be able to learn from me what I am being taught by God through being your mama. Alathea, the moments when I follow His voice when no one is around are important. The moments I choose to be fully present with you both over finishing my agenda are important. Life is made up of many moments, and though they may seem fleeting, in the grand scheme of things they are big.

I am so glad you were born.

Love, Mama”

Friends, may God grant us grace to live fully engaged. The “little” moments are significant and make up the richness of our lives.