Coming Soon...September 4, 2013!

The Counseling Ministry Blog is a collaborative effort birthed out of the work Diego Cuartas, Lois Robinson, Tammy Vaughn and Thor Knutstad regularly do to foster healing and restoration in the lives of people via formal and informal counseling ministry. Our desire is to post every Wednesday a blog that will bless our community at large.

The purpose of the counseling ministry blog is to communicate current themes and truths that are observed in the private ministry of counseling, to expand kingdom impact on others. We hope this will be a blessing to you!

Look for it, beginning September 4, 2013! 

Selfish Me

Sherry Engel

Before reading this blog entry, I’d like you to take just a minute and reflect on what matters the most to you.  When you wake up in the morning, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?  What occupies the majority of your thoughts in a day?

Maybe you’re like many people and your thoughts turn to the busyness of your day, the work schedule, the bills that need paid, the homework that didn’t get done the night before.  Maybe you’re a future-focused person, so your thoughts dwell on the next achievement in your life, whether in your career, your finances, or even in your personal relationships. Maybe your thoughts are deeply rooted in your care and concern for others, so your thoughts dwell on other people, even the welfare of your family members. Do any of these sound familiar to you?                                      

How many of you answered the above questions by saying that what matters the most to you is fulfilling God’s purpose and plan for you?  Being honest, I can’t say that that’s how my thoughts are all the time.  I do pray all of the time for God to keep his purpose and plan at the forefront of all of my thoughts and actions.  There are many days that is exactly where my heart, soul and mind are.  And on those days, it is so deeply rooted that the spirit is just overflowing with that in me.  On other days, the battle ensues between the flesh and the spirit, and the “selfish me” appears.  And the funny thing is, most of the time the selfish me really isn’t even about me, but it is about “the world”.  It’s about the schedule that won’t allow me to spend as much time helping others as I want, it’s about not being able to get through to the people that I care about, it’s about obstacles that surface trying to do God’s work, it’s about normal everyday relationships.        

So what do we do when we feel the pressures of our own “little kingdoms”?

In a past sermon from our sermon archives, Pastor Nate, spoke about “big kingdom” living, as Paul Tripp, author of “A Quest for More: Living for Something Bigger than You”  calls it.  It’s all about looking up and out and not focusing on self.  As Nate describes it, when the arrows of your thoughts and actions are first pointed to God, then pointed to others, then God takes care of you.  All of HIS arrows will be pointed directly at you.

So what do I do when I start getting into the “selfish me” mindset?  Here’s what I found helpful:

• I visualize in my mind actual arrows pointing directly to God, then arrows pointed directly at those I care about.  I try to remove myself, my feelings, completely from the situation (I’m not saying this is always easy.)  Because you see, in my heart and soul, I 100% trust God’s plan for me.  In my heart and soul, I 100% know HE will supply everything according to my needs. 
• I use the tools God gave me…searching HIS word, and time in prayer and reflection. HE has all of the answers.  All we need to do is search for them.
• I rely on wonderful Christian friends to support me.
• I write! And thus this entry….today was one of those “selfish me” days…and with a little bit of God’s word, a little fellowship with a dear friend, a little writing, and a lot of talking to God, I’m already starting to refocus my arrows! 

For any of you struggling with what this crazy life is all about, I strongly recommend Paul’s book titled “A Quest for More: Living for Something Bigger than You”.  

Pinterest & The Gospel

Sarah Howard

First group: Hanging out with people. Clicking through images of shabby-chic DIY home projects on Pinterest. Daydreaming about what clothes and accessories I need to shop for next.

Second group: Freedom. Love. Slavery.

I wouldn’t naturally associates these two groups with each other. The first group is made up of everyday, ordinary things that I, a 28-year-old mom, do. The second is terminology coming out of Galatians 5.

However, as I’ve been thinking through this sermon series on the Gospel, I’ve found that, for me, the first group (being with people, imagining projects for my home, and wanting new clothes) is the real-life arena of where Freedom, Love and Slavery come up.

Take being with people, for example. When I’m with my friends I’m finding that I’m not interacting with them based on the truths that: God made me, that He placed His image in me, and that even though I’m sinful, He treats me with the love and joy with which He’d treat His one and only Son. I’m actually enslaved to my need to perform and manipulate so that anyone and everyone will approve of me.

Or when it comes to Pinterest, I’m not really wanting to completely re-do my normal, run-of-the-mill house into something unique and vintage and beautiful because that’s simply the design and beauty of God on my life. I’m looking to my house, and how well I could decorate it, to save me. I’m crying out for my house to please, please finally prove that I’m good enough. That I’m pretty enough. That I’m worth something. 

Or take daydreaming of completely revamping my wardrobe. I think that if I could just get the perfect style, I’d be saved. I’d be safe. I’d be invulnerable to the pressure on women to live up to so many standards. 

The thing about these real-life examples is that, I feel like I’m free. Free to dress however I want, decorate however I want, interact however I want. But on Sunday, we heard that, “true freedom leads to love.” Galatians 5 says, “Love others as you love yourself. That’s an act of true freedom.” And I can’t really see how my competing and striving and using and manipulating and performing and hiding could, when seen for what they really are, be labeled as love.

I don’t think the answer is to never interact with people, though. Or to not decorate my house. Or to never look at Pinterest. Or to stop buying clothes. 

I think the answer is to do those things, but out of a Gospel-settledness. It’s possible for all of these activities to flow out of a place of rest that’s available through the freedom that Christ’s work on the cross brings. I don’t have to hide or control or strive or manipulate or compete. I’m made by God, designed by God, loved by God, rescued by God, being changed by God, approved by God, known by God, and all without me earning it. As I rest in that reality, real love is free to come out of my life. Love can come out of my life in the way I decorate. Love can come out of my life in the way I dress. Love can come out of my life in the way I hang out with people. Love can come out because I’m free, free from the yoke of slavery of securing love and approval for myself. Love can come out because of the Gospel.

My Hope is Built on Nothing Less?

Jeff Hyson

We live in a world full of hope!  It's a good thing we do, because we also live in a world full of problems.  To state the obvious, without hope, life would be hopeless.  But wouldn’t it be nice if the correlation between the size of problems and the size of hope were linear?  In other words, the biggest problems would be seen as opportunities for the biggest hope.  Unfortunately, life doesn’t usually work that way.  When people are faced with huge problems, they rarely see much hope at all.  The other end of the spectrum holds true as well.  We tend to be the most hopeful when our problems are small.  Will the Eagles make the play-offs?  8 out of 10 fans think so, even though there is little to base that hope on.  Will that boy ask you out, even though he’s never looked at you and doesn't know your name?  Your friends think he will.  Small problems yield big hope.

            Every day, nearly 20,000 children die from preventable hunger and poverty related causes.  You see those “pennies a day” commercials for relief organizations and think, “How big a difference could my pennies-a-day really make?”  So you change the channel.  Or maybe you haven’t been able to pay the mortgage in a few months.  You see very little chance of keeping your house.  Big problems, little hope. 

            We tend to be the most hopeful when the outcome is of very little consequence, or when we have great control over it.  But when the stakes are high, and the outcome feels beyond our control, our hope fades.  We begin looking to other things to put our hope in, or we work really hard to control the situation.  We go through life controlling one situation after another, pinning our hope on ourselves and our ability to make things work.  Then, when situations are so obviously beyond our control, they seem utterly hopeless.

            This is the “gospel of me.”  I can fix it, I can control it, I can make things work.  Unfortunately, it always breaks down.  Owen Ashworth sings a similarly themed song, and comes to the conclusion that, “Oh, you need a new gospel, cause the bottom fell out of the old one long ago…” 

            The pastorate that my family belongs to is participating in the 30-Hour Famine, which is a campaign to raise awareness and funds to combat global hunger, a problem that World Vision swears is fixable.  I know that no matter how hard I try, I can’t fix global hunger.  It’s a problem that seems primed for hopelessness.  Why bother participation in what seems like such a trivial exercise. 

            All too often, we build our hope in something less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.  The broken “gospel of me” can’t solve the big problems, and often screws up when trying to solve the little ones.  The good news is that the true Gospel is news of hope.  I can rest in the fact that God has a handle on things, and his plan is the best plan.  While I can’t stand still and do nothing, I can move forward in the knowledge that my hope is built not on my ability to make things right, but on God’s unending love for me and mankind. 

            So is there hope for world hunger?  When World Vision began the 30-Hour Famine campaign in 1992, 40,000 children a day were dying from hunger and poverty related causes.  Today, that number has been cut in half, and I didn’t have to do it myself.  Big problem, real hope.