I Remind You: You Are Being Pursued

Recently my wife and I had a chance to participate in one of the annual Summits Celebrate Recovery offered. This one took place in Murfreesboro, TN, which by the way is a beautiful piece of our country! At this event we had a chance to hear the Hosanna Poetry Artist who presented a piece entitled: “Pursued”. It was so moving! It reminded me of how deep and obsessive is the love of God toward me. Not a love I can earn. Not a love I can coerce. Not a love I can even accurately define. 5:21, that is five-minutes-and-twenty-one seconds. This is how long it will take for you to see and listen, from start to end, a beautiful piece of poetry that will remind you, once more, of God’s relentless intensions to pursue you. Yes, you. Click here and enjoy this creative presentation to be reminded of the all time truth that God has loved us first (1 John 4:9-10).

Eat It iPhone: Part II

A few months ago, I wrote a post called Eat It, iPhone! (Putting My iPhone in Its Place). I felt excited for a few days, maybe a week, about implementing the ideas I wrote about for putting some boundaries around my iPhone usage. 

But I have to tell you...after a few days, there I was again, back to same habits, mindlessly scrolling Facebook when I had a free moment. Hiding from my kids in the bathroom, on Pinterest, feverishly searching out my next improvement. Checking my phone as soon as I woke up. 

I'm not saying at all that I shouldn't be on Facebook or Pinterest or my phone. I think you know that. But I honestly just feel like my brain (and my heart) keeps turning again and again to find something to fill me. To fill the void of boredom, of the monotony of life, of the routine moments. To escape from the grind of life. I'm looking for entertainment. I'm looking for rest. I'm looking for something to rescue me from it all.

I'm finding that this issue goes a little deeper for me than I originally thought. 

My husband and I have been having some honest conversations about these things that I'm feeling. I feel tired. I feel like the day is a never-ending list of tasks. And that's part of why I'm looking for some kind of rest, and some kind of filling, when I'm flipping through my phone. But I'm finding that it's not restful at all. It's actually more cluttering to my mind and my emotions. 

It's kind of like how I think I'll be more fulfilled if I have more stuff, buy more things, but then I actually just end up feeling more weighed down by the material things cluttering up my life. Or when I think junk food will be so satisfying, but I end up feeling sick and gross.

So, yes, we've been having these conversations, my husband and I. We've been sitting out on the porch after the kids are in bed, and I've been trying to unravel what I feel inside.

And some of the things we're discussing now are subjects like: what really is restful for me. And how I tend to think that if I'm resting, then I should feel lazy, and therefore guilty. I think I've bought into the lie that my worth is linked to my efficiency and productivity. And so I haven't been intentionally resting, playing, relaxing. I then find myself trying to escape through my phone. Trying to get away from my kids and my family because I'm just so stinking tired.

So, practically, some of things we're trying out are:

·       Me getting up early. I know this doesn't sound 'restful,' but, for me, it really is. I find I really need the space to be disconnected from my children's needs and voices and hands. I need the time to think and process. I feel like I'm drowning throughout the day if I don't have time to think. And be quiet. And be alone. So this includes, right now, time for me to do some kind of connection with God, some kind of thinking about my own emotional state, some kind of exercise (because I also have issues where I end up fluctuating in my emotions about myself and my physical body very extremely if I'm not exercising. Exercising is one tangible way I manage a more healthy perspective about my body), and a shower. All before the girls wake up. The way we've entitled this space in our talks is 'scheduling in margin.' If I don't have 'margin' in my day, I'm finding I just don't do well. I look for it unhealthy ways.

·       A few small technology shifts, such as when I read a book, I'm going to try to read an actual book, instead of reading it on my Kindle app on my iPhone. This helps create needed space between me and the iPhone. And it helps my brain do 'resting type things' that are related to a screen.

·       Setting boundaries around cleaning. This may sound completely unconnected, but, for me, it's in the same stream of consciousness. I end up feeling like nothing is ever clean, like I've never done enough, and that's not very far from believing that I'm never enough. Which leads me to want to disconnect, escape, get away from my family because the tasks are never done, there's never a place for rest, and I'm never good enough (that line of thinking has a name: shame). Pretty nasty stuff. So we're finding that I actually, for now, need some pretty strict boundaries on when and how much I can clean. Crazy! Here's what we're doing: every morning, I set the timer and clean up (and do other cleaning projects) for 30 minutes. Then, after dinner, we set the timer for 30 minutes again and both clean for 30 minutes. So that gives us about 90 minutes a day of 'house-cleaning time.' Whatever gets clean, gets clean. And then we just label the house (whether it technically IS or ISN'T) as CLEAN. It is DONE. It is CLEAN. Regardless of whether I think it's perfect or good enough...it's CLEAN. And this creates an atmosphere for me where I can feel like my day is no longer a never-ending series of tasks that never end, and never get done, and I'm never enough. That just helps me not want to turn to my phone for rest because I'm always working to prove that I'm NOT 'not enough.'

·       A technology sabbath and a regular sabbath. I've always kind of felt like I 'couldn't sabbath' because...'I'm a mom.' I couldn't stop working for a day because 'I have children,' and that's my job. But I've started having this conviction that part of my tiredness is connected to my lack of intentional sabbath (or stopping). My lack of sabbath mentality (as well as sabbath practice). So, honestly, I've only tried two sabbaths so far. But the first one was a wonderful success. I'll tell you why I label it a success. First, I decided that I wanted to make my sabbaths also 'technology sabbaths' (where I'd give my phone to my husband, and tell him, "Could you be in charge of anything pressing that anyone texts, but otherwise, I don't want to see my phone at all today?"). That was so good for me: all week I've felt like that simple act in itself of disconnecting from my phone created the space that I've wanted from my phone, but haven't been able to do on my own willpower. The day of being away from it severed my need for it. I don't know if it will always be that way, but this week, I haven't really had the same draw to my phone that I previously did. And it was SO GOOD for my soul to be reminded that everyone in the world would get along fine without me, without my input. My friends, my family, would be fine without me. God is plenty sufficient for all their needs. It was like my mind had to rest in the bigness of God, simply by letting go of my phone and instant connection to everyone for that one day. I didn't anticipate that. And the regular sabbath part of the day was just plain old good for me. To let myself take a nap without guilt. To read happily. It actually made me want to connect with one of my nieces when I was with my family in a way I wouldn't normally, because I'd typically feel too drained. I had extra space in my heart. 

So there you have it. Some of the things that we're trying to implement for me to dig deeper into this issue of rest and where I find it. Carving out intentional spaces for rest, so that I wouldn't constantly be longing for it and looking for it in unhealthy and non-restful ways, and coming up exhausted. 

If you're at all interested in a few more blogs or resources that I, myself, found helpful in my journey, I'll list some below. They're just regular blogs of regular people:

A mother's thoughts on how technology is influencing her child:

http://www.icanteachmychild.com/the-ipad-is-stealing-my-sons-childhood/

Both of these two blogs are commenting on the need for technology sabbaths:

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/05/20/tech-sabbath/

http://mediashift.org/2012/06/why-we-need-a-technology-sabbath158/

A mother's thoughts on how busyness is influencing her family:

http://raisedgood.com/simplifying-heals-whole-family/

Focus on the Family's brief comments on the cultural phenomenon of mothers staying so busy:

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/about/focus-findings/parenting/why-is-mom-too-busy

A few blogs of mothers wrestling with the issue of Sabbath:

http://www.theconfidentmom.com/05/faith-and-family/steps-implementing-sabbath/

http://thescooponbalance.com/serious-about-the-sabbath/

https://formissionarymoms.com/2009/03/05/sabbath-rest-with-small-children/

http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/parenting/challenges/frazzled-family/a-sabbath-for-mommy

Sarah Howard

Huddle Up: It’s Time For a Pep Talk

I always love a good pep talk. My favorite part in many movies is the part where troops are rallied or the main character gets a jolt of strength from recalled wisdom. These moments seem to give a bird’s eye view in the middle of heated circumstances offering the perspective needed to carry on. In similar fashion, I write this for you, for I have found that even when life seems to be relatively uneventful, the ordinary and mundane can whittle away our perspective if we allow it. Let us not lose sight of who we are fighting for, who we are up against or where we are going, whether we are in the thick of battling the hard things in life or going to another day of work. Let us not forget that we are participants in a great story. Let us not forget who we are.

 We have often heard about the powerful impact our story can have on others as we live openly and talk about Jesus’ presence in our lives. However, I have realized that I have to get good at preaching truth to my own heart and soul before I can effectively share with others. So, here is how my pep talk to myself goes.

Who am I fighting for? What is He like? I fight for God, and He is incredibly powerful. “Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all of these? He who brings out the starry host one by one and calls forth each of them by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength NOT ONE of them is missing…Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.” He is incredibly good. “…He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak” (Is. 40:26,28, NIV). He is incredibly gracious and compassionate. “The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love…As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.” (Psalm 103:4, 13, ESV).

Who am I up against? “… Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8, NIV).” “…He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth , for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44, NIV). 

Who am I? What is true of me? I am free. “For the law of the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death” (Rom. 8:2, ESV). I belong because I am a child of the most high God. “…you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons by who we cry ‘Abba! Father!’…and if children, then heirs-heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ…” (Rom. 8:15, 17, ESV). I am part of a great heritage of faithful fighters. “We do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved” (Heb. 10:39, NIV).

 So why do I keep fighting for truth and striving to run this race with excellence? I fight and run to win! “I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable” (1 Cor. 9:24-25, ESV). I am a participant a GREAT story where God crushes all my enemies and makes me more like Him. “…He will dwell with them and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away… Behold, I am making all things new” (Rev. 3-5, ESV).

This God who is incredibly powerful, good and gracious saw fit to save me! He stepped in to my family’s history and drew close to my grandparents and parents so that I might have the chance to know him. He rescued me from the power of darkness and my enemy the devil who would seek to keep me bound in lies. He has forever changed my identity to be a free, dearly loved child adopted into a new family of faith. He is too big and has brought me too far for me to quit. Hallelujah!! This is the perspective that keeps me going and the pep talk that gives me the tenacity I need to engage daily. So let’s go! It’s time to get off the bench, out of the huddle, back onto the battlefield and into the game. 

Sophia Howard

Caution: Politics Ahead

Caution: Politics Ahead

There's something happening here.  What it is ain't exactly clear.

A fundamental shift is happing in Christendom, or at least in the North American church.  What is it?  Well, as Buffalo Springfield summed it up, it ain't exactly clear.  Ask different members of the faith, and you will likely get different answers.  The old guard, meaning the conservative Christian or "Religious Right", who has been virtually the only voice speaking for all of us, might tell you it's some young liberal progressives with a broken moral compass.  Christian millennials might tell you it's a rejection of the politicization of religion.  Still others might tell you that religion has become too commercial, or the church too corrupt, or the faithful too hypocritical.  And while statistics show that many young people are leaving the church, many others are choosing the path that was not necessarily available ten or twenty years ago.  They are choosing to remain faithful and use their influence to change church culture, and not everyone is happy about it.

In the 90's, there was not much diversity, politically speaking, in the evangelical church.  Nearly every man, woman, and teenager was a cut-and-dry conservative.  In fact, it was basically a foregone conclusion that the born-again flock would vote in lock-step with Jerry Falwell and James Dobson.  Opposing abortion and gay rights were the only political issues that mattered, and Ronald Reagan was the patron saint of the movement.  I remember having a debate with my high school best friend over who was more conservative.  I wore it like a badge of honor.

Many of my friends, family, and church family are still very conservative on most issues.  In fact, if I divide my friends based on age, nearly all who are older than me are more conservative than I am, while most younger than me are less.  My generation is a pretty even split.  I find myself holding on less and less to the ideas that I once held dear.  You could say I’m becoming more liberal, that’s fair, but please reserve judgment as to what exactly that means.

I have gone into detail at other times, in other posts, about my journey, but that is not my point today.  I believe what might be happening in the church is a shifting focus toward love.  Don’t get me wrong – I am not suggesting that this shifting focus toward love and the shift from more conservative to more liberal values are one and the same.  The fact that my more conservative friends are accepting of a variety of viewpoints within the church illustrates the shift toward love.  We are all trying to be more like Christ.  His message was one of inclusive love.  He loved, befriended, socialized with sinners and outcasts.  In his perfection, he loved the unlovable. 

The “Religious Right” of the 80’s and 90’s tended to focus on bringing people into alignment with Christian values through the political process.  While that sounds like a worthwhile pursuit, it was also alienating.  The movement lives on, for better or worse, in today’s politics.  But the church is changing.  Even as US politics become more left-right divisive, the church becomes more and more diverse and accepting of people and viewpoints once considered outsiders.  I can speak openly about topics ranging from social justice to evolution, and expect a spirited debate with no fear that my faith will be questioned.

We might disagree on a lot of topics, but we can agree that more love is always better and that following the example of Jesus is a good place to be.  Even if, for my conservative friends, accepting a “liberal” like me is as far as they are willing to go, I’ll take it.  We are becoming a church that is more accepting of differences, not because we no longer care about sin, but because we are learning to love well.  If that sounds a little murky, that’s OK.  Just keep in mind that old hymn by Buffalo Springfield.

Jeff Hyson