No Room For Comparison

This blog was originally posted on Sarah Howard's blog "Parenting". Read more at: http://www.somuchhope.com/parenting/

A couple of years ago, my husband and I tried to read through the Bible in a year. I didn’t make it all the way through, but it was a great experience to try. We read it in chronological order, in the order it was supposedly written in, so sometimes we were reading from different passages each day instead of simply reading straight through.

In the beginning, we read some of the beginning of Genesis, and then jumped into reading the whole book of Job before we came back to Genesis again.

I found it really interesting to see the way God interacted with different characters of the Bible in different ways. It struck me, after reading about God's story with Job, and then moving to God's story with Abram, that God really does move towards as specific individuals. His way of (to use a Christian phrase) ‘working in Job’s life’ was way different than with Abram. There’s not a cookie-cutter formula when it comes to the story of His interactions with us.

As a mom, this really speaks to me. There are so, SO many opportunities for comparing myself to other moms and their stories. For example, just spend some time in a room full of women discussing their labor and deliveries stories. There's always that subtle comparison aspect. The one-up feel. The nonchalant asking of whether you had an epidural or a C-section. Or talk to that same group of women about their newborn parenting philosophy. Did they let their baby 'CIO'? How long does their baby sleep at night? At what age did they achieve the elusive sleeping-through-the-night phenomenon?

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE knowing the stories of my friend's lives. It can be so hysterical to compare notes and find out personal details. Talking about ‘women stuff’ is a blast. It’s one of my favorite things to do. However, here’s what I’m talking about: it’s definitely NOT my favorite thing when the simple sharing of who we are and what’s happened in our lives turns into something darker. Sometimes it morphs into the same discussion on the surface, but under the surface, women are also trying to decide if there's something wrong with them, with their story, with how they did things. They’re wondering if they’re ‘good enough.’ And they're defending the validity of what they experienced.

And that's where this ‘God with Job/God with Abram’ things speaks to me. God was uniquely orchestrating each one of their life experiences to have a unique God-encounter with Him. It's totally different how He expounds on the magnificence of His creation to Job, and how He promises Abram an heir when he's an old man and makes him wait even longer for the promise to materialize. His story for their lives is the same in that He is using the circumstances to draw them to Himself, but they’re completely different in the way He goes about it.

The hopeful conclusion for me in all of this is that God interacts with ME uniquely, too. And the way He moves towards my mom friends to get ahold of their hearts is also completely different than the way He moves towards me.

So, let me suggest this. Maybe it's not so much about whether or not I had the epidural, or if my birth was completely natural or not. Maybe my labor was tailored specifically for me and what God wanted to work in me. Maybe He had unique plans for what He wanted to lead ME through and how I'd encounter Him in the middle of it all. What if how my newborn acts is less about how perfect of a parent I am, and more about what God is doing inside of me? If my friend's baby sleeps 12 hours straight through the night at 3 weeks old, and mine wakes up after 45 minutes every stinking time, maybe it's not about whether I'm a good mom or not...but about God and the things He is working into me, the ways He's stretching me to learn to hope in Him in a new way, the methods He’s using to refine me. Maybe my friend with the easy labor and the easy baby needs grace from God. Maybe I need to go through the deep waters. But whatever He’s doing, it is most certainly specific and individualized, and there is no room for comparison in the light of His faithful pursuit of His glory being revealed in each of our lives.

Sarah blogs regularly, connect with her at www.somuchhope.com 

What Resurrection Does (Part I)

(By Thor Knutstad)

Before his death on the cross, Jesus did a major miracle that caused quite a stir with the Jewish leadership, the Sanhedrin.  In John 11, He raised Lazarus from the dead.  This set off a wildfire of rage and hatred with the Pharisees.  Because of Lazarus’ resurrection (which was witnessed by hundreds), the Sanhedrin called a special meeting and began to specifically plot how to kill Jesus.  Instead of celebrating God’s Glory in this miraculous work of Christ, their jealousy of Jesus and their desires to keep their power motivated them to put a plan into motion to stop what He was doing.  I think that we sometimes wrongly assume that they tried to deny the miracles – especially the miracle of Lazarus’ resurrection.  Sure, there are moments in the gospels when they try to deny the miracles of Jesus, but here they do not deny.  They actually admit the miracles and the miraculous signs and wonders.

A closer look at John 11:47-48 reveals something else.  The Sanhedrin were motivated by fear.  In verse 48 John writes in chapter 11, “If we let him go on like this (performing miraculous signs), everyone will believe in him, and then the Romans will come and take away our place and our nation.”  Isn’t it ironic that they were admitting that Jesus actually raised Lazarus from the dead miraculously, confessing the Glory of God in the miracle, without actually believing it?  By doing this, they are somehow saying that Jesus is Deity (God).  Their hearts do not testify to this, but their words and actions actually show an admission of the miraculous.  Yet something was more sacred to them than seeing the Glory of God and being in the presence of the LORD God (Jesus).  What was more important?  Power – the nation – the temple – their fear.  Their hearts did testify to that.  They were so afraid of losing their power and their authority over the people that they would begin the plot to kill the Lord.  Caiaphas, the high priest, didn’t even know the prophecy he was saying when he said, “It is better for you that one man die for the people than for a whole nation to perish” (John 11:49-50).  This solidifies the plot and gives the authority to the Jewish leadership to begin a widespread plot of accusation and collected information to destroy the LORD.  John notes that Caiaphas didn’t say this on his own, but that his statement was a prophecy of deeper truth.  The secondary meaning of his words indicate that God declares the eventual effect of Christ’s sacrificial and atoning death for Israel and the entire world.  What a statement!  But it is a turning point in the battle of the Pharisees against Jesus.  From that point on (verse 53), literally “from that day on” they plotted to take his (Jesus’) life.  “From that day on” is a continual phrase that defines their mission.  This meant that during the next two weeks they would bear down on the people, on Jesus, and the Roman leadership to enact Jesus’ death.  This terrible but great set-up of questions and stirrings and accusations would eventually lead to the cross on Golgotha where Jesus was crucified for sin.  Little did the Sanhedrin know that their plotting was part of a grander design by the LORD God in the sacrifice of His Son.

Lazarus’ resurrection from the dead as a miracle of Jesus is a crucial turning point in the unfolding events of history.  It pits the Sanhedrin directly against Jesus as life-giver and God.  They go so far as to even plot to kill Lazarus (John 12:10) and refuse belief in Jesus, even though they had all seen themselves His miraculous signs and wonders (John 12:37-44).  It is easy to see how they are merely tools and pawns in a greater story, but it should amaze us that their jealousy, their anger and their fear brought them to the culmination of the premeditated murder of our LORD.  The miracle of Lazarus’ resurrection stokes the fire that leads to Jesus’ death on the cross.  It should sadden us that a miracle would create so much trouble.  But life and resurrection do just that.  Our Gospel collides with the enemy and with death and with a world system that is destructive to people.  

We often consider Good Friday and Easter in this order: death, then resurrection.  But Lazarus’ death and resurrection is a sort of prophecy of Jesus death and resurrection.  It’s the very miracle and event that previews Christ’s crucifixion and resurrection that fires up the Jewish leadership to plot the LORD’s death.  Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead is in essence defying them and saying this: “I am God, and I have the power over death and life.”  Jesus provoked and irritated their self-righteous and self-protective motives to the measure of them wanting to kill Him.  Wow!  But even their sinful plan to take Jesus out would be used by our masterful God in a better way. A greater and ultimate resurrection – Praise Him!  (Part two next week – What The Resurrection of Jesus Does).

Uninspired

I’ve been stuck in my house for six days now. 

First, the snowstorm that cancelled school for two days. Second, the bronchitis…the cough that is so nasty sounding that the doctor asked me if I smoked or had asthma when he heard it. (The answer is no to both, by the way.)

I went out yesterday, to the clinic and the drugstore. Other than that, just me, serial killer crime shows, and these four walls most of the time for almost a week.

Even my beloved cats are sick of me!

I remembered this morning that it was my turn to blog. My first thought was that I could not possibly be less inspired to write something spiritual and uplifting than I am right now. As my dad always says, I got nothin’. I’m a coughing, depressed, anxious, grieving, searching, achy, fed up, exhausted, burnt out little soul. My mind and heart have been aching…now my body has joined them. 

But maybe being uninspired is the best topic. Discouragement is hardly unique to me or the present day. 

One of the things about the Christian life that it has taken me a long time to learn is that a trouble free life, one of easy abundance and good cheer, is an illusion. We like the idea that prosperity will come our way with God as the divine Santa Claus, making a list of good boys and girls and checking it twice. This is simply not accurate. God is the giver of all good things, but we live in a fallen world where things will never be perfect. 

So disappointment and discouragement are inevitable parts of any earthly life, I’ve come to find. We will be afflicted with sickness, dysfunction, brokenness, and grief until this part of our lives is over. 

What do we do with these things? Hide them? Put on a happy face? Run away? Become angry and bitter? There are so many responses to the “bad” parts of life. I think I have explored every single one of these possible reactions at some point, and none of them has been healing. 

God is still God. The Gospel is still the Gospel. No matter what happens or how I am feeling, these things are True.

This is what heals. Gripping Truth when all you want to do is let go of your hope and your faith. Because if you hold on to something in spite of wanting to give up, then it is more powerful than anything else you may be thinking or feeling. It becomes the Most Important Thing, bigger than any emotion or circumstance.

I know my current discouragement will be temporary because I’m holding on to something way more powerful than my feelings and illnesses.

This isn’t easy. I am not “good” at this gripping of Truth. I still want many parts of my life to be something different than what they are. I find it all too easy to focus on my faults and problems than God’s glory. But I know this is a process that God uses to grow His Children:

“But we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” – Romans 5:3-4 NIV

Nancy Vasquez

 

"What would you say to someone who is fearful of being married?"

So we live in a time where people are tempted to create or adopt alternatives to the original design God gave mankind regarding marriage. Perhaps you are in the place where fear is what keeps you from entering into God's design for marriage. Listen to what Winston Smith, counselor, would say to someone who is afraid.

The Gift of Anger

(By Lois Robinson)

Anger, a gift? Some of you may highly disagree with the title of this blog! Some of you have witnessed anger being used in a controlling, manipulative way that brings division and harm at times. That is called externalizing your anger. That would be an example of taking a gift and using it in a wrong way. Just like getting a beautiful vase, a one of a kind, but using it as a hammer just because you needed to put a nail in the wall to hang a picture. The vase was never created to be used in that way. It will break, and someone may even get hurt when it shatters.  Make sense? Then there are those who don’t break things but internalize their anger. They just don’t acknowledge any feelings of anger whatsoever; they deny it. Both are wrong ways of dealing with this emotion. 

The bible, otherwise known as the Word of God, actually says to be angry. It is actually a command! Check it out:

    Ephesians 4:26 (NRSV)

    "Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,"    

When I saw this, I was taken back. I never read this particular verse as a command. I only paid attention to the ‘do not sin’ part. As I then started breaking this verse down, it became clearer and clearer to me, through the Holy Spirit, that it would be impossible not to get angry in this broken world we live in. There are so many teachings saying anger is a sin, it’s wrong to get angry, Christians don’t get angry, and the list goes on and on. The verse that I have posted in this blog says just the opposite! That’s why it is so important we make sure we know what God Himself says about anger and other issues as well.         

So, why am I calling this emotion of anger a gift? Here goes!

Anger is the barometer of your heart that tells you something needs to be dealt with- a quote from Pastor Nate Howard, Living Faith Alliance Church.  So in trying to sort through what needs to be dealt with, you can unpack it with this next bit of information:

Anger is considered a Secondary Emotion. It is actually made up of three Primary Emotions: 

• Fear
• Frustration
• Hurt Feelings                 

So the next time you feel anger, see if it is a Fear Anger, a Frustration Anger or a Hurt Feelings Anger. It may be a combination of a couple or all three as well. That can help you understand where the anger is coming from so you can know how to move forward in dealing with it. 

Processing the anger correctly will prevent the following destructive pattern from occurring:        

        Anger-(becomes)-Resentment- (becomes)-Bitterness

It is critical that you pay attention to what you are feeling inside and then make healthy choices to deal with it correctly. Otherwise destruction comes from internalizing it. 

    Hebrews 12:15 (NRSV)

    "See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and through it many become defiled."

That is a heavy verse, friends. I would encourage you to stop externalizing anger in controlling, manipulative ways, if that is your tendency. I would also encourage any of you who hold it all in/ internalize it, to process it and take steps to handle it in a healthy manner. 

Blessings Friends -