I Hear Those Chains Falling Down!

Have you ever taken one of those assessments, tests or inventories that you may find in a magazine, WebMD or online? One where they are trying to diagnosis why you are the way you are. They ask all kinds of questions regarding what you think about yourself, others and your worldview. There are psychology assessments, great tools like the Myers Briggs or the SDI Training our church uses, that enable people to understand things about others, especially in conflict. Learning about ourselves and others is a never ending study. Let’s face it; there is a lot to learn!

Well, I have put together some questions myself, things I hear in my office each day from people who are searching for ways to break out of their dysfunctional patterns of thinking that inevitably lead to dysfunctional patterns of behaving.

Have you ever thought:

1. I don’t  know how long I can  go on like this.

2. Am I the only weird, messed up one that thinks and feels like I do?

3. No one would like me if they really got to know me.

4. People don’t really mean the nice things they say to me.

5. I don’t know who I am.

6. Why am I here on earth?

7. I cannot go on one more day.

8. I’m done.

9. I am afraid of myself and what I may do.

10. I need something to medicate this pain I am in.

11. No one really can understand my pain.

12. They would be better off without me around.

13. What’s the use in trying because I will just mess it up again.

Do you find yourself feeling:

1. Confused about your life

2. Angry and sad a lot

3. Lonely

4. Misunderstood

5. Useless

6. Unworthy and guilty

7. Unfulfilled

8. Carrying Shame

9. Embarrassed

10. Hopeless

11. Scared

Do you find yourself:

1. Isolating

2. Medicating with drugs, alcohol, pornography, sex, gambling, eating, self harm

3. Eating disorders

4. Cutting

5. Suicide attempts

6. Practicing dangerous behaviors

7. Prostitution

8. Dabbling in the demonic

I want YOU to know, if you say yes to any of the above behaviors or others not mentioned here, there is a someone named JESUS who loves YOU and made YOU for a reason. HE CAN and WANTS TO BREAK THE CHAINS THAT ARE KEEPING YOU IN BONDAGE.  

I believe this blog is for someone. I didn’t know I was going to write on this today, but God said, “Do it!” so I am doing it. If you are reading this and read through to the end, thank you. If you need help, you can call the church at 856-696-3444 or me at 856-305-9086.

There is HOPE and His Name is Jesus.

The Bible says this:                                       

25 Around midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening. 26 Suddenly, there was a massive earthquake, and the prison was shaken to its foundations. All the doors immediately flew open, and the chains of every prisoner fell off!    Acts 16:25-26  (NLT)

—Lois Robinson

Gratitude? I Thought It Wasn't For Me

I’m sad to say that I’ve always kind of thought that it’s not worth my time to ‘practice gratitude.’ 

I’ve considered myself quite above the practice…thinking that when people ‘count their blessings,’ they’re doing something a little bit hokey, a little bit like living in a ‘Pollyanna-type’ reality. They’re just looking on the bright side of things. I’ve considered myself more realistic than that, more authentic than that, and guess what?

I’ve missed out. 

I’ve thought that not practicing gratitude would not affect me. I even thought that it might make me a more authentic person. But I was wrong. 

I’ve been experiencing an elevated level of anxiety in this season of my life. Or maybe, more honestly, it’s just that the anxiety that I typically have going on under the surface, that I’ve learned to cope with, is more apparent. 

As I’ve asked the Lord about this anxiety, I keep hearing His invitation to practice gratitude. At first, it seemed odd. It seemed like I was probably hearing wrong. Too much of a simple fix. But I read a book on gratitude, and the author sort of grappled through all of the same reasons I had for not practicing gratitude, and she also came to the conclusion at the end that gratitude was something essential that she was missing, and that the lack of gratitude in her life was affecting her deeply. I could relate. 

So I’ve started trying to practice gratitude. 

And as I’ve started, I’ve found that gratitude is not just a practice of ‘looking on the bright side of things.’ It’s a re-orientation for my eyes to really see life in an accurate way: I have been given everything I have. I am taken care of completely. I have a Father who carries me, and turns every evil and difficultly into good through His miraculous resurrection power. I am so loved. There is a God who is control. 

These things are true, but when I choose to not practice thanking God, remembering God, I miss out on the real realities of the universe. And I live in an alternate reality where life feels out of control, scary, overwhelming.

When I don’t practice gratitude, I get confused. My eyes get clouded to the way life really is. Gratitude helps me return to reality. 

“For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools…”

Romans 1:21-22

“And you murmured in your tents and said, ‘Because the Lord hated us he has brought us out of the land of Egypt, to give us into the hand of the Amorites, to destroy us.’ Then I said to you, ‘Do not be in dread or afraid of them. The Lord your God who goes before you will himself fight for you, just as he did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness, where you have seen how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, all the way that you went until you came to this place.’ Yet in spite of this word you did not believe the Lord your God, who went before you in the way to seek you out a place to pitch your tents, in fire by night and in the cloud by day, to show you by what way you should go.” Deuteronomy 1:27-33

May we, today, have the courage to take the steps that we need to, to remember God’s good care of us…and to thank Him for it. May we live having the courage to yet again be faithful to do our part to lay hold of the true realities of life.

—Sarah Howard

I'm Happy for You

I have to say that for as taxing as parenting can be, the process contains such a treasure trove of lessons. There is something sacred, beautiful and stretching about having to take truth or a big life lesson and make it easy enough for a toddler and preschooler to understand. There is something powerful about hearing the Gospel come from my lips in its profound simplicity as I have shared it over and over again with my three and four year old. In those moments, I get emotional because it often feels as though I have preached to my own heart. These times that are peppered in among the fits and whining and the other not-so-glamorous parts of parenting make it all so worth it and are often the inspiration for what I bring you here. Therefore, without further ado, I bring you a snippet of encouragement from the Howard homestead.

We try to spend some one-on-one time with each of the girls and take turns taking them on special outings occasionally. However, after a few times of doing this, we have come to anticipate that it might be a little bit of a challenge for the girl who had to stay home when her sister returns to tell her about the fun she has experienced. We have seen quite a few meltdowns or grumpy attitudes during these transitions. These same reactions have also been witnessed when one sibling receives praise for a job well done. Why? Jealousy? I am sure that is part of it. However, I think it goes deeper than that to a faulty core belief that I have seen many adults live out of but few articulate; myself included. After affirming our love for the one that feels left out, what we usually discover is the same. The root of her unhappiness for someone else usually stems from the thought that her sister’s success or joy somehow means that she is missing out or has failed and isn’t good enough thus resulting in the meltdown, frustration and subsequent competition. It’s hard for her to say ‘I am happy for you’ and mean it.

Can you relate? Have you ever felt upset when someone else gets the recognition, job promotion, house or family you wanted? Do you have a hard time celebrating others’ successes? Maybe you have been on the receiving end. Maybe you have tried to share good news with people who are reluctant to rejoice with you without competing. I can relate to having experienced both. Neither is a good feeling. So then what? Here is the adult version of what I say when I coach my daughters and myself. Lean in, and I will tell you a secret. Say this with me. OTHER PEOPLE’S SUCCESS DOES NOT MEAN MY FAILURE.  Why? One, because you have nothing to prove. God is gracious, so your identity is not staked on how well you perform or how productive others say you are. Second, you serve a GOOD God who is not holding out on you. He has good things for you. His good in your life may not look the same as someone else, and that is ok. This process of slowing down and unpacking the beliefs behind my emotions is so important to allowing truth to penetrate deep in my heart. Oh how realigning the truth can be.

Our place is secure, friends! We are deeply loved, wanted and significant, so we can make others feel the same by being present. If we have the courage to do the work to go below the surface, we can make strides toward not being the walking wounded. We can rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn (Romans 12:15). We can seek to know each other’s story. Sometimes in our insecurity, the circumstances in people’s lives that we wish we had are actually the result of hard fought battles we know nothing about.

Let’s cheer each other on and love each other well. There is no need to compete and strive. Life can be challenging but beautiful, and we need each other. God is at work in our lives, and sometimes we need the reminder and deft eye of others to point it out. So come in close again, and I will tell you like I tell my children. Jesus loves you. You are ok. You are important. You are special. You are loved.

—Sophia Howard