I admit it.
Once in a while, I love to check up on Facebook…especially when Kenny is watching baseball or golf while we relax in our chairs after dinner.
Browsing my feed the other evening, annoyed once again with the Phillies and their pitiful bullpen, a post from a sweet, young friend caught my eye. See what you think.
Wanted to share a little of what's been on my mind as I was taking a walk and praying this morning. I remember my pastor giving, a while ago, an analogy of a husband and wife who had a truck with a bench seat. In the beginning of their marriage, the husband and wife were cuddled up next to each other each day as the husband drove. Through the years, they got farther apart until, eventually, the wife was sitting all the way by the passenger side door.
One day she said, “I miss the days when we were so in love that we were inseparable and cuddled close." The husband replied, "I never moved."
My pastor went on to say how much this is like our relationship with God. God never moves but with disappointments, prayers not being answered the way we want, our lives not going the way we planned, people hurting us, injustice in our country, etc., we pull a little farther away from God—just like this wife did.
I was convicted this morning because I asked God for something and it didn't go my way so I felt like a little child that scoots away from her dad because He said no and it can start rocking our faith. But God never changes, He never fails, He remains steady and we need to pray and repent and scoot back next to Him in the driver’s seat.
Praying this can be an encouragement to someone today
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 8:35, 38-39 ESV
Thanks, Amy. Well said. I have a few observations.
1. I love that Amy was walking and praying. What a win/win on so many levels. What a perfect way to begin a day. And notice, when she made space for the Father, He clearly spoke to her, His beautiful, listening daughter.
2. God brought to mind a sermon she heard earlier. She puts herself in places where she hears Truth and that allows her to be reminded of what she needs during the messy or confusing situations of life that arise later on. She is already equipped for help and encouragement. Good plan.
3. I know her post isn’t primarily focused on that marriage story, but because I care so much about marriage, I think it would be a worthwhile exercise for couples to consider why a wife might be hugging the passenger door. Or a husband. Or both. Seatbelt laws? Personal hygiene? Bucket seats? Or something more? I know it is just a simple, hypothetical narrative, but I think a lot of us, if we were honest, can relate to it. So would you as least have a conversation about it? Would you discuss the distance that exists between you and your sweetie? Is there one? If so, why? What is in that space that is pushing you apart? There are a LOT of possibilities in this demanding, me-first, busy world we live in. Kids, in-laws, jobs, hobbies, finances, friends, sports, disappointments, unconfessed habits…you name it. Discuss how you, with God’s help and His grace, can rid your relationship of whatever keeps you from the good old days of snuggling together on the seat. Won’t you try? And here is a shameless plug: we have a Marriage Course and a Marriage Retreat coming up. Stay tuned for the information and join us!
4. God doesn’t move. But, oh, what restless, careless drifters we all are! Sometimes I think we will grab onto any excuse in the world to rebelliously pull away and go after other loves that cry out for our affections. Other times, the move away is so subtle and slow and unintentional, we are shocked to awaken one day and see how far we are from Him. Either way, whatever has filled the space between us—false saviors or deceitful loves, real and painful realities, foolishness and sin, laziness and busyness, hurts and unresolved conflicts, selfishness and lack of faith or knowledge—we find ourselves wandering, confused and alone, in the cold and the dark, out of fellowship with our Father…and His people. How we need to guard our hearts and our steps! How we need to stay close to Him! How we need His love! He never moves and He promises nothing can ever separate us from Him.
5. Scripture informed and substantiated her conclusions and thoughts. What a treasure we have in God’s Word. How much we need to know it.
So I loved Amy’s post for a lot of reasons. I’ve watched her grow up from birth into a wise and sweet woman who loves God, and that is a particular joy. I loved that she talks to God and listens for His voice…and learns. I loved that she reminded me of the blessings of faithfully being in God’s house, a practice instilled in me as a child by my godly parents. I loved her value of God’s Word. I loved thinking about how Kenny and I still enjoy snuggling together in the pick-up truck after fifty years of marriage (September 5!) and am humbly grateful to our Father for that. We have learned (well, mostly!) to toss those things that constantly try to push us apart out the window of the cab.
But I think I mostly loved the post because I needed it. This quarantine business has been a BIG and sneaky disruption and distraction that I didn’t pay attention to. The church, quite literally, has been scattered to our homes. We’ve moved. And I have become very comfortable watching the morning worship service in my nightgown, sipping my coffee, snuggled under my blanket. I take my notes, Bible open in my lap. It’s been good. I am close to God. But I am not at all close to His body.
Now I am not even hinting that God is only in our church building and we have left Him if we continue to stay home and don’t show up on Sunday mornings. He is there and He is everywhere…even in my cozy basement at 9 AM. But I am saying that the body of Christ used to be in our church building every Sunday and we hugged and chatted and laughed and cried and connected and worshipped and sang and cared and prayed and studied and built relationships. We had the opportunity to sit close. But that body is not in my house, sitting on my couch in front of my TV Sunday morning, and I miss it; I miss them.
And isn’t that what Amy’s post is all about? You can’t have a loving, lasting, meaningful relationship with ANYONE, a spouse, a child, a friend, or even your Heavenly Father, if you are holding yourself back, pulling yourself away, allowing anything or anyone to fill in the few inches or the gaping chasm you or someone or something has created, intentionally or not, between you. Paul Tripp says, “We are relational beings who have been called to lifelong community with God and others.” It’s difficult to love others sacrificially, to be in community, and to be a tool of God’s work and grace in other’s hearts and lives when we are miles apart. Nor can my brothers and sisters be that for me. How I need it!
As Pastor Diego reinforced on Sunday morning, some of us have very significant health/age/job issues and other pressing reasons for continuing to stay apart. We need to respect and support each other in that. For me, though, while I remain very careful in protecting my vulnerable in-laws who live with us, I think it had become just easier and more comfortable—almost like a new habit—to stay home and view church on my TV. But I don’t want my desire for ease and personal comfort to keep me from building or maintaining my dear relationships with my brothers and sisters at LFA. I know you don’t either.
I guess I’m humbly and kindly suggesting that maybe it’s time to carefully evaluate exactly what is keeping us apart and decide if it is a legitimate reason. Or is it something we should toss out the passenger side window?
It’s time for us to sit close.
We need each other…now maybe more than ever.
—Eileen Hill
*Please be advised that this blog represents the views, opinions and beliefs of the writer and does not necessarily reflect those of our church leadership or denominational affiliation.