A familiar scene plays out before me. A missionary stands up and shares their story about being called to a distant land and people, the crazy circumstances that lead to them follow Jesus to the other side of the world and the miraculous occurrences that allowed them to do so. Having grown up a pastor’s daughter, attended Christian school for thirteen years and Christian college for four years AND regularly attended church, I am “used” to hearing these stories. However, they never get old or cease to amaze me. As the person speaks I feel as though I experience a Walter Mitty type zone out as I envision myself playing with orphans and feeding the hungry. I can share my gospel story with such eloquence and fluency (in another language no less) that people are moved to tears and I am no longer awkward. This is all in a days work on my adventure with Jesus.

Usually after these moving experiences as I come back to reality, I feel discontent. Especially in college, my posture before God would evolve something like this. “God I am open and willing to go anywhere you want me to. Home is where you are.” Silence. “I am willing to risk it all like the missionary said and to leave my family and friends”. More silence. “Have I mentioned I like adventure God?” Finally I would resort to being that little kid in elementary school who desperately wanted to be called upon to give the right answer with their hand up waving franticly. “OOOOOO pick me. Pick me!”

After college, I looked into doing an internship overseas and an extended missions trip that ended up not working out. Everything I looked into came to nothing. I came home. For a while I was devastated and feeling like a failure. How could I make a difference if I was here especially when I didn’t want to be? It was during one of my rants before God that he reminded me of something I prayed a few months previously. “My home is where you are God.” I had said that assuming that he would take me anywhere BUT home. “Really God? How could it be your plan that I would lead an ‘ordinary’ life? Isn’t there ‘more important/significant’ work to be done than just an 8-5 job?”

I wrestled with those questions, but it was clear that I was going to be here in Vineland for a while so I tried to put myself into it by investing in relationship with family and working hard. It wasn’t until I was venting to one of my good friends on the phone about how hard it was to stay put and how I wanted to go and do bigger and better things that I received some clarity. She prayed over me, “Jesus, show Sophia that you are the same. You are the same God that works miracles in the lives of people whether she goes or stays.”

It clicked for me after that prayer. It isn’t all about me. God doesn’t need me to do great things for him, but he allows me to come with him as HE does great things. Therefore, I don’t have to be in control. If He is at work, then no matter how seemingly ordinary the circumstance, it is significant and important. If the emphasis is on him then it doesn’t matter where I am.

This is particularly freeing news to me as a new mom when most of my days seem ordinary. In the mundane moments I am reminded that I can be fully present and engaged now and HERE in Millville because:

- GOD IS GREAT: So I don’t have to be in control.

- GOD IS GLORIOUS: So I don’t have to fear others. (I don’t have to make my life sound more epic for fear of what people think.)

- GOD IS GOOD: So I don’t have to look elsewhere for my satisfaction. (I don’t have to wait until “ bigger and better“ things happen to prove this. He is good regardless).

- GOD IS GRACIOUS: So I don’t have to prove myself. (I don’t have to do more in order to be good enough. I am good enough because of Jesus.)

-- Caesar Kalinowski, The Gospel Primer

Finally, GOD IS HERE: So I am home.