90 Days of Myths and Lies, Pt.1

(By Thor Knutstad)

Days 1-31 (part one of three)

1. The self love and self esteem movement is completely biblical. (No, it's not, not at all. It is not commanded nor inferred as choice or volition. Identity is the biblical trade off here. Real. Identity. In Christ.).

2.  Showing off our good works and what we give or do for others is okay. (No, it's not. In fact, we are told not to do this with the motive of display and that announcing it loses reward - yeah, gotcha! Hard, I know! Watch your FB feed for this one - a grievous sin missed by many and all!).

3.  We can't have deep joy and heart wrenching sadness simultaneously. (Yes, we can. See Proverbs 14:10, then think practically).

4.  Men and women are essentially the same in function. (No, in essence of nature they are similar, but not in function. The distinctions are vast by God's very complimentary and useful design in creation - praise Him).

5.  Authority should be replaced by opinions (Um, no).  Age is hated and grey hair isn't esteemed (No, wait?!).

6.  The rewards of saying 'yes' are countless and saying 'no' is never painful. (Um, are any of you raising kids? Yeah, I thought so; let your ‘yes’ BE ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ BE ‘no’).

7.  People should understand what I explain to them. (Don't be fooled by this; there will be misunderstanding and misunderstood and incomprehensible and 'not caught' moments - often!).

8.  Shame and guilt are good motivators of right behaviors. (Far be it from me to judge how God sometimes uses this but it is not the 'best' motivating factors for repentance).

9.  It is okay to fear people and situations because everybody worries and has some anxiety, and its normal and popular. (It's destroying our hearts, people - stop being so afraid of stuff!  In your fear, like King David, cry out to The LORD - and don't walk in fear! See 1 Peter 3:6 and know that you are Sarah's daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. Don't. Give. Way. To. Fear).

10.  Worship is about music and what I see/hear/taste/touch/experience. (Worship is about the position of your heart to bow before a worthy, praised and glorious God - yes sometimes in music and song, but it is the posture of my heart).

11. The prosperity gospel of health and wealth really isn't harmful to the real Gospel of Jesus. (See 1 Corinthians chapter 15 - um, yes, it is!  Do not be deceived, people. Be Bereans and check the Scriptures to see if what others are saying is true or not - Acts 17).

12.  I can abuse some freedoms that God gives me because they don't master me, and He will always forgive me. (Whoa! Don't be a stumbling block, and grace doesn't increase more when you sin like that!! And freedom isn't ever a license!).

13.  It's okay to live on television, cell phones, game systems, tablets, the Internet/web, laptops, computers etc. (‘Nuff said, no words here. All guilty on some level).

14.  Electronics and the Internet shrink the world and keep me connected in a community abroad. (No, they don’t; they feign intimacy and interfere in what is real and close and near you).

15.  I know what's going on in the world because I read it in a newspaper, saw it on a major news channel, or on FB. (No, you don’t, not really. How informed you perceive yourself may make you more blind).

16.  FB is relationships.  FB is not an addiction.  (FB is NOT relationships and FB is an "alarming" new time addiction for the current culture).

17.  The lament of sorrow is a display of weakness.  Tears are even weaker. (#realmenfeelandcryasdowomen. We are commanded by Jesus to grieve with others and go to houses of mourning not to parties - wow!).

18.  All pastors and preachers and spiritual leaders know the Bible and have the intended heart of God to shepherd people and speak truth. (Actually, there are fewer speaking the WHOLE counsel of God and really doing justice to the heart of the Gospel - praise God, the Word is spoken and proclaimed here).

19.  I don't feel things when I read the Bible like I do my favorites stories, novels and shows. (Have you really embraced the Savior?  Is your heart in a position of worship when you read or listen?  #softheartshaveeyestoseeandearstohear)

20.  It's okay to eat out 4-5x's a week, be given a plethora of food choice and be served. (Hmm - the Son of Man came to serve - what are we teaching our kids?! Ouch!!).

21.  The immorality of others doesn't affect me. (what a lie!).  Or my own immorality doesn't affect others (a even bigger lie yet!).

22.  My children aren't curiously using social media wrongly in text, pictures, videos; nor have they viewed or sent anything that is not appropriate. (Yes, they are and have and are tempted, often, daily).

23.  My anxieties and worries and fears aren't really 'sin.'  (Yes, usually they are - for the most part).

24.  Everybody is busier than me so it's okay for me to have small or no margins in my schedule (X!! Wrong! Margin and rest are necessary!).

25.  I don't have to cry out to the LORD to experience His presence, fuller dependence or His deeper purposes. (Hmmmm).

26.  Fear is a stronghold that is nearly impossible to beat. (No, no, no!  Greater is HE our King Jesus!).

27.  The Gospel shouldn't ever offend people. (Um, what Bible version are you actually reading? Are we ashamed of Jesus?!).

28.  My words aren't REALLY 'that' important.  What's all this talk about "stewarding words" with timely and apt and wise replies?  That's just too hard to do all the time! (Steward/manage your words folks; it's how you guard your own heart, too).

29.  My body image and appearance of physical health is tangibly more important than the spiritual and the heart. (Oh my gosh, we have traded the heart for the flesh. See Galatians 5-6 - why would we live this death and not want to live life?!).

30.  What's all this talk about ambiguity and complexities? Most situations are easily solved, and most problems we face can be terminated/eradicated with simple solutions. (Wow! Problems and struggles and lives are actually very complex, AND ambiguity is actually healthy as it guides us toward a raised shield of required faith!).

31. BONUS - I like all the noise and commotion around me.  It's normal and keeps my mind occupied from other worries and sadnesses and thoughts. (Why do we run from silence, solitude and simplicity?!)

Thor Knutstad

Does Father's Day Discourage You?

Father's Day is 4 days around the corner. How do you feel about it? What thoughts does the day bring to your mind? Whether the day brings discouragement or it brings your heart to a point of celebration, you may find this short blog a source of good perspective. Thanks to the desiringgod staff sound bites like this one can help us approach Father's Day with a renewed perspective. To read the blog click here. May God encourage you with realistic hope.

Sincerely,

Diego Cuartas

"I'm Not A Good Enough Mom"

I went for a run yesterday with my Nike running app on my phone that tracks how long I run and how fast I go.

And I started thinking to myself: "Why in the HECK do I use this thing? If I run slower than I did the day before, I'm honestly not really able to push myself to run faster. It's like I should just get a thumbs up sign on this thing for just being out here, trying."

So I started brainstorming what a good running app for MOMS could be like. What if there was an app that said (through your headphones) "Great job! You're doing AMAZING!" instead of "Point five miles completed, average time <insert how fast you're running>." What if instead of pace and distance, the app measured how long it took you to get the kids and yourself ready, your tiredness level, how many pounds you're pushing in your jogging stroller, wind resistance, your personal level of motivation and how freaking hard it was to actually make yourself get your butt outside? What if it spouted phrases like, "I'm so proud of you! Just having your shoes on is a WIN! That you're even trying is success!"

Good idea, right, mommas? ;) You know you'd buy it.

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A few weeks ago was Mother's Day. I like Mother's Day because I like getting treats. I like that my husband stops by Dunkin' Donuts to get me an iced mocha latte. I like cute cards from our children, and I like lots of hugs. So Mother's Day is pretty fun for me.

But Mother's Day also carries with it a darker side for me...and I'd guess it does for a lot of moms.

This year, I ended the day crying on my husband's shoulder at bedtime. All day long, I had had this subconscious BAD FEELING floating around in the back of my mind: "I haven't done good enough as a mom. I am not a good enough mom. I don't spend enough time listening to them, giving them enough attention, playing with them, being affectionate enough with them. I'm failing as a mom." I felt compelled to ask my husband, "Do you really think I'm a good mom??? I don't feel like I'm good enough." The question made me burst into tears...and I realized how pervasive that feeling is of "I haven't done enough, been enough, to be a good enough mom to these precious children."

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I think my mind needs a change of gears just like I was imagining for my running app.

I feel all this pressure to do more, to be more, and it's never enough. But what if God is truly GRACIOUS? What if He's not disappointed with my progress? What if He's more like that Mom's Running App that I was picturing: "I'm so proud of you! You're out here giving this mothering thing your energy, your time, your effort. You're doing so well"?

Honestly, I'm still 'on the hunt' for what God thinks about me and my mothering. I'm in the stage of realizing that I feel that I haven't done enough pretty much all the time. I feel like: "Whoa, I didn't even know I felt this so often." And I'm planning on thinking that through and asking God for some insight into His feelings in the coming weeks.

But there are some things that I DO know. Here are three:

1. God Himself has entrusted these children to ME. Not to anyone else. He wanted their lives to be shaped and formed by my life. He could have given them to anyone else in the whole world, but He gave them to me.

2. That Numero Uno that I just wrote is a big one, because I tend to think of myself pretty consistently as the 'crap parent.' My husband happens to be both an elementary teacher, as well as a person who is very gifted in working with children. He's able to see through a lot of extraneous details into the heart of what's going on, as well as what needs to happen. I don't have the years of teaching that he does, and I just don't have the gift to see things as clearly as he does. My kids will ask me a question in a whiny voice, and I don't even hear the whine. I just reply. My husband, though, will realize, "Oh, they're whining. We don't want to reward whining. They're probably whining because of this, this, and this. Here's how I'll address the current whining, and here's how I'll proactively nip the whining in the bud for the rest of the evening by changing this, this and this." What the?!?

So as you can imagine, I think of myself as the sub-par parent who messes the kids up.

But when I can remember that God chose to give these two goofy ganders to ME, guess what? My perspective starts to change: I realize that my husband brings what he has to give to our family. But he CAN'T bring what I have to give to our family. He's not a woman. He's not ME, with my thoughts, my background, the way God speaks to me. I would conclude that if I don't have the same giftings as he does, then I bring nothing of value. BUT WHAT I BRING IS VERY SIGNIFICANT AND NEEDED. God entrusted these lives that He knit together so carefully into my care as well.

3. But saying that I'm significant and needed doesn't rule out my need to grow. It doesn't mean I'm perfect. If leading my children doesn't come naturally to me, that doesn't mean that I can just say, "That's just the way I am." It's like there are the two extremes: concluding I'm worthless because I'm not the same as someone who has certain obvious giftings, or deciding that because I'm significant, I can just stay the way I am, with all my weaknesses and my kids just have to deal with it. THERE'S A MIDDLE GROUND! I can learn from my husband's strengths. I CAN ASK QUESTIONS! I can intentionally look to grow in areas where I'm not very strong. I can ask him what he thinks through as he leads our kids. I can LEARN. And the only way to really learn is to go back to number two and reject the conclusion that 'I'm not good enough if I'm not perfect.' Only when I'm OK with who I am and the strengths and weaknesses that I have, can I genuinely ask for help in a healthy way. Only then can I truly grow.

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So these are the things that I already know. If you agree with them or like them, maybe you should go to the App Store and look up "Gentle and Kind Running App for Moms Over 25"...just kidding! ;)

Sarah blogs regularly, connect with her at www.somuchhope.com 

To Judge or Not to Judge; That is the Question

When I quit smoking, it was because of God. I was playing guitar for a seventh grade girls Sunday School class (no, I am not a musician; EVERYONE played guitar in the early 70s). Along about then, God clearly convinced me that I should not go in there smelling like an old ash tray. So that week I just threw it all away: cigarettes, case and lighter. And because it was all God, I was able to go cold turkey, and was never ever tempted again.  That was wonderful, but that’s not my point today. The whole thing was quick, it was clear, and it was totally effective. And that’s because no one else messed it up.

No one had judged me for smoking. No one looked down on me. My good friend who taught the class (who was also Principal of the Christian school) obviously did not feel that my nasty habit precluded my participation in her class of impressionable girls. And any non-smoker can attest to the fact that one needed only to be in my vicinity to know that I smoked! I was living proof of the wisdom of Romans 14: 3 and following:

    Accept other believers who are weak in faith. Don’t argue with them 

    about what they think is right or wrong. God has accepted them. They

    are responsible to the Lord, so let him judge whether they are right or

    wrong. And with the Lord’s help, they will do what is right and receive

    his approval.

In spite of having grown up in church, I was a new believer.  And I was accepted and loved, faults and all, which is exactly the way it’s supposed to be.  

We are responsible to judge those within the church.  We are supposed to be able to discern sin (1Cor.5:12). But more important than anything else, we are told to love. Our motivation makes all the difference in the world. Are we coming from a critical spirit, or from a desire to heal and uplift? We are told that it is a very good thing to be one who turns a fellow believer from sin, and that many blessings follow. That can only happen with love. And if any of us cannot approach that sinner without anger and condemnation, then we are definitely not the one to approach him at all. 

Paul tells us not to judge the world, that God will judge them, that unless they change they are judged already. But of course the whole import of evangelism is to do our part in effecting that very change! And although we need to be able to see what is wrong, there too the most winning approach is surely love. My dear little friend Sherly Giglio put it best: “We have to love them where they are, don’t we, Norma!”  And she was so right. Without love our message is not received, cannot be received. Without love, we are building walls, not bridges. “I really love you, but …” is not acceptable. The Word does not overreach in telling us so much about the absolute necessity of sincere love for those we would reach for Jesus, both saved and unsaved. If you pray for anything, pray for love.

If, all those years ago, I had been met with disapproval and distance, I don’t know where I would be today. Surely saved, because when God calls we answer. But not then, and not there. And who knows, I might have missed many years of fruitful service to my Lord and Savior, all because someone messed it up. 

ICU

(By Lois Robinson)

When I was a teenager, I lived on a 25 acre farm and raised African Pygmy goats, as well as an assortment of dairy goats. I would travel for hours with my mom to buy good stock, breed them responsibly, then sell them to responsible owners. I loved it! I still love to watch those crazy videos that come over social media, namely Facebook, with baby goats hopping wildly all over the place. It just cracks me up! 

Well, one afternoon, while my mom and I were out in the yard mowing or some such thing, my goat Alfalfa began to holler in a typical “goat stress” manner! He was a 100 lb. Toggenburg with big horns. I typically dehorned all of my goat kids when they were only 2 weeks old (kid is the name of a goat baby) so children would not get hurt, but Alfalfa was an adult when I got him. He had fallen into the septic tank! Actually, it was a homemade septic tank that my grandfather made 100 years ago on the farm. It was hand dug with an old wooden lid on it with an old wooden fence around it. Alfalfa had successfully gotten through the fence and fell into this gross mess. Both my mother and I dropped what we were doing and fled to the scene. Here was Alfalfa, thrashing about in this nasty, stinky, bacteria-filled septic pool. Remember, he was about 100 lbs. I will never forget it. My mom, who weighed about 130 at the time, grabbed that goat by one horn. The scene looked like something right out of the movie Hercules. She lifted that 100 lb. goat out of that septic tank with one full upward motion. I can still see it today, 45 years later. I then rushed in and used my index finger to swipe any nastiness out of his mouth. In the process, he bit me. Goats grind their food sideways so it was not a straight down bite. It was a shredding type so I had to go to the doctor. He did declare my presenting issue his first goat bite! 

This blog, entitled ICU, is actually  not about the goat bite, but I use this true story as an analogy illustrating some of the important steps in our own healing journey. 

Step 1. The I stands for Identify In many cases (not all, but most) in order to have healing in your life, you must Identify the specific issue and state with your mouth what  you need healing from. From the above story, we identified that Alfalfa was hollering because he had fallen in the septic tank, a place he did not belong. If he stayed there he would die. When I go a restaurant and the waiter says, “Can I take your order?” I need to identify and state out of my mouth what I want to eat off the menu. In the bible, people approached Jesus to heal them. He would ask, “What is it that you want me to heal?” They would have to identify the issue and state out of their mouths what they wanted healing for. Notice, this is not a passive response but a proactive one. 

Step 2. The C stands for Confront-  Identifying the issue is not enough. If mom and I just saw Alfalfa in the septic tank and did nothing proactive, he would have died. We had to step up and deal with the situation. Praying the whole time, I knew neither my mom nor I would be strong enough to lift that goat with mess all over him, out of that  deep hole. But God! God gave my mom the strength not her own to accomplish something good. When we are willing to identify our problem, our sin, our issue and desire healing in that area, we must call out to God to give us a strength not our own to proceed in the confrontation, the battle ahead. With the goat, it stunk, it was ugly, it was scary, it required more than either of us had to give. But God. We were not afraid to confront the situation. We didn’t run from it nor did we deny it.  We did recognize our limitations and cried out the the Almighty One, our God, and we won the victory. 

Step 3- Notice in the last step I used the word WE a lot.  The U stands for Unite. When desiring transformative healing in your life, you cannot do it alone. You must identify it and state it out of your mouth.  You must confront it with others and unite with others to face the battle ahead. You must also recognize you are created to live in community, meaning with others around you. Even if God has made you to be an introvert and crowds exhaust you, you still need to live in community in the way God leads. In the goat illustration, my mom needed to be the one grabbing him up out of that septic tank. I was right there, as her teenage daughter, praying for her and my goat! I witnessed something that my Mighty God did that I will never forget. I was there to swipe his mouth clean. I got bit in the process, but that happens!  For any of you wondering, Alfalfa lived for many years after that, and I have learned that my God has lifted me out of some deep septic tanks I jumped into. I had to learn to recognize that I couldn’t stay in them or else I would die. I praise my God for my Savior Jesus who died for all my septic tanks and yours.  Check out John 3:16 in the bible. 

Blessings, Friends- Lois