Redeeming Stubbornness

On this particular day I’m realizing how quickly we take things at face value and forget the Spirit inside us. 

Fine. I’ll take back the “we.” Maybe you do an excellent job of listening to the leading of the Holy Spirit each and every day and you can skip down the end. 

I almost always forget to listen to the Holy Spirit. 

I am also a person of passionate, quick opinions. I will not hesitate to call what I see as good, bad, right, wrong, stupid, hilarious or insufferable. I’m like a mutant version of Adam in the Garden; name it and move on to the next. 

Everyone has a reason for why I’m so opinionated; in fact, they have quite strong opinions of their own. It’s because I’m Italian. It’s because I’m a woman. It’s because I’m from New Jersey. Or (most fearful of all) it’s because I am the dreaded Italian Jersey Woman. 

I think it comes from the deep, stubborn essence of my soul that likes to make decisions and stick with them. It’s there and it’s who I am. I have to believe God has it there for a reason other than scaring small children; a holy tenacious purpose. When stubbornness is used for good, it changes names and becomes “tenacity” which sounds much holier. 

I’ve realized that in the crossroad of my forgetfulness of the Spirit and stubbornness-not-yet-fully-redeemed-to-tenacity there is a huge problem: this isn’t how I am supposed to live. I miss so much when I scurry about and never stop to listen to the quiet force of the Holy Spirit. I miss so much when I make an opinion, call it true and move on. Jesus never called me to be a species that takes things at face value and lives my life contently bobbing on the surface. It definitely isn’t how I am called to love His people. 

On a daily basis, I walk around thinking I understand people and making judgment calls on who they are and what they do and whether it’s right or wrong- and I do this because I think I have them pegged. In reality, I know nothing. I don’t know the pain they carry every day or what they deal with at home or what keeps them up at night. 

What if I took the time to stop and listen to the Spirit’s quiet, persistent nudges? Maybe I would also stop and listen better to the people around me, what they are really telling me about who they are and how they need to be loved. 

As the lazy, lounging days of summer approach, my heart needs to spend some time hanging out and taking a look around. I’m going to pack up my quick opinions with my winter clothes and give slowing down a chance. 

Jessica Noblett

PREPARING GRADUATES TO CONNECT THEIR FAITH WITH THEIR FUTURE CAREER AND MORE

I want to recommend this article to those graduating from college, considering graduate school or any next steps in employing a career or vocation. The gospel coalition is a good place for blogs that offer good perspective and information. I hope you find this one helpful.

Diego Cuartas

To read the blog follow this link http://thegospelcoalition.org/article/preparing-graduates-to-connect-their-faith 

Walking In Rest.

(By Thor Knutstad & Diego Cuartas)

Rest. We crave it. We rush to it. We plan how to rest in a furry of activity and we invest in it feverishly. But we misdefine it. Rest is not time off. Rest is not the weekend nor a break nor a vacation. Rest is actually my calling - daily. Rest must be my mindset. My friend Nate uses the phrase "walking in His Rest" as a statement of calling and command. When I walk in God's Rest, I do not bow to anxiety and fear. I do not seek power over situations that are out of my control. I do not fret over circumstances. Instead, I trust my God and entrust myself to Him. Rest, or unrest, displays who or what rules my very heart. It's almost Monday, but will you walk in His Rest? 

In A Pilgrim Song, found in the 131 chapter of the book of Psalms, we can see the relationship between rest and hoping in God: (The Message)

God, I’am not trying to rule the roost,

I don’t want to be king of the mountain.

I haven’t meddled where I have no business

of fantasized grandiose plans.

I’ve kept my feet on the ground,

I’ve cultivated a quiet heart.

Like a baby content in its mother’s arms, 

my soul is a baby content.

Wait, Israel, for God, Wait with hope.

Hope now; hope always!

Reflection:

• When do you experience the most rest?
• What role does God play in that rest?
• What would have to change for you to find rest in God?

Stepping Stones

by Dara Born (guest blogger)

It was a Wednesday morning, September 6, 2000. I sat in a hospital room surrounded by my family listening to my mother’s breaths become further and further apart. We were huddled around her bed telling stories and laughing. Nobody voiced it out loud, but I am sure we were all full of hope. Not the hope that my mother would soon fall into the arms of Jesus and be in glory for eternity, but rather the hope that we were going to get our miracle and my mother would be healed. Cancer free. Coming home. What we were praying for was good. It was righteous. God would grant us our desires, wouldn’t he? Nobody even noticed when my mom took her final breath. We were being silly, telling jokes…a typical “Terry” gathering. Our laughter was interrupted by Russell’s voice “I don’t think she is breathing anymore”…  

Me & Mom with "cancer-do"

A year earlier we learned my mother had breast cancer. At first I was shaken, deeply saddened and confused. Those feelings were quickly replaced. I began to tell myself “lots of people get breast cancer…it’s no big deal…she will be fine.” My mother was gentle and kind and loved God deeply. She had faith she would get better, therefore I was convinced she would get better. I gave myself permission not to think about it anymore. I started to attend CMA that year because my mom asked me to. I wanted to make her happy. It was during this time that God began to open my ears to His truths, His promises and His love. One week, Pastor Nate spoke about “drawing near to God and He will draw near to you.” It was many years since I felt close to God but I began to desire it. How? How do I draw close to God? 

…a nurse came into the hospital room. She checked for my mother’s pulse, pushed a few buttons on a machine and stepped quietly out of the room. My mother was gone. She was not healed. She was not cancer-free. She was not coming home. But even so, the room was filled with a strange sense of peace. It surrounded me. It hugged me. Is this what “a peace that surpasses all understanding” means? Is this God? 

Within a week I was back at work and trying to function in my new reality. I was still going to church and I was still wondering about “drawing near to God.” Then one week, Pastor Nate said, “use your struggles as stepping-stones, not stumbling blocks.”  Wow. Everything inside me screamed to grasp this, to understand it, to change my old ways, to allow God to give me new ways to handle pain. All the struggles in the last 10 years of my life appeared in my mind and I saw myself using each one to stumble deeper and deeper into a world of darkness. Then I saw myself in a new picture. I was using stepping-stones and climbing up. I whispered to Russell, “I want to do that. I want to use the stepping stones.”

                    Mom & I

So began a 13-year journey of me drawing near to God and God drawing near to me.  

In Pastor Greg’s sermon on Mother’s Day he said to allow God to take the old to birth the new. God took my old ways of negative self-talk, my old patterns of escaping pain and He showed me a new way. A better way. His way. 

By the way, my mother is healed. She is cancer-free. She is home. 

DONE

One of my classes informed me yesterday that they were officially DONE for the year. I teach Language Arts to high school seniors, so this wasn’t news to me. At this point in the year, the prom is way more important than poetry. Actually, pretty much ANYTHING is more important than poetry to these students.

My typical teacher answer was that just because they FEEL done doesn’t mean they ARE done. We still have plenty of school days left, whether they have the energy or motivation for them or not. Feelings don’t change the reality of the calendar.

This is an issue many of us face, sometimes daily. Being DONE. With pain, emotional and physical. With lousy circumstances. With uncertainty. With lives that aren’t what we want. Sometimes it’s just all too much: too relentless, too agonizing, too isolating.

But life and its demands move on regardless of the exhaustion. Jobs need to be done, houses need to be maintained, kids need to be cared for, bills need to be paid. There is no time to be at the end of your proverbial rope.

I have felt DONE many, many times lately. I have found the daily grind of work, home, and other responsibilities to be overwhelming in the middle of the difficult journey of grief and loss. Like my students, I have wanted to proclaim that I officially quit for the month, week, or year. 

As Pastor Greg has preached the past couple of weeks, I have been intrigued by the character of Hannah. Biblical characters are normally two dimensional to me, people who have done great things for God through their faith and goodness but are really too good to be real people. They are people I admire but can’t be.

However, taking a close look at Hannah’s grief experience has given me a new angle on which to view her. She, too, had the feeling of being overwhelmed with loss and sorrow. She was “done” as well…to the point of having no other option than to throw herself on the ground in prayer, weeping. As Greg stated in his sermon, hers was not a pretty situation or pretty prayer. It was messy and had no easy solution.

BUT Hannah throws herself on the ground in prayer anyway, despite the mess she is in. I cannot help but think of what I do when I am overwhelmed. Is prayer my first reaction to being “done”? Or is it a last resort after I have tried all of my other coping mechanisms and control techniques? Usually, I find myself trying to manage the situation before I go to serious prayer. I’m not willing to seek God first in what Greg called the “confusing in between,” that space where the purposes of grief and loss are unclear.  

And it isn’t that I don’t WANT to seek God. I don’t want to actively turn my back to Him. It is a matter of not prioritizing what needs to be first when everything gets to be too much to handle. Going to God in my grief and panic needs to be a default setting, an automatic reaction to stress and pain. That will only happen when I remember that everything that happens is under the jurisdiction of our loving God.

The only way to avoid feeling done is to go to the One Who has already done everything I need to live a fulfilled life under His grace, one day at a time.  

Nancy Vasquez

Pain and Loss: Learning How to Walk in it with 1 Crutch....What a Mess it can Be!

(By Lois Robinson)

I’m not sure if any of you have ever described yourself, your circumstances or your relationships as “What a Mess,” but I certainly have- just recently, as a matter of fact. And on the heels of that realization, I thought, “Gotta write a blog about this one!”

Below is a little summary of the set of circumstances that enabled me to have such an insight on my “beautiful moment of self messiness.” Maybe this can become a new diagnostic code in the DSM-V, who knows!

Along this physical journey there have been many twists and turns, a lot of unexpected developments and diagnoses, new specialists to meet with that I never dreamed I would have a need for, waiting rooms with people that are in deep levels of physical, emotional and psychological pain. All along, I’ve been trying to weigh how to live on mission in all these different venues God has allowed me to be in, with the very present reality of my own deep levels of pain and loss. 

About 9 months ago, my orthopedic surgeon let me know that I would have to be referred to a pain specialist in order to develop a plan to manage and control the high levels of pain I live in, with the right leg and back, due to the Arthrofibrosis/Ankylosis Disorder I have. It is a collagen disorder that causes my body to produce massive amounts of scar tissue each day, which I must battle on a daily basis to break adhesions, particularly in the knee itself. Due to this condition, my kneecap frequently gets scarred down, stopping the whole right leg from having any strength at all as muscles atrophy and reflexes stop. Therefore I am in the need of the crutch(es) constantly. There is no cure for this rare condition that was triggered at the time of my total knee replacement. All I can do is continue to have surgeries each year, if I so chose, to remove all of the scar tissue and free up the knee cap, so the leg can begin working again and build muscle back.  But that will trigger the scar tissue to build again from the surgery procedure. Some have had up to 15 surgeries to beat it. I explain all of this because some of you have been so kind to ask what is really going on while some felt uncomfortable asking.

So, as I went to my first pain specialist, I was VERY nervous. Though I kept saying verses, praying and talking it through with my community of people I surround myself, I was still very anxious. Here is a glimpse into my thought process. Maybe you can relate.

WHAT IF:

1. The doctor thinks I am crazy? 

2. The doctor blows me off when this is such a HUGE thing in my life?

3. The doctor really doesn’t understand and takes me down a wrong road?

4. The doctor acts like he gets it but doesn’t?

........and the list goes on and on and on......

Do any of you relate to this wonderful rabbit trail of WHAT IF’s?! Notice none of it was founded on truth of any kind. Also notice how much POWER I was assigning to the doctor, as if he were the only one who could SAVE ME in this. WOW! I’m just sayin’. What a MESS!

 So I went, and he was wonderful! He was very compassionate, listened to my story, reflected back that he showed he understood, made his recommendations and we both agreed to the plan. The plan was great! And it managed things as well as can be expected. I got levels of healing because of that experience.

I went each month, followed the agreed upon treatment plan with an added dry needling technique that the PA would perform into all the trigger points across my thoracic back area to control spasms. As I walked through the door last month, they informed me they didn’t take my new insurance which would mean I had to find a NEW doctor. UGH!

I also needed to follow up with my primary doctor, and the nice lady at the desk told me my primary had unexpectedly retired. I had him for 35 years. UGH!

I got new health insurance, needed a new pain specialist and a new primary doctor all at the same time!  What a MESS…or so I thought.

Well, as the story unfolds, I have honestly been so anxious inside from having to find the right doctors for my particular set of circumstances. It is not an easy task. But through it all I continued to pray for wisdom, discernment and  the right doctors, while I gathered recommendations and surrounded myself with community, leaning into Jesus and His promises. This last month was a very stretching time for me. The price of medications as well as doctor’s visits had climbed into triple digits each month. The new insurance had brought a whole new set of deductibles, etc. UGH? What a MESS…or so I thought.

You will hear it said over and over again here at LFA, “Jesus specializes in our MESSES!” This is a huge truth to hold onto. I know these things, teach these things, pray these things and believe these things. But somewhere deep inside me, I did not believe these truths; otherwise I would not have been giving so much power to the doctors and stressing so much.

This Hymn came to my mind today after I picked up new meds, saw the new pain specialist and made a first appointment with the new primary doctor:                      

1. What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear! What a privilege to carry

everything to God in prayer! O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer. 

 2. Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere? We should never be discouraged;

take it to the Lord in prayer. Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?

Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

 3. Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care? Precious Savior, still our refuge;

take it to the Lord in prayer. Do thy friends despise, forsake thee? Take it to the Lord in prayer!

In his arms he'll take and shield thee; thou wilt find a solace there.

What occurred was this:

1. Medications were reduced in price by 50% due to new insurance. Praise God!

2. New pain specialist visit was reduced in price by 50%. Praise God!

3. New pain specialist has new options to try as we go along to help manage pain better. Praise God!

4. Will visit new primary doctor in the next couple of weeks. Maybe I will update you on the blog next month!

Friends, it is not enough that God showed me where I was going wrong; I now must ask for forgiveness because it is sin in my heart that fears man and assigns them any kind of ability to save me. Only Jesus can do that, so that sin is idolatry. I must also actively take steps of repentance in these areas of anxiety and idolatry. It would be wrong for me to celebrate the insights without recognizing it as sinful patterns in my thinking that needs to be repented from.

What I do celebrate is these verses:

Romans 8:1- "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,"

James 5:16- "Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."

Blessings to you, Friends, and be a Blessing to someone else!

SUFFERING AND SANCTIFICATION

"Believing that great good arises out of great hardship, we can experience joy in adversity."

Read the whole post or watch the video here.

The Power and Perfection of the Word of God

(By Diego Cuartas)

I am drawn to the comparison between creation and the law of God. More specifically, between the perfection and effects of the Sun and the perfection and effects of God's revealed Word. The comparison between these two is unavoidable and very accessible to all humans. Perhaps there is more in creation that can help us know the character and nature of God than what we may realize on any given day. Looking at comparisons is helpful to us given that there is a tendency to be blind or be blinded by lesser realities. One of them being the fact that we are too easily satisfied--at least I am.

Let's look at the sun, not lietraly though. Is Psalm 19, the writer (the Israelite King David) tells us that that God has "set a tent for the sun" an he goes on to describe how this sun operates:

[the sun] comes out like a bridegroom leaving his chamber,
and, like a strong man, runs its course with joy.
Its rising is from the end of the heavens,
and its circuit to the end of them,
and there is nothing hidden from its heat.

The sun runs a circuit and it does it like a champion who is confident and joyful. Nothing threatens its purpose or role in the universe. Another observation is that the sun's presence is evident to all and it does not depend on what humans or the rest of creation thinks about it or in their ability to acknowledge it or accept it. Furtheremmore, the sun's influence is irresistible and nothing is hidden from its heat. Interestingly that the writer does not say from its light and heat. I supposed anyone can hide from the sun's light but not from its heat or ability to warm our earhtly globe.  I finding delightful that King David couches this dscription of the sun within the bigger context of a universe that has been created to declare the glory of God pouring "speech" through the amazing characteristics of created detail. He, as he does in describing the sun, emphasizes the fact that all of creation becomes another voice for God. A voice that speaks how glorious God, the Creator is.

Let's turn now to the Law of God with a warning in mind: the sun will seem considerably smaller when compared to the spoken and revealed Law of God. Consider these verses:

7The law of the  Lord is perfect, reviving the soul;

the testimony of the Lord is sure,

making wise the simple;

8 the precepts of the Lord are right,
rejoicing the heart;

the commandment of the Lord is pure,
enlightening the eyes;

9 ...the rules of the Lord are true,
and righteous altogether.
10 More to be desired are they than gold,
even much fine gold;
sweeter also than honey
and drippings of the honeycomb.

11 Moreover, by them is your servant warned;
in keeping them there is great reward.

It is amazing what we can experience as we interact and apply our minds and hearts to what God says. The Word God speaks has the power to make places of our soul alive. The presence of sin has a way of numbing or killing things God intends to be alive in us.

The Word of God transforms my simple knowledge into wisdom. The presence of sin has a way of blinding me to self, God and others. Furthermore, it causes me to misinterpret the situations I face on a daily basis.

The Word of God brings true joy to my soul. The presence of sin combined with my limited humanity often drives me to see life in a hopeless way or in a very temporal-bound hope way.

The Word of God helps me to see reality as God sees it, from where He sees it. The presence of sin disables my capacity to see well. I don't mean disabling as if we did have at some point the same capacities God possesses with regards to knowledge, but more in the sense that if humanity could consistently live under God's authority and His Word perhaps we would see more accurately as a pattern.

The Word of God pronounces and decrees and activates what is the best and most worthy in the whole creation. The presence of sin corrupts my heart into thinking that I know what is best or I can determine what is best for me.

Lastly, the Word of God warns me and paves the way for a great reward. Reward in two ways: the reward of experiencing God's best for my life and others as well as the reward of God himself. The presence of sin has a way of making me live in the moment and the pleasures or safeties of the moment without consideration of what my choices can bring about. That same sin presence of sin bends my heart towards immediate rewards that are so often meager crumbs of life.

For further thought...

1. which voice or voices have most influence in your day to day life?

2. what do that voice or voices promise to you?

3. how do that voice or voices compare to what Psalm 19 says about God's voice?

4. what results do you see in your life as you follow your own voice or voices of your choice?

A Little Perspective

I have a secret.  It's not something I'm proud of, and it's not something I tell too many people.  OK, deep breath... I have been listening to conservative talk radio.  It's been going on for a few months now, ever since football season ended.  But it's not what it seems, I promise.    

I have been thinking a lot lately about perspectives.   How do seemingly intelligent people, armed with the same facts about any given subject, come to polar opposite conclusions? How can very smart people be atheists, and other very smart people be Christian, not to mention all the very smart people of other religions.  Or take any number of issues in politics.  Passionate people on both sides of the argument seem to have the same end goal in mind, but the debate quickly becomes a name-calling contest, with both sides accusing the other of being out of touch and ignoring the facts.  The level of vitriol that exists in politics almost negates any positive influence it may have. 

Like I said, I have been listening to talk radio lately, but is not something new for me.  I used to listen pretty often, and at that time, I largely agreed with the opinions being broadcast.  A lot has changed since then, and my social and political views have shifted pretty dramatically.  So listening to it again gives me a whole new perspective on some issues that I thought pretty much every intelligent person agreed on.  I'm not going to go into any of those issues (sorry political people), but I do want to share what I've learned about myself and about perspective in general. 

I realized pretty quickly, as I was yelling at my radio, that it's tough to love someone if you think they are an idiot, or more precisely, if you don't value and respect their opinions. And it is very difficult to value opinions if they are the opposite of your opinions.  Our natural tendency is to dismiss them as wrong, without much further thought or insight.  Everyone should agree with me, because I'm right. The funny thing, for me at least, is that my own opinions have changed over the years.  What I felt very strongly about a few years ago, I now believe the opposite.  I find that I can identify with the guy on the radio, even if I think he's wrong, because I was once where he is.  Believe it or not, keeping this in mind really helps to see where he is coming from, even if I don't agree with him. 

I often see Christians who lack perspective.  Hard line anti-this or that, up on their moral high horse, making it look like Christ's love is the last thing on their mind.  When we are so opposed to some amoral behavior, we often lack the perspective to say, "I was once where he is." If you intend to follow Jesus, then your desire to have people behave morally must be secondary to your desire to love them.  Remember Jesus socializing with sinners?  He knew that loving them would make a difference in their lives, so he didn't care what the religious leaders thought.  They were concerned with making sure everyone followed the rules and morals of society. 

Recognizing that we've all been there, in the exact condition that the people we are looking down on, brings a sense of perspective.  "Love the sinner, hate the sin" is a favorite saying of the morally superior crowd, but moral superiority very often gets in the way of loving people.  I wonder if Jesus would have eaten dinner with those people that Christians tend to marginalize, like atheists, LGBTs, drug addicts, adulterers, illegal immigrants, Muslims, drunks, prostitutes.  If we keep them at arm's length, while Jesus embraces them, how can we say that we are sharing the love of Christ?  

Jeff Hyson