Living Faith Alliance Church

This Will Have to Do

This Will Have To Do does not equal God’s Best For Us

It is part of our human nature to make assessments and determine what we think is best for us in a given moment.

The other morning as I was getting ready to go to work in the morning, I realized I had too many things in my hands. The day was cloudy, and it was raining very lightly. I placed several items inside the car, started the engine and before getting into the car I noticed the trash can needed to be brought in from the curbside. Since I did not want my glasses to get wet, I proceeded to take them off and placed them on top of the car. I went out of the garage, took care of the trash can and came back into the car—completely forgetting that I had placed the glasses on top of it. I drove out of our drive way and as soon as I approached the intersection, I hear a noise that was familiar, but I dismissed it thinking it was a twig caught underneath the car. Then on a second thought, I suddenly remembered that my glasses were on top of the car! I pulled over, and I was so thankful to find my glasses caught in the spoiler in the back of the car. I thought in retrospect what a stupid choice that had been. What would guarantee that I would remember something that was not a routine for my brain to quickly be prompted about again? 

Allow me to take you back to the exact moment when I took off my glasses and placed them on top of the car. I remember thinking for a split second, “This is not a good idea, but it will have to do.” Thankfully the outcome was not a loss of my glasses or the destruction thereof.

How many times in real life do we know what God desires for us to do, in order to choose life on his terms, but we tell ourselves I have a different idea of how to make this work and “this will have to do”? Have you been there? I have. And in some cases the consequences were less than desirable. I can think of occasions in my parenting where, in the midst of being angry at my daughter, I would recognize the option to slow down and think before speaking—which the Holy Spirit would offer to me in the moment. But what would I do? Regretfully, I would go right ahead and plow her with my words, and then pick up the pieces. Or the time when I was single and I refused to heed to the message God was giving me through several people about ending a relationship I was involved in. Convinced of how helpful that relationship would be in addressing some relational insecurities, I told myself again, “This will have to do.” Later on I had to deal with some painful consequences, including the pain I caused others in the process.

There is no question in my mind now that sin runs really deep at the point where we, very aware of our own destructive and proud choices, tell ourselves, “This will have to do.” If there is one strong deception sin brings with it all the time, it is the lie that the reward is worth the price even if it kills us in the process.

Here is were we go dead wrong. We talk ourselves into believing that what we deem sufficient or good at the moment is better than the life God offers us graciously. In the Bible, King Solomon affirmed it this way: “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” (Proverbs 14:12).

So the next time the message plays in your head, “This will have to do,” I encourage you to stop, think and question that message. Then consider this better message pronounced by God: 

 

“Come, everyone who thirsts,

    come to the waters;

and he who has no money,

    come, buy and eat!

Come, buy wine and milk

    without money and without price.

 Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread,

    and your labor for that which does not satisfy?

Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good,

    and delight yourselves in rich food.

 Incline your ear, and come to me;

    hear, that your soul may live;…”  —-(Isaiah 55)

 

 

 

The Art of Hearing

Here is how it unfolded today:

  •       I am kindly reminded I have a blog due for LFA tomorrow.
  •      A great recommendation from my best friend comes my way: How about you do it on “The Art of Hearing,” and I respond, “YES! That’s great!”
  •       I then begin to think about that word HEARING, as I usually do when it’s blog time. Trying to see a neat acronym or some such thing that will draw the reader in!
  •       Well, the coolest thing hit me: HEARING, in the verbal form, is accomplished through the EAR! The word is embedded into the middle of the word HEARING! Isn’t that interesting? Somebody do a word study and let me know if there’s any significance to that.

Anyhow, onto the blog for the week:) “The Art of Hearing”

I am going to do my best to practice the art of communicating well. And boy did it take practice.  The other piece is the Art of Hearing, the one that this blog will be focused on today.

I find that one of the biggest mistakes we make when it comes to hearing someone else, is the practice of conjuring up a whole litany of defense statements/excuses to come back at the person talking to us in order to get the victory in the “courtroom,” especially in conflict situations. Most of us do not like to be criticized due to the fact that we think we rarely do anything wrong! Therefore, it would not be our fault, which would avoid having to say, “I’m sorry for these things”, plus it requires the offender to take responsibility for their actions. It doesn’t stop there for people who follow Jesus. Also included in the Confession (I’m sorry for...) is repentance, which means turning away from that very thing that hurt the other person. It is a beautiful process of reconciliation that God has created for us to walk through when hurts arise. But, none of this can occur without learning how to really, I mean REALLY, listen to the other person.

A way to gauge how well you listen to someone else is to try this exercise. It’s called “Parrot Talk”. Here is how the exercise goes:

  1. There will be the speaker (the one who has been offended)
  2. There also is the listener (or the hearer for the sake of this blog)!
  3. The speaker will follow this pattern: I feel ________________________ because you did not listen to what I was really saying about the issue I’m having with my boss (a feeling word is one word, ie- happy, sad, angry, etc).
  4. The listener will then follow this pattern: I hear you saying that you feel __________________because I did not listen to what you were really saying about the issue you are having with your boss. Is that right?
  5. The speaker can then say, “Yes. That is what I am saying.”
  6. Sometimes, most times for that matter, I have worked with couples that it doesn’t go this smoothly. Most people, unless they have intentionally worked on the art of hearing, do not hear others well. Listen for people’s feeling. Listen to what they are saying to you, instead of creating immature arguments so you do not look so bad. All of us want to be heard. And when you know the other person has really heard you, is mature enough to take the responsibility that belongs to them, and work on the issue together, that is one of the basic building blocks of developing relationship.

There are times when I know I am not going to be a good listener when someone asks me to talk. It is my responsibility to set a boundary by letting them know that I am very interested in what they want to talk about, but now is not a good time due to my limitations (time, tired, etc.). At the same time, it is also my responsibility to give them some options of when I would be available to discuss things. In that, I have sent the message that I care. So in this case, it would be very important that the person, other than myself, be a good listener. That way they do not leave our interaction feeling blown off, since I did communicate how important they were, as well as the content they wanted to discuss.

I would encourage you all to check out these verses that have impacted my walk with Jesus is learning the Art of Hearing.

James 1:19 ESV “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;”

 Proverbs 12:15 ESV “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.”

 Proverbs 18:13 ESV “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.”

Proverbs 19:27 ESV “Cease to hear instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge.”

 Proverbs 5:1-23 ESV “My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge. For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps follow the path to Sheol; ...”

Proverbs 18:2 ESV “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.”

Be blessed friends and thanks for reading! 

Why Do We Pray?

As we begin a New Year, our thoughts can easily turn to the “essentials” of life. What are some realities I would like to regain this year? Perhaps you are thinking better stewardship of finances, healthy habits, relationships, personal growth, and the list can go on. Whether prayer is or is not on your list, I want to encourage you to read David Powlison’s blog. In this blog, Powlison explores what makes prayer drift from our lives, how do we communicate with God, and why do we need to pray in the first place. I found his insights refreshing and inspiring. Click here to read the full blog.

May God give you grace to help you enrich your communication and dependency on Him!

The Legacy of Pop

On December 31, 2016, New Year’s Eve, my mom’s dad, my beloved grandfather, went to be with the Lord. We had just visited him a few days before around Christmas, and he greeted me with a warm joyful smile and said, “I’ve been waiting for you to get here, Thor.” His aged frame was thinner and his hair was almost completely gone. His frail body was about to release his spirit to the Lord. There was a sense of peace and of joy. His full life was about to enter real fullness. He was on the doorstep of Heaven’s eternity. He died on New Year’s Eve.

Most of my personality traits come from my parents. My dad was a hard worker and loved people. He had a caring spirit for others and readily gave. My mom, besides raising us and teaching us the Scriptures (my mom made us memorize verses and passages), was a disciple and counselor of many women. She led many studies, prayed for many, and I watched our home and her time as a revolving door of discipleship.

FullSizeRender.jpg

My mom’s dad, my grandfather, AKA Pop, lived a few miles from us, with my grandmother. This was a privileged heritage (for me) to have my grandparents for 45 years. My grandmother, AKA Gram, just had her 87th birthday right after Pop passed. We spent a lot of time with them when I was growing up. Pop was a house painter, a carpenter, and an artist. In fact, he is (was) a world champion duck decoy carver. His decoys, which look very real, are considered by some to be some of the best ever. Every Christmas, Pop would take his son, his daughters, and his grandchildren, to the shelved wall and say, “Choose.” Sometimes he would pick one for you. Often, you just chose. These ducks were 120-150 hour labors of love. He gave out of what he did best. Tears would flow because no one could match his decoy gifts. They were valuable but had no price. They were in essence, priceless. This steady man who painted, worked with wood and carved like a genius, also hunted and fished. I won’t tell you how many times I fell in the spillway in the old Milford, Delaware, only to have Pop pull me out laughing. He wasn’t mad. He just laughed and would take me home to get changed. Then we would go right back out. My grandfather was a slow man. He was steadfast. He gave gifts of time and of wood, painted wood that has a beauty that is completely unparalleled and unmatched. You knew he loved you. I knew he loved me- and it was just because I was his first grandchild.

Pop’s life wasn’t without battles. He served in World War II as a medic in Normandy and throughout Europe. He battled alcohol the first half of his life, only to repent of this with some major pressure from Gram. I don’t recall him ever drinking. I see him in his chair and at his workshop desk, carving and etching and burning and painting under a bright light those decoys, those beloved priceless masterpieces. And I suspect that The Great Carpenter, our Savior and Lord, Christ Jesus, has already showed Pop a thing or two and made his work even better than here on earth.

In Memory of Roland Downes (1922-2016)

FullSizeRender (1).jpg

I Need MORE Christmas!!!

If there's anything I need to hear after the Christmas season this year, it's MORE of the Christmas season.

I'm not talking about hearing more requests for every single toy under the sun from my children, or more 'Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,' or more hilarious quotes from Elf, as much as I enjoy (some of) that stuff during December. OHHH NO! Along with the rest of America, I'm so over that version of Christmas now that it's January.

But what I desperately do need to hear, deep in my weary soul, is more of the message of Christmas as I move back into my regular post-holidays routine: Immanuel, God With Us. 

I desperately need to hear 'God With Us' as I switch back into the daily grind of my first year of homeschooling my two girls.

I desperately need to hear 'God With Us' as I look around the mess of a house that just went through Christmas and a trip to West Virginia, and I know the hours and effort it will take to get it all back to normal.

I desperately need to hear 'God With Us' when my natural tendency is to let my patience run thin with my children.

I desperately need to hear 'God With Us' when there are things in our marriage that I'd rather just ignore, but my husband and I need to talk out.

I desperately need to hear 'God With Us' when I don't understand what's going on inside of me, and I feel overwhelmed by my emotions.

I read a devotional thought from Paul Tripp a week or so ago that resonated with my need to know that Immanuel, God With Us, is still with MEtoday, in the middle of the everyday things that threaten to overwhelm me:

“Jesus is named Emmanuel, not just because he came to earth once, but because he makes you the place where he dwells every day. This means he is present and active in all the mundane moments of your daily life.

In these small moments, he is delivering every redemptive promise he has made to you. In these unremarkable moments, he is working to rescue you from you and transform you into his likeness.

By sovereign grace, your Lord will place you in ten thousand little moments that are designed to take you beyond your character, wisdom and grace so that you’ll seek the help and hope that can only be found in him. In a lifelong process of change, he is undoing you and rebuilding you again - exactly what each one of us needs!”

— http://www.paultripp.com/wednesdays-word/posts/new-year-new-you

I love that thought, that the things that overwhelm me, are not necessarily my fault, or something that I should change and fix, but I can, instead, view them as graces from Immanuel, God With Us. He is intentionally and graciously bringing me to points where I am "beyond my character, wisdom and grace"...so that I look outside of ME...to HIM.

So that's what I really need to hear after the rush of the holiday season: MORE of Christmas. 

Powered by Squarespace