(By Diego Cuartas)
Whether we all use the same word to describe the need for change is not as relevant as the fact that as human beings we all understand what is implied by the expectation to repent or change. Not everything about us—our thoughts, words, attitudes or actions—is admirable! There is always room and a need for change—in this blog I will call this repentance.
I remember the days when my two brothers and I would get into playing rough and loud, and my father would warn us that if there was not a change (repentance) in our behavior we would experience physical consequences that usually involved pain. What my father was calling for was a change of our behavior at the moment. Remember the warnings you received from a teacher, your parents or perhaps a friend? Some of us have even experienced the warning offered by a law-enforcement officer while driving on a road where we ignored the law of the land!
I have personally experienced many moments in my life in which my intent to repent was very superficial at best. Perhaps with the help of others I saw that there was a need for repentance in my life, but I only pursued such repentance to please others or pacify them in some way. I knew deep in my heart that though I was modifying my behavior I had remained the same person. So my brothers and I at times were lucky to calm down and avoid my father’s punishment, but deep inside we did not want the authority of our father over our lives in that moment—especially if his authority was bringing limitations to what we considered our wants and freedom in the moment!
May I suggest that in order for repentance to be good—effective and fruitful—we will need a more comprehensive approach to repentance. Let me explain. As human beings, we constantly display behaviors, but the reality is that we are more than behaviors. We are creatures with a command center that God has made with the capacities to desire, belief and strive. And at the core of these dynamics is our capacity to treasure or worship. What is true is that our behaviors are always in sync with what is happening in our command center—our hearts. So to speak of repentance and and pursue a repentance that is good, effective and fruitful, we need to consider both the behaviors and the heart.
Think of it this way: behaviors are indicators (or the fruit) of what is really happening in our hearts.
Good repentance will always require that we consider a journey into our hearts by using the path that our behaviors afford us. Let me illustrate through a personal simple journey:
I am making statements that are not my real opinion in a given conversation with a friend.
I am sensing that what I am doing is not sincere and therefore fake.
I am experiencing the guilt that comes with this moment.
I am now considering why I am doing this. Why am I not saying what my sincere opinion is?
As I follow the path of my behavior, I start noticing some desires, beliefs and agendas seeded deep in my heart.
I am noticing that I desire acceptance, not rejection; I see that there is also a belief in my heart that says, “You will not be safe if you tell the truth” and another one that says, “You will miss life if this person rejects you or disapproves of you.”
As I keep following the path into my heart, I also see that my agenda is now to control the conversation in order to secure the outcomes I really want.
Can you see it? In order to experience repentance—change—in who I am, I will need to consider both my behaviors and my heart. Good repentance then will lead me to explore and understand my behavior in light of my heart. Furthermore, good repentance will probably translate into addressing the wrong (idolatrous) desires, beliefs and agendas that rule my heart.
Good repentance is not something that happens in a vacuum. And it is not something we do within the confines of our own understanding and wisdom. A bigger, wiser and holier being than us will have to be our reference point and helper. In order to treasure or worship what is truly good and admirable we will need a transformation that only God can offer.
Stay tuned. Good repentance is possible!
