I couldn’t find Him. And I looked everywhere.
How could I lose Baby Jesus?
I was humming “Joy to the World” as I busily pulled my Christmas decorations from the stacks of boxes in my dusty basement. I smiled with pleasure, joy truly flooding my heart, as I rediscovered the charming Thomas Kincaid nativity set that I had inherited a couple years earlier. Because we had visited family out of state the past couple of years, I had only minimally decorated our home for Christmas. I had forgotten all about this beautiful gift.
Now this is not an ordinary creche with its traditional figurines. A dear elderly friend of mine with very limited means had splurged on this particular set, purchasing pieces of it separately over several years. And it has lots of pieces—all packed in a multitude of crumbling Styrofoam containers. Exquisitely crafted, sacrificially obtained, it was quite precious to her and she wanted me to have it when she was gone. So now, of course, it is very precious to me.
Thank you, dear Mildred.
I hauled the boxes upstairs and packed up all the dishes on my hutch to make room for the rustic stable and all the handsome figures. Beside the familiar cast of characters and creatures, this incredibly large nativity set includes a centurion, a multitude of various angels, and even the little drummer boy. There are even some figures I don’t recognize.
I was down to opening the last squeaky box when I realized I had not found Baby Jesus nor the manger. A massive search party of my whole house ensued…one that lasted for days.
I simply could not find Jesus.
And that gave me pause. I thought about it a lot.
In fact, it overshadowed my holiday season. It became the overarching, ever-present question or theme that replayed in my head like a stuck old LP record.
Where’s Jesus? Where IS He?
After all, isn’t He the singularly most significant figure in that stable, in the whole scene I so carefully arranged? Isn’t He the central focus of the entire Christmas celebration? Isn’t the holiday pointless without the Christ child?
Very good questions that prompted some very thought-provoking answers.
I was desperate to find Him, to put Him where He should be.
So I determined I would…even if it wasn’t in some forsaken, spidery corner of my basement. Or in the manger on my hutch where I thought He belonged.
And, you know, with my Father’s help, I did find Him. Over and over again in the hustle and bustle of Advent. Here and there in places I never expected to find Him.
He was exactly where He belonged.
And I am most grateful.
I found Him in the unexpected and paralyzing moments of grief over facing family holiday gatherings without my big sister for the first time ever.
I found Him in the busyness of shopping, food preparation, decorating, wrapping, planning, and cleaning for a house full of company, my most favorite and exhausting enterprise of the year, a season when I regretfully often overlook Whose birthday it is in my bustle.
I found Him in the quiet moments of my tearful prayers for so many that I love who are not looking for Jesus at all and for those whose physical and emotional and relational needs are crushing them and breaking them, whose days may not be so merry or bright.
I found Him in the laughter and warmth and blessing of just sweetly being together with the precious ones who are mine.
I found Him on the floor of the bedroom where I held my dear mother-in-law, waiting for help to get her back up to bed. I found Him with her the next day in the helicopter that air lifted her to Cooper because of a nasty stroke. And then when she had another. I found Him in rehab with her, holding her near as she struggles to make sense of what has ravaged her brain so heartlessly.
I found Him in the middle of my fear concerning my mother-in-law’s future care and the weight of that heavy responsibility and my very obvious inadequacies.
I found Him calmly and patiently whispering to me as I navigated my stress-related vertigo and double vision issues that threaten to take me out.
I found Him in the strength and prayers of my loving husband and my wise children and theirs. I found Him in the brilliant, star-studded winter sky. I found Him in the Advent messages delivered so powerfully the weeks leading to Christmas. I found Him in the glorious and compelling traditional Christmas music that touched my soul. I found Him in thoughtful unexpected gifts and cards of friendship. I found Him in the intimate dinner shared with my Pastorate family. I found Him in the middle of the devastating and crippling news of wars, fires, earthquakes, riots, murders, abuses, shootings, injustices, feuds, inflation, crooked politicians, rebellion, addictions, divorce, betrayal, cancers, and mental illness.
I found Him in all these moments, in all these sorrowful, uncontrollable, mundane, confusing, exhausting, hopeless, or happy situations of life.
Why?
I was looking for Him.
“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13 ESV)
Like the prompted shepherds, like the curious wisemen, I sought Him this Christmas. Relentlessly.
Because, unlike those obedient seekers, I already knew where He was and Who He was…and is. I even knew that I needed Him. I just needed a gentle push, a subtle reminder.
His name is Immanuel. God with us. GOD with ME!
Amazing. Humbling.
Oh, so helpful.
Because this is so not about me.
It is about the object of my search.
It is all about HIM and Who He is.
Because of His timely disappearance from my creche, my gracious Father reminded me of the importance, no, the urgency of finding Jesus, my Savior, in every moment of every day. Especially the busy ones when we are so easily distracted and our hearts are so carelessly wooed away to lesser gods. Especially the dark and pain-filled ones when we are groping for answers that just aren’t there.
But He is.
The Babe left Bethlehem in the dust and turned His lovely face purposefully to the cross. His earthly life was lived to accomplish the Father’s perfect plan to restore a broken and wayward world back into stunning relationship with Him.
In fact, in John 14:23, Jesus says, “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” Did you get that?
And we have a myriad of other verses in His Word that promise His nearness, His tender care, His love for those who have placed their faith in Him as Savior and King.
He is here. He is with you. Really.
Call off the search party.
Be thrilled the manger is empty.
Bow your knees in gratitude and raise your voice in adoration.
You can experience a very different 2024 if you fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith story. Diligently search for Him in every moment, in every situation of the year. See what He is up to and join Him. Look for paths where He is leading you and follow. Rest in His care and protection. Listen to His voice and hear His promises.
You will find Him.
He isn’t hiding.
Just be sure you are looking.
“Seek the LORD while He may be found; call upon him while he is near; (Isaiah 55:6)
—Eileen Hill
