I am a serial list maker.
At any given point in time, I will have a dozen scrawled lists wadded up in my purse. And ten more scattered by my chair or stuffed in any available orifice in my car.
I love them. I live by them. I need them.
So Christmas is especially fun for me. Lists of seasonal activities to get on the calendar. Lists of chores to accomplish in December. Lists of party foods and groceries to buy. Lists of Pinterest ideas to try. Lists of recipes to find. Lists of Hallmark movies to watch. Lists of Christmas cards to send. You get the idea.
But best of all is the Christmas gift list, quite necessary for a Grammy with more than a few grandchildren who need the perfect gift. Like Old Saint Nick, from Thanksgiving on, I’m making my lists and checking them twice…and many more times after that!
So, the other evening, perusing one of my master copies, I took out my marker and began checking off one name after another. Check. Check. Check. I was feeling pretty proud of myself. Gift Shopping Mission nearly accomplished, and it wasn’t even Christmas Eve.
From out of nowhere, I heard my younger me singing in a long-ago Christmas program in the magical, darkened and decorated little church of my childhood.
“What can I give Jesus? I want to do my part.
What can I give Jesus? The love of all my heart.
My hands and feet. My money too. My praises and my songs.
I’ll give them all to Jesus for all to Him belongs.”
Memories flooded over me and tears stung my eyes. That mini-Eileen meant every word she sang, ever-so-slightly off key, that distant night. Like the mythical Little Drummer Boy, she knelt at the manger, staring with adoration and wonder at the babe she already knew as her Savior, and anguished over what she, a shy, empty-handed child, could possibly give Him, the One she loved so very much.
She didn’t even have a drum, so she lisped Him a song the very best she knew how.
I thought about that night and the words of that sweet song and wondered at how I so simply resolved the question back then. But did I ponder what else I could give Him? Besides my praises and my songs, the lyrics suggested I give Jesus my hands, feet, money, and the love of my heart. What would that look like?
I probably made a list!
1. Dry the dishes and pull weeds. Hands.
2. Run to Dodge’s Market for Mommy. Feet.
3. Empty my piggy bank and send my coins to India. Money.
4. Tell Jesus I love Him every day. Heart.
Check. Check. Check.
There were lots of tasks for a willing and obedient little girl to accomplish to show Jesus her love and gratitude. Especially at Christmas.
And I’m sure He smiled.
And aren’t there lots of tasks for willing and obedient big girls too? Certainly. But I’ve come to believe that my good works, as well-intentioned as they are, aren’t the very best gift I can offer my King.
Will I kneel at the manger and just adore Him?
As a much older and hopefully wiser girl, I realize that my God isn’t just asking me to legalistically check things off some grand, cosmic TO DO list so I can earn His attention and His favor—and maybe even my salvation.
What He really wants, the best gift I can offer Him, is the affection of my whole heart, the inner control center of ME. Essentially, I wrap myself up and lay me at His feet. Every single day. Not just at Christmas.
I then, out of loving surrender, live my life, plan my days, and make my lists, in pursuit of His Kingdom’s priorities and purposes. Because I love Him so much, I want to honor Him in everything, so I will gladly do what He wants (my hands!) anywhere I go (my feet!) and use my resources to bless others as I have been so richly blessed (my money!) by Him. And my lips will suddenly, uncontrollably burst forth in praise and song. Still a bit flat. But it all flows from my heart that is His, over-flowing with His gracious and unmerited love, love that He wants to spill out to others through me. And not just at Christmas.
How can we NOT fall at the manger and worship Him? How can we NOT give Him our whole hearts? How can we NOT place Him at the top of our Christmas Gift lists?
So what will you give Jesus? Your whole heart and all that goes with it?
I know it will make Him smile.
Even if your song is a little off-key.
—Eileen Hill
