I know I can’t be the only one. There have to be others who feel like me. Because all of us to one degree or another have been living through the same mess, day after day after week after month. And sometimes it seems like it will never end.
Since I am 89 years young, and check every box in the list of who’s most vulnerable, my daughter with whom I live, and who also is a hospital nurse, sent me out to Ohio to my son, to guard against the possibility of my accidentally picking up the virus from her. That was February. I came home the end of May, blessedly healthy.
I love my son dearly, but I also love my life. And I really don’t have much of it any more. And I know, I know, I shouldn’t complain. But I’ve so much missed my life. And so have lots of you. And that’s why I sometimes feel the way I feel.
But you know what? The wonderful other side of this coin is the way all this has drawn me closer and closer to God.
That is because there are things that I know.
I know that God knows each one of us intimately!
I know that God loves us beyond measure.
I know that God is completely and forever in charge of this world.
Lots of folks think that God is usually busy somewhere else and really doesn’t spend much time watching us.
WRONG.
God knows how many hairs are on your head and knows when one falls out! God knows when a single bird falls from the sky! Nothing occurs anywhere without God’s permission. And for us who love Him, everything that happens is for our eventual good. EVERYTHING.
So I realize that this life that I have loved and am living, even with all the changes, is God’s will for me right now. When I am called to remember this, I feel such a deep peace. I am not a worrier. I just don’t worry. Because I know, without any doubt, that God is running everything. Everything. He is just. He hates sin. He is the one who raises up rulers, and replaces them with others. When we are not satisfied with God’s timing, we need to remember that God does not live in time! What does this mean? I don’t know. But if He sees each sparrow that falls, how can we doubt that He is completely aware of each moment of our lives, and loves us, and wants for us only that which will bring us closer to Him?
So I need to get over my bad self, and remember who God is, and who I am.
Thank you, my precious Savior, for loving me even when I didn’t love You. I love You now. I will love You always.
—Norma Stockton
*Please be advised that this blog represents the views, opinions and beliefs of the writer and does not necessarily reflect those of our church leadership or denominational affiliation.