The Heart of a False Teacher: Wolves Among Us, Part 1

Earlier in the summer, my wife Lisa and I visited a "wolf sanctuary" near Lancaster, PA. I don't particularly even like wolves. In fact, they are probably my least favorite animal besides snakes.  During a small tour of the wolf sanctuary, I learned many interesting facts about wolves and wolf packs. But several particular facts about wolves stood out to me - wolves exist in packs usually with the dominant alpha male. They grew up together and they hunt together and they work together for the sole benefit of the pack. But this amazed me: it is a difficult thing, if not nearly impossible, to introduce a new wolf to a pre-existing pack. The wolf 'zookeeper' have made attempts to introduce an orphan wolf into various packs. If the wolves go at each other face-to-face, there's a good chance that this orphaned wolf can be assimilated into the pack. However, it doesn't usually work this way. More often than not, the alpha male will attack the orphaned lone wolf from behind, aiming for the back or the back of the legs or the hindquarters. If the pack attacks the wolf from behind, this wolf will have to be isolated from the rest of them - or they will kill it. Interesting right? It is clear that the wolf that attacks from behind and not straight on is the more dangerous wolf. Jesus told the apostles that he was sending them out like lambs among wolves. The imagery by Christ is quite fitting. We are his sheep - sheep of the one true shepherd, and wolves do exist. These creatures have instinctive attack and crave to devour their prey. The Old Testament false prophets were wolves - the New Testament false apostles were wolves - the false teachers in the church today are wolves as well. Satan's strategy through time really hasn’t changed much.

When studying the Scriptures, I did not find three nor five nor even ten characteristics of a false teacher. Instead, I found scores of biblical passages and dozens upon dozens (in fact hundreds) of wolf-like characteristics. First, false teachers and false shepherds are everywhere - they are not just on your television or on your Facebook feed. The Scriptures indicate that they have "secretly slipped in and crept in among you." They are not just national or international - they are local and regional. Now hear me here - my bold words are not meant to divide or call suspicion to anyone specifically. But I am making an indictment on false teachers for the sake of truth. We need to be Biblically conscious. Jude tells us that we will have to contend and fight with them. 2 Peter 2:1-3 also warns us about false teachers. In 2 Corinthians 11, Paul uses personal examples about how he dealt with their schemes. In 3 John, the beloved apostle John names the man Deotriphes and calls him out as a wolf who wants to be first. Paul adds further insight to us by dealing with dissenters in Romans 16:17-18 and Titus 3:9-11. Even Jeremiah 23 list the characteristics of the Old Testament false prophets. The Scriptures are not silent about wolves and false prophets and false teachers. The below list is only a function of what the Scriptures have to say about these existing wolves. I couldn't possibly list them all, but here are some traits of these ravenous wolves:

1.  They are 'among you'
2. Subtle and secretly crept in
3. Secretly introduce destructive heresies
4. Bewitch people and mislead with manipulative information
5. Divisive and opposing; usually stand diametrical to something good
6. Denying Christ, which means 'saying no habitually' to the Lord Jesus
7. Many follow their sensualities, appeals and lusts
8. Malign the way of truth and distort the Gospel
9. Warped, perverted, literally twisted
10. Greedy and covetous, instinctively want more, hearts that are trained as experts in greed, replicate Ahab & Jezebel's covetous heart, exploit and make market of people for money
11. Bold, willful, self-willed, self-centered, self feeders, self-absorbed
12. Are a burden to the people financially and relationally
13. They want to be equal with the real shepherds; undermine real authority
14. Masquerade and disguises, pretenders, hypocrites; grand deceivers
15. They exploit people with made-up stories for greed and financial gain
16. Want to be first, desiring preeminent; 'first lust', push themselves to the front
17. Are not humble, truthful, loving or hospitable
18. Accommodate the lies/slander/false accusations & false Gospels, the culture, and sin
19. Reject real shepherds/real apostles/real prophets with hatred and abuses
20. Grumblers and faultfinders; overbearing; critical, demanding
21. Have an instinctive moral twist; literally perverted
22. Provoke fear and scatter the sheep; divide unto disunity
23. They follow evil and use their power unjustly; they use and abuse naive people
24. Strengthen the hands of evildoers and falsely accuse the innocent
25. They spread the contagion of ungodliness
26. They speak visions from their own minds
27. They are not sent by the Lord nor do they speak His Word
28. They give the people false hopes and falls visions and say mostly pleasant things
29. They deceive and lie; they are 'pot stirrers'
30. They do not really build trust, but rather they destroy trust through provoking division by slander/deception/false accusation; they release faulty info and cause great scandals
31. They pursue dishonest gain and turn godliness into a means unto financial gain, which is similar to greed and covetousness; they love money and they want your money
32. They use smooth talk and flattery to gain advantages over the naïve
33. They put obstacles and stumbling blocks in the way of others; causing hindrances
34. They serve their own appetites; bent on instincts and natures and lusts
35. They question authority and refuse to submit; they love to be in charge & in control
36. They are agents of disunity; they polarize and divide and create dissent
37. They are subtle in their operation and create much confusion; misleading
38. They hate being confronted or corrected; they refuse correction and are unrepentant
39. They tell cleverly invented stories that they've made up; they speak visions from their own minds; they promise freedom but really enslave people into blind spiritual bondages
40. They are nearsighted with no real 'Peripheral' for context or a wider view
41. They appeal to the senses (sensual) and provoke various types of lusts (not just sexual)
42. They live in sheep's clothing and disguise themselves as angels of light
43. They counsel rebellion and divide the people and even leaders
44. They propagate and reproduce heresy and error
45. They are not sent by God, and they distort the Scriptures and God's Word
46. -500.....

I just listed 45 characteristics of wolves as false teachers. The Bible lists hundreds of traits for them. God's Word also counters these negatives with positive traits of the true shepherds and true apostles and true prophets. The false one usually seems to be subtle, but usually displays insubordination andis indignant. They are immoral, but it's not just sexual but moral and ethical. They plot evil and revel in their glory and greed.  Again, my goal is not to create suspicion - but we need to be aware and conscious of the fact that there are wolves among us.  They may not display every characteristic that I've listed above, but they will have some, if not many.  Be discerning as a sheep. You Shepherds guard the flock. Listen to the voice of the one true Shepherd, for His call from His voice is in a different direction. He beckons us toward a cross, a resurrection, and an eternal hope that is the antithesis of every wolf. Leaders, guard your flock from wolves. One of our founding fathers, Samuel Adams, said this over 200 years ago, "A strongman is a fool if he lets loose the wolf without first dulling its teeth or pairing its nails. There is no accommodation of a wolf - ever." In our culture of tolerance, we have accommodated wolves. Sadly, many have done the same in Christian ministries and even in churches. And they will feed on sheep. Let it not be so, Lord Jesus. Help us fight off these ravenous wolves who are ferocious. Come quickly, Christ, our one true Shepherd. But the rest of us must contend with wolves, so stand firm and fight for this Gospel and the Savior Jesus who we called Lord.

[I recently preached a sermon on the above topic, which you can listen to here.]

Thor Knutstad, Pastoral Counselor 

My Pictures Look Magical, But I'm In The Trenches!

We started our first year of homeschool this week.

I put all the cutsey, happy pictures up on Facebook and Instagram. But do you want to know a secret? What I really felt wasn't all cutsey and happy, actually. Sure, I thought my girls looked adorable in their uniforms that we chose to have them wear to help them distinguish between playtime and school time. And there were moments when I thought, 'We're really going to enjoy this.'

But most of the week was overwhelming.

One morning I got up before the rest of the family to think about why I was so overwhelmed, and I realized that what I was feeling was that same old feeling that I've felt at other big intersections of being a mother, like: becoming a mom, staying home alone with two girls while my husband went back to work, potty training, sending my daughter to kindergarten (and therefore starting to embark on the 'letting go' stage of parenting).

It's that nagging feeling inside that I'm just not sure that I HAVE WHAT IT TAKES to do this part of mothering.

I remember when I first became a mother I really had to grapple with this. I kept thinking, "I don't know if I'm really CUT OUT for this, for being a mother. I don't know if I have it in me." It was a big doubt for me. I kept questioning, even up until my first daughter's first birthday, if I was 'cut out' for mothering. 

And I still question myself...all the time. Do I have what it takes?

Choosing to homeschool is making me face this question again. Am I smart enough to think through educational philosophies and understand what they entail? Am I wise enough to choose which educational philosophy and how I want my daughters to learn? Am I restful enough, still enough, motivated enough to be able to sit down and spend ALL DAY with my girls? Am I a good enough leader to be able to create a place of learning that is magical and full of wonder for them? Will I be able to explain things well enough to them that they learn? 

So as we climbed the stairs to our little school room this week, our pictures on social media may have looked magical to the world, but the feelings I had inside of me were certainly not magical. They were overwhelmed, concerned, worried, intimidated and unsure.

In the middle of my less-than-magical feelings, I read this little blurb on Instagram about an author that I really enjoy:

So I decided that even though my personal 'trenches' this September aren't as tough as announcing a separation, they are MY trenches. And I want to show up...'in the during.' In the middle of my process. Before I'm settled in my spirit about all the answers and all the comforts that will carry me through the school year.

So, for anyone else out there who is in similar shoes as me, who is muddling through their own 'during,' I'm just going to share some resources that have started to speak to my soul already.

The first is an article from Desiring God blog. I think alot of where I need to come to in my mind over and over and over again is the place of being ok with weakness- because it leads me to a place of needing God and crying out to Him. And relying on Him for all the things: wisdom, patience, energy, parenting discernment...it's such a good place to hope in Him. This article describes the beauty of weakness so well:

Embracing Weakness Will Change Your Life

In a similar vein, the next thing that is encouraging me is found in this blog post, Missional Motherhood. It's a short paragraph that gripped me when I read it. It reminded me of my 'place' as a mother, the ok-ness of my frailty: how right and ordained it is to be weak.

"First, we get a grip on being a jar of clay.

Not one mother can claim to have it all together. Being a fragile, common jar of clay means that we are free to enjoy and appropriate the sufficient grace of God and show the world that “the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us” (see 2 Corinthians 4:7–10). Because Christ’s strength is made perfect through weak moms, we are free to lose the pretense that we are self-sufficient moms. Instead, we can boast all the more gladly of our weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest on us and fuel our contentment (2 Corinthians 12:9–10)."

On the other hand, I ALSO need to come to a place of finding out that, as I call on God, I CAN do the things God has asked me to do...because He is with me and He made me and He has given me what I need to follow Him into these new areas. Essentially, I do have what it takes to walk into this new area, because God Himself promises and provides it. Here's resource number two, straight from God's Word:

Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.

Hebrews 13:20

I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfill His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.] 

Philippians 4:13

Lastly, there are a few songs that I've been listening to. I typically am most helped by songs when I actually stop all my other activities and multi-tasking and just lay on the floor...or go for a run or a walk...or sit on my couch and listen to the song. It's like I remember who I am in those still moments. It's like my soul was as dry as a desert and then it's being plunged into a cup of water and just soaking in the truth that it so desperately needs. Here are some that have been a good reminder of truth for me:

So there you have it. Some of the resources and content that have been helping good old "Mrs. Teacher," the new homeschool mom, grapple through this new adjustment, as I come up against the same old doubt that says, "I'm not sure if I have what it takes." 

May they bless someone else out there who is also hanging out in the trenches with me this September. <3

Dear Alathea

Although I have been out of school for years, I may be forever ruined by the school calendar. September always feels more like the new year to me than January. With that sense of newness comes anticipation and excitement for me. Change is in the air. There is a change of weather, change from summer routines and daily rhythms, change in clothing and decorations, new learning opportunities etc. Some years the changes are big. Last year we were anticipating my husband changing jobs and the birth of our second daughter, Alathea. Other years, changes may feel like minor tweaks or refining. Looking back on this year, September to September, I have experienced quite the gamut of both. In a little over a month my daughter will turn one, and with that realization comes all the emotion, memories and lessons learned this past year. The best way I could think to process that and share with you was through a letter to her. So here it goes.

“Dear Alathea,

Oh man. Here come the tears, haha. My little love, I CANNOT BELIEVE that it has almost been a year since you were born. Just this time last year, I still had yet to meet you, and having suffered much with my health during my pregnancy with you I was both thanking God everyday that you weren’t born early and yet wishing the days would speed by until your birth.

Your birthday came soon enough, somewhere between early and right on time. There you were, pink and perfectly beautiful with a cry that often sounded like you were heartbroken. Although you weren’t my first baby, I experienced so many firsts with you. For one thing, I got to hold you and snuggle you right away, and you stayed in my room with me the WHOLE time I was in the hospital. I didn’t want to put you down because I was sure that the doctors and nurses were going to have to keep you longer like when Savanna was born. I was trying to treasure all my little moments with you.

Even though you were the second, you were the first I experienced the newborn stage with. My first times up exclusively nursing in the middle of the night were with you. You were the first to sleep in our bed. After a few nights of little to no sleep, I wasn’t as worried about doing everything by the textbook.

You are the first and only you. Learning your personality and seeing what you bring to our family through your little life has been such a joy! You are such a gift, sweet girl. You are determined, and quietly observant but oh so smiley. You love your big sister. Just the sight of her makes you laugh.

You are so loved. God knew what he was doing when He gave you to us and to me. Your name means truth. And you, beautiful Alathea, are a living Ebenezer, a marker of God’s truth drawing close to us through your life. I feel like I get glimpses of what God feels about me when I look at you and Savanna: great joy, delight and compassion in abundance.

I am also learning again the beauty and significance of little moments. As your mama, sometimes I am tempted to think that my life is passing by in insignificant little moments of picking up messes, wiping boogers, endless nursing and laundry. Oh, the laundry! I get tempted to feel like I am not doing enough. However, since you have been born, I am realizing again (like a child I too am being patiently led by God) that you two girls are my greatest mission, and ‘…little moments are significant because they are little moments. These are the moments that make up our lives. These are the moments that set up our future. These are the moments that shape our relationships’ (Paul Tripp, The Significance of Little Moments). Life really is made up of little moments. God slowed me down during my pregnancy, and most days felt as though they were being lived moment to moment of being faithful to my diet and taking my medications. Day by day I relied on Him for strength. And today still, day by day and moment by moment I rely on Him for wisdom and perspective for my days.

It is my hope that one day you will be able to learn from me what I am being taught by God through being your mama. Alathea, the moments when I follow His voice when no one is around are important. The moments I choose to be fully present with you both over finishing my agenda are important. Life is made up of many moments, and though they may seem fleeting, in the grand scheme of things they are big.

I am so glad you were born.

Love, Mama”

Friends, may God grant us grace to live fully engaged. The “little” moments are significant and make up the richness of our lives.

Today

In my June blog, I wrote a little about my sweet dad. But I didn’t tell you everything. I didn’t confess just how annoying he was.

My dad was a morning person.

Some of my “worst” childhood memories are of Daddy waking me up.

A World War Two Veteran, Daddy loved blaring Reveille on his shiny trumpet at the foot of my warm and cozy bed. Really?

Or, as he shaved each morning before heading off to work, he belted out his favorite hymns loudly enough for all of Elmer to be evangelized and for me to cover my head with a groan. No one should be so pleasant at 6:30 AM.

But I think Daddy’s favorite strategy was to cheerily call from the doorway, “Rise and shine! This is a day that the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.”  Ah, the Bible dart! Straight from the Psalms to pierce and shame me. What’s a kid to do with that?

Daddy wanted us to “seize the day.” He taught us—and lived—that each day was a gift from our Father to treasure and use for His purposes. And we should be thankful for each one, no matter how rudely or how early we were awakened to it. It was almost like he knew he didn’t have a lot of time.

I’ve been thinking about that lately.  I officially joined the ranks of the proud, Medicare-Card-Carriers this month.  A few days later, I attended an unexpected, bittersweet funeral of a dear family member. There’s nothing like a few out-of-the-ordinary life events like these to get one’s attention. So I hit the pause button of my busy life. Speak, Lord. Let me hear from You. Let me get it.

 Words spoken at the funeral service to the grieving family are still echoing through my brain. The pastor reminded those gathered of Psalm 90:12. “Teach us to number our days…” Hmmmm. How am I doing with that? I’ve known to do this since childhood. Days are a gift to be stewarded, to be grateful for, to be lived for Jesus. Have I gotten off track? And, seriously, just how many days do I have left?

Moses, the author of this oldest of Psalms, seems to indicate that this awareness of our allotted time isn’t a natural exercise, that we thick-headed humans need a Teacher, a divine instructor to train us, to remind us that we are like grass that springs up in the morning, blooms and flourishes, but by evening, is dry and withered. He says that we then “fly away.”  Not something too many of us care to think about, is it? But we should. And when we do, we need to cry out for the Teacher who will “teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.”

I want to be wise in the use of my limited number of days, don’t you? If I am carelessly breezing through them with no real purpose or intentional goals, living only for my own selfish pleasures and desires with no thought for tomorrow or for what God has for me to accomplish on my journey here, I am squandering a very precious, priceless gift, one I will never be able to recover. It only takes a few moments to glance at my ink-covered calendar or to open my checkbook or scroll through my iPhone to get a fairly accurate assessment of what I am doing with the days—the minutes and hours—of my brief life.

I don’t want to waste them. And I don’t want to be too busy to be able to meet a hurting friend to talk and pray—or to cuddle my grandchildren or take a walk on the beach or to feed my birds. It’s not about busyness at all...or accomplishing great things. It’s simply about making conscious, deliberate, and informed choices about the best use of each day I have…for my Father.

I think I need planned flexibility. I need to thoughtfully schedule all the important events of each day along with all of my ordinary tasks--while recognizing the Father’s ultimate authority and right to revamp and reorganize my day any way He sees fit. I release my day to Him, discerning He knows what’s best for me, how I need to be spending the moments I have been given. I need to pay attention to His promptings, to the divine interruptions He orchestrates for me. Then, at the end of each day, with a gratifying sense of accomplishing my Father’s will, my heart will rejoice and I will rest in His good pleasure.

Often, early in the morning, I pull my quilt up around my neck and smile. I find I’m waiting for Daddy’s voice (or his horn!) to rouse me from my sleepiness and get me up to “attack the day.” What a precious memory that is now…what a blessing to have been given such an “annoying,” wise dad like him.

So today, I listen for my Heavenly Father’s voice. He, too, wants me to embrace today. I don’t know how many todays I may have left before His trumpet sounds. Now that’s a blast I can’t wait to hear…early morning or not.

How about you? 

Special Alert

B-Being

U-Under

  S-Satan’s

Y-Yoke

Each year I hear parents reporting on how they are preparing for the new school year. Filling up the calendar with important things like school of course, than the other possibilities: whether it’s sports, the arts, or any other variety of things that are offered to your children.

The temptation will be to fill up the calendar with activities for each child or else, in our culture’s mind, you will be labeled as a bad parent.

The sad truth is, I not only hear all of the activities that will be starting in the new school year, I hear these things as well:

• “We only have a chance to connect as a family when we come to counseling for the week because we’re so BUSY”
• “I haven’t seen my kids all week to be able to talk with them about our value system because we are so BUSY”
• “We were too BUSY to do our assignment for the week”
• “I haven’t gotten around to leading the family devotion because we were so BUSY this week”

The list could go on and on.

The belief that children will learn important life skills through having to participate on a team, dealing with conflict and how to be disciplined in a sport or the arts is very true. All of these values are present as I used to participate in team sports growing up. The art of discipline, hard work, dedication. But...when our value system is the Word of God, our culture cannot be the measuring stick that we look to in order to inform our decisions.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

In order to train a child it takes time. So I looked up the definition.

Time-

noun \'tim\ 

Simple Definition of time

: the thing that is measured as seconds, minutes, hours, days, years, etc.

: a particular minute or hour shown by a clock

: the time in a particular area or part of the world

Hmm....you can ask yourself, how much time am I investing into my children? Or am I unloading my responsibility of training them onto the school, sports or dance?

So what does this training word mean?

Train

noun

Simple Definition of training

: a process by which someone is taught the skills that are needed for an art, profession, or job

: the process by which an athlete prepares for competition by exercising, practicing.

The whole point of this blog is to help you take the time to prioritize your upcoming schedule, keeping at the forefront of your mind how you use this precious gift of time and training up your children. God gave them to you as a gift to train. They are really His and He has entrusted them to you in order to raise up Godly men and women to walk out their purpose on planet earth.

Once again, the Bible says:

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, friends,

Lois Robinso

Profile Of A Workaholic

This week I would like to feature a blog present by Ray Pritchard in the CareLeader website. I encourage you to approach the blog from two angles: seek to understand this life-draining dynamic and seek to examine your own life in light of it.

I can think of times in my life when I turned to "work" to avoid some painful reality or perhaps conversation I wanted to protect myself from. I used work for a purpose God not design it for in my life. This is what I mean by life-draining. 

I hope this blog resources you in some edifying way. Click here to access the blog!

Sincerely,

Diego Cuartas

Tattoos

Tattoos. What’s your take on them?  Do you like them? Do you have one? Do you like the multi-colored ones, or just black?  Flowers? Hearts? Flags? Or don’t you like them at all?

I have to confess; I have two of them. They were done fourteen years ago, when I was 71. But they are really, really small.

They are just two tiny dots to show the radiologists where to aim, because I had breast cancer. I suppose that I should have been more involved with my diagnosis and treatment, but I wasn’t. I was too busy. I did what they said and showed up when I was supposed to, but I just wasn’t really with it. I didn’t have the time or the energy. Because my husband was in and out of the hospital with esophageal cancer, and he really needed me to be there to help make important treatment decisions.  And I was exhausted.

We lived in Manahawkin, and my radiation was being done in the hospital there; he was in Jefferson in Philadelphia, 60 miles away. So I would get up in the morning, do what I absolutely had to do at home, run in to Radiology, and then drive to Jefferson to spend time with him; then drive home in the dark and wake up the next day and do it all over again, 5 days a week. On weekends, blessedly, there was no radiation, and I could spend all day at Jefferson. At the end, though, he came home in Hospice, and the day he died was the next to last day of my radiation. I kept my appointments.

This little short story is just a snapshot of the many times when we face situations we cannot change and don’t see how we can handle. How can we do it? Where can we turn?  I wasn’t   especially strong or especially anything. But I had the greatest thing in the world going for me. I had Jesus.

I know that ‘I can do all thing through Christ who strengthens me’, but that didn’t change needing to be in two places at once. But Paul also said, In Acts 22:33:  Pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

And It’s true. God CAN and DOES step into these situations and make all things possible. You can be frightened, you can be grieving, you can be angry, you can be totally overwhelmed. I’ve been in all of those miserable places and more, but when I prayed, and especially when I remembered all the times that God had already brought me through, I could feel God’s peace running beneath all the pain and confusion, strong and steady. His doctors became available when I could be there. I could do it.

God is so good. I am stubborn. But after enough times when I first tried to battle it out on my own, I finally got smart and gave up on THAT scene, and started to remember to trust God FIRST. And then it became almost automatic, and that was God ‘guarding my heart and mind’. Without this process, it is so easy for us to slip into resentment and bitterness, which is certainly not what God desires for us. His peace really is beyond our understanding, not only because he is eager to offer it to us, but also in its depth and power. And it is ours for the asking.

What a wonderful God we have!

I Remind You: You Are Being Pursued

Recently my wife and I had a chance to participate in one of the annual Summits Celebrate Recovery offered. This one took place in Murfreesboro, TN, which by the way is a beautiful piece of our country! At this event we had a chance to hear the Hosanna Poetry Artist who presented a piece entitled: “Pursued”. It was so moving! It reminded me of how deep and obsessive is the love of God toward me. Not a love I can earn. Not a love I can coerce. Not a love I can even accurately define. 5:21, that is five-minutes-and-twenty-one seconds. This is how long it will take for you to see and listen, from start to end, a beautiful piece of poetry that will remind you, once more, of God’s relentless intensions to pursue you. Yes, you. Click here and enjoy this creative presentation to be reminded of the all time truth that God has loved us first (1 John 4:9-10).

Eat It iPhone: Part II

A few months ago, I wrote a post called Eat It, iPhone! (Putting My iPhone in Its Place). I felt excited for a few days, maybe a week, about implementing the ideas I wrote about for putting some boundaries around my iPhone usage. 

But I have to tell you...after a few days, there I was again, back to same habits, mindlessly scrolling Facebook when I had a free moment. Hiding from my kids in the bathroom, on Pinterest, feverishly searching out my next improvement. Checking my phone as soon as I woke up. 

I'm not saying at all that I shouldn't be on Facebook or Pinterest or my phone. I think you know that. But I honestly just feel like my brain (and my heart) keeps turning again and again to find something to fill me. To fill the void of boredom, of the monotony of life, of the routine moments. To escape from the grind of life. I'm looking for entertainment. I'm looking for rest. I'm looking for something to rescue me from it all.

I'm finding that this issue goes a little deeper for me than I originally thought. 

My husband and I have been having some honest conversations about these things that I'm feeling. I feel tired. I feel like the day is a never-ending list of tasks. And that's part of why I'm looking for some kind of rest, and some kind of filling, when I'm flipping through my phone. But I'm finding that it's not restful at all. It's actually more cluttering to my mind and my emotions. 

It's kind of like how I think I'll be more fulfilled if I have more stuff, buy more things, but then I actually just end up feeling more weighed down by the material things cluttering up my life. Or when I think junk food will be so satisfying, but I end up feeling sick and gross.

So, yes, we've been having these conversations, my husband and I. We've been sitting out on the porch after the kids are in bed, and I've been trying to unravel what I feel inside.

And some of the things we're discussing now are subjects like: what really is restful for me. And how I tend to think that if I'm resting, then I should feel lazy, and therefore guilty. I think I've bought into the lie that my worth is linked to my efficiency and productivity. And so I haven't been intentionally resting, playing, relaxing. I then find myself trying to escape through my phone. Trying to get away from my kids and my family because I'm just so stinking tired.

So, practically, some of things we're trying out are:

·       Me getting up early. I know this doesn't sound 'restful,' but, for me, it really is. I find I really need the space to be disconnected from my children's needs and voices and hands. I need the time to think and process. I feel like I'm drowning throughout the day if I don't have time to think. And be quiet. And be alone. So this includes, right now, time for me to do some kind of connection with God, some kind of thinking about my own emotional state, some kind of exercise (because I also have issues where I end up fluctuating in my emotions about myself and my physical body very extremely if I'm not exercising. Exercising is one tangible way I manage a more healthy perspective about my body), and a shower. All before the girls wake up. The way we've entitled this space in our talks is 'scheduling in margin.' If I don't have 'margin' in my day, I'm finding I just don't do well. I look for it unhealthy ways.

·       A few small technology shifts, such as when I read a book, I'm going to try to read an actual book, instead of reading it on my Kindle app on my iPhone. This helps create needed space between me and the iPhone. And it helps my brain do 'resting type things' that are related to a screen.

·       Setting boundaries around cleaning. This may sound completely unconnected, but, for me, it's in the same stream of consciousness. I end up feeling like nothing is ever clean, like I've never done enough, and that's not very far from believing that I'm never enough. Which leads me to want to disconnect, escape, get away from my family because the tasks are never done, there's never a place for rest, and I'm never good enough (that line of thinking has a name: shame). Pretty nasty stuff. So we're finding that I actually, for now, need some pretty strict boundaries on when and how much I can clean. Crazy! Here's what we're doing: every morning, I set the timer and clean up (and do other cleaning projects) for 30 minutes. Then, after dinner, we set the timer for 30 minutes again and both clean for 30 minutes. So that gives us about 90 minutes a day of 'house-cleaning time.' Whatever gets clean, gets clean. And then we just label the house (whether it technically IS or ISN'T) as CLEAN. It is DONE. It is CLEAN. Regardless of whether I think it's perfect or good enough...it's CLEAN. And this creates an atmosphere for me where I can feel like my day is no longer a never-ending series of tasks that never end, and never get done, and I'm never enough. That just helps me not want to turn to my phone for rest because I'm always working to prove that I'm NOT 'not enough.'

·       A technology sabbath and a regular sabbath. I've always kind of felt like I 'couldn't sabbath' because...'I'm a mom.' I couldn't stop working for a day because 'I have children,' and that's my job. But I've started having this conviction that part of my tiredness is connected to my lack of intentional sabbath (or stopping). My lack of sabbath mentality (as well as sabbath practice). So, honestly, I've only tried two sabbaths so far. But the first one was a wonderful success. I'll tell you why I label it a success. First, I decided that I wanted to make my sabbaths also 'technology sabbaths' (where I'd give my phone to my husband, and tell him, "Could you be in charge of anything pressing that anyone texts, but otherwise, I don't want to see my phone at all today?"). That was so good for me: all week I've felt like that simple act in itself of disconnecting from my phone created the space that I've wanted from my phone, but haven't been able to do on my own willpower. The day of being away from it severed my need for it. I don't know if it will always be that way, but this week, I haven't really had the same draw to my phone that I previously did. And it was SO GOOD for my soul to be reminded that everyone in the world would get along fine without me, without my input. My friends, my family, would be fine without me. God is plenty sufficient for all their needs. It was like my mind had to rest in the bigness of God, simply by letting go of my phone and instant connection to everyone for that one day. I didn't anticipate that. And the regular sabbath part of the day was just plain old good for me. To let myself take a nap without guilt. To read happily. It actually made me want to connect with one of my nieces when I was with my family in a way I wouldn't normally, because I'd typically feel too drained. I had extra space in my heart. 

So there you have it. Some of the things that we're trying to implement for me to dig deeper into this issue of rest and where I find it. Carving out intentional spaces for rest, so that I wouldn't constantly be longing for it and looking for it in unhealthy and non-restful ways, and coming up exhausted. 

If you're at all interested in a few more blogs or resources that I, myself, found helpful in my journey, I'll list some below. They're just regular blogs of regular people:

A mother's thoughts on how technology is influencing her child:

http://www.icanteachmychild.com/the-ipad-is-stealing-my-sons-childhood/

Both of these two blogs are commenting on the need for technology sabbaths:

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/05/20/tech-sabbath/

http://mediashift.org/2012/06/why-we-need-a-technology-sabbath158/

A mother's thoughts on how busyness is influencing her family:

http://raisedgood.com/simplifying-heals-whole-family/

Focus on the Family's brief comments on the cultural phenomenon of mothers staying so busy:

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/about/focus-findings/parenting/why-is-mom-too-busy

A few blogs of mothers wrestling with the issue of Sabbath:

http://www.theconfidentmom.com/05/faith-and-family/steps-implementing-sabbath/

http://thescooponbalance.com/serious-about-the-sabbath/

https://formissionarymoms.com/2009/03/05/sabbath-rest-with-small-children/

http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/parenting/challenges/frazzled-family/a-sabbath-for-mommy

Sarah Howard

Huddle Up: It’s Time For a Pep Talk

I always love a good pep talk. My favorite part in many movies is the part where troops are rallied or the main character gets a jolt of strength from recalled wisdom. These moments seem to give a bird’s eye view in the middle of heated circumstances offering the perspective needed to carry on. In similar fashion, I write this for you, for I have found that even when life seems to be relatively uneventful, the ordinary and mundane can whittle away our perspective if we allow it. Let us not lose sight of who we are fighting for, who we are up against or where we are going, whether we are in the thick of battling the hard things in life or going to another day of work. Let us not forget that we are participants in a great story. Let us not forget who we are.

 We have often heard about the powerful impact our story can have on others as we live openly and talk about Jesus’ presence in our lives. However, I have realized that I have to get good at preaching truth to my own heart and soul before I can effectively share with others. So, here is how my pep talk to myself goes.

Who am I fighting for? What is He like? I fight for God, and He is incredibly powerful. “Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all of these? He who brings out the starry host one by one and calls forth each of them by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength NOT ONE of them is missing…Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.” He is incredibly good. “…He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak” (Is. 40:26,28, NIV). He is incredibly gracious and compassionate. “The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love…As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.” (Psalm 103:4, 13, ESV).

Who am I up against? “… Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8, NIV).” “…He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth , for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44, NIV). 

Who am I? What is true of me? I am free. “For the law of the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death” (Rom. 8:2, ESV). I belong because I am a child of the most high God. “…you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons by who we cry ‘Abba! Father!’…and if children, then heirs-heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ…” (Rom. 8:15, 17, ESV). I am part of a great heritage of faithful fighters. “We do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved” (Heb. 10:39, NIV).

 So why do I keep fighting for truth and striving to run this race with excellence? I fight and run to win! “I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable” (1 Cor. 9:24-25, ESV). I am a participant a GREAT story where God crushes all my enemies and makes me more like Him. “…He will dwell with them and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away… Behold, I am making all things new” (Rev. 3-5, ESV).

This God who is incredibly powerful, good and gracious saw fit to save me! He stepped in to my family’s history and drew close to my grandparents and parents so that I might have the chance to know him. He rescued me from the power of darkness and my enemy the devil who would seek to keep me bound in lies. He has forever changed my identity to be a free, dearly loved child adopted into a new family of faith. He is too big and has brought me too far for me to quit. Hallelujah!! This is the perspective that keeps me going and the pep talk that gives me the tenacity I need to engage daily. So let’s go! It’s time to get off the bench, out of the huddle, back onto the battlefield and into the game. 

Sophia Howard

Caution: Politics Ahead

Caution: Politics Ahead

There's something happening here.  What it is ain't exactly clear.

A fundamental shift is happing in Christendom, or at least in the North American church.  What is it?  Well, as Buffalo Springfield summed it up, it ain't exactly clear.  Ask different members of the faith, and you will likely get different answers.  The old guard, meaning the conservative Christian or "Religious Right", who has been virtually the only voice speaking for all of us, might tell you it's some young liberal progressives with a broken moral compass.  Christian millennials might tell you it's a rejection of the politicization of religion.  Still others might tell you that religion has become too commercial, or the church too corrupt, or the faithful too hypocritical.  And while statistics show that many young people are leaving the church, many others are choosing the path that was not necessarily available ten or twenty years ago.  They are choosing to remain faithful and use their influence to change church culture, and not everyone is happy about it.

In the 90's, there was not much diversity, politically speaking, in the evangelical church.  Nearly every man, woman, and teenager was a cut-and-dry conservative.  In fact, it was basically a foregone conclusion that the born-again flock would vote in lock-step with Jerry Falwell and James Dobson.  Opposing abortion and gay rights were the only political issues that mattered, and Ronald Reagan was the patron saint of the movement.  I remember having a debate with my high school best friend over who was more conservative.  I wore it like a badge of honor.

Many of my friends, family, and church family are still very conservative on most issues.  In fact, if I divide my friends based on age, nearly all who are older than me are more conservative than I am, while most younger than me are less.  My generation is a pretty even split.  I find myself holding on less and less to the ideas that I once held dear.  You could say I’m becoming more liberal, that’s fair, but please reserve judgment as to what exactly that means.

I have gone into detail at other times, in other posts, about my journey, but that is not my point today.  I believe what might be happening in the church is a shifting focus toward love.  Don’t get me wrong – I am not suggesting that this shifting focus toward love and the shift from more conservative to more liberal values are one and the same.  The fact that my more conservative friends are accepting of a variety of viewpoints within the church illustrates the shift toward love.  We are all trying to be more like Christ.  His message was one of inclusive love.  He loved, befriended, socialized with sinners and outcasts.  In his perfection, he loved the unlovable. 

The “Religious Right” of the 80’s and 90’s tended to focus on bringing people into alignment with Christian values through the political process.  While that sounds like a worthwhile pursuit, it was also alienating.  The movement lives on, for better or worse, in today’s politics.  But the church is changing.  Even as US politics become more left-right divisive, the church becomes more and more diverse and accepting of people and viewpoints once considered outsiders.  I can speak openly about topics ranging from social justice to evolution, and expect a spirited debate with no fear that my faith will be questioned.

We might disagree on a lot of topics, but we can agree that more love is always better and that following the example of Jesus is a good place to be.  Even if, for my conservative friends, accepting a “liberal” like me is as far as they are willing to go, I’ll take it.  We are becoming a church that is more accepting of differences, not because we no longer care about sin, but because we are learning to love well.  If that sounds a little murky, that’s OK.  Just keep in mind that old hymn by Buffalo Springfield.

Jeff Hyson

Father's Day

June is full of special days. There are weddings, recitals, and graduations…and then there is Father’s Day. Oh, how I hated Father’s Day. It almost made me dread the whole month of June.

I didn’t have a dad anymore.  I felt cheated. I hated that others had a dad to celebrate. It didn’t seem fair. I didn’t want to be gracious or magnanimous about it at all. I was jealous and angry. I felt like I had to be a phony all that day and try to pretend the gaping hole in my heart didn’t exist. Sometimes I felt like a self-pitying, whining, ungrateful brat. I hated that too. I wanted to just stay in bed. But my husband had a father and my children did too. I knew we needed to celebrate. It was hard to survive the day, but I worked at it…for years.

When I was in my 30’s, I attended a huge conference at the Civic Center in Philadelphia. In the overload of teaching that long week, a verse sprang off the pages of my Bible, one I had seen before, but this time it felt like David, thousands of years earlier, had penned the words specifically for me.

Psalm 68:5 says that God is “Father of the fatherless…” I know it sounds impossible, but I had never thought of myself in those terms before. I knew I didn’t have a dad, but that awful label, fatherless? Yes, I was! And God cared so much about me (and those like me) and because He knew the sadness, insecurity and loneliness I (and others like me) felt without a dad, He addressed the situation directly in His Word. I was astonished! Here was a Truth, a promise, I needed to grasp. I wasn’t abandoned at all. I still had a Father, The Father. And I was His child!

Believe me, no matter how old you get, you never outgrow the longing for a father. Even when biological fathers leave, wound, betray, or fail us, something in us craves that one-of-a-kind relationship. The very word father conjures up sentimental and emotional responses in my heart even today, and I’m a 64-year-old grandmother. For me, it still conveys the notion of protection, security, leadership, vision, affection, understanding, wisdom, safety, authority, belonging, and love. No, you don’t outgrow that desire to have all these, to have someone who cares enough for you to provide them for you. I think it’s because God puts it there.

I was blessed to have an earthly dad who tried his best to represent the character and beauty of my Heavenly Father and to care for his children as the Father would. I think he was, without knowing he would soon have a massive heart attack, making it easy for me to transition my hope, loyalty, and affection to my Heavenly Father. A good father reflects the love of the Heavenly Father and helps us to know Him. I think that’s every father’s job, isn’t it?  

I have since found many promises and words of comfort and encouragement in Scripture that reference my being a beloved child of the Father. Another favorite one comes from Romans 8:15. “The Spirit you received brought about your adoption…”  Adopted! Paul then adds the Aramaic word for father, a word young children might use, and continues his address. “By him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’” What intimacy I am privileged to have with the Heavenly Father, King of the universe, my Daddy.

So Father’s Day has changed for me. The one in June doesn’t bother me—too much. No, I have come to think of every day as Father’s Day. I celebrate my loving Heavenly Father Who blessed me with a good dad for a short time on this earth and has adopted me now as His very own child. I am humbled and grateful.

And I’m sure my Father can beat yours anytime, anywhere…unless, of course, we have the same Father. I hope so.

Then we can celebrate Him every day together.

Don't Run Into The Cross, Come Under It

I am having one of those moments when one looks back on a given experience, and my own response is to smile. Life has a way of teaching us significant things through our day to day experiences - if we stop to reflect on it. I want to take this further and say, God has a way of using all of life to increase our awareness of who we are, who others are or who He really is.

Darkness has a way of reducing our level of awareness. The other night, as I was searching for a piece of sound equipment, I saw the need to walk further into a corner that was very dark. As I held my cell phone to take advantage of the flashlight feature, I took one more step and bam!!! I hit something with the right side of my forehead. I came to realize after a few seconds that I had run into a cross - a human sized cross that was made out of some rugged, hard kind of wood. I reached to feel the spot on my forehead and felt a bit of blood. I could not believe it; I thought to myself, "I just ran into the cross." After a moment of reflection, it was as if God was whispering something softly into my soul. The message was simple: "Diego, it is better to come under the cross than to run into it." I pondered on this thought and realized how living in darkness often causes me and others to run into the cross (or stumble upon it) instead of living under the benefits of the cross. Ultimately speaking, the cross represents the One who is able to both bless (1 Peter2:24) or crush (Luke 20:17-18) anyone depending on that person's relationship to the One represented by the cross. Jesus is the One who is embodied in the cross. He is the One with both authority and power to deal with each human being according to their relationship to Him. If the relationship is characterized by rejection of the cross, the outcome is eternally fatal. On the other hand, if the relationship is a humble posture to come under the benefits of the One who sacrificed it all to reconcile us to God the Father, the gains are glorious and infinitely unending!

Are you running into the cross or are you coming under it? Is your life at present characterized by darkness or are you allowing the light of the cross to bring its transforming light and power over you? 

My little bleeding wound on my forehead accomplished little that night; the blood Jesus shed on the cross is given for our real healing if we come under it: "He himself bore our sins” in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by His wounds you have been healed.” (1 Peter 2:24).

Diego Cuartas

Letter to Teens Unboxing Their First Smartphone

Here is a link to a helpful article about how to use your smartphone to bring glory to God instead of destruction. This is a helpful article for teens as well as adults.

Yesterday Was Election Day!

“Oh, send out Your light, and Your truth! Let them lead me” Ps. 43:3

Thought I would share a very recent opportunity I was faced with this past week, and it coincided with the message Pastor Nate preached on Sunday about throwing away your VETO stamp.

Interesting, huh?! Here’s the story. For the last several months God has been working on me about making some financial changes to my private counseling practice, Truth and Light Counseling. The way I knew He was working on me is because it became a more frequent topic of conversation for me, I was praying constantly about it, others talked to me about it. Then it is my responsibility to ask God what is my flesh and what is His Spirit in all of this. I certainly do not want to go about it my own way because that won’t end up well.

Anyhow, this past week, the idea of making the change of increasing my fee $15.00 per session was persistent. It was heavy on me, but I was very concerned. I make sure that all decisions for the practice always get filtered through the lens of the original vision God gave me over 20 years ago: provide affordable counseling for people. Everyone cannot pay hundreds of dollars each week for a 50 minute session. I’m one of them!

Fast forward. I was on my way to church last Sunday, driving down the road, and I begged God to really confirm for me that the increase was indeed Him calling me to it, or show me that it was my flesh. I needed to know. I wouldn’t move forward unless I got the confirmation. Immediately these scriptures came to me;

Isaiah 43:19 English Standard Version (ESV)

 19 Behold, I am doing a new thing;

    now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

I will make a way in the wilderness

    and rivers in the desert.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (AMP )

 Therefore if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior], he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, new things have come [because spiritual awakening brings a new life].

I still cried out and said, “God, are these scriptures confirmation?”

Fast forward. I walk into church, and Pastor Nate starts preaching the Word of God! He talks about what it is like to have everything in our own control, safe, secure, etc. God’s Spirit, or the Holy Spirit, started speaking to me. God showed me how that was exactly what I was doing with Truth and Light Counseling’s fee change. Though it may seem like an insignificant detail to some: what’s $15.00? But it is big. Following Jesus into every area of life is HUGE! Even in our businesses and careers. Truth and Light Counseling BELONGS TO GOD AND IS ON LOAN TO ME TO BE A GOOD STEWARD OF IT. I AM TO CARRY ON THE PRACTICE ACCORDING TO MY BOSS’S DESIRES, AND MY BOSS IS GOD! AMEN

Pastor Nate then went on to talk about the parable of not being able to put “new wine in old wine skins.” It just won’t work. God was definitely calling me to something NEW! There it was! So, you guessed it. I started all my calls to my clients the next day, informing them of the $15 dollar increase, and some actually gave further confirmation as well. It went from a cloudy thought process to a beautiful celebratory event for me.

The verse I named the practice after is found in Psalms 43:3:

“Oh, send out Your light, and Your truth! Let them lead me”

Blessings Friends!

Lois Robinson

Take Your Place

I have had people ask me what it’s like or how it’s going having two kids. The short answer is that it is going well, I like it, etc. My long answer is what I will attempt to explain to you here. I am not the same Sophia that I was just two short years ago before having children. Being a mother is one of the most challenging and beautiful things God is using to transform me. I am changing, and change is good.

Everyday my strengths and weaknesses are exposed. My multi-tasking skills have gone through the roof, for one thing. I have managed to nurse the baby while spoon-feeding my then 16 month old and feeding myself. However, I am not always patient, neat, gracious or even joyful. I could list other ways our household has changed having experienced the challenges of less “down time,” more messes, and feeling pulled in different directions; but I would be remiss if I didn’t include the joys of little girl giggles, baby cuddles, the wonder of watching them experience new things, lots and lots of singing, reading and being creative, dance parties in the kitchen and talking about how much Jesus loves us. This beautiful smattering of laughter and tears, amazement and frustration is my life right now.

One of the things I am learning through it all is the importance of taking my place and being fully present with no excuses or apologies. No, I may not have the same degree of freedom to hang out late or to even participate in ministry in the same ways I did before, but I wouldn’t change it. My family is a gift to me and an asset, not a burden. I am right where I need to be. I don’t have to rush through this stage or bemoan that I am not single and childfree in order to find significance and contentment. God does not hide himself from me until I make it to the next level. He is where I am. He stands with me when the girls skipped a nap and are having a meltdown from being overtired, and He invites me to take my place and to lean into Him in my limitations. “Be present. I am in this.” When we are looking forward to hanging out with friends but have to choose a time that works best for our schedule as family and its awkward in the exchange, He invites me to take my place. “Keep making the effort. I am in this.”

Are there ways that you struggle with being fully present or feel like you have to apologize to others for the season of life you are in? Whether you are single and people keep asking when you are going to get married or you’re married and people want to know when you are going to have children or your job seems kind of meh in comparison to someone else’s or whatever it may be, I encourage you to take your place. What if you don’t have to be somewhere else but exactly where you are because Jesus is there? In the joy and sorrow of your season of life, God is there. Let us take up our place next to Him and stop apologizing for where we aren’t according to the expectation of others. I trust that as we do, beautiful things will happen and the story we tell with our lives will be much richer than an imitation of someone else or merely a reflection of our culture. Let it begin with me. Hello, my name is Sophia. I am a mom of two under two years old, and I am taking my place.

Eat It, iPhone! (Putting My iPhone In Its Place)

I was starting to feel concerned about myself.

I was finding myself...

...very easily annoyed during the day by my youngest daughter...

...much too quickly frustrated by both my daughters' normal, learning disobedience...

...overwhelmed by and anxious about the lengthy to-do list that was forever looming over my head...

...discontent and really wishing that I could just be doing something else other than playing dolls or breaking up ANOTHER argument between a three-year-old and a five-year-old.

And you know what I found myself wishing I could be doing? What little respite I noticed myself turning to over and over and over again? 

My phone. 

I almost hate jumping on the bandwagon of saying that 'the iPhone is really changing our culture'...but the truth is...I'm finding that it's changing me. And I'm concerned. 

When I first realized that I was concerned about my relationship with my iPhone, I started tuning into how my use of technology leaves me feeling. Here are some of the words I came up with to try to label the disquiet that is growing in me:

• scattered
• fragmented in my mind
• not completely present, mentally and emotionally, frequently with my children and sometimes with my husband
• distracted
• itching to look something up or multitask when I'm playing or talking with my children.

Those descriptions were sobering enough to motivate me to try to find some good resources about technology and its influence on our culture. Here are a few that I spent some time reading:

http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/unsocial-media

http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/six-ways-your-phone-is-changing-you

http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/six-wrong-reasons-to-check-your-phone-in-the-morning

So I read these three articles. And I thought about them throughout my day. Later that night, I plopped down on my couch, tired at the end of the day, and I started praying out loud. 

"Oh, God," I said. "I'm not sure what's going on with me. I am getting so annoyed so easily at Bethie. I don't know if I just need a break from the daily grind of mothering...or if there's something to what I'm wondering about this technology thing...but I need to confess something to You. I think I do have some kind of addiction thing going on with my phone. I want to check it as soon as I wake up. My first thought is CERTAINLY not that I need You, and that I need You desperately for the tasks You've called me to for this day. I don't re-orient my mind when I wake up. I just jump in with my own strength. My own thoughts. My own mindset. And maybe that's part of my annoyance at my precious children. I don't have Your mind inside of me transforming me. I don't even have on my radar most of the time that You commanded the ones that are a part of Your family to love You with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength...and then to love others as themselves. Geez. That's not really part of conscious thoughts about mothering during the day and I'm ashamed to admit it. I need Your forgiveness, Jesus. And You know what else, God? I would rather be Pinterest-ing than playing dollhouse. I would rather be scrolling Facebook than chatting in the car. I'd rather be multi-tasking and getting things done than slowing down and 'uni-tasking'...really being present with my girls. I confess that to You, God. What is best for me and my family and my children doesn't really feel best to me. It feels too hard. I need Your help." 

So when I opened my eyes in the morning, guess what? I didn't touch my phone. I laid there in my bed and I said, "God, I don't have what it takes to mother these girls today. I'm not going to really want to be present with them. But You've got what I need. And You're willing to pour out all that I need for today. So would You help me?"

And then we went through our morning together.

I zipped my phone in my purse. I usually put it on my lap in the car. But I realized that it doesn't really need to be there, does it? There's pretty much nothing that someone will say that I really NEED to answer RIGHT NOW. They can wait a few minutes.

I thought of a list that I needed to make while the girls and I were at Dunkin' Donuts together. But then I thought, 'Well, Lord, there are times to make lists, and there are times to be present with my girls. I won't die if I don't make that list right now. And I won't die if I happen to forget something because I don't write it down this very second. So I just entrust that list of stuff to You. Could You help me to remember it later on at a better time?'

A Pinterest idea popped into my brain. I pushed it aside. No need to be multi-tasking 24-7, always planning and researching my next project. There is time and space for that. But the time should not be 'squeezed into every single extra little second of downtime." 

When we were in the dollar store together, the thought flitted through my mind to grab my phone and check my texts or Facebook just real quick. But guess what?! I had left my phone in the car on purpose! Eat it, iPhone! Not gonna control me and my relationship with my girls anymore! I'm gonna be present to them! I'm gonna look them right in their littles eyes as we're perusing good old dollar store paraphernalia while I can...because the sad thing is that they're gonna be 35 in the blink of an eye. 

And don't these two look like Happy Girls? I happen to think that there's an extra special happiness on their countenances because their Mama chose them today over distraction, over fragmentation, over being scattered. 

And when we got home...they ran upstairs to play together...and I sat down for five minutes...and I made my list. And I checked my texts. And I found that it really wasn't so appealing after all. Once it was put in its place for a morning, the phone didn't seem so magical. And I didn't feel so fragmented. I felt more whole. Even though it was just a morning. So it makes me wonder what a lifestyle of putting that iPhone in its place will be like. I hope I can find out. 

Sarah Howard

#parentingHOPE

C.S. Who?

It seems that part of being a modern Christian is loving C.S.Lewis.  I mean, who doesn’t?  A prolific writer, teacher, and scholar, not to mention brilliant thinker, C.S. Lewis shows that believers can roll with the intellectual best-of-them.  Most of his casual admirers, however, have no idea that at one point in his life, C.S. Lewis was a staunch atheist.  And not just an atheist because he hadn’t heard the gospel, but an adult who, having been raised in a religious home, grew to reject the faith of his upbringing.

As a father of three, I worry about my children rejecting the faith of their upbringing.  I have seen the statistics.  Just about half of millennials identify as Christian, even though 80% were raised in Christian homes.  There are lots of theories as to why they are leaving, but that just makes the prospect of my “prevent defense” that much more difficult.  I see and hear the same worry from other parents in a similar position.

Then I look at C.S. Lewis.  It was his skepticism that drew him away from the church as a young adult.  He rejected what he saw as faith without logic.  But it was his skepticism and intellect that ultimately brought him back.  In fact, he credited G.K. Chesterton’s book The Everlasting Man, which was a logical rebuttal to an H.G. Wells book (did nobody have first names back then?) with turing him from an atheist back to a theist.

G.K. Chesterton once said, “There are two ways of getting home; and one of them is to stay there. The other is to walk around the whole world till we come back to the same place.”

I don’t want my children to doubt what I have taught them, but I do I want them to be skeptical, to question what they are told by authority figures.  I want them to think for themselves, be creative, and consider alternative points of view.  I know that I cannot ultimately decide for them what path they will follow, but I can rest in the truth of what I have learned through my own doubt, skepticism, and discovery.

I can also look at the life of C.S. Lewis, who took the long road, around the world, and came back to where he started.  Keeping this in mind makes parenting a little less scary, and reminds me that God is in control of all paths, not just the one I’d choose.  And perhaps it also makes me want to call my children by their first initials.  

Jeff Hyson

I Needed to Bake

I needed to bake. I had volunteered cookies for the ladies retreat.

I flipped on the oven and my little countertop TV in the corner.  I would love to tell you I wanted the company of the History Channel or an equally educational PBS station as I worked in my kitchen, but I most likely was clicking up the dial to 137 or 157, the Hallmark channels. Yes, I do love the sappy, trite, and predictable.

Suddenly, there was Super Nanny. I think I had heard of her, but I had never watched her in action. I set my remote down and listened for a bit as I scooped the dough onto the cookie sheet. Nanny was coaching an attractive but haggard-looking couple on how to get their adorable little Gabriella to bed by 8 o’clock. I paused and turned my attention to the fray, curious.

I watched as this persistent daddy cradled his kicking and screaming 3- or 4-year-old’s face and said something like, “It’s time for bed. I am taking you back to your room and you must stay there. You can’t have Mommy. You must obey my voice.” As instructed, he would carry her back and firmly place her in her comfy bed, pull up her covers, and walk out. Within seconds, his hysterical daughter would reappear in the living room, throwing herself on the floor in wild protest. Sweaty but determined, the daddy scooped her up and retraced his steps to put her to bed again and again. What a tantrum!

I was amazed at this stubborn, sassy, little girl’s strength and tenacity.  I bet she carried on for a good half hour before she finally gave in to her exhaustion. I winced. It all seemed vaguely familiar--and way too personal. But it wasn’t until I was sitting at the retreat a few days later munching on my cookies, that it all came together—painfully.

I’m Gabriella!

I am that angry and impudent child. I have a loving Father who knows what’s best for me. He made me, after all. And He loves me. When I rebel or kick up a fuss about His plans, His purposes, or His designs for my life, He gently but resolutely holds my cheeks, looks into my eyes, and tells me to listen to His voice and do as He asks.  

Laura, our speaker at the retreat, reminded us that God alone is the Potter. I love that word picture! My creative, all-wise Maker is asking me to let Him refine me and remove the rocks, stubble, and junk that are deeply embedded in my heart, hidden even from me. He longs for me to allow Him to press, mold and shape me on His wheel, to let Him place me in the fire…it all involves my willing surrender to His hands. I must trust Him and give in to His loving desire to make me more like Jesus, a useful vessel He can use. I can heed His wooing or I can throw a royal fit. I can give myself over to His perfect plan, one I don’t know and can’t control, or I can fling myself on the ground and presumptuously take charge of my own life. Gabriella.

I can climb up into His process and stay there. Or I can be an insolent brat.

I choose the Potter.

I believe there’s no safer place to be than in His hands.

Eileen Hill

Patience & Joy In The Same Sentence

In the morning on April 13, God was speaking to me about how through His mighty power I can be empowered for "all endurance and patience with joy" (Col 1:11). This I find significant given that in our society patience and joy are not two things that you find in the same sentence or in the ordinary description of our human experience. 

Often patience is something you have to endure or put up with. But to accompany it with joy is a whole different reality. Likewise, when you find joy in a person, it is frequently associated with some realization or an expectation that has been fulfilled, not something you are still waiting for. The joy you may experience while enjoying that fabulous meal is not the same as the joy of waiting while the meal is being prepared while you starve.  Paul assures us that through God's mighty power two things are possible: "all endurance and patience with joy".

How are we doing in terms of enduring in all things?

How are we doing in experiencing joy while waiting patiently for something that seems so remote, distant or impossible?

These questions can bridge our current reality with the promise the Apostle Paul reminds us of here. The mighty power of God will make possible for us to endure all things and to wait patiently with some measure of joy. This promise is reinforced in the immediate context by pointing out that endurance and patience with joy are fertilized by our thanksgiving. Paul also adds that our heavenly Father has qualified us to inherit what belongs only to His saints. He has made possible for us to live differently because He has transferred us from the domain of darkness to the kingdom of his beloved Son Jesus. The point is that if God has already accomplished through Jesus the hardest part --our redemption-- how much more would He be committed to suppling what we need to live in a manner that is worthy of the Lord? (verse 10): fully pleasing Him, bearing fruit and increasing in our knowledge of God. Let us not underestimate the fact that enduring in all things and waiting patiently with joy are fruits that bring honor to our Father.

• May God help us believe His promises.
• May He supply what we need to endure in all things and experience a measure of joy while we wait patiently for His redemptive purposes.
• May we be more and more willing to surrender our own definitions of life and the ways we employ to secure such forms of life.

Diego Cuartas