I have had people ask me what it’s like or how it’s going having two kids. The short answer is that it is going well, I like it, etc. My long answer is what I will attempt to explain to you here. I am not the same Sophia that I was just two short years ago before having children. Being a mother is one of the most challenging and beautiful things God is using to transform me. I am changing, and change is good.
Everyday my strengths and weaknesses are exposed. My multi-tasking skills have gone through the roof, for one thing. I have managed to nurse the baby while spoon-feeding my then 16 month old and feeding myself. However, I am not always patient, neat, gracious or even joyful. I could list other ways our household has changed having experienced the challenges of less “down time,” more messes, and feeling pulled in different directions; but I would be remiss if I didn’t include the joys of little girl giggles, baby cuddles, the wonder of watching them experience new things, lots and lots of singing, reading and being creative, dance parties in the kitchen and talking about how much Jesus loves us. This beautiful smattering of laughter and tears, amazement and frustration is my life right now.
One of the things I am learning through it all is the importance of taking my place and being fully present with no excuses or apologies. No, I may not have the same degree of freedom to hang out late or to even participate in ministry in the same ways I did before, but I wouldn’t change it. My family is a gift to me and an asset, not a burden. I am right where I need to be. I don’t have to rush through this stage or bemoan that I am not single and childfree in order to find significance and contentment. God does not hide himself from me until I make it to the next level. He is where I am. He stands with me when the girls skipped a nap and are having a meltdown from being overtired, and He invites me to take my place and to lean into Him in my limitations. “Be present. I am in this.” When we are looking forward to hanging out with friends but have to choose a time that works best for our schedule as family and its awkward in the exchange, He invites me to take my place. “Keep making the effort. I am in this.”
Are there ways that you struggle with being fully present or feel like you have to apologize to others for the season of life you are in? Whether you are single and people keep asking when you are going to get married or you’re married and people want to know when you are going to have children or your job seems kind of meh in comparison to someone else’s or whatever it may be, I encourage you to take your place. What if you don’t have to be somewhere else but exactly where you are because Jesus is there? In the joy and sorrow of your season of life, God is there. Let us take up our place next to Him and stop apologizing for where we aren’t according to the expectation of others. I trust that as we do, beautiful things will happen and the story we tell with our lives will be much richer than an imitation of someone else or merely a reflection of our culture. Let it begin with me. Hello, my name is Sophia. I am a mom of two under two years old, and I am taking my place.